Tuesday, April 14, 2009
What is motivation?
Motivation to change problem behavior and sustain the change is:
* Being willing to make sacrifices necessary for change
* The acceptance of the belief that if there is "no pain'' then there is "no gain''
* A commitment to rid yourself of problem behaviors, both now and in the future
* The rational perspective that it takes time, energy, effort, hard work, internal strength, and drive to change and sustain the change
* The inner voice of patience, self-love, and nurturing that allows you to recognize the necessary changes that need to be made
* A call to respond to the challenge of life
* Willingness to initiate recovery lifestyle activities
* Enjoying the changes made and wanting to sustain them
* Being unwilling to return to an unhealthy lifestyle
* Accepting relapse in the pursuit of recovery and picking yourself up to start again
Negative consequences of a lack of motivation
If you lack motivation to change or to sustain efforts, a recovery lifestyle eventually will cease. Excuses used, conscious and subconscious, for your lack of personal motivation include:
* Your scapegoating of other people, agencies, or circumstances as to why efforts to change or sustain change are unsuccessful
* Experiencing stress, depression, or confusion as to why the efforts to change or sustain change are unsuccessful
* Denial that the change is stagnated
* Blaming others for the inability to succeed in recovery
* Blaming a lack of money, effort, energy, persistence or time to attain or sustain change
* Not realizing how hard it is to attain and sustain change
* Becoming discouraged with the length of time change takes and the necessity for lifelong commitment to sustain change
* An inability to accept personal responsibility for one's self
* Depending on others to provide prodding, cajoling and nagging to attain and sustain change.
Pitfalls of depending on social support to overcome your lack of self-motivation
If you lack personal motivation and depend entirely on social support to attain or sustain a change, you could:
* Eventually resent the prodding, encouragement, and support of the others
* Resist sacrificing for change
* Begin to think, "Why should I be doing all the suffering?''
* Become jealous of the people in the support system because they are not taking extreme measures to change their own lifestyle
* Begin to feel obligated to pursue the change just to satisfy others
* Feel anger at the others, thinking, "They want this more than I do.''
* Feel guilty for not accomplishing the change which others wanted for you
* Begin to blame the others for wanting this change
* Believe that personal self-esteem is dependent on making the change and maintaining it
* Begin to distort the motives, desires, and best wishes of the others
* Feel a sense of coercion, force or ultimatum which inhibits your freedom to participate in the process of change
* Begin to feel worthless for not changing fast enough, for having relapses or for not sticking to the time frame or the guidelines
How to sustain healthy self-motivation
In order to sustain healthy self-motivation, you need to:
* Love yourself enough to believe you deserve to accomplish change in your life
* Set realistic goals
* Visualize successful change
* Be committed to personal health and self-satisfaction to attain and sustain change
* Devote energy, effort, sustained vigilance and personal sacrifice
* Accept personal responsibility for problem behavior
* Believe that only through personal efforts can a problem behavior be changed
* Reinforce your success, no matter how small
* Be able to break a large goal into small increments, which are obtainable, reasonable and measurable, and to reward yourself for the attainment of these sub-goals without regret over the remaining steps still needing to be accomplished or satisfied
* Accept that change of old habits is a lifelong process
* Realize that the efforts to change do not end once initial cessation of old behaviors is attained
* Believe that a work-oriented recovery lifestyle model is a lifelong process
* Sustain the change in problem behaviors
* Commit to a lifelong contract of behavior change
Irrational thinking contributing to a lack of motivation
* Unless I am able to achieve my goal quickly and with little effort, it isn't worth pursuing.
* Everybody else is relying on me to change; this is enough to keep me going in my need to change my lifestyle.
* There is only a need to lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, stop gambling, stop using my credit card, stop using crack, etc., in order to change my life.
* There is no reason for me to change my entire lifestyle in order to change my problem behaviors.
* It should be easy to change my behaviors.
* The professionals who preach lifestyle change don't know what they are talking about.
* My problem behavior is not addictive; I am in control at all times. Why all the fuss?
* Change should be simple and easy to achieve; why am I having so much trouble? There must be something wrong with me.
* My friends are all wrong in encouraging me to change. It appears that I mean nothing to them unless I change.
* The effort it takes to sustain change is too much; therefore, I will only work on attaining the change and leave sustaining change to time to take care of.
* I should enjoy the adventure of change; it should come easy and be pleasant.
* If someone makes fun of or criticizes my efforts, I'll get angry enough to give up.
* For me to be successful it is important for everyone to understand me and my need to change.
* When my family and friends don't make accommodations for my changed lifestyle, I should give up. I can't stand to change alone.
* People should realize how hard it is for me to change; they should be more sympathetic.
* Unless everyone supports me, I'll never succeed in changing.
* I must have warmth, understanding, and caring from others in order to change.
* This need to change my lifestyle is being perpetrated by professionals who have a financial interest in it.
* Why are they making this seem so difficult? Are they using scare tactics to make me change?
* This "change thing'' is beginning to look like a plot hatched by the professionals and my support system. They're never satisfied.
-James J Messina, PhD-
Monday, April 13, 2009
The 10 Commandments of Self-Care
1. Use all of your vacation time every year.
Be intentional about taking time off. Take out your calendar this week and schedule your vacation time for the next 12 months.
2. Commit your time off solely to non-work related activities.
Keep your time with family and friends sacred by setting boundaries around your personal time so that work does not interfere. You need time to recuperate from work so that you'll be more professionally productive. If you work from home, set work hours and close the office door during your off hours.
3. Take your rest seriously.
We've all heard it, but too few practice it: Get eight hours of sleep. Being well-rested builds immunity, keeps you from being irritable, and simply gives your body what it needs. Be a good steward over the body you've been blessed with. It may take some extra discipline to do it consistently, but you can do it. How about starting tonight?
4. Have fun at least once a week.
What do you like to do for fun? Having fun every day would be ideal, but try to at least do something simply for the fun of it on a weekly basis. Scientific studies have shown that positive emotion builds your emotional capacity to handle adversity and stress, and be more open and creative. If life's gotten so hectic that you don't even know what to do for fun, make a game out of trying new things until you find what's fun for you.
5. Eat regularly, preferably sitting down.
Do you eat on the go? Skip meals? Dine in front of the television? Eating offers an opportunity not only to refuel your body, but to reconnect with yourself and others. If you don't have time to eat three meals a day sitting down, it's a sign that it's time to reclaim your schedule.
6. Exercise regularly, preferably standing up.
It is essential to stand up and get moving! Whether it's walking, fitness class or a favorite sport, get your heart rate up at least three to four times per week for 30 - 45 minutes. Exercise should be a part of your life just like brushing your teeth or eating dinner. Rather than considering it "optional," find a way to make it a part of your lifestyle.
7. Be fruitful and productive, not busy.
Do you have a habit of getting distracted easily? You start the day with a great to-do list and by 5 o'clock you've barely crossed anything off the list? We are meant to be fruitful - to produce the fruit of the Spirit and make meaningful progress in life. Being busy is about having a lot of activity without much to show for it. Aim to be productive.
8. Use technology to gain time, not consume it.
If you are like many people in today's culture, you manage multiple email accounts, home, work and cell phones along with accompanying voice mail for each, text messages and perhaps a Blackberry, too. Plus, you've got more choices than ever with cable and satellite television, TiVo, satellite radio, and mp3 players. All of these things are supposed to give you better choices, save time and make your life better, but only if you learn to use them to gain time and not consume it. Establish personal rules with the technology you use - respond to email at specific times rather than reacting to it as soon as it arrives, turn off the cell phone at dinner and be vigilant about clearing the clutter of old messages.
9. Connect heart-to-heart with the people who matter.
One of the worst consequences of busyness is that you become disconnected from the people who matter. When having a conversation, stop multi-tasking and look the person in the eye. It says, "What you say is important." Connect intentionally and your relationships will be better for it.
10. Be led by the Spirit.
In a busy world where everyone voices their opinion about what you should be doing, it can be tempting not to trust the voice of the Spirit that speaks directly to you. The answers you need lie within you. But you have to quiet down and slow down long enough to hear that still, small voice. Have the courage to follow it. It won't lead you astray.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Part of making positive changes in life is eliminating the negative – negative thoughts, negative behaviors, negative habits and negative people. Negative people bring us down. They make us lose hope and keep us stuck. When pessimistic, gloomy, critical, unpleasant people come your way, run, literally, for your life! Go in the other direction. Hang up the phone. Change the subject. Close the door. Ignore them.
Instead, focus on the uplifting, joyful, peaceful people in your life. Cultivate more friendships with sisters who realize they aren't perfect, but they are happy with themselves anyway. Get to know sisters and brothers who are trying to make their communities and the world a better place. Spend your time with people who support you and make you feel like you can achieve whatever you set your mind on. And, return the favor by being a force of optimism and hope in the lives of those around you.
I attract positive, loving people into my life.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Not only did I COMPLETE my 5 day detox, I also pressed on and did 2 additional days. I started the detox last Sunday 3/29 and Saturday 4/4 was my last day. I DID IT....
7 full days...with a lot of NOs....
NO candy, COOKIES, cake, bread, sodas, ice cream, CHOCOLATE, chips, fast food, pizza, CHINESE FOOD (my fav!) fried foods, pasta, sugar, and no red meat.........in fact NO MEAT AT ALL.....
I was tempted to eat other things, but I resisted!!! I went to an interview last Thursday and to my surprise I was offered Soda and cookies...during an interview???? Never happened to me before. I said no thank you and she kept offering and then even insisting, while I'm thinking what's wrong with this lady...didn't she hear me say NO the first time. Finally she let it go and said gee you are good.
I made chicken for my sister and I wanted to eat just one piece, but I didn't. My sister brought home pizza Friday and that seemed to be the best aroma to ever hit my nose! I wanted it, but decided against it. I looked at it and said....nahhh I don't really want any pizza....nor do I NEED it. It wasn't on my plan and I wasn't going to eat it.
Yesterday someone tried to give me COOKIES...I said no thanks..I didn't even want them at all. I felt zero temptation. So, I am excited about that because I love cookies. Not to say that I will never eat these things again...they just weren't on my plan so I was not having them!
I was not sure that I could really do this even though I wanted to and felt as if I was ready. I am truly an emotional eater, but I am working on changing that. The hardest thing for me was that last week was the anniversary of my Mother's passing. That's always a hard day for me, but it was the first that I felt good and I didn't even cry. I was sad a bit, but I didn't turn to food and I didn't fall off my detox. So, for that I am sure she would be proud...what more can I ask for....
I still don't really SEE a difference, but I sure feel it emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I am soooooo proud of myself. Even though I did a 21 day fast at the beginning of the year and stuck with it...something is different this time...what I really don't know yet. BUT having completed this detox and pushed myself even further than required I feel like I can and will come out of this obesity. I was very strict with my eating and exercising and will continue to do whatever I need to do to drop this weight and reach my goal. For once I feel that I AM IN CONTROL....
I am happy to say that I down 6lbs since last Sunday....
AND.........I was reading one of my team's digests for the week and did a double take when I saw my name as being NUMBER 1 for both Spark Minutes and Fitness Minutes.
I think I'm finally and truly on my way.
Thanks to everyone who's supported and encouraged me and gave me kinds words and hope....not only by posting on my page, but by sharing your own stories.....
Friday, April 03, 2009
BUT my sister and her God-daughter are downstairs baking a PIZZA....it smells so good and I have not had pizza in eons. I KNOW that I am NOT hungry, but it just smells good and I want to EAT IT. However, I WILL NOT, which is why I am writing this...to give myself a diversion and something to do besides running down there to grab a slice or 2!!!!
I am drinking water and telling myself that I don't feel like going downstairs. So, I just won't go....one more day until my free day which is Sunday. I am not having any "junk", but I am looking forward to having baked Salmon for dinner Sunday evening......
*chanting I will not eat pizza, I will not eat pizza....*
I can do it....I think...lol
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