Saturday, March 10, 2012
I really really disappeared there for a bit,
Not just on sparkpeople and facebk but also in the actual real world... it would be far more exciting to imagine that some wild experiment in the lab went terribly wrong causing me to vanish and thus I was forced to wrap myself in bandages to make myself visible... disappointly enough for my dramatic sensiblities... this was not the case.
I dropped off the radar in both the real and virtual worlds to burrow my way into a thesis writing cave. blah blah...wrote loads...rewrote...delete delete....rewrite....less sleep...less exercise BUT surprisingly... NO BINGE EATING!
I couldn't believe it BUT the SP lessons really stay in your brain!
I mean ya I was excercising a lot less so I wasn't actually losing weight but I managed to maintain...not just in my thesis cave...BUT over XMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOWEVER..... now I am unemployed, job searching (i.e. watching ellen/ANTM reruns/Dr.Phil and occasionally googling jobs...) . SO I am way more prone to crazy binges (giant toblerone, bread, cereal-by-the-box, chocolatechocolatechocolate). Though I do have significantly more time to exercise, and I am, like crazy, to the point of exhaustion, therefore still maintaining weight which therefore leads to me being able to rationalise binges......SO this method is not exactly genius....
I am back and ready to get my SP magic balance!!!
I must get used to blogging again...
Finally I would like to really, sincerely apologise to my SP friends that I abandoned during my absence. Supporting you guys on SP meant a lot to me and I am genuinely ashamed if I let any of you down by leaving. I hope you will forgive me, though from what I have seen since I've been back, not one of you has lost your spark FIRE!!!
loads of love
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
OH MY GOSSSHH!
the above is a summary of my reaction to seeing 149.2 on my mortal enemy (the scale’s) face this morning on maaah threee month SPARKAVERSARY! WOOT WOOT
SO let’s play the numbers game…This brings my total weight loss to………
19lbs!! but mainly…I’m back in the 140s!!! I haven’t seen that number in a LOooooOOOoong time. Wayhey!
Waist: 5.5 gone
Hips: 7 gone (was a bit wowed by that one gotta say…but I have plenty to spare around there!)
Muh thighs: 3.5 disappeared
Upper arm: 1.5 away!!
I can fit perfectly back in to the navy freepeople lacy hookneyetie dress WOOOO
Me jeans be loose (but thankfully still wearable with multiple belts cos I ain’t gotz no monies for the new ones )
I can now zip up the fancy half backless LBD (still a bit conscious on the tum tum so keeping that as a motivational dressy).
I can zip up the gothy ballerina LBD (again tum gazing so still motivational)
I can lovingly gaze at the upcycled coolerthancool Cambridge dress (still afraid to try it on…) but can actually imagine myself wearing it YAY!
I had to put an extra hole in two of my vintage men’s belts I wear around my waisty yup WOOOOO!
(OK for anyone who knows it, I am currently singing ‘Witness the fitness’ by Roots Manuva in my headbrain Yup yup well motivational!!! LOL… yumz ! and if you don’t know it WATCH IT http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDWgtB_MD24 it is Hi-Lar-I-OUS! Laaandan kid!
OK so with that in mind :P
I have walked/ran/stumbled 416.88 miles since I started trackin mahmilez
Moved mah booty in an exercisey fashion for 8,532 minutes
I have burned…weight for it (ha ha I am soooo funny…uch) 31,662 calories! (I find that one a wee teensy bit abstracty mind boggley…movin on…)
Can run faster – I can walk + run = wun an 11 minute mile for a hour (I don’t have a pedometer so this is SP maths).
I heart skipping – short interval skipping for around 40 minmins (inspired by coach Nicole’s skippin vid) while watchin the telly and havin sweat drip in my eyes, but I found a head scarf usable as a sweat band t’other day so WOOO! Lol.
Oh I’ve totalley-cat gotten back to thuh strong lady weights lifting and ST, don’t really know how to gauge that coz I only have a 4kg but its getting plus facile and I do more reps and crunches don’t make me wanna die and end the agony! So Woo bonus!!
Ermm what else… the complimento metre?? I’m not so sure it’s noticeable yet, well I notice, but my mates/colleagues/family wouldn’t be the most…but there’s a hand full which I have been hoarding like Gollum:
My auntie asked me was I a size 8 (that’s US 6 I fink…) I’m not (Obv!)but since she used to work high end boutiqary and was giving me her old vintage duds it was a major complement!
My darling dear dearest Spanish friend Ishmael was bemoaning the fact that he thought my face was getting slimmer and that I must be working too hard. I heart him.
And my beautiful friend Zoe said I looked amazing on sat night (this may have been due to my enormous curlyed out hair distorting the proportions of my body to produce a mystifying and deceptional effect…but puck it! I’ll take it!
But whatever about what anyone else thinks I FEEL MORE CONFIDENT! To me that is the major achievement of the past 3 months (oh and errr I cook every night, thesis is being writtencorrectedReCorrected etcetc vegeruits so on so on 6000 glasses on water an hour). I feel better about myself now, I prefer how I look and I like how clothes are fitting me and I walk confidently with my head up now, AND if that sounds shallow to gach duine on the outside THEN CALL ME A PUDDLE!!
Thank you for listening you are all absolute rockstars XXXL (extra extra extra LOVE)
Monday, July 18, 2011
So so so how does it go?
After a day of munching chocolate covered noms et nommy noms, typing and un-typing thesis lalalalala UH! deletedeletedelete, stalking 'creativegreed' and waaaaaaaay toooo much Bipling ( 4give if you sense an unconscious hommage in my 'voice' O my dayz indeed)..... I am currently basking in my residual 'skinny delusions' before tomorrow mornings 'weighty issues' weigh-in (in fairness it has been....ummm 2 weeks since i've weighed...and it has been dicey riley at times...but more of that to follow..)
HowNeva! my skinnyimaginarium!
Feeling creatively inspired (due to the productivity of my online procrastination stations cet apres midi I am playing with my clothes. I revelled in my fool the brain skinnimini pretend (induced for any1 who's unaware------or even reading this----by not weighing myself..wonderously fun working out...and being happygolucky(er) easy(er-ish) with the eats/drinkz...) by wearing my skinny jeans (i.e. the cut not the aspiration) of which their current bagginess renders this label a misnomer, and cool as camden pocket top with big ol'runners and messy messy hair...yums.
So the mission- CHUCK OUT OLD CLOTHES!! to give you an idea, I have a part magpie (mmmm sparkley vintage/charity shop/antique clothes) part stone cold broke (tescos, ummm...charity shop (the more depressing kind) and ill fitting handmedowns-tradeoffs, salecrapwhyindaHelveticaDidibuythis???labe
lStillONCraptolio) So there is A LOT TO CHucK...
Meanwhile I throw around remaining clothes into interesting outfits that i can sit in my teeeny tiny office this wee(a)k feeling 'different' and 'unique' and 'not a scientist' and 'can afford nEW stuff' (I can have skinny delusions, so why not be completely delusional???YOPYOP
Little dresses, work boots, big wide mans belt (great, wrap it around ur waist a few laps and u feel itsy bitsy way hey!) grungey t-shirts avec florality big ol' necklaceys and odd earrings fabbydabbydoohdaaaaa
ALLLLL of this is terribly fabulous and Very Distracting from weigh in Mo(u)rning.... All has not been wonderful
I have not been bummed out by the scale in two weeks!! Huzzah
without the scale to chase me I have gone over my calories A LOT TOOOOO much!!
BUT this has made me mellow out when I do go over... and not do a shameysad face
Zere can be such a thing as to mellow Miss Yellow... as in not caring... as in GAIN GAINGAIN...eek
I've been supertrooper workin OUT!! I run faster,longer,stronger (although attempted sandybeachstream-leap last run ended badly and I'm convinced proximal sheep and bunnies were laughing at me....not cool dudes).
NO ONE HAS NOTICED!!!! Are ya kiddin me? lousy, ok 14 pounds give or take is not that much but STILL, thats cold
I'm tired ALOT and that makes me sooooo freakin hungry!!
This weigh in could be what I need (oddly enough) to spur me on and get back on track (mixing metaphors...)
Or...I'ma climb in a vending machine and eat my way out...
OK it iz time 4 me to cook some ricenbeans and my spine is OW from sitting like a camel over computio SO wish me luck in the morning, if you don't see my weight ticker change assume I'm climbing candy mountain.
Thursday, July 07, 2011
Phew, here goes: undertaking scale avoidance.
A break up if you will from the snarky little gadget that has both praised and smack talked me in the past two months. Clearly I should have no trouble avoiding this meano-little device, who, by the way I have NEVER criticised for HIS weight (come on lets face it weigh scales are guys, they never know the right thing to say!!…) nope, I did not say a word, not even when I had to lug the husky fella across town back to my house…
Yeah it shouldn’t be difficult to stay wide of this joker, I definitely had no probs avoiding him during my denial phase! I always had the opinion that people who weighed themselves were crazy to believe so much in a constantly fluctuating number. OK so in fairness I’ve definitely, by my own definition gone cuckoobananas for the lbs in the last 2 months…
But here are my reasons for a two week ban on weigho-blamo-hateo
It IS just a number; it WILL go up and down! The second before I step on the scale I feel all slim and confident, he shouldn’t be able to take away that confidence just by giving me the stink-eye…
Weighing myself makes me forget the bigger better achievements, like holding planks, climbing cliff hikes, swimming the icy Atlantic just because I’d regret it if I didn’t, realising I have WILLPOWER!!! I can make good decisions! YAY!
It wastes a big fat portion of my day when a weigh in doesn’t go my way, I spend the whole day searching articles (Am I convinced reading articles about plateaus promotes weight loss?? Why yeeeessss yes I am…) and over analysing (both the Freudian and nutritional schools of analysis, ‘Am I eating this because I got lost in the supermarket when I was five or because it is sugary deliciousness?’)every morsel of food I see!!
It makes me forget to listen to and notice my body! I am not just a sum of parts that equals a quantity of pounds!!! I’m smart, my body is smart and we can work this out without depending on the scale, mind just needs to talk to body!
I swear the weigh scales ACTUALLY makes baggy clothes feel tight! It’s an amazing feat of physics, yup, no lie, my body will actually swell to porcine proportions based on a number on a screen (note: this is specific to scale numbers, i.e. telephone numbers don’t make me whale up…yet).
I like my slim skinny mini delusions! It’s great! I feel bags more confident when I’m convinced that a workout just blasted off 40 pounds and when I meet my skinny friends, well they must be just awed and dazzled! (deep down, waaay down) at the sight of this ethereal waif before them (HA! Waif I do not aspire to, I’d prefer the toned-could-be-an-extra-on-true-blood-a$$-
kickin-rockstar but ya get me)
And last but not least, naturally I hope to see a MAAA-HAA- HUU-SIVE difference in the digits in two weeks time when I weigh in again! (Yeah yeah I know this in some way negates what I’ve said above, but I’m being honest with myself (and you) and I am still a scale addict at this stage…)
SO here’s the plan….
Hide the scales!
Keep tracking nutrition (1300-1500, beer/wine slip-ups are cool within reason) and exercise (6 cardio sessions, 3-4ST per week)
Lovely lovely rest days which I won’t feel guilty about mmmmmMMMmmm
Beautiful creative home cooked vegan nomnoms for lunch and dinner.
I won’t need to emotionally eat since my main trigger for this is…yup ya guessed it weigho-blamo-hateo!
Think less about weight, more about fitness and achievements and FUN! (and err…thesis…umm woo?)
Continue feelin all skinny when clothes feel even just a smidgen too big
When I do go back to weighing myself I’ll be smart about it…I won’t do it when I’ve fallen to the communists (TOM), I won’t do it the morning after an EPIC workout when I’m swollen with the dum dun DOMS, etc etc. and hopefully I will have gained some perspective so that if it still is exactly the same, or I’m scared to type…increased… I will see it for what it is… a sneaky, bitter scale who is just spiteful that I ignored him for so long and is telling me lies out of jealousy and is about to have the LED smashed outta him…OR (*put a lid on the crazy*) a number that does not define me or diminish how far I’ve come and what I’ve achieved along the way.
Thank you anyone who has read down as far as this, you are wonderful and I am so appreciative of your time and support
Wish me luck!
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