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Reflections!!

Friday, April 17, 2009

I haven't blogged in a long time so I had to get back into practice.


I was sitting here looking at the date I stated with SP and I realized I am no where near my goal. A first I was a little discouraged. I felt like maybe I am going to be a big girl all of my life. How do I do so well for 6 months and then go down hill. What's wrong with me. After I got pass all of the negativity, I thought to myself. You can do this, you have done it before. I have to get my butt back in gear and get it DONE. I said I will tell myself everyday, "You are a DONE girl , you can do this."


I have a cousin/sister(my aunt raised me so we are sisters and cousins) who is also on SP, NURSETERRY1, and she is doing so good. I am so proud of her, but I was kinda sad. She has lost so much weight she gave me some cloths. I was always smaller than her so I felt discouraged at first. Then I thought about it, if she can do it, so can I!! Now I look at how far she has come ad I know I can do it. She fell off before an she got back on track. One day we will be able to share cloths instead of her giving me the ones that are too big for her!!! emoticon

Have a great day and a wonderful weekend!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAGNIFATIC 4/18/2009 9:01PM

    That is right, pick yourself up. It is ok to get down sometimes, but don't stay down. Get up brush yourself off and keep on moving. Allow seeing your cousin to be a motivator and try not to degrade yourself for what you have not done. Talk positive things to yourself and look at yourself everyday and see yourself the way you want to look. The first change starts in your mind. Your sparksisters are here for you. Stay DONE!!!!

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Valentine's Day

Thursday, February 12, 2009



OK, so every year some of us single people don't really care about Valentine's day because we don't have that "special someone" of the opposite sex to spend it with. I thought about it, this is a day you spend with someone you love. So, this Valentines Day I am spending it with someone I love, my daughter emoticon Sure, there have been many days I have wanted to wrap my hands around her neck(too many to count), but I can't imagine life without her. She is my true love emoticon She stole my heart the first time I laid eyes on her and I have loved her every since.

When my daughter suffered her closed head injury at 6 months the drs told me if she survived, don't look for her to be able to do too much. They even asked me did I still want her emoticonI guess the crazy look in my face gave them my answer. I prayed and begged god to save her so I could love her like he wanted me to. Well he answered my prayers and I have been loving her more everyday, if that's possible. People say she is spoiled rotten because she wants to stay with my at all time, I just tell them god gave her to me to love and that's what i'm doing.

So because of this my daughter is my special Valentine this weekend. Along with the valentines I sent for the other kids, I sent a special bag for my daughter. I put her a t-shirt saying"I am loved", and other goodies. I also put a card in there and a little note asking her teacher to read it to her. Even though she is 14 and may not understand what the card says, I still will tell her how much she is loved. We also have hair appointments early saturday and we are going out for lunch. She likes Red Lobster and Olive Garden (expensive taste I know!!!) so we will go to one of the two. I know I will blow my calories, but this day I won't mind. After lunch we are headed to the mall to find her a new outfit.

I am so excited about our special day and I am going to make sure to have these more often. I hope everyone has a beautiful weekend and spend the day with someone special, I know I will!!! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATSKB 2/15/2009 12:31PM

    That is a wonderful blog. It is so true it doesn't have to be someone of the opposite sex just someone you love or care about. Well written and a wonderful blog. Thanks for sharing.



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FLYINGTOFREEDOM 2/13/2009 11:25AM

    wow your blog really moved me. I, too spoil my girls because they are my life and pride and joy. I can't imagine my life without them. People often tell me that we spend too much time with them, but my thinking is, God gave me these special gifts why wouldn't I want to be around them? Me and my dh go out 2-3 x a year and that is it. That is all we need. We spend the rest of our time with our girls. My thinking also is that they won't want to spend time with us when they are older, why not enjoy them when they are young. I see so many of my single friends who give their kids up to babysitters every weekend so that they can go out and drink and meet men. It always bugs me, weekends are my time to spend the most time with my kids. For valentines day me and dh are going out tonight the 13th so that we can spend the holiday with our girls making heart shaped cookies and eating pizza and such. I'm so glad someone else revels in their children.
thank you.

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-LORI-B 2/13/2009 1:34AM

    Your daughter is a very lucky girl to have you as her mom. She will always remember the special outtings she had with mom.
Have a blessed day.
Hugs

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CUDDY521 2/13/2009 1:07AM

    Have a wonderful Valentine`s Day with your daughter!! emoticon

I`ll be with my daughter also, its my Birthday!! emoticon

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NURSE333 2/12/2009 3:59PM

    That is so very sweet, give her an extra hug and kiss emoticon

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~*BROKENWINGS*~ 2/12/2009 2:15PM

    *tear*

That is so sweet. I wish there were more mothers like you.

I hope you and your daughter have the best valentines day ever!

emoticon

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LITTLE_QUEEN 2/12/2009 11:50AM

    That is so precious, and though I am not single, I spend quite a bit of time with my daughter, She is my heart and has multiple mental health dx.
I already have her present ready, She is a little diva in traning.

You 2 enjoy yourself, and give your daughter a special hug from me.

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MAGNIFATIC 2/12/2009 11:20AM

    This sounds wonderful!!! Who said you had to spend Valentine's Day with the opposite sex? It is a day of love for the one you love. Have a great day! emoticon

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BECKYWILL 2/12/2009 11:17AM

    Thank you! Your blog made me get over my own pity party about being alone this V-day and realize it's about spending time with those that I love!

Your daughter is very lucky to have a mother like you!! I wish you the best Valentine's Day ever!!
emoticon

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CHILEX3 2/12/2009 11:13AM

  It will be a VERY SPECIAL Valentines Day for you both because it will be filled with a love that is a pure love and because it will be celebrated in the true meaning of Valentines--not just giving someone something on that day because that's what's expected of you. How very lucky your daughter is and how lucky you are to have such a 'special" child in your life.

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SMILIEONE 2/12/2009 11:12AM

    That is wonderful. i am sharing part of my vday with my son and the other part with the women of my singles ministry.

I feel wonderful about vday. It is a time to spend with those you love. It doesnt have to be the opposite sex. Ive had many vday with significant others of the past so no lost here.

Enjoy your day with your daughter. emoticon

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BLACKANDI 2/12/2009 10:49AM

    This is so sweet! Enjoy her and your time with her! Happy V-Day!

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TERSIEFROG 2/12/2009 10:15AM

    That is beautiful! I'm so glad you're sharing your Valentine love with your daughter. And I'm sure she knows how much she is loved each and every day!

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HALIBRIDE 2/12/2009 10:13AM

    Your daughter is going to have such a great day with you, and it will mean so much more to both of you than the commercialized version of Valentine's Day that many of us celebrate with our significant other.

Your blog post definitely touched my heart.

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ONE_AT_A_TIME 2/12/2009 10:13AM

    I think that is a wonderful idea, more people in the world should think like you. People focus to much on Valentines day being only for coupples. I think that it is all about celebrating love, all kinds of love for all kinds of people. I hope you and your daughter have a great time on your special day.

emoticon

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SUNNIRIPPLES 2/12/2009 10:11AM

    What a wonderful way to spend Valentine's Day! Nothing is more important than a child knowing that she is loved.

Many emoticon and blessings for you and your daughter. Enjoy your day together.

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UNVEILINGME 2/12/2009 10:11AM

    BEAUTIFUL!!

And truly touching. I also am spending this Valentines's Day with my child, daddy has to work away. We are making cookies and delivering them to cousins and neighbors and friends to share our love. Thank you for sharing!

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SARAHABROAD 2/12/2009 10:03AM

    Your 'blog just brought tears to my eyes. Your daughter is so lucky to have a mom who has so much love to give. I have a huge urge to reach right through the ether and hug you.

I know you've had some tough times these past few months and I am so proud to see you so strong and shining through.

And I am so grateful to you for reminding me to focus on the love this Valentine's Day and not the chocolate or the cards. But on finding ways to say "I love you" to the people that are special to us.

I know you and your daughter will have a magical day.

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Cheery Cherry Blossom

Saturday, February 07, 2009





This is going to be a great month. It is not good today, but I know it will get better. I am a Cheery Cherry Blossom on the DONE girl team. I am going to do great!!! I have set a goal to loose 10lbs this month. I know I can do it!!


My daughter destroyed my downstairs while I was asleep today and I started to just look for food for comfort, but I didn't. I actually did bad because I didn't eat breakfast, but I will try and balance it out. SHe had her chips and cheetos all over my living room floor. She also broke a mirror that I had just brought. I found it on sale for $140 and I don't want to just throw it away. My best friend suggested that maybe I can find some place that could make me the little piece that my daughter broke.(it is a big mirror with a lot of little mirrors on it) I was going to stay in the house all day because I was so angry, but my best friend cheered me up and made me see that it is material and to be happy that my daughter didn't hurt herself. So now I am on my journey to have a good day.


How could I not have a good day, I'm a Cheery CHerry Blossom!!!! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SARAHABROAD 2/7/2009 1:04PM

    I'm so proud of you and your conscious decision not to turn to food and to get out of the house (which is underrated as a stress beater)! I know things like this are frustrating and you've done all the right things to deal with it.

10 pounds in a month is completely doable.

You will keep blossoming! Go for it.

x
Sarah

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REDISCOVERINGME 2/7/2009 12:28PM

    It is amazing to see you grow and change and to start to handle things differently!
You can do 10lbs!

Go Cheery Cherry Blossom! And, you are blossoming!



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Feels Good

Sunday, February 01, 2009

It feels so good when you don't worry about things and people you can't change. I have noticed that since I have started doing this I don't feel like I have so much on my shoulders. Everyday I am getting stronger and stronger. Itf Feels so good!!! emoticon I am taking my butt back to the gym for the first time in a while. I am so worth this. I am glad I am finally seeing this.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REDISCOVERINGME 2/3/2009 4:50AM

    I am so happy for you!

Yay! emoticon

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2008LYNN 2/1/2009 2:28PM

  What a wonderful thing to learn. Less stress, fewer arguments, it's wonderful.

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I figured it out!! I finally figured it out!!!

Saturday, January 17, 2009


I have been trying for as long as I can remember to understand what I really needed from the opposite sex in a relationship. Well today I finally figured it out!!


I have been on my own since I was around 14 yrs old or so. Since then I have been the only person I can rely on. Since I have been an adult and dating, I can only remember one relationship that I was truly happy. That was from 2000-2002. This person took the relief of a stressful life off of my shoulders by the simplest things. We never argued or fought we just met at the wrong time in life. I could never put my finger on what would truly make me happy until I thought about this. A simple thing like seeing my garbage and taking it to the dumpster meant one less thing in my day that I had to do. When I had to work on Saturdays and my daughters dad had to work also, he would pick her up from her dad and keep her for a couple of hours until I was off. One less thing I had to worry about. If I was off really late he would cook dinner or if he knew I was tired he would get up with my daughter or let me take a nap. Although we are not together we are still great friends. He said that I use to argue with her dad because he didn't do as much and that hurt him because he thought he was helping. He didn't know how to explain it so he just said it was time to break up. He was a lot younger , 24 and I was 29, so he said back then he didn't know how to explain it. He met someone and his now wife got pregnant and they got married.

That relationship taught me what I want/need from a relationship. I was never able to figure it out or should I say put it into words until today. After my Dr's. appointment Wednesday I had to really put some things in order in my life. I thought about how if something happens to me my daughter has no one. I will have to take care of my daughter for the rest of her life. So I have to get healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally. She needs me for everything right now right down to feeding , changing diapers, and putting her cloths on. We are going to make this the best life!!! If a person isn't in my life to make it better than you don't need to be here. I have suffered enough in my life, it's time for me and my princess to enjoy life. I think I have held on to certain people in my life because it was convenient and familiar. It's 2009, baby look out Princess Darian and I are on a mission!!! emoticon emoticon


AS always thank you for taking the time to read my little rants. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLYINGTOFREEDOM 1/22/2009 11:35AM

    I hope your year is everything you want it to be.
Alethea

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REDISCOVERINGME 1/18/2009 5:10PM

    I am so happy for you! Getting clear on this is wonderful. You deserve the best in life. Your page is looking amazing and you are doing so well. emoticon

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YANSKA 1/18/2009 8:07AM

    No - this is no "little rant," but a huge moment of self-discovery, and you are sharing it with others. That's a big deal! :) Some people will read this and relate to it and recognize their own moments of self-awareness, and others might read it and say "hmm, she's got it going on, and she's facing reality and moving on in a positive, powerful way - maybe I can do that too!" Either way you're putting yourself out there and helping others, and it's a great thing.

Good for you for figuring out what you need in a relationship! This will help you weed out the knuckleheads in the future, and it will spare you and your daughter some wasted time and headaches I'm sure. You're on your way to reaching a lot of your goals, it seems! Rock ON!!!

Anna
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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QUEENT5000 1/18/2009 7:35AM

    Self discovery is an amazing thing. Now that you have done that, you will see many things that use to stress you go away, and deal with what is really important in an orderly way. That alone, will help you drop the weight. I have learned to LOVE ME SOME ME...Now I'm a much better mother, sister daughter and person. And It feels real good.

You are able to do whatever you choose to do in life. There are NO limitations to your accomplishments. God Bless you and your beutiful Daughter.

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SARAHABROAD 1/18/2009 3:52AM

    You are an amazing and giving Mom. And OF COURSE you deserve to be with someone who can work with you in your life and give to you, not just take. And knowing that you deserve to be treated that way--as a recipient of love, generosity and silly little things like taking out the trash--is the first step to being treated that way, by yourself (getting healthy, making time to exercise, etc) and by others.

x
Sarah

PS Who is the artist in that amazing painting at the top of your 'blog? I found it incredibly moving.


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**EVA** 1/17/2009 10:35PM

  You're not really ranting. You're discovering, piece by piece. I see progress and you're really just moving forward. Wonderful. I'm glad "happiness" is no longer your primary goal. I think your "healthy" goal is a much better one. Go get 'em.

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