MUTANTQUEEN   17,685
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MUTANTQUEEN's Recent Blog Entries

Sabotaging Self Sabotage

Sunday, September 26, 2010

This month I've learned that weekends aren't free. I've gained and lost the same 2 lbs. for 3 weekends in a row. No more. I tightened it up this weekend, and I already like the results. I'm on track to lose 30 lbs. this week. I almost can't believe it. I said ALMOST. I think it took all the back and forth this month to get me to the point where I was really ready for the 30 lb. mark. I'm not letting anything get in the way of me and that goal. I believe I can reach it by Thursday -- the end of September. If not, then by Saturday, definitely.

My goal is to get to the point where I accept advancement and change gracefully. I don't want to have to claw my way into progress. It's almost like I set myself up for a struggle. I could have hit 30 lbs. 10 days ago, but I stymied my own success by getting sloppy on the weekends. I knew better, but I did it anyway. I have to believe that's my own little way of sabotaging my progress. So now crossing the 30 lb. mark FEELS like hard work. I really want to get to the point where I'm okay with the weight loss being an 'easy' thing. Ease is something I don't quite know how to relate to -- in any area. I find myself sabotaging my own progress in other areas of my life as well. That's something to work on in the month of October. I'm going to become more at ease with 'ease'.

  


Getting Used to Disappointing People

Friday, September 24, 2010

Well, tonight I was supposed to go to dinner with the in-laws. That didn't happen. I had all my calories by my usual time today -- 4pm. My husband was really disappointed when I called him to tell him I didn't think I should go, and that maybe they should go without me, or we should have breakfast in the morning instead.

Lately I've found that I've had to disappoint people more and more frequently when it comes to social eating. One of the things I have tried to avoid for so long is disappointing people -- not just in this area. The older I get, however, the more I realize that it's just impossible to avoid disappointing people sometimes. You have to follow your own conscience, or your life will be the product of other people's priorities. I can't allow that.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAMADWARF 9/25/2010 12:22PM

    One of the reasons I love this program is because going out and being social are really important to me. I didnt want to have surgery and spend my life eating a teaspoon of food. That being said, I have had to find balance. When I know I am going out in the evening, I eat lightly during the day so I can have dinner. I also go online and plan ahead what I am going to order so I am prepared.

I think it is fine to reschedule that event but you also dont want your family and friends to resent spending less time with you. I, too, agree that you have to do what is best for you however, rescheduling I think would be important so they know they matter to you. Stay strong!

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MAIA2011 9/25/2010 12:00PM

    I am very impressed with your decision. I took a long hard look at my eating problem and recognized that all I did was have lunch and dinner with friends and family. I have now distanced myself from all the hullabaloo and the people who really love me are willing to do other things, too, like walk or go to the beach or come to the gym or just talk. OK, well that's nobody (LOL) but that is what SP is for! Stay strong! You are doing this for you!

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ITSAWRAP_DIMI 9/25/2010 10:06AM

    True you cant please everyone. It is a balance. I fell off the wagon 2 yrs ago and social eating was one of the issues. I dont have much of a social life so I am learning to have both and make healthy choices MOST of the time emoticon

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SHASHEE71 9/24/2010 7:21PM

    You have to do what's right for YOU! I am sure that they know how hard you are working towards reaching your goals and will understand.

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MRSABG 9/24/2010 7:08PM

    You need to make yourself happy. I'm sure they will understand!

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ETWOLIE 9/24/2010 6:54PM

    In addition to trying to stay within my calorie limit, I am a vegetarian and do not eat gluten. There are times when I accept an invitation and just have some tea or a side of cottage cheese or fruit.

You can enjoy the company without piling on the calories.

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BROWNIEISLANDER 9/24/2010 6:50PM

    The right thing hurts sometimes...stay strong!!!! emoticon

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KASSIANDORA 9/24/2010 6:48PM

    I am sure they will get over it!
Do what you need to do to stay healthy!

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I'm Ready

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Okay,

I believe I've broken past the mental barrier that was blocking my openness to reach past that 30 lb. mark. I'm ready to forge that stream! There are times when your head has to catch up to your body in terms of processing the progress you've made, and readying itself for new territory. I believe that when the head, the heart and the body are all in sync, you can't go wrong. So, we're all on board, and ready for new adventures. I try not to put too much pressure on myself to lose weight in a specific amount of time. I tell myself that 5 lbs. a month is reasonable, and if I lose less than that, it's usually a signal that I have stalled out, and need to reassess some things. I may not quite get there in September. I knew the 30 lb. mark would be a doozie. I put on my armor, and I believe I've won the staring contest with the 30 lb. giant. HE WILL COME TUMBLING DOWN!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAREN_BLUEJEANS 9/24/2010 11:26AM

    Great job, giant killer emoticon

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MOMFAN 9/24/2010 2:22AM

    emoticon

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LILDREAMY 9/23/2010 12:07PM

    GREAT attitude! :-D
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RAYLINSTEPHENS 9/23/2010 11:31AM

    Make it so!

You can do it!

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Blocking my Own Progress?

Friday, September 10, 2010

I'm realizing I'm attempting to sabotage my own efforts by revealing them to my loved ones. I'm throwing my new found beliefs about weight loss and mind/body alignment out there, and waiting for them to be challenged or rejected. That gives me further reason to retreat into internal conflict. I will not continue that pattern. I will make a stand, and continue to become who I'm becoming in this world. Self-conflict has led me to depression, anxiety, weight gain, chronic allergies, and on and on and on. No more. I can deal with not being liked, even by those I love. I need to work on gaining some self-love right now.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KIRKEN2 9/12/2010 10:30PM

    my hubby got mad at me when i said that he needs to eat better and same with the boys cuz he lets them have to much crap for snacks. that did not go well with him. it is going to be a long battle that i need to fight.

good luck with it all

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MOMFAN 9/10/2010 4:02PM

    Look in the mirror and tell yourself how amazing you are. It is hard in the beginning but so worth it later! You are amazing! You are special! You can do this!

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LILDREAMY 9/10/2010 11:11AM

    Absolutely! And if those loved ones love you, then they would not try and mess
those efforts up in any way. You gotta look out for #1. You're doing a GREAT job! Don't let ANYONE take that away!

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CDGOLDILOCKS 9/10/2010 11:07AM

    When you change your lifestyle and succeed, your loved ones will see your success and question the way that THEY live their lives. Don't let them undermine your efforts. You can do it.

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Breakthrough

Thursday, September 02, 2010

I find I'm becoming less of a brat when it comes to things I won't allow myself to have much of. I think. Like beef and pork -- and now cappuccino. I haven't really lost this week, and I think it's due in large part to the cappuccinos I've been drinking from BP. Just a theory.

So, I had to forgo my usual morning treat today. I miss it, but I'm not wringing my hands about it. I know it's something I could have, but I'm making the decision to keep it at a distance because it seems to be sabotaging my efforts. I'm more focused on the long-term effects that it will have on the plan, than I am on the momentary pleasure of having it.

Could this be the kind of breakthrough my online weight loss coach Renee Stephens preaches about? Some variation of it? Rather than focus on what I can't have, I'm focusing on the benefit of increased weight loss effectiveness.

Breakthrough was my intention, and on many levels, it's what I'm getting.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATEM325 9/6/2010 8:20PM

    use it as a reward instead! that way you get to enjoy it every once in a while and understand that it is meant to be a treat :) emoticon

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TEENY_BIKINI 9/6/2010 8:10PM

    emoticon

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LILDREAMY 9/2/2010 2:00PM

    Good job! I know it's hard to stop so many things you like but You're doing the right thing but gradually dropping things. This may not be the reason but at least you'll know that and can move on from there or if it is the reason then you can eliminate the bad from your diet until you are ready to maintain. :-)

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SLIMTHICK2 9/2/2010 12:45PM

    Maybe this is the breakthrough moment, all the best.

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