Wednesday, October 28, 2009
STRATEGIES FOR BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM
Crises of self-esteem are a part of the human experience. When you feel troubled by low self-esteem, review the suggestions below and choose those that are relevant to your situation and work on them. Be patient with yourself: change takes time and steadfast work.
1. Free yourself from "should's". Live your life on the basis of what is possible for you and what feels right to you instead of what you or others think you "should" do. "Should's" distract us from identifying and fulfilling our own needs, abilities, interests and personal goals. Find out what you want and what you are good at, value those, and take actions designed to fulfill your potential.
2. Respect your own needs. Recognize and take care of your own needs and wants first. Identify what really fulfills you--not just immediate gratifications. Respecting your deeper needs will increase your sense of worth and well-being.
3. Set achievable goals. Establish goals on the basis of what you can realistically achieve, and then work step-by-step to develop your potential. To strive always for perfectionist absolute goals--for example, "Anything less than an A in school is always unacceptable"--invites stress and failure.
4. Talk to yourself positively. Stop listening to your "cruel inner critic." When you notice that you are doubting or judging yourself, replace such thoughts with self-accepting thoughts, balanced self-assessment and self-supportive direction.
5. Test your reality. Separate your emotional reactions--your fears and bad feelings-- from the reality of your current situation. For example, you may feel stupid, anxious and hopeless about a project, but if you think about it, you may still have the ability and opportunity to accomplish something in it.
6. Experience success. Seek out and put yourself in situations in which the probability of success is high. Look for projects which stretch--but don't overwhelm--your abilities. "Image" yourself succeeding. Whatever you accomplish, let yourself acknowledge and experience success and good feelings about it.
7. Take chances. New experiences are learning experiences which can build self- confidence. Expect to make mistakes as part of the process; don't be disappointed if you don't do it perfectly. Feel good about trying something new, making progress and increasing your competence.
8. Solve problems. Don't avoid problems, and don't moil about them. Face them, and identify ways to solve them or cope with them. If you run away from problems you can solve, you threaten your self-confidence.
9. Make decisions. Practice making and implementing positive decisions flexibly but firmly, and trust yourself to deal with the consequences. When you assert yourself, you enhance your sense of yourself, learn more, and increase your self-confidence.
10. Develop your skills. Know what you can and can't do. Assess the skills you need; learn and practice those.
11. Emphasize your strengths. Focus on what you can do rather than what you cannot. Accept current limitations and live comfortably within them, even as you consider what strengths you might want or need to develop next.
12. Rely on your own opinion of yourself. Entertain feedback from others, but don't rely on their opinions. Depend on your own values in making decisions and deciding how you feel about yourself and what is right for you to do.
There's only one YOU and you deserve to feel good about YOURself....
Happy Hump Day SP.....
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Self-esteem is how you see yourself as a person. If you value the type of person you are, you have a good sense of self-esteem and you're proud to be you. You value your skills and talents, respect your own intelligence and act on your beliefs and feelings. But if you could feel better about yourself, these tips might give you some ideas about how to start.
Listen to Self Talk
We all carry on a steady mental dialogue. Do you ever listen to what you're saying to yourself? Do you put yourself down or call yourself names? Learn to hear the things you say about yourself, then replace that dialogue with positive images. Stop negative self-talk and take the first step toward a more positive self-image.
Make a list of your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem to you. Maybe you won't win a Nobel Prize, but your accomplishments have worth to you. By recognizing them, you can begin to understand that you are important and that you have self-worth.
Learn to be assertive and to practice clear communication. Say what you mean and respect what others have to say. Remember that you have rights, too.
Be tolerant of yourself and others. Nobody's perfect! Try not to criticize yourself or other people and don't expect others to criticize you. Recognize that a mistake is only a mistake and don't dwell on it.
Know Good Friends
Spend time with people who value you. Listen to what they say about you. If others are constantly putting you down, you might want to reconsider those relationships. People you choose to be around are often mirrors of how you feel about yourself. You can find the best in yourself and others by expecting it.
Monday, October 26, 2009
There really is not that much difference between a spectacularly successful person and a dismal failure. But the little difference there is, is crucial. And the difference is self esteem. People who succeed are people who believe in themselves and value themselves. Successful people value their own time and they don't waste it. They value their health and they don't fill their bodies up with poison.
A well developed self esteem creates a confidence that enables successful people to avoid wasteful conflicts with others. Successful people sincerely respect and value other people, and that trait alone draws success to them like a magnet.
People who believe in themselves are willing to take responsibility for themselves. The losers in life blame their troubles on someone else, and by so doing they give control of their lives to others. I see so much of this, and it is painful to watch. People who refuse to take responsibility for their own lives are always frustrated and depressed. They are professional victims.
Success does not take a long time to achieve. In fact, you can go from failure to success in an instant. All in takes is an attitude adjustment. All it takes is a willingness to believe in yourself and to take responsibility for yourself. As soon as you can do that, then you are a success. You may not have a lot of money or fame or whatever, but that really doesn't matter. Because once you are truly successful, once you sincerely take responsibility for your own life, you can have whatever it is you want.
Nothing make you successful if success is not inside of you. Love the person you are enough to give love and respect to others, and your achievements will be unlimited.
-- Ralph Marston
Believe in yourself and think positively of yourself. You are worth it.
Have a good Monday.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Here are my goals for the week of 10/25/09....
I met all of my goals for last week except 2. I didn't do the 30D Day Shred EVERYDAY (and I'm glad about that!!) and I didn't "pack my shoes" because I had a change of plans...which is okay too!!!
Some of these goals are repeats...others are additions...
1. Balance my input (eating) and output (workouts)...
2. PLAN and PREPARE my meals ahead of time...(this always works for me!!!!)...
3. Be very mindful of what I'm eating to make sure I'm eating "enough" on a daily basis...
4. Complete Level 2 of The 30 Day Shred Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday...
5. 60 minutes of cardio Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Friday & Saturday...
6. Cross at least 20 miles with the use of WATP...
7. Concentrate more on my form, balance and coordination...
8. Take time out for myself (even if that means turning OFF my phone for however long I need to) when I feel the need WITHOUT feeling badly or guilty about it hurting someone else's feelings or upsetting them. I need time to myself...everyone does...
9. Do not allow anyone else's stress to become my stress...
10. Enjoy my 4 day weekend 10/30/09 - 11/2/09...
11. Make sure to do something nice (mani, pedi, eyebrow wax & lunch) for myself on the anniversary of my Mom's passing on Friday 10/30/09...
12. Select my classes for the Spring...
13. Accomplish the 12 goals above...
by posting this I have reached my overall goal for October which was.....
"My goal for October is to simply post a blog EVERY Sunday in October with my goals for the week."
I didn't meet ALL of my goals that I set each week, but I met most of them. Some weeks I did meet them all and I'm very proud of that.
Thank you all for your support and encouragement!!!!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
The Will To Win...
If you want a thing bad enough
To go out and fight for it,
Work day and night for it,
Give up your time and your peace and
Your sleep for it
If only desire of it
Makes you quite mad enough
Never to tire of it,
Makes you hold all other things tawdry
And cheap for it
If life seems all empty and useless without it
And all that you scheme and you dream is about it,
If gladly you’ll sweat for it,
Fret for it, Plan for it,
Lose all your terror of God or man for it,
If you’ll simply go after that thing that you want.
With all your capacity,
Strength and sagacity,
Faith, hope and confidence, stern pertinacity,
If neither cold poverty, famished and gaunt,
Nor sickness nor pain
Of body or brain
Can turn you away from the thing that you want,
If dogged and grim you besiege and beset it,
You’ll get it!
– Berton Braley
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