Saturday, August 25, 2012
Well its been 28 days. I still love sparkpeople. I'm down 13 lbs and feeling good. It has worked out so much better for me to be living rather than dieting there is a reason that word starts with die. I cut out sugar items, not sugar in breads, fruit, yogurt etc, just candy, cookies, cake etc. I also dropped fried food, fast food, chips, hamburger and the like. Anything that made me feel like I was looking for more before I even finished what I had. It was like a drug I could not get enough, had to have a steady supply and went into withdrawals when I ran out. My body tells me right away now when I have a food that is a trigger, my blood Zings my head goes ahhhhhhhh and I start looking for seconds and if there is non I feel like I am starving until the next meal. That's a great clue that I need to add it to my "I don't need to eat that food any more list". I can't believe how well this has worked for me as I am doing it because I want to be healthy and eat right not just to lose weight. Don't get me wrong I want to lose weight but I think healthy first. I have been being too big for my britches though because I have stopped logging what I eat so my goal this week is to get back to tracking every day, every meal. I also stopped drinking water I know I need it but am having trouble following through. Goal two get back to at least 8 cups a day. Now the biggie I have not learned to like exercise and it's like pulling teeth just to dance with the kids for 10 minutes. I have no excuse where there is a will there is a way but my will has gone on vacation. I work 16 hours a day 7 days a week. I bought a gym package and told the people I did day care and would bring day care kids with me to there day care when I work out. I went to take two of the children with letters of permission from parents and they said "Oh no we can't take children that are not yours even with a letter of permission". What!! I didnt hide the fact the children I would be bringing to care were not mine why did they let me spend that much money for nothing? I have kids all the time there is not a time I can go to the gym without at least one child. Very frustrating that I had to pay two months in advance and got a sorry there is nothing they can do. (Sorry just venting) I know that is not an excuse not to walk or do some other form of exercise I'm just feeling lazy when it comes to that portion of my life change. Goal three get on the stick, exercise daily even if its only 10 or 15 minutes. I won't let my own head talk me out of what I know I need to do. I will keep you posted on my progress. Oh yeah. People I am so so bad at answering peoples post that they send to me and commenting on other peoples posts etc. I want to be encouraging to you and I am thankful for your support. I am not making it goal number 4 yet to get better at that. I truly get a blank when it comes to trying to do that. I have no clue what to say and I don't know how to put up those little pictures like other people put up like thumbs up, way to go etc. Please just bare with me hopefully with time I will be able to do that. I am rooting for everyone and know we can all succeed. So I just wanted you to know, I do care, I do read your posts and blogs, I think you are all wonderful and inspiring even if I don't say it like I should.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
I love the gym. I had a personal training session. Took me around to all the machines and showed me how much weight I was capable of doing and how many reps etc I should do. I thought erroneously that you should be able to do the reps with a burn and a little work. You should have to work at all the reps and have to really push to finish the last couple. See what I get for thinking. He also gave me some fun all over work outs with a twelve pound ball. That was the bomb. I had so much fun and worked my butt off (darn not literally). I can't wait to go again. I don't have a personal trainer after this but do have a concept of what to do besides watch other people exercise. Even though just watching some of the men work out was making me sweat. The only bump was that there scale said I weighed 9 lbs more than my scale at home. Heart attack. That's like starting over plus 5 lbs. Oh well at least I know what I way there at night with all my clothes and shoes on.
Monday, August 13, 2012
I finally joined a gym. I have put it off and put it off. One I don't like people looking at me because I am so big. Two I don't know how to use the machines. Three will I even have the time to go, and excuse after excuse. I went to 24 hour fitness and asked a lot of questions, looked around and said yes I can and Yes I will do this. I'm very excited to finally start an exercise program. I did a little walking here a little dancing there but this will be much better for me I think in the long run. My sister Janet joined with me and we can take our night kids to the child care there so we can work out 3 or 4 times a week. I have an orientation to get weighed, set goals and learn the machines tonight and then I will work out. I hope to take up Zumba soon as I saw it through the window and it looks fun. When I get down to 250 (61 lbs) I am going to start Tae Kwondo again. I WANT TO LIVE not just exist.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
I weigh 311 pounds today two weeks ago I decided to go on a diet and get this weight off. I have been reading peoples posts and blogs and they have been very inspiring to me. However, I have also read about falling off, bad days, giving up, and starting over. All things normal people do everyday on a diet.
Diet means : A regiment of eating and drinking sparingly as to reduce one's weight. Most of us add exercise to the diet in some way also.
A Diet has two ends 1) if you reach your goal weight and 2) if you quit dieting. Either way the diet is over and you go back to eating and drinking the way you did in the past and for most stop exercising.
The weight comes back and guess what we have to start a diet all over again.
Dieting is not fun it is stressful, time consuming, emotional and usually an awful experience. Why if it is so awful and does not seem to work do we keep doing it over and over again? Why don't we learn from our past experiences that diets don't work.
For me dieting is not a solution to my overweight problem anymore. I will never diet again.
Instead I choose to LIVE!!!!
Live means: to pursue a positive, satisfying existence, to enjoy life.
How can I live life to its fullest and still lose the weight I need to lose. I need to lose the weight or I will probably die from a complication of the weight like a heart attack or something.
In order to live and lose the weight I have to make hard decisions that will have to stay in effect for the rest of my life. I have to decide what I can LIVE without and what I can't or think I can't live without.
I need a balance to be happy right.
I need enough rope to LIVE with but not enough to hang myself.
Things I can LIVE without (means they will not be in my life so I can LIVE)
Fast Food - I used to eat fast food everyday. Yes, I mean every day, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day.
Sugar - This was my main staple. I would eat sugar more than any other food it was a food group all unto itself at the bottom of my pyramid, which means I ate it more than anything else daily.
Fried food - Loved it, but willing to go for a healthier way of cooking.
Hamburger - It's like a drug once I have a food like taco's, hamburgers, or spaghetti I can't quit I don't get full and I want more and more. I could eat 10 hamburger tacos at one sitting and be hungry 5 minutes later. However, if I exchange chicken for hamburger I can eat two small tacos and be full. Go figure, I don't understand it. so I'm willing to give it up.
Snacks - I have a hard time controlling portions or choosing wisely so unless I get some kind of low blood sugar ailment I will be giving up all snacking between my three meals a day. It only gets me in trouble.
Potato chips - I can't just eat one huge bag I can eat your bag too.
This is not a diet. I'm not giving up on these things to lose weight and then go right back to them I WANT to give them up to LIVE for life. Its my choice and it makes me happy to know I can LIVE without them.
Things I can't or think I can't live without
I don't think I could LIVE a positive, satisfying existence while enjoying life without these things and I want to keep them in my life.
Exercise - my body needs this to stay healthy and for me to LIVE.
Fruits and Vegetables - I need these everyday. They are not to be avoided like the plague. I have found so many new recipes to cook vegetables that taste great on sparkpeople that eating vegetables is no longer worse than getting teeth pulled.
Support - Not only do I need support but I want to be there for other people. We all need a shoulder to lean on and to hear words of wisdom that we just couldn't think of on our own.
Popcorn - I know what the heck? I'm just not willing to live without it right now, no apologies. I love it. I eat popcorn with butter when I go to the movie with my daughter every Sunday.
Going out to eat - I love it. It's comforting, I enjoy it and it's satisfying. I don't eat the things I can LIVE without while eating out.
Water - I don't like water but I will not give it up. I will drink water every day. I can't promise 8 glasses but I will drink. I want to LIVE!
Friends - I will get back in touch with my friends. I have been alone and hiding for so long. I will make more of an effort to get out, go out, get together and have fun. I will LIVE life not just watch it go by.
What do you choose?
I will LIVE one day at a time.
Saturday, August 04, 2012
Well today was my weigh in and I lost 6 lbs. It's a great start. I did not diet this week I lived one day at a time. I ate right most of the time and ate what I wanted at other times without getting carried away. I have been eating 3 meals a day with no snacking or sweets. After week one I still feel motivated and want to keep going. I have not ate perfect and I'm not beating myself up as its progress not perfection I am after. I was sick last week so did not exercise much at all. I have someone to walk with on Monday and am looking forward to the accountability of showing up for someone else where I might talk myself out of it. Tomorrow is grocery day and I will try to change up the foods I get as I don't want to get board with the food that is available and turn to something else that I really do not want to eat.
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