Saturday, January 15, 2011
I was always the fat kid. I do not know when it started, but looking back, I just always remember being bigger than the other kids. I remember trying my best friends clothes on when I was 11, I barely could get her shirt over my head and don't even get me started on the pants! Middle school and high school were not any better. I was always the big girl. I was well liked, but was always self conscious of my size. I would never talk to boys smaller than me, in high school that was most boys. I remember a boy saying if I actually lost weight he would date me. Needless to say, I didn't loose weight and we never dated. I didn't know how to loose weight. I tried eating like my friends, realizing they were able to eat anything and everything and not gain an ounce. I envied them, thinking why I had to be in this body. College quickly gain and the freshman 15 became the freshman 30. It was not until my senior year that I actually lost weight. It took a semester in Florida, fun in the sun, for me to drop 50 pounds. But of course, not knowing why I lost it, I quickly gained it back. Fast forward to getting married and having two beautiful children, I was over 300 pounds. My mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, instead of loosing, I just gained. Before she died she asked me to get healthy, after her death, I went the opposite direction, ate out of grief.
One morning, after crying myself to sleep, I felt different. I was no longer sad, I was happy. I was happy that I had my mother and was able to share time with her. I was thankful that she stuck by me through thick and thin, no matter what. Being a single mother is difficult and she never gave up. I was happy that morning and decided it was going to be the first day of my new life. March 3rd, 2010 I was 320 pounds. I started working with a program at my local hospital, started working out regularly and getting my mind right about loosing my mother. I started to appreciate life, I was thankful for being alive and waking up every morning. I always thought I would be the fat kid, never having a chance to be healthy. Today I weigh in at 184 and have been here for the last 3 months.
Through my life I have realized that you are not destined to be one way or another, you can be anything you want. Just because you were born into a certain family, does not mean you have to go down that same road. You make your own decisions in life. Forever I was allowing my situation to dictate who I was. Now, I make positive situations everywhere I go. I make good things happen, for me!
If you were ever that person who thought you couldn't do it, remember that I was once there too. I did it and I am still doing it. You can do anything you set your mind to, believe and you will achieve.