Sunday, December 11, 2011
Well, it's Monday again, and another weekend is gone, another weekend where I ate too much.
I had a pretty good week, but everytime when the weekend comes along, I fail miserably.
Saturday wasn't too bad actually, I had a good brekkie, didn't eat much even though we baked xmas cookies - well, I made 'snow pops' - which consists of a crumbed cake and cream cheese icing rolled into little balls and dipped in white chocolate. I only had two on satuday, and we had fajitas for dinner. It was so hot here this weekend which means I drank lots of water. Not too bad considering I could have eaten so much more.
Then I decided to go out for my day 2 for the Couch 25k, and at about 10 minute mark, I got the stitches so bad I couldnt even breathe, that was after my second lot of running. I had to carry on walking, which I did, but I walked home. So I only did about 2 minutes of running :( So disappointed at myself. I have been talking to a lot of people about running, it is so encouraging finding out that even my fittest friends could not run for more than 30 seconds at a time in the beginning. So I will persevere, probably carry on with week 1 for another week, until I am comfortable running for one minute straight. This is really hard but I am longing for the day it won't feel like a battle with my body. Because at the moment, it is mind x body. Unfit body is winning but not for long. Anyone has had the stitches while exercising? How do you overcome it?
.Yesterday we went for a picnic at the park, so we walked quite a bit, but for dinner I was unprepared, I made myself two cheese toasties (grilled sandwiches) and I ate about 8 cookies. EIGHT!! Gingerbread with M&M's decorations. EIGHT. E-I-G-H-T. Why????? I don't know, I just did. I knew exactly what I was doing too. This wasn't a case where I did it without realising it, I ate them because I could :( I often do this to myself, it's like I am possessed by this other me - being rebellious and not caring for it one bit. Until afterwards, of course, then it's just too late.
I am my worst enemy at the moment. I really need to win the battle with myself. I need to put an end of my own sabotage and be stronger. I still have no solution to the problem, but at least I am conscious of the situations and I am trying to change. SP is definitely an unending source of inspiration, so I am not giving up, one day, hopefully, things will 'click' in my brain and I will be one of you wonderful people who did it.
Thursday, December 08, 2011
Yesterday I was really trying to figure out how to START exercising.
I go for a walk here and there at lunch time when I am working, but nothing too hard because usually I am wearing my work clothes and high heels. The intentions are there, but the practical side of it is not that easy.
I finish work at 5.30pm, by the time I am home, 6pm - then I have to cook for the family (hubby, 3 kids), and I usually over eat too.. By the time it's all finished I am too tired to move, I dont do any exercise, and when I get up in the morning, I regret it, keep thinking I 'should have' gone for a walk at least and the cycle repeats.
But I have been browsing SP and it's hard not to get the motivation needed to do something about it. So I decided that I was gonna start, and yes, yesterday - even though tomorrow me and my sis in law plus a couple of friends are getting together to bake xmas cookies, even though it's xmas time and my mum and dad are arriving in Australia and I havent seem them in 2 years and we will have several family get togethers, and my mum will do all her delicious cooking. But I also realizes, that at least I am doing SOMETHING, even if I stuff up and eat a little more than I should.
So I got home from work, made dinner, dragged my brother out with me (cos he is trying to get fit too) and I explained hoe Couch 25k works. We thought 'how hard can it be to run for one minute straight?' - well, it was VERY hard. I am so unfit. The first minute run I was puffing a lot, had to walk in between. Second run, same. Third and fourth, I ran the whole minute without stopping :) And the last one I walked for a couple of second in between too. But you know what? I DID IT. It was hard, but I DID IT. I ran!!!! Even if it was very hard to keep up, even if I am unfit, I DID IT!! The sense of accomplishment afterwards was worth it. I know it was only day 1 - but I never expected the satisfaction that would come with overcoming myself and just going for it.
I am so excited about this, and I will definately carry on and improve my time, my breathing, my finess!! I will complete the program. I will run 5ks in the end :)))
Monday, October 10, 2011
We are moving in TWO sleeps!! Moving to another state, 2000kms away!
I have been busy because of it. I have been stressed because of it. I have had BAD eating days because of it. I have not walked because of it. Ugh.
We¡¦re finally all moved out of our rental and staying at some friend¡¦s place until Thursday when we go, that has been a great decision as we could just clean the house and leave it behind, instead of having our meals/sleeping there making mess as we tried to clean. So all Saturday and Sunday we literally scrubbed walls, floors, packed and lifted heavy boxes (it counts as exercise, right?) to the point I was so tired my whole body ached! I am still working full time (my last day today, yay), so I am TIRED! I am so looking forward to my day off tomorrow (well, we will still be finishing up everything before we move, and I will clean my friend¡¦s house for her, because I want to ƒº )
Yes it has been hectic and I have been conscious about the things I am eating meanwhile, even in the middle of the chaos. But, heck, I had awesome people dropping meals for us, we have been invited for dinner at friend¡¦s places (it¡¦s so hard to say good bye) and you know what? I have had the dessert and have had more than I should. But I am tired. I know it¡¦s just an excuse but I really am. I could have done things better than I did, I could have been more prepared but I wasn¡¦t. But you know what? That¡¦s ok. I am not getting off the wagon. I just had a little break. I still drank my water. I still planned and brought lunch to work every day. I am still conscious of what I am doing and not overdoing it as much as I would otherwise. And you know what else? I feel different. It¡¦s not like I am telling myself I am doing wrong, I know well when I am not eating as I should. But I have learnt to let the guilt go. There is always a new way, and all the little things I still did (water, vigorous cleaning, packing lunch for work) they count. Yes they do. If I had just ¡¥let go¡¦ completely, things would been much worse.
My point is: DO NOT LET GO! You had a bad day or ate something you shouldn¡¦t? There is always next time or tomorrow to KEEP GOING! Your body will thank you for it. It¡¦s ok to have a couple of bad days as long as you don¡¦t give up and carry on with this very difficult journey.
Sometimes I am not feeling that motivated and you know what helps? Reading the success stories here, reading the articles, sparking my way to motivation. I totally recommend it and swear by it. After reading a before and after story, I feel like I can do anything. Ordinary people like me that have overcome bad habits and live to tell the story ƒº
And guess what? For the first time in years I actually feel thirsty! I am going to fill out my water bottle now. But hey, don¡¦t forget, no one but us can do this. We CAN do this.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Boy oh boy!
Since my last blog I haven’t really lost any weight.
BUT I have been consistent and mindful of what I am eating. I have been trying to keep making healthy decisions even though sometimes I make poor ones. I get straight back up and start again. All the good decisions I have been making eventually will add up and hopefully the results will follow.
But since I started I have seen many changes already! I think the fact that we look at ourselves in the mirror everyday may blind us to the fact that there is change! It’s just had to notice these changes when you see it happening literally before your eyes! Ok, slowly, but yes, the changes are happening.
I had to clear my wardrobe out over the weekend, mainly because we are moving but it needed doing anyway. I was surprised to see I had to get rid of HALF of my clothes because they didn’t fit me. But guess what? They were not too small, they were TOO BIG! That means I have dropped a dress size already and am about to drop another one because the clothes I have left are already loose on me.
See, small changes, good decisions add up to big changes!
I have a long way to go. It’s always on the back of my mind that it could all be gone in a second, as it had in the past. You know, the ‘blow this, I have had a bad day anyway’, that turn into weeks and months of ‘I can’t be bothered, that chocolate bar sure looks yummy, even though I know full well I had lots and lots of other unhealthy foods today’.
This time I am making sure I am getting up straight after I fall EVERYTIME. I don’t care if I fall every day. I am back up again the same second I realise that the long term benefits of this struggle with myself are way more beneficial in every single aspect in my life, that falling is just part of the process, which for me, will be lifelong - I mean it the way I will always have to be mindful of what I eat, I don’t ever think I will be able to let go of my control over myself, who knows, I might be wrong…
So keep GOING! Get up when you fall!!!! There is only one way to go, and it’s FORWARD!
(By the way, being in Australia, we spell realise with a ‘s’ not a ‘z’ – I have not spelt it wrong! )
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I am having a good day so far! I weighed myself this morning and I lost 1 kg =)
I have gone over my calorie range pretty much everyday this week! But I am celebrating small victories. I have a huge problem with eating when no one is around, so when I went to the supermarket by myself and did not buy a chocolate bar, i was thrilled. I also have been drinking a lot of water lately (which also means I have been spending a lot of time in the toilet - I work as a receptionist so maybe that's not so ideal, lol)
So here is for small victories, baby steps, carrying on being on the wagon despite it all!
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