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Wow, I do believe in good days! I do believe in good days!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

I began to believe that waking up and not having pain was about as real as fairies. But it happened today. I don't know if it will ever happen again, but who cares right now. I feel good right now and I'm so excited about it!!

I put my armour thyroid under my tongue yesterday and today. If that is the key, I will tell anyone that will listen!

Time will tell.


Quit smoking and lower your thyroid production?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I was reading a blog by a man in the UK. He was interesting to read. Since he was the closest I had to compare to my own chaos. He made a brief comment in the form of a question. He said something about having a theory then asked... did you recently quit smoking.

YES! I stopped last December.

But I couldn't find where he elaborated on his theory. So now I'm going crazy. I want to know what his theory is. Could it have something to do with your body trying to rid itself of the toxins from smoking? Or that your body was use to fighting the toxins, which were no longer there and instead turned on your thyroid? He has been doing research for at least over a year, as far as I could tell. I have no real way of knowing. So I'll just go bang my head on the way until I get an epiphany.




Monday, May 11, 2009

So I've known I was for years. But no one took it serious, so I didn't either. This winter, my health hit the floor. And so did I. I could barely function. I was so fatigued, so cold and so confused and desperate. I kept thinking it was something I picked up, like the flu, and it would pass. I finally couldn't take it any more and went to the doctor. My thyroid condition had worsened. So even though I haven't been eating enough calories, I've been packing on the weight. It's not that I was trying to lose weight by depriving myself of calories. I just didn't have much of an appetite.

I was started on Armour Thyroid. About a month later, I'm starting to find it easier to get up and get moving. I'm less fatigued. But I still cannot even walk a block before my muscles all cramp up. My limps are swollen, I still don't have much of an appetite. And I'm certainly not "normal." But I do feel better.

I can tell that I have to be the one to figure out what I need to improve my health. Health care professionals seem to do the bare minimum. They don't seem to have a lot to tell you. They don't seem to believe in anything natural. And don't really offer extra information about how to get healthy again. Mine did better than the ones in the past. I know he cares. Perhaps there is only so much he can do or so much information he has access to...or time for.

So, since it's my health, I figure I need to educate myself. But the internet is flooded with conflicting information. A lot of people wanting to sell you miracle cures (shame on them for taking advantage of desperate unhealthy people). And a lot of opinions that I don't know if I can trust. What do I believe? What is out-dated? What is a flat out lie, just to convince me to purchase something that won't really help? What is worth trying? Some say this helps, others say that helps... I am over-whelmed.

Does coconut oil really help? does adrenal health really play a role in thyroid health? Are there really specific foods you can eat that will help and food you should avoid? Does yoga poses help?

I'd let the neighborhood kids kick me for 10 min a day, if it would make all my ugly symptoms disappear. I seriously would prefer it to what I have gone through. No one should have to endure what I have experienced. And I never, and I mean NEVER, want to live that way again. That wasn't living, it was barely surviving and it was hell.

I want to be healthy!!! If you have information that can help me, you will have my gratitude for the rest of my life! I am certain it will be a moment in my life I would never forget. If nothing else, thank you for listening. Right now, I feel no one I know, has any idea what I'm going through and it's a very lonely feeling. I want to talk about what I know, what I need, and get feedback. But I have found that no one else wants to talk about it at all. It's hard to start to talk about something so important to me, just to find it quickly dismissed.

Even just typing it here, has felt better then keeping it all inside and to myself. I always said that writing was therapeutic. :)


Is it me? Or is size/weight a big focus in general?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Since I stopped smoking, I've packed on a bit of weight. Okay, honestly I am currently much heavier than I have ever been my entire life!
It's over-whelming and sometimes depressing. But since I've put on this weight, (and I've been officially overweight about 95% of my life) I've notice a lot of focus on weight in society.

I figure I'm being self-conscience about it and just noticing it more. But TV shows, advertisements, every where... seems to have some comment about adding weight, being overweight and/or obesity. Even websites seem to have something someplace in them. I feel like it's coming at me in every direction.

I feel less attractive and this is effecting my interest in my sex life. I have seen so many large and beautiful women. But I struggle to see myself this way. I think part of it is that I feel restricted by the extra weight. I cannot move like I use to. I feel bloated and swollen. Even putting on my shoes feels like a chore. I feel like an overfilled balloon. Stressed to the point that I could burst with any further pressure, like bending. I really don't like how I feel. How do you feel good about yourself and feel beautiful again, when you feel this way? It's difficult to force myself to believe it, I don't feel it.

I've notice that I also feel more moody. I'm easily annoyed and frustrated. I use to be so happy. I don't want to feel like this any more. Is it possible to feel better now, before I am able to lose any weight? Losing weight feels like an enormously large task and so far into the future. At least enough to help me feel better about myself and more comfortable in my own body.

I feel so overwhelmed and discouraged. Since I have fibromyalgia, I'm finding physical activity difficult. The extra weight amplifies this. When I do something one day, I feel crippled the next. I want to exercise but everything seems to make me hurt so much. The pain is exhausting and depressing. I am confused as to how exactly I am to reverse this weigh gain. If I eat too much it's bad, if I eat too little it's bad. If I exercise I hurt myself. If I don't I hurt too.

I want something easy. Is there really no such thing as an easy way to get healthy. Must I suffer? Must I hurt?

Well, I can breath better so I'm not going back to smoking. Even if I am miserable, I can breath. I no longer have my chronic cough. And I'm loving that. So I either need to find a way to work off this weight, without hurting myself. Or just accept it. I prefer to work it off.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LASERENA06 3/12/2009 12:16PM

    Congratulations on quitting smoking Ė thatís fantastic! It must be encouraging to already be feeling better and healthier. I wish I could help my mother make that choice, but she is such a dedicated and heavy smoker (and it reduces her mobility so much Ė she canít walk past the driveway without getting winded).

There is SO much media stigma associated with being overweight. Like you, I try to focus more on becoming healthier. Part of that for me will involve some significant weight loss. Iím just trying to take it one day at a time and make good choices in terms of exercise and nutrition each day.

Are you doing low-impact exercising? Would that help with the pain management? My heart goes out to you. You may have to figure out some pain management techniques in order to move forward with an exercise routine, especially when you want to make exercise a habit. Hang in there Ė it will get better!

Again, so many congratulations for making such a great, positive, healthy choice by quitting smoking!!


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BEVERLYSC 3/11/2009 6:55AM

    Congratulations on your quitting smoking and turning your life around. I know that when I quit smoking back in July 08, I went through depression. I believe I was depressed because I had lost a friend -- my cigarettes. While I did not immediately turn to food, I worked up to it because I kept putting on the pounds. And those pounds only reinforced my depression ... I kept thinking here I've done something fantastic like quitting smoking only to gain weight. I suspect the same is happening to you. The focus on obesity in the media has been around for years now. I think you must now be noticing it.

The most important thing is not to get discouraged! You have done a great thing by quitting smoking. You're on Spark People and you're focusing on your health and life. THAT'S A GREAT THING! Do try Leslie Sansone's Walk at home/Walking Away the Pounds DVDs. This is one of the easiest systems to follow and it really works. Plus, Leslie gives lots of encouragement! Even if you only do a few minutes each day, you'll be surprised at how much better you feel. Those endorphins are great in helping you to fight those negative voices. They have really helped me! Please hang in there! Beverly


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GOING2LOSENOW 3/11/2009 12:46AM

    emoticon emoticonand more emoticon!

YOU CAN DO THIS! Unfortunately, it will not happen over night. It is a journey a process, and it will take time. But it is all about the baby steps. One step at a time.

Sorry to hear that you hurt with all that you do, that is no fun. Have you tried just walking, even if it is only for 5 min, either around the block, down the street or a walking video in your house ( Real Age Videos online, has a beginner Walk Away the Pounds video, Leslie even says if all you can do is 5 min, that is fine, its a start and it will help).

As you start to lose weight it will become easier and less painful. emoticon on quitting smoking, that is quite an accomplishment and will definitely help improve your health.

If there is anything I can do to help, please feel free to let me know. I will support you anyway that I can.


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By-pass surgery

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

My mom had triple by-pass surgery less than 24 hours ago. I already know I have high cholesterol. Now I'm concerned about her and her recovery as well as my own health. My pop (her husband) never recovered from his by-pass surgery. He had a stroke during the surgery and never regain consciousness. Her's seem to go well. But until a same day procedure a few days ago, she didn't even know she had heart disease or a need for this surgery.

It appears that my odds of having issues are rather high. I've already had abnormal test during a stress test. And I'm not getting any younger. So, I'm trying to decide where to go from here. I really need to make some changes, I'm sure of it. I feel overwhelmed though.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSCTRL 3/10/2009 11:44PM

    Thanks for all the support!

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MANNBAJAJ 3/4/2009 10:59AM

    Take care dear. And Prayers for your mom.

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KEEPITMOVING 3/3/2009 12:37PM

    i understand the mixed, swirling emotions. my dad had triple by-pass and other serious health issues. mom had cancer. i have high cholesterol, as do my brother and all of my cousins. we're all on drugs for it. you can only control what you eat and how you behave (jeans) and you cannot help what you inherit (genes). staying mindful on a daily basis, taking it slow, and understanding what you're thinking and feeling are very important steps to self-discovery and enlightenment. i walk this road every day. feel free to visit my sparkpage, read my challenges, and know that i fully appreciate the situation you're in and your precarious, upsetting position. we're here for your support. take good care of youself and understand that just about everything requires a choice of some kind. yours in sisterhood, nancy

emoticon emoticon

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LINDA! 3/3/2009 8:55AM

    Best wishes to your mother!! Take care of yourself!

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