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Conquering fears!!

Friday, October 25, 2013

I used to have a huge fear of going to the gym. I pictured muscle heads and very fit, glamorous folks in them and here I was morbidly obese trying to go to the gym. So I always, always felt intimidated.

But then I joined a very quiet little quaint one a few years ago. Nothing but old people and a few muscle heads. No one trying to tell me I am doing an exercise wrong or questioning what I was doing. And this satisfied me for a while. But this gym got boring. It only had treadmills, a few step machines and ellipticals as well as the weights.

I wanted a more glamorous gym! Haha. One with classes and much more machines and fun stuff. So I joined a larger chain one.

However, here I was, stuck in intimidation land again. There were DEFINITELY muscle heads, and super fit people here, and big scary machines that I felt would be too embarrassed to get on. And a vey buff, and kinda cute personal trainer guy who keeps giving me the eye. (I think he wants to give me some fitness advice, which is exactly what I dont want...lol)

So this new gym is scary, and I almost want to change my mind and go back to my boring one. I havent yet though. Everyday, I still go in there, and I am apprehensive about the overly fit folks and buff people. But this gym has out of shapers like me, and OLD PEOPLE too!

I still havent decided to join a class yet, I will one day, but, I am super proud of myself. I have been eyeing the STEPMILL for about a month now, dying to try it. However, I have this immense fear that I wont be able to get on it because I have to step up high to get on it. And then, because it keeps going and going, I am so afraid that my clumsy self will just trip and fall right off of it.

Yesterday, yesterday though, I just said screw it and hopped on that bad boy. Low and behold I love it. Its my new machine now, my new obsession and I cant wait to get on it today!!! Its definitely a killer though. That is what I like about it.

Conquering fears, its not so terrible. One day, one day though, I shall try those gym classes.

Conquer some new fears people!! Its awesome.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MNNICE 10/26/2013 12:39PM

    Yep, sometimes we just have to jump on and do it, and then it's not as scary anymore!! Way to go, and keep it up!

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ANDREWMOM 10/25/2013 9:29AM

    I understand... you will and can and some day you can help those who join and seem the same as you to ease their fears...

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Lost my mind. So I lost my weight with it.

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

It amazingly cliche to decide to get healthier because of a failed relationship, but that is exactly what happened.

Have you ever made someone you whole life, and obtaining them your whole goal that you get lost in them and forget about you? Twisting your whole life around, and LOSING yourself, doing things you said you wouldnt ever do and constantly contradicting yourself.

This was me for 2 years. All for a man (sadface I know!) And only for him to disappear and pretend I never existed. And somewhere I told myself that I loved myself, but that was all a lie.

And around the time of the disappearance, my very best friend in the entire world died. And this is WHEN I LOST MY MIND.

And also when I began to find myself, Lost in a whirlpool of negative thoughts, food, feeling awful and no desire to care about anything, I just stopped caring.

And then I became ANGRY. And from that anger is where I began to start loving myself. And that meant taking care of me.

Im not so angry anymore, but I still use that fire in my belly to motivate me to work out and love myself and here I am 90lbs free!!


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSMALIK 10/8/2013 2:19PM

    Thanks so much!

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LADYJ6942 10/8/2013 1:49PM

    CONGRATS AND WHAT A WAY TO TURN A COUPLE NEGATIVES INTO AN AMAZING POSITIVE.

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MNNICE 10/8/2013 1:47PM

    Sometimes angry is what it takes to light the spark! Now you've found it and I guarantee your will love yourself more and more as you get healthier and reach your goals! Keep it up!

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