Friday, November 06, 2009
I am doing an arts and crafts show tomorrow and I am stressed out and overwhelmed about it. I don't know what prices to charge on my stuff, I don't know how I am going to arrange my display, I still have a ton of last minute preparations to do and greeting cards to make. AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!
I am also worried that I'm not going to sell anything and my spirit will be crushed. I would appreciate if everyone would hold a good thought, say a prayer, or send me positive vibes!
Monday, November 02, 2009
After a few hours sleep I have been up the rest of the night on the computer and finishing another painting. I feel quite accomplished in getting so much artwork done, but I also feel I have lost the balance in my life which may be contributing to my insomnia.
I have good intent: to keep the house clean, to provide a goo meal for my husband every day, to exercise, to lose weight, to be healthier, etc. but I think I am really undermining myself with worry.
I have two craft shows coming up this weekend and next. I have put a lot of time and money into the things I am going to sell. I worry about what I have to sell, I worry about a good set-up and display without investing more money, I worry if I am going to sell anything. All this worry keeps me awake at night despite industrail strength sleeping pills. The insomnia leads to more migraines and getting a shot that knocks me and the migraine out so I lose a day that I could be doing productive things. It's all a very vicious circle.
I try to relax with baths, soothing music, etc. but I never seem to be able to shut off my brain. In the meantime healthy things like prayer, exercise and good diet, and enough sleep fall by the wayside.
There has got to be a way to restore balance into my life. I know one way is to let go and let God, but it's so much easier said than done.
Hopefully these craft shows will be a success but I need to regain my sanity before then.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I wish I could report that I am losing weight like crazy but I may have gained back what I've lost. I will keep trying. I have had a migraine all week so I haven't exercised a lick.
Here in the Denver area it has been doing nothing but snowing since Tuesday night. That's also when I started my new painting, which is aptly titled Angel of Winter. It has been helpful to be painting because I feel my depression may be coming back and painting keeps my mind occupied.
I am going to do all four seasons, and I guess since it's officially autumn I'll do that one next. I don't have much to say so I may as well get the next painting started.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
I finished it and it's great! My "Guardian Angel of Sleep" painting is done. Unfortunately, the photo doesn't do the painting justice.
I am just so happy that I am continuing to be creative on a daily basis. It makes me feel alive.
Of course, I realize that my purpose in life is to love and be loved, to deliver my message of salvation, and live my life according to God's will.
I really feel blessed. For so long I had felt undeserving, useless, misguided, depressed and had so many other bad feelings. Now I feel my life has purpose. Now I feel that I have great worth, that I am deserving, and that I love myself. There is no greater feeling than self-love. Now I can be a good wife and love my husband with all my heart simply because I now accept myself, which allows me to accept him.
And then there's the painting...
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