Guess what? While I've been away so much has happened! Last Wednesday I got a letter from the University of Turku saying that I GOT IN! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?! I actually got in! So, I start my English philology studies on August 19th! Congratulations are in order, don't you think? Haha. I'm just so excited about this! I was so stunned when I got the letter and read it, my hands were shaking and I couldn't believe my eyes. But it's true! YAY for me.
I had to start looking for an apartment immediately because there's so little time and suitable apartments in the downtown area can be impossible to find sometimes (we don't have dorms here in Finland - every student has to find and rent their own place. We can afford that because we get all kinds of benefits and support from the government.). I started looking for a place that very same day and called a few people to arrange meetings etc. Then the next morning Tommi and I were about to leave to Turku to check out a few places when I noticed an ad for a cute little studio apartment located in a beautiful area near the sea and the Aura river that flows through the city. I called the number on the ad and the man basically promised to rent it to me as long as I'd show up to see if I really like it (and sign the papers, of course). We went there and I loved it! I signed the papers and now the place is all mine (actually it's all mine starting from August 1st). I COULDN'T BELIEVE HOW LUCKY I WAS! In just two days I had found a place to study AND a place to live! Now I can just relax and I don't have to stress about that anymore. What a relief!
I'm moving to Turku in a little less than a month. It'll be so strange living away from Tommi but sadly, there is no other option. We'll get to see each other on the weekends though and it's only for a couple of years. Tommi will graduate in three years and then he can move to Turku to be with me (I'll graduate in five years). I'll miss him so much and I'm sure he'll miss me a lot too but we'll survive. He has been so amazing and supportive even though this must be difficult for him to see me leave.
I want to show you a few pictures of my new home town Turku:
That's the river Aura in the winter.
Just some street near downtown.
The Turku Castle.
Again, the river Aura.
I love Turku because it's such an old city with beautiful architecture. And yet it's not too big - basically everything I need is within walking distance from my apartment.
Okay now that I've bored you to death with all this I'll stop rambling and start making lunch. I'm determined to do well today!
1. I want to feel beautiful every single day
2. I want to be proud of myself and know for sure that I can do this
3. I want to look hot in a bikini
4. I want to be able to walk without my thighs rubbing against each other
5. I want to be able to look at pictures of me without thinking: "I look so fat!!"
6. I want to spend my energy on other things in life instead of worrying about my weight
7. I want to go shopping and try on clothes without feeling like a whale in the dressing room
8. I want to have people describe me to other people as "sexy and fit" instead of "pretty but chubby"
9. I want to hear people say "YOU'VE LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT!!!"
10. I don't want to ruin my special days worrying about my appearance and comparing myself to others
11. I want to be healthy
12. I want to live longer
13. I want to get more out of my days and have more energy
14. I want to be able to run without getting winded immediately
15. I want to feel confident when I meet new people instead of worrying about what they might think of me
16. I want to feel sexy when I'm naked
17. I want to look - and feel - amazing in my underwear
18. I want to step on that scale and FINALLY realize that I DON'T HAVE TO LOSE ANY MORE WEIGHT
19. I want to have a stronger self-esteem
20. I don't want to feel like the fattest girl in the room
21. I want to love and respect myself more
22. I want to go to the beach without having to feel like people are staring at me
23. I want to take better care of myself
24. I want to dance without worrying about how ridiculous I look
25. I want to be myself again
26. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin
27. I want my BMI to be on the 'normal weight range'
28. I want clothes to fit me better
29. I don't want to be tired all the time
30. I don't want to feel sorry for myself
31. I don't want to feel like a failure anymore
32. I don't want to let myself down again
33. I don't want to hide under baggy clothes
34. I want to look in the mirror and really love what I see
35. I don't want to start every day thinking to myself "I really should lose this weight"
36. I never want to step on the scale again and realize that I am overweight
37. I don't want to risk my health and well-being any longer
38. I don't want to feel self-conscious around people anymore (because of my weight)
39. I don't want to feel miserable anymore
40. I don't want to come up with excuses and lies for eating unhealthy foods
41. I want to flaunt my curves and make them look even better by getting fit and eating right
42. I want to make the right choices that last and stay with me for the rest of my life
43. I want to get fit before our trip to Greece in summer 2010
44. I want to get fit before we get married one day
45. I want to get fit because I need to do that to truly respect myself again
46. I need to lose this weight because I know that'll make me happy
47. I don't want to feel weak, tired and fat ever again
48. I want to change because this is not who I really am
49. I want to be thin because then I can finally be free of most of the negative things in my life that I have dragged along for years not being able to leave them behind
50. I want to lose this extra weight and be a healthy, strong woman because, most of all, I WANT MY LIFE BACK.
I decided to start completely fresh. I switched my SparkDiet stage back to FastBreak. Back to square one, ladies. I just figured it'll do me good to start over and remind myself why I want this so badly and how this is really done. After all, I want to really learn to lead a healthy life now and in the future so that I won't have to find myself in that horrible situation ever again (the situation being the moment I realized that I had gained over 60 pounds). It's back to basics and I'm loving every minute of it. I got lost somewhere along the way and I need to start over. I'm not giving up. Ever. I know this has been a setback but I'm not going to let it get me down. It's only human to make mistakes. I'm just going to do my best to learn from them and become a stronger person.
I also updated my goals. Since I'm not in a hurry and since slow weight loss is the best way to go, I changed my weight loss goals so that I have more time and less stress about meeting my goals in time. Tommi and I are going to Greece in June 2010 for two weeks and I really want to be bikini ready by then! It only seemed natural to select June 1st 2010 as my deadline: my goal is to get down to 120 lbs by then. This means I get to eat a little bit more and only have to lose less than a half a pound per week. Since I'm not in a hurry it sounds good to me. (And if I lose weight faster I won't mind!). I really want to take this time to focus on myself and learn to avoid setbacks (and cope with them when they occur) as well as possible. I'll work out and tone up my body while I'm losing weight to make sure I'm losing fat and not muscle. I'm excited and confident. Now I just need to get my momentum going again!
Today was another beautiful summer day. I woke up around 7.30 am (which I'm so very proud of!), put on my make-up and had a light breakfast (delicious watermelon!). Then Tommi and I went for a little walk and enjoyed the sunshine. We had fresh tomatoes with feta cheese and some bread for lunch and then got ready to do a little shopping before we went to the movies. I bought a shirt and a beautiful pair of shoes and Tommi bought T-shirts and shorts. Then we went to see The Hangover which was SO FUNNY! You definitely should see it if you haven't already done that! I laughed so much. :)
Tomorrow morning my mom, Amanda and I are going to Turku for a couple of days. My train leaves at 8 am and I'll be in Turku around 11. Turku is such a beautiful city in the south coast of Finland and I'm really looking forward to going there! We'll do lots of shopping and eat delicious meals in cozy restaurants by the sea... It'll be great! I won't be able to update while I'm there though. Next update will be taking place on Sunday evening then!
Okay, ladies, I better get ready for bed now. I have to get up really early tomorrow! Hope you're all doing fabulous!! LOVE YOURSELVES BECAUSE YOU ARE AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL! Remember that! :)
I woke up today around 9.30 am and the first thing I noticed was that the sky was blue and the sun was shining so beautifully that I just absolutely had to go to the beach today. So, Tommi and I packed our bags and I put on my bikini - and off we went. We bought baguettes from a bakery and fresh cherries and strawberries. Then we spent the whole day lying in the sun, eating strawberries, talking about everything and nothing in particular, enjoying the beautiful day. We got back to the flat around 6 and then it was time to take a shower & watch Grey's Anatomy (reruns!) while Tommi went to the store to buy us a little something for dinner. He bought a watermelon (yum!) and all kinds of veggies and feta cheese so I made a lovely Greek salad and watermelon for dessert. It just doesn't get any better than this!
I just came across a few lovely pictures of my role model BEYONCÉ! Just thought I'd share them. Hopefully they'll motivate me when I'm here on Sparks and push me towards my goal.
Today was another wonderful day spent in the sun with friends. I'm so lucky I have such amazing people in my life and a family that really loves me. Today I said bye to my parents and Amanda and Tommi and I headed back to Lahti. Now we're here at our lovely little flat. It's good to be home again!
It's supposed to be really warm and sunny tomorrow so Tommi and I are probably going to the beach for the day. We'll pack some healthy snacks to eat over there if we get hungry. I'll swim over there (that'll burn at least some calories, right? ;)) and work out when I get home in the evening.