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Been a long time gone.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

My last blog entry here was 3 years ago. That year, 2011, was eventful. The most outstanding event was the Bastrop County Complex wildfire in September. My home and over 1600 others were lost in the largest wildfire in Texas history.

I was home alone but with the help of a couple of volunteer firefighters who came to evacuate me I was able to save all 8 of our dogs. Horses, chickens and cats had to be left behind. Both horses survived, but only one of the cats that we know of. My "girls," the chickens, all perished.

With an outstanding response from the community we were able to clear enough debris to begin to resettle by the end of October. As we were under-insured, we opted to buy a used doublewide mobile home instead of rebuilding our big two story home. It was getting a bit much for me to keep clean, anyway. So we were back in our own place by the middle of November with no debt.

As we approached our first Christmas amidst the ashes of our landscape, Carl began his usual round of Santa Claus gigs and home improvement slowed to just what I could do by myself. Then we got news from Carl's brother in Arkansas- their 86 year old mother had fallen & was hospitalized. Carl had to cancel his appearance in the local Christmas parade so he could go to his mother. She died two days before Christmas.

Somewhere along the way I had developed a very sore shoulder which became worse as I worked around the property clearing debris left by the fire. After a few months of trying home remedies I gave up in Spring of 2012 & saw a doctor. I had a frozen shoulder.

A cortisone shot & a couple of months of physical therapy got me back to normal then my AFib started acting up more than usual....Oh, did I forget to mention I was diagnosed with AFib back in 2011..back before the fire. Hmm...well, to shorten the ramble, I'm now on Warfarin along with my BP and Cholesterol drugs.

Oh yeah, in all the turmoil I somehow gained a whole lot of weight and topped out around 152 in autumn of 2013. KMN!

So here I am again, back at the Spark. I've managed to diet and exercise my way back down to 138, but I don't want to stop now. I'm looking forward to a comfortably dull 2014.


Here We Go Again

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Another new year, a renewal of hope. Last year was a bust...went into deep depression about the middle of January and never came out of it. Wanted to lose a measly 10 pounds, but put on 10 instead. Now I need to lose 20 pounds. Sigh.

Efforts to improve marital relationship have also been a bust. "Date night" lasted less than a month. BUT...whoop-de-do...this year we gots da new 3D TV & really spent 2 evenings together watching "Avatar" in 3D. Ordered more movies from Amazon & I'm hopeful. LOL

Trying to work with SP, but access is difficult with all the New Year traffic.

Best part is; I'm still here.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


  Glad you did not give up. This year is your year!! You can do it.

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DAWNDMOORE40 1/4/2011 10:32AM

    I am proud of you for stepping up and deciding to not give up on you! God made us all with a purpose and he wants us to take care of our bodies! We are all here for you! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Starting "date night" with DH of 23 years?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Situation is pretty much unchanged since my last blog entry. My latest attempt to connect is trying to set up a "date night" with DH where we'll play Yahtzee ( or some other game) & share a take-out meal face to face at the dining table. We haven't done this for more years than I can remember. I hope to actually have a conversation without the TV, cell phone or a computer game being the focus of his attention.

I really do work at this, people. You wouldn't believe what lengths I went to trying to keep our sex life alive. Hardly believe it myself nowadays. LOL

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANCYLEE46 9/23/2010 2:36PM

    Sounds like a good plan.
Will have to go back and read some of your past blogs.

I do know TV, computers, and cell phones can take away valuable family time for us all.

Happy first day of Fall


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CJJANISS 9/23/2010 1:55PM

    Good for you!

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MERKDJM 9/23/2010 1:45PM

    Each day take those baby steps, it will make a difference.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Trying to get my spark back.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Since about the third week in January I've been in a deep depression. Part of me (about 25%) is really trying to dig out, part of me (another 25%) is patiently hopeful & waiting for it to pass, and the rest of me is for crawling into a hole and pulling it in after me.

I'd like to say that Sparkpeople is helping my efforts to dig out, but that would be a lie. Right off the bat, I always spin the lowest number on the Spark Wheel..confirmation that I'm a loser. Then, everyone is so positive and upbeat...there's no place for gloomy gus me in that crowd. Sigh.

On the other hand, I do keep coming back. I do try a few minutes of a workout, I read a few articles, I huddle with a couple of teams. It may feel boring and pointless, but maybe there's still a bit of a Spark within me that can be nurtured and brought back to brightness. Or maybe I'm just stubborn.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANLEEW 5/26/2010 11:34PM

    My brother takes an antidepressent, jogs, does Yoga 2 times a week, watches a few of his grandchildren for his kids. That is an all around approach. The mix is important. Physical activity does improve the situation. I think I spun low numbers on the wheel for at least 30 days straight. It's a number. Choose us, choose to move, choose well. We are here to help and support you.

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FITKAT2010 5/26/2010 6:18PM

    What I want to say may not seem good to you at this time. Maybe it will. So, please forgive me (or not), in advance. Here goes:

Being perpetually in depression could mean a couple of things. I would start eating whole foods (which I do) and see if it is nutritional in part. Then, I'd force myself to do cardio every day and S/T a couple of times a week. You may need an endorphin high. Are you on any meds for this? If so, have them checked by your doctor. Did an incident happen prior to your bout that you are hanging on to and beating yourself up over? If so, I'd recommend you let it go. When you were growing up did one of your parents exhibit depression as a way to cope with life? If so you may be following in their footsteps. Your choice.

Only you can pull yourself out of this. Everyone is actually depressed most of the time. Look at all our addictions: food, drugs, cigarettes, people-yes relationships!, spending money, gambling, and the list continues.

True happiness is difficult to acquire from something outside you. However, it can be experienced. We must let go of the reasons for the depression. One of the main reasons is because we simply are feeling sorry for ourselves.

There you have my ten cents worth.

If you want, SparkMail me.


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TRACKMOMMA22 5/26/2010 5:06PM

  The first step is to keep coming back. I know how you feel. I've struggled with depression many times over. I hate how dark the world feels when I'm that way. Gather your friends & family around you. Let them & us sparkfriends uplift you. Remember that as long as you are trying you are not a loser. It's only when you quit that you become that. If all else fails might I suggest a trip to the doctor to discuss your depression if you haven't already. Keep it up! I know you can do it!

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Hoppy New Year?

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Wanting to start 2010 on the right foot, so to speak, I signed up for the new bootcamp challenge thingy. Must say, if I were a person who thought exercise videos HAD to be followed exactly I would have dropped out about 3 minutes into the 10 minute routine. I haven't seen so much hopping since the 1952 Double Dutch championship of 4th grade! I didn't win that challenge, either.


Fortunately, over the years I've developed a "do what you can, the best you can" attitude and did a few hops & a lot of steps so I've survived the physical part of day 1. Jury is still out on the blogging/keeping a record part.

I'm starting at 137 pounds & still aiming for that 130 I wanted to have by Christmas. Sigh

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAREJIL 1/13/2010 9:03AM

    How are you doing with it?? It is 13 days later.........I cant beleive that I forgot all about blogging, saw your comments and you were speaking the exact same thing as I was thinking about myself.....I have come to the conclusion that something is better than nothing, how can it be lame, when it is your own thoughts??? Blog on girl!! emoticon

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MITECU 1/3/2010 8:18AM

    Way to go! You completed the first video!. I had problems with the hopping too - high impact on my knees. So when she was hopping, I jogged in place. My heart was pumping just as hard as if I was hopping.
Don't worry, tomorrow's video will be a strength training.

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