MSPEACHYJONES   11,380
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MSPEACHYJONES's Recent Blog Entries

Where has she been? did she re-fat?

Saturday, March 10, 2012

I really really disappeared there for a bit,

Not just on sparkpeople and facebk but also in the actual real world... it would be far more exciting to imagine that some wild experiment in the lab went terribly wrong causing me to vanish and thus I was forced to wrap myself in bandages to make myself visible... disappointly enough for my dramatic sensiblities... this was not the case.

I dropped off the radar in both the real and virtual worlds to burrow my way into a thesis writing cave. blah blah...wrote loads...rewrote...delete delete....rewrite....less sleep...less exercise BUT surprisingly... NO BINGE EATING! emoticon
WOOT WOOT!

I couldn't believe it BUT the SP lessons really stay in your brain!
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I mean ya I was excercising a lot less so I wasn't actually losing weight but I managed to maintain...not just in my thesis cave...BUT over XMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon

HOWEVER..... now I am unemployed, job searching (i.e. watching ellen/ANTM reruns/Dr.Phil and occasionally googling jobs...) . SO I am way more prone to crazy binges (giant toblerone, bread, cereal-by-the-box, chocolatechocolatechocolate). Though I do have significantly more time to exercise, and I am, like crazy, to the point of exhaustion, therefore still maintaining weight which therefore leads to me being able to rationalise binges......SO this method is not exactly genius....

I am back and ready to get my SP magic balance!!!


I must get used to blogging again...

Finally I would like to really, sincerely apologise to my SP friends that I abandoned during my absence. Supporting you guys on SP meant a lot to me and I am genuinely ashamed if I let any of you down by leaving. I hope you will forgive me, though from what I have seen since I've been back, not one of you has lost your spark FIRE!!!
loads of love


xxxxx

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YOUNGANGELAM 6/19/2012 8:02PM

  um... GREAT JOB ON THESIS writing!!! my best friend just went through that and it sucked away her whole life as well. GET BACK TO IT! Woo!!!

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THELILEA 3/28/2012 12:14PM

    Hi!!! Welcome back and congrats on not back sliding during your absence!! :)
Best of luck on your next steps, and in the meantime I hope to read lots of fun blogs! :)

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AMYNYNJ 3/10/2012 2:02PM

    Welcome back! I thought you were busy with school. Glad to hear yo are still on track. Good luck with your job search. Stay away from Dr.Oz he will melt your brain. emoticon

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VEROISME 3/10/2012 12:37PM

    Welcome Back!



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DAGNY6ALT 3/10/2012 11:23AM

    Congratulations on your thesis writing and making your way back here. I have no excuse for being away from SP for so long myself. :(

Best wishes on finding a new job soon and I'm glad to hear SP has such staying power for you! Keep up the awesomeness!!

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On feeling like you’ll never make it through, until you do.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

On feeling like you’ll never make it through, until you do.

When a circle of people from all over the globe place their troubles in the centre of the circle and are asked to take back whatever troubles they want, they will invariably take back their own.

emoticonNever be ashamed of what you are going through, even if you are certain that others might think it just isn’t a big deal at all. We all have our own pace and if we keep looking forward we’ll make it through.

My personal challenges are financial, academic and body confidence.

AND I’M DOING FINE!!

emoticonI have enough money to eat for weeks (I heart beans and rice )
emoticonand I won’t have to leave my home for at least two months.
emoticonThe more weight I loose the more of my old clothes that fit me (which is basically like having new clothes WOOP).
I work long hours so my lecky and heating bills are waaaaaay down HUZZAH!
emoticonThe bank know where I live BOOOOOOOO! But I’ve saved enough for this month’s loan repayment BOOYAH!
emoticonI appreciate the zen like state of being removed from consumerism.Ommm
(NOTE: this poverty is grad-student poverty and in no way comparable to actual poverty in which uncertainty rules your life ‘where will I get food’ ‘where can I sleep’. And I do not mean to belittle or trivialise people surviving that life.)

Academic
As I have been whining and moaning to several of you I’m trying to write my doctoral thesis.
Demotivation stations grrrrrr
I am my own worst enemy!!
emoticonSitting down and writing AT LENGTH about my research into the biochemical mechanisms of neurodegeneration is boring (surprise!) and soul destroying. By boss is meticulous and needs draft after draft….after draft…. (repeat to fade)…..
Which is hard as I KNOW I gotta finish quick smart!
AAAaaand then I spend time writing blogs……and procrastinating (yes you endlessly entertaining websites…you know who you are….)

BUT! I have a cunning plan…GOAL…and what’s the most motivating thing for me to work towards?? HALLOWEEN BABY! (Samhain to my druidic and wiccan connected brethren) fun fact: apparently Irish settlers brought Halloween to America …YOU’RE WELCOME! So ya massive Halloween festival in Cambridge in the UK aim to be finito and free to ghoul up and creep over there with a murder of my most undead friends.
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I WILL FINISH, I HAVE TO! I need this chapter of my life to be finished so I can move on to new adventures and pastures fresh.

Body Confidence: Plateau country. But not Fateau country! YAY! Still slimmer than I was…easy to forget that… I’ll weigh myself again in a few days…

OK Then back to work (wish I could write a page of science this easily)
You guys are helping me stay strong XXX

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AVAFOX 6/17/2013 6:21PM

  I really love your blog! And your research sounds so fascinating, I'm jealous! Good work, both on losing weight and being so inspiring. You may feel you need to lose more but you look lovely to me!

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AMYNYNJ 9/14/2011 7:37PM

    You go girl!!! Don't worry about student poverty, once you get through it, it get's better.
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SWAZY33 9/12/2011 7:30AM

    With your focus...you ARE already a winner!
Life does have a way of throwing a lot at us but a great attitude like yours WILL get you through :)

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GONABFIT 9/10/2011 9:39PM

    Great attitude to keep! Way to go. I definitely know how you feel. Med school was hard and I felt like I had nothing the entire time. Now I'm in residency and it's nice to have a little more money. But I also have bills.

Such is life. May as well enjoy!

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SUSUSUZZZIE 9/10/2011 11:56AM

    You have a fantastic attitude and it's positively contagious! Way to go on seeing all seeing all the blessings in your challenges.

I can't wait to read soon about how you've finished your thesis and you're ready to move to the next pasture and adventure!
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SHINJU39 9/10/2011 11:44AM

    Keep your focus your dissertation will be finished soon.

Then emoticon

As for self confidence I think that comes from within - I have been feeling great just lately - and as the other issues resolve I am sure yours will start to soar.

Have a great weekend

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JUGE300000 9/10/2011 9:56AM

    emoticon

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19 lbs off 3 month Sparkaversary throwin inches away like confetti!

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

OH MY GOSSSHH!
A wha?
YAAAAY!
emoticonthe above is a summary of my reaction to seeing 149.2 on my mortal enemy (the scale’s) face this morning on maaah threee month SPARKAVERSARY! WOOT WOOT

SO let’s play the numbers game…This brings my total weight loss to………

emoticon19lbs!! but mainly…I’m back in the 140s!!! I haven’t seen that number in a LOooooOOOoong time. Wayhey!

Inches:
emoticon Waist: 5.5 gone
emoticonHips: 7 gone (was a bit wowed by that one gotta say…but I have plenty to spare around there!)
emoticonMuh thighs: 3.5 disappeared
emoticonUpper arm: 1.5 away!!

Clothes!!

emoticonI can fit perfectly back in to the navy freepeople lacy hookneyetie dress WOOOO

emoticonMe jeans be loose (but thankfully still wearable with multiple belts cos I ain’t gotz no monies for the new ones )

emoticonI can now zip up the fancy half backless LBD (still a bit conscious on the tum tum so keeping that as a motivational dressy).

emoticonI can zip up the gothy ballerina LBD (again tum gazing so still motivational)

emoticonI can lovingly gaze at the upcycled coolerthancool Cambridge dress (still afraid to try it on…) but can actually imagine myself wearing it YAY!

emoticonI had to put an extra hole in two of my vintage men’s belts I wear around my waisty yup WOOOOO!

Fitness!!
(OK for anyone who knows it, I am currently singing ‘Witness the fitness’ by Roots Manuva in my headbrain Yup yup well motivational!!! LOL… yumz ! and if you don’t know it WATCH IT http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDWgtB_MD24 it is Hi-Lar-I-OUS! Laaandan kid!

OK so with that in mind :P
emoticonI have walked/ran/stumbled 416.88 miles since I started trackin mahmilez
emoticonMoved mah booty in an exercisey fashion for 8,532 minutes
emoticonI have burned…weight for it (ha ha I am soooo funny…uch) 31,662 calories! (I find that one a wee teensy bit abstracty mind boggley…movin on…)
emoticonCan run faster – I can walk + run = wun an 11 minute mile for a hour (I don’t have a pedometer so this is SP maths).
emoticonI heart skipping – short interval skipping for around 40 minmins (inspired by coach Nicole’s skippin vid) while watchin the telly and havin sweat drip in my eyes, but I found a head scarf usable as a sweat band t’other day so WOOO! Lol.
emoticonOh I’ve totalley-cat gotten back to thuh strong lady weights lifting and ST, don’t really know how to gauge that coz I only have a 4kg but its getting plus facile and I do more reps and crunches don’t make me wanna die and end the agony! So Woo bonus!!

Ermm what else… the complimento metre?? I’m not so sure it’s noticeable yet, well I notice, but my mates/colleagues/family wouldn’t be the most…but there’s a hand full which I have been hoarding like Gollum:
emoticonMy auntie asked me was I a size 8 (that’s US 6 I fink…) I’m not (Obv!)but since she used to work high end boutiqary and was giving me her old vintage duds it was a major complement!
emoticonMy darling dear dearest Spanish friend Ishmael was bemoaning the fact that he thought my face was getting slimmer and that I must be working too hard. I heart him.
emoticonAnd my beautiful friend Zoe said I looked amazing on sat night (this may have been due to my enormous curlyed out hair distorting the proportions of my body to produce a mystifying and deceptional effect…but puck it! I’ll take it!

But whatever about what anyone else thinks I FEEL MORE CONFIDENT! To me that is the major achievement of the past 3 months (oh and errr I cook every night, thesis is being writtencorrectedReCorrected etcetc vegeruits so on so on 6000 glasses on water an hour). I feel better about myself now, I prefer how I look and I like how clothes are fitting me and I walk confidently with my head up now, AND if that sounds shallow to gach duine on the outside THEN CALL ME A PUDDLE!!


Thank you for listening you are all absolute rockstars XXXL (extra extra extra LOVE)
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMYNYNJ 8/17/2011 3:54PM

    Wow! That is amazing! Good, no Great job!

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SUSUSUZZZIE 8/10/2011 12:11AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Your progress is amazing and it shows how much effort you are putting in to this! Keep it up!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MINNESOTAMAG 8/9/2011 10:08PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

You rock! Nice job!

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BLACKJACK67 8/9/2011 1:33PM

    Congrats! You have put in a huge amount of time, effort, sweat, pain and tears...all to get to that big smile you have on your face!

KEEP IT GOING!!

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TURTLERASKIN 8/9/2011 1:06PM

    Woo hoo! That is complete awesome sauce with a topping of you rock! I knew you could do it, but it's amazing how much you've accomplished in such a short time! That is so cool, particularly the inches lost and the clothes gained!

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SWAZY33 8/9/2011 11:41AM

    What an emoticon job you have done over these past months! and the proof is on the scale, in how your clothes fit and your overall great fitness!
Soooooooo proud of you!
I'm looking forward to fighting through my upcoming treatments and getting back to exercise also! I can't believe how much I miss it!
Thanks for the inspiration today! :)
Kar

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MGO09190 8/9/2011 8:42AM

    19 pounds in 3 months is AWESOME!!! You've done an ass-kicking good job :D

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SHINJU39 8/9/2011 8:18AM

    Well done - your enthusiasm and joy shine through.

I raise a glass of water to the next 3 months and fitting in that 'upcycled coolerthancool Cambridge dress'

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Have a great day

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Play play pretendz skinniminis it is Gloooooorious!! then face your fears and fight on and on and on

Monday, July 18, 2011

So so so how does it go?
After a day of munching chocolate covered noms et nommy noms, typing and un-typing thesis lalalalala UH! deletedeletedelete, stalking 'creativegreed' and waaaaaaaay toooo much Bipling ( 4give if you sense an unconscious hommage in my 'voice' O my dayz indeed)..... I am currently basking in my residual 'skinny delusions' before tomorrow mornings 'weighty issues' weigh-in (in fairness it has been....ummm 2 weeks since i've weighed...and it has been dicey riley at times...but more of that to follow..)
HowNeva! my skinnyimaginarium!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Feeling creatively inspired (due to the productivity of my online procrastination stations cet apres midi I am playing with my clothes. I revelled in my fool the brain skinnimini pretend (induced for any1 who's unaware------or even reading this----by not weighing myself..wonderously fun working out...and being happygolucky(er) easy(er-ish) with the eats/drinkz...) by wearing my skinny jeans (i.e. the cut not the aspiration) of which their current bagginess renders this label a misnomer, and cool as camden pocket top with big ol'runners and messy messy hair...yums.

So the mission- CHUCK OUT OLD CLOTHES!! to give you an idea, I have a part magpie (mmmm sparkley vintage/charity shop/antique clothes) part stone cold broke (tescos, ummm...charity shop (the more depressing kind) and ill fitting handmedowns-tradeoffs, salecrapwhyindaHelveticaDidibuythis???labe
lStillONCraptolio) So there is A LOT TO CHucK...

Meanwhile I throw around remaining clothes into interesting outfits that i can sit in my teeeny tiny office this wee(a)k feeling 'different' and 'unique' and 'not a scientist' and 'can afford nEW stuff' (I can have skinny delusions, so why not be completely delusional???YOPYOP

Little dresses, work boots, big wide mans belt (great, wrap it around ur waist a few laps and u feel itsy bitsy emoticon way hey!) grungey t-shirts avec florality big ol' necklaceys and odd earrings fabbydabbydoohdaaaaa

ALLLLL of this is terribly fabulous and Very Distracting from weigh in Mo(u)rning.... All has not been wonderful

emoticon I have not been bummed out by the scale in two weeks!! Huzzah
emoticonwithout the scale to chase me I have gone over my calories A LOT TOOOOO much!!
emoticonBUT this has made me mellow out when I do go over... and not do a shameysad face
emoticonZere can be such a thing as to mellow Miss Yellow... as in not caring... as in GAIN GAINGAIN...eek
emoticonI've been supertrooper workin OUT!! I run faster,longer,stronger (although attempted sandybeachstream-leap last run ended badly and I'm convinced proximal sheep and bunnies were laughing at me....not cool dudes).
emoticonNO ONE HAS NOTICED!!!! Are ya kiddin me? lousy, ok 14 pounds give or take is not that much but STILL, thats cold
emoticonI'm tired ALOT and that makes me sooooo freakin hungry!!
emoticonThis weigh in could be what I need (oddly enough) to spur me on and get back on track (mixing metaphors...)
emoticonOr...I'ma climb in a vending machine and eat my way out...

OK it iz time 4 me to cook some ricenbeans and my spine is OW from sitting like a camel over computio SO wish me luck in the morning, if you don't see my weight ticker change assume I'm climbing candy mountain.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YOUNGANGELAM 7/27/2011 2:53PM

  I looooove your writing style. You are awesome. Love what you did with the emoticons! hehe.

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THELILEA 7/26/2011 2:13PM

    You are so freakin' hilarious. I loved this blog. Dare I ask how the weigh in went?

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SUSUSUZZZIE 7/18/2011 11:09PM

    Good luck with the scale and like TURTLERASKIN said, it's just a number. Remember your own words..."I run faster, longer, stronger..." and that's a wonderful accomplishment. And if you get the urge to crawl in the vending machine, check in here and we'll send some hugs to help you walk away.


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TURTLERASKIN 7/18/2011 4:09PM

    A bit Joycean today, my dear?

Don't worry about tomorrow -- whatever the number is, it isn't you. Good or bad, it's just a stage in a journey. Hang in there. I still think you're peaches, no matter what!

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Scale avoidance, loose clothes and battle blows- Yup another NSV blog :)

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Phew, here goes: undertaking scale avoidance. emoticon
A break up if you will from the snarky little gadget that has both praised and smack talked me in the past two months. Clearly I should have no trouble avoiding this meano-little device, who, by the way I have NEVER criticised for HIS weight (come on lets face it weigh scales are guys, they never know the right thing to say!!…) nope, I did not say a word, not even when I had to lug the husky fella across town back to my house… emoticon
Yeah it shouldn’t be difficult to stay wide of this joker, I definitely had no probs avoiding him during my denial phase! I always had the opinion that people who weighed themselves were crazy to believe so much in a constantly fluctuating number. OK so in fairness I’ve definitely, by my own definition gone cuckoobananas for the lbs in the last 2 months…

But here are my reasons for a two week ban on weigho-blamo-hateo
emoticonIt IS just a number; it WILL go up and down! The second before I step on the scale I feel all slim and confident, he shouldn’t be able to take away that confidence just by giving me the stink-eye…

emoticonWeighing myself makes me forget the bigger better achievements, like holding planks, climbing cliff hikes, swimming the icy Atlantic just because I’d regret it if I didn’t, realising I have WILLPOWER!!! I can make good decisions! YAY! emoticon

emoticonIt wastes a big fat portion of my day when a weigh in doesn’t go my way, I spend the whole day searching articles (Am I convinced reading articles about plateaus promotes weight loss?? Why yeeeessss yes I am…) and over analysing (both the Freudian and nutritional schools of analysis, ‘Am I eating this because I got lost in the supermarket when I was five or because it is sugary deliciousness?’)every morsel of food I see!!

emoticonIt makes me forget to listen to and notice my body! I am not just a sum of parts that equals a quantity of pounds!!! I’m smart, my body is smart and we can work this out without depending on the scale, mind just needs to talk to body!

emoticonI swear the weigh scales ACTUALLY makes baggy clothes feel tight! It’s an amazing feat of physics, yup, no lie, my body will actually swell to porcine proportions based on a number on a screen (note: this is specific to scale numbers, i.e. telephone numbers don’t make me whale up…yet).

emoticon emoticonI like my slim skinny mini delusions! It’s great! I feel bags more confident when I’m convinced that a workout just blasted off 40 pounds and when I meet my skinny friends, well they must be just awed and dazzled! (deep down, waaay down) at the sight of this ethereal waif before them (HA! Waif I do not aspire to, I’d prefer the toned-could-be-an-extra-on-true-blood-a$$-
kickin-rockstar but ya get me)

emoticonAnd last but not least, naturally I hope to see a MAAA-HAA- HUU-SIVE difference in the digits in two weeks time when I weigh in again! (Yeah yeah I know this in some way negates what I’ve said above, but I’m being honest with myself (and you) and I am still a scale addict at this stage…) emoticon

SO here’s the plan….
emoticonHide the scales!
emoticonKeep tracking nutrition (1300-1500, beer/wine slip-ups are cool within reason) and exercise (6 cardio sessions, 3-4ST per week)
emoticonLovely lovely rest days which I won’t feel guilty about mmmmmMMMmmm
emoticonBeautiful creative home cooked vegan nomnoms for lunch and dinner.
emoticonI won’t need to emotionally eat since my main trigger for this is…yup ya guessed it weigho-blamo-hateo!
emoticonThink less about weight, more about fitness and achievements and FUN! (and err…thesis…umm woo?)
emoticonContinue feelin all skinny when clothes feel even just a smidgen too big

When I do go back to weighing myself I’ll be smart about it…I won’t do it when I’ve fallen to the communists (TOM), I won’t do it the morning after an EPIC workout when I’m swollen with the dum dun DOMS, etc etc. and hopefully I will have gained some perspective so that if it still is exactly the same, or I’m scared to type…increased… I will see it for what it is… a sneaky, bitter scale who is just spiteful that I ignored him for so long and is telling me lies out of jealousy and is about to have the LED smashed outta him…OR (*put a lid on the crazy*) a number that does not define me or diminish how far I’ve come and what I’ve achieved along the way.

Thank you anyone who has read down as far as this, you are wonderful and I am so appreciative of your time and support emoticon
Wish me luck!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YOUNGANGELAM 7/27/2011 2:55PM

  YAY for EPIC workouts!

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MOTHERMAGOO 7/14/2011 12:54PM

  GREAT blog posting, honey! You have summed up wonderfully and had me "amen"ing all the way through! Good luck on the rest of your journey and I will keep coming back for more great reads and moral support! You got this!!! emoticon

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LEAHKAY21782 7/9/2011 11:17PM

    Amens....Scales are LOOOOOOOOOOOSERS. Him and I had a moment the other day cause there was chic on Dr. Oz who weighed 10 lbs LESS than me, and I was in awe of how overweight they looked. I called my hubby in to confirm that I did not look that overweight.

Is that sad or what? lol

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RNRBUNNY 7/9/2011 8:51PM

    You can so do it! I need it right now to keep my tush on track! I saw your a doctoral student! I am a candidate or philosophy so I am reading all the time trying to come up with a dissertation (which alludes me)!!!
Go get 'em!

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ODINRMC 7/7/2011 12:49PM

    Why do all things that are evil (the scale) have to be male?!?! Although I do agree it is a male.....

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SUSUSUZZZIE 7/7/2011 12:19PM

    Great blog. I see a lot of Sparkers, me included, struggling with the scale. Love your goals! Good luck to you!
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MAIM138 7/7/2011 11:59AM

    I'm with you! After being devoted to my scale for so long, it's turned on me. I've been losing and gaining the same two pounds (or maybe it's a different two pounds, but you know what I mean) over and over again for more than a month. Screw that. I'm doing the right things, and if my weight doesn't wanna budge, so be it. What else can I do but keep at it?

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TURTLERASKIN 7/7/2011 10:55AM

    Good luck! I'm in the midst of my own scale ban, because I felt much like you, with the added component that I was addicted -- I weighed every day, and then when the scale stopped going down for two weeks was devastated. So it's been a while since I weighed, and I'm still debating whether I weigh in tomorrow on my regular weigh in day. I want to, desperately, which makes me think I shouldn't....

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