MSFATAL   12,849
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MSFATAL's Recent Blog Entries

Jumping out of my comfort zone

Sunday, February 02, 2014

I have been a member of spark people for a couple of years now. It has helped me in so many ways but I am a pro of self sabotage. After the holidays I realized my clothes were no longer fitting and of course I was so confident last time I lost weight that I threw away my fat clothes. So my choice was new clothes or lose weight. I got myself a gym membership and got to work. I was offered one free session of personal training at after not enough thought I signed up for a year of sessions. Now for you all who don't know me this is a big deal. I'm super self conscious and social phobic. Going to the gym is hard enough worrying about what others think of me and now I have someone one on one with me. I finally made the choice that I don't care how stupid I may look or if I struggle with my trainer watching...I'm giving it my all. I've always gotten close to my goal but never actually got it. I so hope this year my trainer gets me to actually achieve my goal I've tried so many times to get.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HERKIMERANGEL80 2/5/2014 8:50AM

    Congrats on tackling two major issues at once--your social phobia and your health! I, too, have lost weight to gain it back to lose it again, etc...Why do we put ourselves through all that, right? If you're still looking for an accountability partner, I am more than willing; I have one already, but in our weight loss journey I definitely believe the more, the merrier! If you do have one, great! Feel free to add me as a Sparkfriend; either way one can never have to much support! Let's rock this new lifestyle for good!! emoticon

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Don't want to fall off track :(

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Hey all this is more of a rant than a real inspiring blog entry but I was hoping for some advice on this. I have pretty nasty food allergies. I can't have anything sour, tart, or citrus. Even a small fruit flavored tic-tac could send me into an attack. Obviously with summer being citrus season I have outbreaks all the time since people sneak lemon/lime/pineapple into everything! If citrus touches any where in my mouth it causes a canker sore wherever it touches. I currently have over 15 canker sores, which is even hard to count since some of them are so close it seems like its one big one :( While it runs its course im overly tired..unmotivated and can hardly eat. Im so frantic sitting at home not working out. I don't know if I should work out and push through this or let it run its course. Im so scared that if I dont work out one day will turn into two, two turns into three, three turns into a week etc. I dont want to get off track when ive been doing so strong. What would you do?? I dont want to over push myself and make it worse but I also dont want to use excuses to not workout :(

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUNESHOPE 8/7/2013 3:15PM

    emoticon Sorry, I hope they heal quickly.

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SISSYP63 8/7/2013 3:06PM

    Do what you can do. Try to walk. Feel better soon.

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ZAPPATTACK 8/7/2013 2:17PM

    Like everyone else has said, take it slow. I would even advise you to just go for a walk. Walking doesn't seem like much, but it beats sitting on the couch! Plus it's great time to think and reflect on what you want for yourself and your long-term goals. Then you can work yourself back up to more intense workouts when you feel up to it. Feel better :) emoticon

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MISSHERSHEY 8/7/2013 1:49PM

    I so hear this. I'm allergic to citrus, too (I get a rash from it). Trying to teach people that citrus = bad is *not* easy. :(

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STARTINGOVER37 8/7/2013 1:19PM

    The best advice I ever heard is to listen to your body because it will tell you what it needs. Sometimes you just need to rest and recharge your batteries and then you will feel like working out again. But even taking a short walk will be good to do.

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COOL_STUFF 8/7/2013 12:54PM

    Find some of the low intensity workouts on Sparkpeople. 10 mins at a time is doable, and will tide you over until you feel better. xoxo

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SHARONCAPPS 8/7/2013 12:14PM

  go slow and do what you can. Take care of yourself.

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Don't care if I look stupid anymore!

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

So here I am again starting my weight loss journey again! I had lost a whopping 40 lbs last year and was only 20lbs off from my goal...and I gained it back. I have been trying to not dwell on that and just keep going forward..but it's hard! I have been working so hard on my internal dialog to keep everything positive and I think I finally made a break through...

I had cancelled my gym membership to save money and started to only workout by walking at this beautiful outdoor path by my house. Half of it is through a very lush forest and the other half is outside around a pond. The entire path around is exactly 1 mile so it made it easy to gauge. This is when I overcame my fear of people seeing me run and started the C25K challenge. There was a catch though..I was only okay with it because the time of day I went it was usually pretty dead there. Nobody would see me run. Hooray!

Well..I hit a walking plan wasn't doing enough. I gave in and was able to afford a one month pass to the local gym. I don't start my job up again for a few weeks so I told myself...You're going to LIVE here! And I have...

This is me 10 lbs down and counting..This was pretty much all from walking. I just started my gym 3 days ago so I hope to have updated success photos soon!

Back to what the post is about...I dont care if I look stupid anymore! This is how my internal dialog has changed in the last few weeks....

"Im too fat to run...people will laugh" - You'll be the one laughing at the zombie 5k when you pass them up...

"I cant do the seated row, id look absolutely silly" - Once you get the hang of'll look like a beast!

"I cant wear a swim will make fun of me" - I'll be the one laughing when they have to leave the pool for adult swim..HA!

"My neighbors will think im nuts for doing walking lunges in my backyard" - Dont care. Dont know them.

"I cant learn new machines..ill look stupid" - Fake it til you make it baby!

So far I haven't let my mind beat me! I have tried new machines...I can do 30 minutes on the seated row..Im 3 weeks into the C25K program and I try to swim twice a week. I have come to learn im my biggest enemy when it comes to weight loss. I have kicked the little wicked voice inside me's butt...Time to kick ass!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZAPPATTACK 8/6/2013 12:02PM

    I'm so inspired by your post!! I definitely agree that we are our own worst enemies... We talk ourselves out of doing that last set of push-ups or crunches or that last run in the C25K program. I was also embarrassed at first of running where people could see me because I felt like I couldn't possibly be "worth" running. Now, I run for me and because it feels good and it doesn't matter if the guy who's twice my age and half my size passes me up... because he's doing his best for him and I'm doing my best for me. That's what matters - that we do our best!

emoticon emoticon

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TXPATRIOT 8/6/2013 10:53AM

    It's awesome that you've learned this lesson at your age. It took me many more years to get to that point!

Fear, shame, embarrassment--all keep us stuck. Not anymore!!


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TIMEHASCOME56 7/28/2013 1:13PM


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MELRAE2 7/25/2013 2:40PM

    Good for you!! Use the negative as motivation.. And really the only one judging you negatively is you.. You may not look coordinated swimming or rowing, but you are doing it.. Others are not!! Keep up the good work 8-) We all lose, gain, lose, gain.. It is a lifetime journey that I know I will never be done with.

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WIO_ALISA 7/25/2013 11:06AM

    The people who matter will care that you're doing something for yourself, the people who don't matter, don't matter... Besides, we're all too busy worrying about ourselves to really care what anyone else is doing.

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JUNESHOPE 7/25/2013 2:00AM

    It's not stupid to keep's stupid to give up all together. Bravery is nothing to be ashamed about, and it takes guts to keep going...
emoticon Stand strong, emoticon

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SISSYP63 7/25/2013 12:52AM

    You go girl! Your doing great! Keep going, don't look back! BTW, I was C25 graduate- then got addicted to Online games which no longer do, didn't do the workouts like I did as ate unhealthy. I am doing 5K Your Way Rookie Running in week 2 of completing day 2 and eating healthier than ever.

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LIVELYGIRL2 7/24/2013 9:36PM

  I like your pep talks ! Very good. If you run out of self talk, alot of people here have advice and useful ideas. emoticon

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LILLEAN 7/24/2013 8:32PM

    Oh I love you enthusiasm and motivation. Looks like you're ready to kick some *ss. emoticon

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    Good for you!!

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COOL_STUFF 7/24/2013 6:51PM

    Excellent attitude! I'm super jealous of your walking route-sounds gorgeous.

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GOING4KO 7/24/2013 6:47PM

    Great job motivating yourself and having a positive outlook on things. Keep up the good work.

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BUNBUN2010 7/24/2013 6:07PM

    Bravo for not caring what other people will think! You will be a major inspiration to alot of people. I decided to try the Stair Master for the first time today knowing that I may fall off trying to figure it out and keep up with it. I tripped slightly but other than that I did 20 minuets and did not care what anyone thought. It was pretty fun! And besides, I key thing to remember is that people at the gym are probably focused on their own workout as well and thinking the same thing. Talk about a chain reaction! Keep up the awesome work:)))

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WHYTEBROWN 7/24/2013 6:02PM

    emoticon JOB motivating yourself. emoticon emoticon

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SINGINGLADY3 7/24/2013 5:32PM

    I am proud of your success in spite of some negative thoughts. I am glad that you can exercise. I had to lose my weight without it because of an illness. Be glad you can do it and slam the door on those pesky negative thoughts. You can do anything you want to and what other people might say, makes them the ones who look foolish. I am proud for you. Keep up the great work. Judi


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TIMEHASCOME56 7/24/2013 5:28PM

    I know how you feel, I have lost and gained. I have decided I am in it for life...Keep at it

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Happy Easter Everyone..Whats on YOUR menu?!

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Hey everyone!!

Im sure most of you that know me..know I cook CONSTANTLY. Usually when im messaged "Whats up?" my answer is usually "oh not much..COOKIN!" So I was wondering what you all will be enjoying today. Do you give yourself a freebie day to eat what you want or did you remodel your menu to go into your diet plan? If your stuck eating somewhere do you handle your diet? I still live at home but I do all the cooking - I thought it would be a battle to talk my family into a healthier menu..but I was suprised that they were all up for it! I thought my mom would tell me that we have to stick to my Grandmas traditional menu that we have done for as long as I can remember..(plenty of difference sausages, bacon buns, cheesy broccoli bake, butter butter bacon grease butter and butter etc! Here is what I came up with..and they went for it! I hope it turns out!

Polish Sausage With Sauerkraut (had to for the men in the family)
Low Sodium Spiral Ham
Cauliflower Mash with Reduced Fat Cheddar
Corn on the Cobb
Roasted Sweet Potatoes
Baked Potatoes
Dinner Rolls
Rye Bread
Angel Food Cake Trifle w/ fat free sugar free Pudding. Strawberries, Bananas (recipe in my recipe box)

I'll let you all know how it turns out! Ive been way excited that im finally having a holiday where I wont feel guilty!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYJOANN 4/4/2010 1:56PM

    Happy Easter to you also. My daughter Tammy is fixing Roasted rosemary chicken & root vegetables. YUM.

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ITTYBITTYYI 4/4/2010 1:03PM

    That sounds really delicious!

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New Dress! Yay

Sunday, March 28, 2010

I have a special dinner coming up this Wednesday. I run a club at school (Hospitality Club) which includes culinary arts, hotel management, travel/tourism etc students. I was able to get 20 lucky students a free dinner at a restaurant in Chicago called Charlie Trotter's. Just to give you an idea of how big of a deal this is..the average cost of dinner for two at Trotter's is $1,000. The price our meal SHOULD be is $10,000!! We are going absolutely free! So needless to say we have to look all fancy. I had some nice dress pants to wear..but had zero luck finding a dress shirt i i decided..lets get a dress! I was never a dress person because i had zero confidence..felt my waist was all lumpy..and my arms were too jiggly...but now I think I can wear it and not be self conscious :) SO heres the one I picked out! I loved it in the store window..and tried to find something else but I just had to have it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

~MELANIE~ 3/31/2010 7:34PM

    Awesome dress - you look great!

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GLITTERSPARK 3/31/2010 6:35PM

    Super cute dress! Enjoy your dinner!

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LEAHANNE1989 3/31/2010 12:08PM

    Have fun

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GSREMUS5 3/28/2010 7:08PM

  Nice! Have fun!

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    Wow! Hospitality Club sounds really interesting. Would you mind posting on my page about the age of your students and how you got that started? (I know I'll never be able to find my way back to your blog!)

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P0KERS0PH 3/28/2010 6:29PM

    Love the dress!!

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MSFATAL 3/28/2010 6:12PM

    The dinner is definitely not WORTH 500$ but its definitely a good experience anyhow :) Im also glad this place doesnt believe in using butter or heavy I wont leave feeling guilty! Its one of those places that has 8 courses but each course is like..a nibble or two haha

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JAMIEK927 3/28/2010 6:10PM

    Good for you...Sounds like a great dinner coming up....Have fun!

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DEE_DEE11 3/28/2010 6:08PM

    That is so great that you have a free dinner at a high end establishment! Congrats on getting a dress; I'm hoping to be in the "dress" phase a few months down the road. Its great to see other people succeeding!

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