Sunday, April 05, 2009
So here's the deal: I woke up today feeling a bit hungry. My boyfriend T made breakfast (baguette with cheese and red peppers & chocolate cereal with nonfat milk). Before I knew it, I was eating the leftover chocolate from last night (yes, I had chocolate) and some liquorice candy while watching TV. And then it hit me like never before.
It was like I suddenly woke up from this haze I've been living in for the last few weeks and realized that I seriously can't keep this up without gaining weight. It's the reality of this situation. I think I've been avoiding the thought of that and ignoring the consequences of my actions but I no longer can't - and nor do I want to.
The truth is that I am going to gain weight if I keep eating like this. I'm going to feel miserable and my self-esteem and self-confidence will be shattered. I'll have to start over and lose all that weight once again. No, no, no. I am not going to let it get that far. I put away the chocolate and the unhealthy foods that cause me to get cravings and I made a promise to myself.
I am going to be my own best friend from now on.
I am going to take the best care of myself I possibly can. I won't destroy my health and confidence by overeating. THAT'S OVER NOW. I haven't been this confident in my entire life. I refuse to go back to my old ways. I know I have the power to stop that from happening.
Today I'm going to give my body a break. For the rest of the day (it's 2.15 pm here in Finland) I'm going to drink green tea and lots and lots of water and eat nonfat yogurt with fruit and berries. I need that. And I'll also plan ahead for the next few days so it'll be easier for me to stay on the right track.
I'll update again later and let you guys know how I'm doing! And maybe I'll even post a picture of today's outfit! (I love fashion and coming up with different outfits for myself; posting the pictures here is a great idea for me because it inspires me to look my best everyday and take good care of myself!)