I don't even know how long it's been since my last update. To be honest, I don't know what exactly happened. All I know is that I had a lot to do and I was really, really stressed and PMSing (not a good combination!). So, because I was so busy I cut back my time here on Sparks and suddenly realized that I stopped tracking my meals and before I knew it, I started eating unhealthy meals and too many calories. It's been CHAOTIC. I don't know how to pick myself up and keep moving forward. Luckily I've been working out every day which I'm really, really proud of - and I've actually managed to stay at the same weight even though I haven't been doing so well food-wise. I've been really stressed and I'm feeling extremely guilty for falling back into my old habits and not being active here. It's so weird how it happened - I had no idea what was going on until I had already fallen down. But I will get up. I will keep on moving forward.
I'm not going to give up. Things like these happen in real life and it's okay - I'm just glad I realized that I was losing my grip. It's never too late to change your ways!
I hope all of you lovely ladies are doing better than I am at the moment. I'm going to take time to read your updates and leave comments tomorrow (it's 10 pm here in Finland and Tommi and I are about to start watching Mr. And Mrs. Smith!).
Just wanted to let you guys know that I'm still alive and doing well. I know I haven't been updating lately but that's only because I've been ridiculously busy. I'm not kidding: I've had to study, study, study and study all the time basically. Now I'm finally done with all the stuff I was supposed to do and I can relax. I'm so incredibly tired. I almost feel asleep while taking a shower a while ago. My eyes were already closed and I was practically dreaming. That means I need to go to bed right now! I've been working out every day and I've managed to eat somewhat properly. I actually think I'm losing weight.
Anyway, I just wanted to update really quickly in case you're wondering where I went all of a sudden. Don't get me wrong, I love Sparks and I appreciate all the help I've gotten, but this can be so incredibly time-consuming at times. I thought it would be more important to study properly and spend all the free time I possibly could working out.
So I'm still on the right track! Hope you're all doing well! I've missed you and Sparks! :)
I'll post more pictures tomorrow - Google Chrome apparently isn't willing to co-operate with me today.
We had such a lovely day! We sat there by the lake Päijänne, enjoyed the sunshine, had some champagne and had some good picnic foods I had prepared for us. Granted, I overate. I don't even know how bad the damage is since I haven't tracked it yet (I will in a minute). Tommi and I went for a long walk later in the evening so I managed to burn some of it off!
So, my day is almost over and I'm ready put on my pajamas and go to sleep. What a day it was! It seems I'm in a constant hurry. But fortunately I got tomorrow off as it's 1st of May (we call it Vappu here in Finland) and it's a huge celebration here. Parades and picnics and parties. I don't know if they celebrate it anywhere else than in Finland and Sweden - but just think of Labor Day, it's pretty much the same I think. I'm not exactly sure though. But it's a national holiday and that's fine with me; I could use a day off. Tommi and I were planning to go on a picnic tomorrow! That should be fun! Although I'm pretty sure I'll go way over my calories but we'll see. It's okay if I do though since I'm not going to hold back too much on a celebration that happens only once a year!
Today's been another sunny and warm spring day. I really enjoyed my 70-minute long walk and felt really good afterwards too. I also did a little cleaning at the flat and it looks all festive now! Haha.
I was just thinking today how good I feel. I suddenly realized that when I look in the mirror I no longer see only flaws and imperfections. I'm actually pretty happy with the way I look! It's such an amazing feeling and I'm thankful for it.
I just found some old pictures on my laptop that I thought I'd share with you guys.
These pictures were taken in Italy five years ago (when I was 16). I weighed about 115 pounds.
Haha I look so young! My dad didn't even recognize me in that last picture when I showed it to him last weekend.
These pictures were taken in Turkey last August when I was at about 176 pounds. I had already lost about 14 pounds but I still weighed 22 pounds more than I do now:
HAHA OH MY GOD! I'm like: "I'M SO BUSTED!" Look at that pile of french fries... I'm glad I know better now.
I don't even have pictures of me at my heaviest (at 190 lbs) on my laptop but you can imagine what I looked like. Not pretty, I swear. But now that I'm looking at these pictures I have to say that I don't think I want to get down to 115 pounds anymore. Back then I didn't have almost any curves and I've gotten used to the idea that "real women have curves". Actually, I'm perfectly happy as it is. But I'm going to keep eating healthy and I'll work out daily, which I'm sure will make me thinner, fitter, healthier - and, if possible - even happier than I am today.