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Yearly Check up

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

It's that time again. Had to do bloodwork to check on all the stats.

Thyroid levels a little off but doc & I aren't surprised with me not having a thyroid and I have been on same level meds for almost 5 years. So, upping dose a bit. Will have to check levels in a few months to see if it is enough.

I suspect I will feel the impact in a few weeks (once meds have a chance to get in my system). Hoping some of the tiredness will go away. Know that I will always be limited to the energy the darn little pills supply.

Good news...blood sugars, hemoglobins and cholesterol are all great!

Blood pressure was slightly up but doc thinks part of thyroid being off. That is how we caught the Grave's to begin blood pressure was through the roof and making feel real funny.

Doc and I talked again about weight but said that it is great I have been at a steady weight all these years after the ablation. Would rather I was at a steady weight then yo-yoing. Suspects that upping the synthroid may spur a modest weight loss. We will see.

So, overall can't complain too much. Will keep on trying my best to make good food choices and increasing activity where I can. Hope this will improve as well with the dose increase. Hate having just enough energy to get through work and then crashing as soon as home.

Thank goodness I have a daughter and husband that both understand and try really hard to support me and not get upset when I crash. Still it is hard to not be able to get through a TV show or movie with them in the evenings. Barely have time to talk about school, homework and finish dinner.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DSBRIDE 2/6/2013 12:01PM

    My husband has no thyroid left and the meds play havoc with him so I know what you are going thru but it does get better and your body adjusts. Great work on the other tests and just keep on keeping on, ;) It's so nice when you have a supporting family to help you out.

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TIME2BLOOM4ME 2/6/2013 11:12AM


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Reconnecting with past people...good or not??? not sure

Sunday, February 03, 2013

So, while grocery shopping with daughter, we ran into people from our past.

10 years ago I left with my daughter from an abusive (more mental/emotional which was turning physical) marriage. My biggest heartache from the ending of that marriage was the friendship I had with one of my sisters-in-law (who was also married into the family) as well as the connection with her daughters.

The oldest was the first niece I had and the first to ever call me 'Aunt'. I loved her so much. The second / youngest was born within 6 months of my own daughter and I had so hoped the 2 would grow up as friends.

Leaving my then husband crushed all that. His brother didn't want his own family brought into the middle of the nastiness that was to be my divorce. I partially respect that but also hated that I felt he turned his back on his niece (my daughter).

My current husband, who has been my friend and rock for so many years now, staunchly believes that my former brother-in-law made his choice and should live with that choice forever.

I am not so sure. 10 years is a long time. Seeing my former sister-in-law with her daughters last night made my heart cry and sing at the same time. I have missed them so terribly.

I do fear the remaining portion of my former in-laws who still have so many problems and can be very hurtful/hateful people. Some legitimately have serious diagnosed mental health issues.

I was told last night that these 2 have cut themselves (and their girls) away from all that madness as well. I was told that our chance meeting would not be shared with any of those other family members.

We exchanged cell phone #'s and promised to try to get together once the spring comes. Ironically we leave within 1 mile of each other and our same aged daughters will end up in the same high school together. I have suspected this would ahppend and have feared that up til now. Now I am not sure if I should fear it.

Part of me wants to reconnect with these people because I have missed them so very dearly. Part of me is afraid of the unforseen (maybe not quite so unforseen since I know the other family members) consequences of the balance of the 'crazy' family. I have tried too hard to keep my own daughter protected from them.

I didn't want to hide this run in meeting from my current husband. I told him this morning. He was worried and upset as I thought he would be. Mainly he worries for my and our daughter's safety (mentally and emotionally more so than physically). Neither of us think we would have physical harm from these specific people.

I don't know. Part of me was so happy to see them and the eldest daughter remembered our formerly close relationship. She is now 20 and agreed that the balance of the family is 'nuts'. She and her mother said that if we could meet again that they would not share this information with any of them. They understood my fear and my protection of my daughter.

Do I trust it? I know how much I have grown and changed in the last 10 years. Should I give the benefit of the doubt here?

I don't want to alienate my husband. My daughter has indicated that she would like to get to know her cousins. I know this will not sit well with my husband. He only wants to protect her. He saw the mess we were both in from my ex-husband (her biological father). He helped save us and nurtured us both into the healthier state we are in now. He feels we were betrayed by my former brother-in-law. I am not so sure if I still feel that way.

I did initially...but as I have grown I can somewhat see his point of view to protect his own children and wife from the absolute disaster that was my divorce. I know this particular brother-in-law tended to be the one to always try to mend fences with his siblings and always felt blood was thicker than water. His wife indicated last night that in the past 10 years he finally realized that his siblings were all crazy and he got tired of being dumped on, disrepected and used.

Do I trust it? Is it worth the risk?

Is my husband being unreasonable? Too protective? Is he right?

I don't want to screw up our marriage over it.

Do I continue to broach the subject....I just don't know.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIME2BLOOM4ME 2/6/2013 11:27AM

    I wouldn't trust the family. I have found in my own toxic relationships from the past the family tends to stick together like birds. They were brought up, raised in a toxic environment, that is usually all they know.

If you hide the truth are you really being honest? What else would you hide from him? At least talk to your husband, tell him everything. Then after you talk decide if you both really want to open the door.

Do you want to endanger all the good things you have in your life right now by reaching back to the past?

Just some random ideas that might help??? emoticon

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not being a good tracker

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

This week has been hectic so far. Have almost all energy back and have been able to stop taking cold medicine....yay!

Project at work is very interesting but very busy and I have been a bad tracker becasue of it.

I will try harder today. Creating a new good habit is challenging but I know I can do it.


On the mend..thank goodness!

Monday, January 21, 2013

I guess all the sleeping helped. emoticon

Finally beginning to feel human again. Time to go back to the 'real world'.

One good thing about being to watch season 2 of The Walking Dead with my husband (when I was awake). Most time we have been in the same room for months (work opposite shifts). He is so sweet. He took time away from work (he has that kind of flexibiliy) to stay with me to be sure I was ok. He even re-watched episodes with me if I fell asleep.

Not too bad on the teenager front either. She is a great girl. She made sure things were getting cleaning her room! Amazing. She did tease me that I looked like the zombies on the show.

Big project at work so I am very glad to be on the mend. Don't have 100% energy but a least my head doesn't feel like it is going to explode any more....and I can breathe.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAW_OH 1/21/2013 9:52AM

    Glad to hear you are on the mend, what a sweet hubby you have!

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Hate Being Sick

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Being sick sucks!

Can't breathe, no energy... sleeping just about all day.

Don't care about anything right now...just feel miserable.

Will refocus once feeling better.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROL- 1/20/2013 6:33AM

    Hope you are feeling better soon.

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