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I fell down - but I'm getting back up.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

I don't even know how long it's been since my last update. To be honest, I don't know what exactly happened. All I know is that I had a lot to do and I was really, really stressed and PMSing (not a good combination!). So, because I was so busy I cut back my time here on Sparks and suddenly realized that I stopped tracking my meals and before I knew it, I started eating unhealthy meals and too many calories. It's been CHAOTIC. I don't know how to pick myself up and keep moving forward. Luckily I've been working out every day which I'm really, really proud of - and I've actually managed to stay at the same weight even though I haven't been doing so well food-wise. I've been really stressed and I'm feeling extremely guilty for falling back into my old habits and not being active here. It's so weird how it happened - I had no idea what was going on until I had already fallen down. But I will get up. I will keep on moving forward.

Somehow.

I'm not going to give up. Things like these happen in real life and it's okay - I'm just glad I realized that I was losing my grip. It's never too late to change your ways!

I hope all of you lovely ladies are doing better than I am at the moment. I'm going to take time to read your updates and leave comments tomorrow (it's 10 pm here in Finland and Tommi and I are about to start watching Mr. And Mrs. Smith!).

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEL_RIOSE 5/17/2009 1:56PM

    I've been having a similar problem the past few weeks. I've still managed to get on and track my calories, but it's more tracking the next day rather than while the day is going, and I can easily see myself just completely disappearing without realizing it. The point is that you came back though. Live is crazy and sometimes we just don't have the time to visit our computers (SP totally needs an application you can access from all cell phones haha).
Glad to see your back, and glad to see you're getting back on the horse. Good luck!

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LUCYGODDESS 5/16/2009 6:17PM

    Let me know how Mr & Mrs Smith was. I may rent it...MAAAYYYY...I really am not a fan of Brangelina...I am a huge "Friends" fan & loved the Brad/Jennifer Aniston thing & when he left her, really started hating on him & Angie. LOL....I'm sure they have their side of it, but still. Oh & besides the review, I'm still, STILL waiting on the spaghetti carbonara recipe from you. I KNOW I KNOW...you fell off the wagon, but HELLO...you have an American friend extending a hand, saying, GET the H_LL back up on this wagon with me, girlfriend. UMMMM I'm waiting!!!! emoticon

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2BLEAN_N_FIT_AZ 5/16/2009 5:42PM

    again, it happpens, what you have going for you is that you realized it before it got out of hand...you've been able to continue exercising. Use what happened as a lesson, the good eating isn't a habit yet, it will be.
I'd hate to tell you how many times it would be so easy for me to slip back to old eating habits, but I don't...sometimes I have to force myself to make the good food choices...and afterwards I'm pleased with myself for the good choice I did make, rather than angry at myself for a bad food choice.
You're back on your feet, move forward, let go of the past, embrace it, learn from it and continue on...we all nedd to dust ourselves off now and then and get back to what needs to be down.
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Jo Ann

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MSLZZY 5/16/2009 4:13PM

    You can't control chaos, PMS or lots of other things. But once life is settled down, you'll get
back to eating right. emoticon

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I'm alive

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Hi everyone!

Just wanted to let you guys know that I'm still alive and doing well. I know I haven't been updating lately but that's only because I've been ridiculously busy. I'm not kidding: I've had to study, study, study and study all the time basically. Now I'm finally done with all the stuff I was supposed to do and I can relax. I'm so incredibly tired. I almost feel asleep while taking a shower a while ago. My eyes were already closed and I was practically dreaming. That means I need to go to bed right now! I've been working out every day and I've managed to eat somewhat properly. I actually think I'm losing weight.

Anyway, I just wanted to update really quickly in case you're wondering where I went all of a sudden. Don't get me wrong, I love Sparks and I appreciate all the help I've gotten, but this can be so incredibly time-consuming at times. I thought it would be more important to study properly and spend all the free time I possibly could working out.

So I'm still on the right track! Hope you're all doing well! I've missed you and Sparks! :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PSYCHEDOUT 5/10/2009 2:40PM

    I'm glad to hear that you are able to keep to your goals despite the busyness. I have been suffering from the same school bogged down busy that keeps me from SP too. It all will come to an end in time!

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BEL_RIOSE 5/10/2009 1:59PM

    Glad to see you're still on track, hope the busy-ness wears off soon!

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LUCYGODDESS 5/8/2009 9:42PM

    Glad you got everything completed diva & have a little down time now! Just relax & like previous poster said, we will be here hon!

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ZANNACHAN 5/7/2009 9:10PM

    Sounds like you have your priorities in the right place to me! I'm glad that you were able to find time to work out and eat right and everything as you hit finals--that's easier said then done.

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MSLZZY 5/7/2009 5:31PM

    Study must come first because it is the most important thing right now. Next, good nutrition, exercise and adequate sleep so you can concentrate. THEN, when all your priorities have been met, the fun can begin. Never apologize for having to choose what is the most important.
We will still be here when your life allows you to relax and come visit us. emoticon

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Bootcamp - Day 13: An amazing day!

Friday, May 01, 2009

We went on a picnic today:





I'll post more pictures tomorrow - Google Chrome apparently isn't willing to co-operate with me today.

We had such a lovely day! We sat there by the lake Päijänne, enjoyed the sunshine, had some champagne and had some good picnic foods I had prepared for us. Granted, I overate. I don't even know how bad the damage is since I haven't tracked it yet (I will in a minute). Tommi and I went for a long walk later in the evening so I managed to burn some of it off!

Hope you all had a wonderful day too!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEL_RIOSE 5/2/2009 1:00AM

    You are sooo pretty!

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LUCYGODDESS 5/1/2009 9:58PM

    Looks like it was a beautiful day for a picnic. Glad you enjoyed yourself. Ya'll are just sooo cute together. I can tell you had a blast!

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Bootcamp - Day 12

Thursday, April 30, 2009

So, my day is almost over and I'm ready put on my pajamas and go to sleep. What a day it was! It seems I'm in a constant hurry. But fortunately I got tomorrow off as it's 1st of May (we call it Vappu here in Finland) and it's a huge celebration here. Parades and picnics and parties. I don't know if they celebrate it anywhere else than in Finland and Sweden - but just think of Labor Day, it's pretty much the same I think. I'm not exactly sure though. But it's a national holiday and that's fine with me; I could use a day off. Tommi and I were planning to go on a picnic tomorrow! That should be fun! Although I'm pretty sure I'll go way over my calories but we'll see. It's okay if I do though since I'm not going to hold back too much on a celebration that happens only once a year!

Today's been another sunny and warm spring day. I really enjoyed my 70-minute long walk and felt really good afterwards too. I also did a little cleaning at the flat and it looks all festive now! Haha.

I was just thinking today how good I feel. I suddenly realized that when I look in the mirror I no longer see only flaws and imperfections. I'm actually pretty happy with the way I look! It's such an amazing feeling and I'm thankful for it.

Enjoy your day! HUGS!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEL_RIOSE 4/30/2009 7:48PM

    Hope you get to play in sun and have a super fun picnic!

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MSLZZY 4/30/2009 5:13PM

    I see a beautiful young woman when I look at your pictures! When you can look at yourself and be happy, that is really all that matters. Enjoy your holiday and tell us all about it later! emoticon

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MAKI34 4/30/2009 4:52PM

    I can't wait 'til the day I can feel good when I look in the mirror! So happy for you! Enjoy your day tomorrow!

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Bootcamp - Day 11: Before and after and somewhere in between

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I just found some old pictures on my laptop that I thought I'd share with you guys.

These pictures were taken in Italy five years ago (when I was 16). I weighed about 115 pounds.









Haha I look so young! My dad didn't even recognize me in that last picture when I showed it to him last weekend.

These pictures were taken in Turkey last August when I was at about 176 pounds. I had already lost about 14 pounds but I still weighed 22 pounds more than I do now:







HAHA OH MY GOD! I'm like: "I'M SO BUSTED!" Look at that pile of french fries... I'm glad I know better now.



I don't even have pictures of me at my heaviest (at 190 lbs) on my laptop but you can imagine what I looked like. Not pretty, I swear. But now that I'm looking at these pictures I have to say that I don't think I want to get down to 115 pounds anymore. Back then I didn't have almost any curves and I've gotten used to the idea that "real women have curves". Actually, I'm perfectly happy as it is. But I'm going to keep eating healthy and I'll work out daily, which I'm sure will make me thinner, fitter, healthier - and, if possible - even happier than I am today.

Hope you're all doing great!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCYGODDESS 4/30/2009 3:53PM

    Good Grief girl. The results from the Turkey pics to now are phenomenal. You look outstanding. I know what you mean about knowing to do better than those fries, but OMG didn't they just look yummy! Throw a little low fat ranch dressing to dip those puppies in & "baby I'm there."

But again! You look fantastic...we all knew it, we all know it, and now you've got the before pics to prove it (though you were pretty there too...just a little heavier). emoticon

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MAKI34 4/30/2009 11:07AM

    I'm so happy that you realized you don't want to get that skinny! You're being realistic because you're not 16 anymore. I also realized that I have to stop wanting to be some crazy weight, instead I just want to be at my pre-pregnancy weight of 140lb. wich is normal and achievable. If I do loose more than that'll be a plus but not a must! Who hoo I rhymed! LOL!

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BEL_RIOSE 4/30/2009 2:02AM

    I did a similar thing today, going through pictures when I was 20 lbs thinner and just thinking back to how I can't wait. But then I thought about my goal weight (120), the last time I was that thin was when I was 14 years old. I'm excited to take 7 years off my fat, if you think about it that way it is a bit more cheery.

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MSLZZY 4/29/2009 5:59PM

    Being thin as a rail isn't everything, as you found out! My daughter, who is much healthier now, said that at one time she was tired of looking like a 10 year old boy. That was before she developed her "curves". We always laugh about that. But she was 16 and embarassed! After 2 children, she says she'd never want to look like that again. Well, that day won't come again!
Enjoy your new life, where you are now and where you don't want to be again. You look gorgeous!

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