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MUTANTQUEEN's Recent Blog Entries

I'm 25!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I've reached 25 lbs. lost and this feels like the most significant milestone I've hit so far. Yeah, yeah. I've been here before, but not like this. It just FEELS more significant than before. Or maybe it seems to. I guess you always think it will be permanent. I just don't remember celebrating 25 this heartily before. It's never taken me so long to reach it. Maybe that's why. Does that mean it's more likely to stay off? I hate to sound unsure about my continued success, but I feel that over-confidence has been my downfall before. Maybe I should just refuse to judge this experience. Sounds like a plan.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKSONROSE58 8/29/2010 4:13PM

  Congratulations, it just goes to show you can accomplish what you set out to do. It is not always an easy road but you persevered and just look at the great results.

I've felt lead to read your blogs even though I am much older than you. Many of them concerning your weight loss/gain trials sounded so much like some of my experiences.

Please continue your efforts to achieve your goals and continue your blogs. There are folks like me that do receive a blessing from them.

You are a real inspiration to me.

By the way, I live in Jackson, Tn.

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KARLYNCANDOIT 8/26/2010 12:02PM

    emoticon emoticon This is great!!! You should be proud~~

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IARAHS 8/25/2010 4:31PM

    Rock out! Congratulations!!! Just keep doing what you're doing and before you know it, you'll be at your next milestone and this one will be but a fond memory!

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JAMIELOGICAL 8/25/2010 3:57PM

    Yay for you! I don't think you should compare this to past weight-loss achievements. Every experience is new and different and you should value it for itself.

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LILDREAMY 8/25/2010 3:26PM

    emoticon emoticon I'm so proud of you! Keep up the good work! emoticon

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LILDREAMY 8/25/2010 3:26PM

    emoticon emoticon I'm so proud of you! Keep up the good work! emoticon

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LILDREAMY 8/25/2010 3:25PM

    emoticon emoticon I'm so proud of you! Keep up the good work! emoticon

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LILDREAMY 8/25/2010 3:22PM

    emoticon emoticon I'm so proud of you! Keep up the good work! emoticon

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MSV2UU 8/25/2010 2:36PM

    emoticon Keep up the good work!!! emoticon

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 8/25/2010 2:05PM

    emoticon emoticon

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APAINLEY32 8/25/2010 2:03PM

    That's wonderful...keep up the amazing work you're doing. emoticon

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JDBD17 8/25/2010 1:45PM


(Maybe it feels better than before because you're making lifestyle changes and not just losing weight??? I dunno.)


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SAMANTHALEAHE 8/25/2010 1:40PM

  Good job keep up the work

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What I've Learned This Week

Monday, August 23, 2010

Well, I'm in a new "Ville". Really exciting stuff... I know this town will come with its own set of challenges, triumphs and adversity.

What have I learned this week? I've learned that I'm much more of an emotional eater than I thought I was. I eat, not only when I'm bored, but when I'm lonely, anxious, depressed or stressed. My Inside Out Weight Loss coach, Renee Stephens, has helped me to understand that any type of eating when you're not hungry is related to an emotional void. When you understand that, you're open to seeing where you've been trying to 'feed' your emotions.

I did the math, and it looks like I would need to lose over 8 lbs. a month in order to hit my 'flexible' goal of 140 lbs. by next August. If I stay the course I'm on now, (5 lbs. a month), I should be down as low as I've been in my adulthood, so I certainly won't be complaining. It looks like it will take me 'til February of '12 to lose all the weight if I average 5 lbs. a month. That's doable. It seems like a long time away. That's 2 years from my start date. I just need to get mentally adjusted to it. I know I'll feel great about how I look a year from now, though. I'll just focus on that.

Boy, this is more 'mental' than anything. Hmm...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUTANTQUEEN 8/23/2010 12:05PM

    Thanks, guys. I've learned about what a truly realistic goal is the hard way. I've lost weight before, and have burned out. I don't want to go that route again. I'm sure I won't look back in 1.5 years and say, "I'm sorry it took me this long to lose it". I'm sure I'll just be glad I'm there, and that I did it in a way that did not make me miserable, and that I had given myself the skills to maintain it.

I cringe when I hear people talk about losing 10 or 15 lbs. a month. That's hard to maintain. I'll forgo all the 'oos' and 'ahs' from family and friends who only seem to notice drastic weight loss. I'll take going the smart route instead.

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LILDREAMY 8/23/2010 11:49AM

    It takes time to lose and do it right. I think you're doing it right by learning and changing things as you go. I have a friend that he and his wife are doing this p90x. It lasts for 3 months and I think it's really stupid. You basically starve yourself. You're not allowed to splurge (if you do it like you're supposed to). Plus you have this intense work out that doesn't typically fit into a normal life. I'm not saying that those things aren't good in their own way but it's too much at one time and you're not doing a lifestyle change, you're just trying to put a bandaid on a problem that needs to be fixed and p90x is only a temporary fix. We did not get like this in 3 months and I don't believe it's healthy to try and take it away in 3 months. The problem lies with HOW we eat and WHAT we eat. YOU are doing it right by not trying to do a quick fix and YOU will be the one to successfully take it off and keep it off.
emoticon emoticon

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JAMIELOGICAL 8/23/2010 11:45AM

    It's good to set realistic weight-loss goals. When I first started on SparkPeople, I honestly planned to lose 11.5 pounds a month so it would take me 10 months to reach my goal weight!!! Since then, reality has set in and I've been averaging more like 6-7 pounds a month for the past several months. I'm at peace with that now. This is not a race. I just want to get to a healthy weight and not be miserable on the journey. If I really did try to do something as insane as lose 11.5 pounds a month, I might get there faster, but I'd likely burn myself out along the way. I'd have to completely deprive myself of foods I loveand I'd have to push myself even more in my exercise, risking further injury (already had overuse injuries in my knees from pushing too hard back in January and February). So I've decided to take the slower route and enjoy the journey.

I certainly can't complain about the progress I've made. When I first started out, I dreaded how long it was going to take to get to my goal weight, but now I've lasted 9 months, I know I'll be able to last until I reach my goal!

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Well, Knock Me Over With a Feather

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I went on a mini-vacation this weekend, and had a ball. I performed at the San Jose Jazz Festival, and got a very warm reception. I spent a lot of time in airports, eating fast food out of necessity, but I also got a bit of 'vacation brain' while in the Bay Area. I knew I would have to use the 'intuitive eating' method while I was there, because I don't have access to Spark People on my phone. If you've ever been on vacation, however, you realize that watching what you eat can quickly turn into a spectator sport -- you're watching the food make its way to your mouth and down your esophagus.

I probably need to give myself a little credit for at least attempting to limit my portion sizes. I rarely ordered fries. I stopped eating around 5 each day, which is what I normally do. But I drank more soda pop than I ever would have if I were counting calories. I also over-indulged yesterday as a grand finale. I had chocolate cake. Twice. Once at midnight.

I thought surely I had put on 5 lbs. of 'vacation weight'. I stepped on the scale this morning to find that I had actually lost .5 lbs. Wow. I guess the bloating in my stomach is from the sodas rather than actual weight gain. I'm stunned. I guilted myself all weekend because I really didn't know the caloric values of the foods I was eating -- but I guess I've started to train my brain to stop at 1500 calories. There were times when I didn't wait until I was hungry to eat, but rarely did I get over-full.

I listen to a weight loss podcast called "inside Out Weight Loss" which I would highly recommend. You can download it from iTunes. She coaches you to 'set your intention' for what you're expecting based on certain behavior. Although I usually try to follow the Dr. Phil Rule -- Set goals based on behavior, rather than on outcomes -- I went ahead and set an intention that my weight would be the same when I came back as it was when I left. And it worked. Wow. i'll have to try that more often. I never want to be obsessed with the numbers, but I'm glad to not have to backtrack and make up for lost ground.

What's the moral? I'm not sure. I may begin the weaning process from calorie counting by having one 'intuitive eating' day per week and just see how that goes. We'll see. Meanwhile, I'm actually glad to be back to my normal routine. I'm glad to be 'sparking' again. Glad to be weighing in. Glad to be food-tracking. Glad to be moving forward.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KLEVERKIRA 8/17/2010 6:23PM

    Awesome! What a great accomplishment and a nice surprise to have lost after coming back from vacation. Keep it up!

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MUTANTQUEEN 8/17/2010 11:57AM

    Yeah, I was having that cringe moment myself this morning. Wonderful surprise. I do play piano, but not usually when I perform jazz. I'm a singer.

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DAWNDREGER 8/17/2010 11:56AM

    I have this unfounded theory...I think when I've been eating healthy and exercising for as little as two weeks or so, my body gets used to digesting things properly and has more energy so I'm kind of automatically more active (walk faster, etc.) Which is nice because when we can't control what we're offered to eat, at least for a short period of time, our body doesn't immediately break down. does that make any sense at all??? lol

anyways, congrats on setting your intention and sticking to it!

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MSPOOH404 8/17/2010 11:51AM

    I was cringing as I started reading this...just waiting for big "Oh, no...I gained..." moment, but there wasn't one... emoticon Good going!

I think I'm a long way from "intuitive eating." When I go on vacation, I'll have my laptop strapped to my back with an extension cord in my carry-on bag!

By the way, do you sing or play an instrument?

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Developing a Mindset for Weight Loss

Thursday, August 05, 2010

I've recently been enlisted to coach my sister and brother in law in their weight loss efforts. Here are some thoughts I jotted down for them to meditate on for their first week of coaching.

Developing the Proper Mindset for Weight Loss

Change happens gradually. What we are essentially doing is trying to turn the Titanic around. Miracles will happen once in a while, but for the most part, we’re looking for incremental, gradual change. It will probably take a lot longer than you think it should, or will. That’s okay. It will happen as it should. You’re right on track.

It is very common for overweight people to have anxiety around food. We’re anxious when we think we won’t get it, and we’re anxious when we think of the results of getting it. Anxiety is the enemy of positive change. Whenever you sense that you are becoming anxious about appetite, portion control, exercise, or anything else related to weight loss, acknowledge that you are feeling anxious, and begin to work on resisting these feelings. Operate from love, creativity and passion. Do not let fear be the reason you expend your energy for any reason.

You want to start getting in touch with your body. Losing weight naturally is a process of learning to listen to your body and do what’s best for it. Start practicing eating more slowly. It may take a while before this feels natural, but find ways to slow down the eating process. Put down your fork every few bites. Enjoy conversation during mealtime. Chew more thoroughly. Think about the taste of your food. Rate your food, and eat what you love first. Don’t save the best for last. When something tastes particularly good, savor it. Say to yourself, “this is really good”. Say it out loud. The memory of that will sustain you when you have the urge to eat when you’re not truly hungry.

We’re going for slow, consistent change. Drastic change is almost always temporary. Work on slowly adding or taking away things from your diet. Sit with that change for as long as it takes for it to feel natural. If you need to drink more water, don’t go cold turkey. ADD water, rather than taking away sodas. You’re less likely to feel deprived, and more likely to stick with it. Make a pledge to drink a certain amount of water everyday. Make it less than you think you should be drinking. Work up to the right amount in a natural, gradual way. This goes for any diet or lifestyle changes. Slow and steady wins the race.

Start small. I’m a believer in underachieving when it comes to big changes. Better to make a very small change you can sustain, than to make grand attempts at sweeping change that will exhaust you, and leave you floundering, and feeling defeated after a very short period of time.

Your appetite is essentially like an unruly child. You wouldn’t expect that child to be a model student in a week. There are some deep issues that will need to be addressed. They will take time to address properly. Be patient with yourself. It took you a long time to get where you are, and it’s going to take time for you to make a major shift in your thinking and behavior. If you find yourself insisting on a particular food, and you start to feel anxiety rise up around the decision, you may want to go ahead and ‘give the baby what it wants.’ Don’t let yourself get unduly immersed in the back-and-forth of it all. Sometimes an unruly child just wants attention. Sometimes you need to placate them to get them to listen to reason. So feed the child, then sit him down and talk to him. Ask him why he wanted what he wanted, and figure out how you can help him to do better next time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAKEANDNELLIE 8/7/2010 10:24AM

    Wonderful insight to share! Thank you.
I'm sure they will work toward reaching their goals with you as their coach and mentor. I know this type of advice would have been invaluable to me when I first started this journey.
Stay positive,

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KARENE10 8/7/2010 9:01AM

    Good blog emoticon

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MOM2AEROKI 8/6/2010 10:13PM

    YES ... i call the anxiety you speak of food panic. and, when i give in to the "unruly child," i call it a french fry tantrum. lol. it's good to let them know the feelings/experiences they're about to have are not unusual. it's not just diet and exercise but an entire mind shift ... with many internal emotional battles. you win some; you lose some. it's the war we want to win....

i'm glad they sought you out to support and encourage them. wishing you all well on the journey.....

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TEENY_BIKINI 8/6/2010 9:36PM


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If Thy Key Lime Pie Offends Thee...Cut it Off?

Friday, July 23, 2010

Well, as some of you know, I've had a bit of a rough food week this week. It seems that no matter which way I went, there was some challenge jumping out of the bushes to meet me. I haven't had one of those weeks in a while.

I've had trouble estimating the portion sizes of some of the recipes I've made, so I flatlined for a few days. Then, I had to make use of the rest of the beef in the freezer before we go on a beef 'freeze'. Beef and my digestion system do not get along, so I inched up a bit midweek. THEN, I had a run-in with a slice of key lime pie yesterday. Let me be truthful -- TWO slices of key lime pie.

If you read my blog posts, you know that I try to allow myself one sweet treat a day. I've done pretty well regulating my calories. I just know to allow room at the end of the day for whatever I'm craving. Well, yesterday it was key lime pie. I had my slice, which actually sent me over my calorie limit some, but not much.

The problem was, I ate it while distracted. I scarfed it down in front of the computer, and didn't really take time to savor it. Next thing you know, I'm back in the kitchen picking off of the pie again. I got a sliver...then a chunk...then cut of half the piece. Then I decided I wanted the whole piece. So I kindly got myself out a plate and enjoyed the rest of the dastardly pie. That's really a move I haven't pulled out in months. I thought I was past those types of impulses. I may nibble occasionally -- but to just eat another whole slice of super-rich pie while repeatedly telling myself I would regret it later? I thought I had graduated from that class.

I want to move forward, not backward. I apologized to myself this morning, and stayed within my allotted calories today, but I can't help being disappointed with my total lack of self-control. I want to gain mastery of my impulses. I know it's not possible to gain victory in the area of weight loss until I can trust myself to make responsible decisions for my body.

I don't want to dwell on it. I don't want to eliminate key lime pie -- I'd just find another vice. I want to know the key lime pie will never control me.

I will continue to embrace the grace that allows me to run this race with consistency!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEENY_BIKINI 7/28/2010 9:29PM

    Don't be hard on yourself. You can do this. You learned something about yourself and that is cool. So now you can move a stronger and smarter, diva, and that is good stuff.

PS - pie rocks!


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    The key lime pie moments are why it's a journey and also why there will never be a magic pill - awareness is half the battle.

I thank you for the friend add and I've added you as well.

Keep rockin' the journey!


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JUANSGUERA 7/24/2010 1:17PM

    Sweet Lady, this is where you have to remember that even in the Bible it says, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." It was just a momentary weakness... Let it go... today is a new day, and a new chance to make good decisions... if you continue to batter yourself, its only going to pull you down, instead of lift you up... and we want you to be lifted to a new place in your life... not pulled back to where you stared or worse. And next time you can just say "NO." Or perhaps you might want to try those yogurts that taste like Key Lime pie and other such wonderfull treats, so you can have all the taste of your favorite desserts, with NONE of the GUILT!!!

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