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MSCHOCOLATSANTE's Recent Blog Entries

Last week update ;)

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Oh well, I have slacked on the blog haven't I ;)

Last week I took pictures that really made me feel amazed about what I have accomplished since September. Here they are!

I have some difficulty managing my energy as having more makes me overdo... but I'll get there :)

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CAROLIAN 3/5/2011 3:52PM

    looking good well done emoticon

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Eat healthy chocolate, get your health back, a boyfriend and your dream job?!?

Friday, February 18, 2011

That could well be my new campaign theme!

As I shared since September, my health has greatly improved, as I included the healthy chocolate wellness system into my weight loss program, which so far as yield to a 40 pounds weight-loss a dramatic reduction of fibromyalgia shooting pains (from 8 an hour to less than 3-4 a week) a stabilization of the global pain between 5-6 on a 10 scale (from a yoyoing 5 to 8), increase of energy. I also have been able to go without my morning and afternoon naps, enjoyed increased concentration and memory, regained ability to learn new complex things and be creative and not the least, a general feeling of calmness and optimism despite environmental life stress factors such as being unemployed and without any income.

A few weeks ago, I was debating whether, in my 2011 goal setting plan, I should include getting into a passionate relationship. For many that could be a no brainer.

In my case, I wanted to consider how disturbing this could be in my "getting my life back on track". First the inherent time and emotionally consuming "getting to know the dude" "sharing some of the self to find out if there is compatibility"... Second, being absolutely broke and not having any clothes that fit anymore, challenges the array of activities I can partake in without depending on someone else picking up the tap.

I was leaning towards the statu quo, thinking that on my way to riches and a more fulfilled life, eventually I would meet someone with the same values and, by that time I'd probably be slimier and sexier, hence more likely to find a like attractive life partner without doubting myself every second.

Of COURSE, life being its naughty self, things just went their own way. So this jaw dropping great looking, young, intelligent man popped in my life: and the calm, confident and serene self simply welcomed him. We'll see what will come out of it, but it is just fascinating how things flow smoothly when you have clarity.

And this morning, I was contemplating my unemployment situation and since my last two serious opportunity felt through after the second interview, I picked myself up and called all the agencies. A couple hours later, I got a call. Yesterday interview (that I though went horrible!) turned out into exactly the offer I was hoping for! Ten min later, another agent was calling for another option!

Of course, the link between healthy chocolate and getting a job isn't that obvious. But for me, it is absolutely connected. The regained stamina gave me the confidence that I was able to go through with an engagement; also, being able to loose that much weight, gave me a new appreciation on my ability to follow through. With the right tools, I came to realize, I can accomplish what I set myself to. Knowing myself better, how many days I can take on for work, and knowing that if I just follow that plan, I will succeed, that gave me the assurance and ground to present myself as the value I can be for an organization. I manage my health and therefore, I become an asset rather than a liability.

I radiate this self confidence, strength and serenity. This is a collateral I will take anytime.

If you want to see those results for yourself, visit my healthy chocolate site:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLIAN 2/19/2011 5:01PM

    emoticon good luck on job situation emoticon carol. dishy looking guy

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What happens between Day 15 and Day 43?

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

During challenge 1, I stopped taking pictures for 29 days, and again, during challenge 2, the same situation occurred...

To be truthful, during these weeks, i felt little improvement was made or that I was going backwards, so, in total denial, I did not take pictures. First two weeks I am motivated and doing great, and than when I see the end nearing and the fact that the objective will not be attained, I do some more effort so that "it does not look too bad", "at least some improvement were made.

Right... How you do anything is how you do everything.... I suspect I have to improve my acknowledgment of small steps and reinforcement strategies in order to boost my motivation and consistency in this critical period. Hopefully experience is learned and during next challenge I will be able to practice this new strategy.

So Today, is Day 43 of challenge #2 and I am weighting 190. Here are the pictures:


Vigil and Justify my new "friends"

Friday, February 11, 2011

Yesterday, I realized that for the last few weeks, I have been logging, but my sabotaging brain was acting out, in the background.

It was pretty insidious and was slowly but surely making progress at reinstating old lifestyle habits. At first sight, one could have thought that all was well, since I was still logging. However some symptoms did not escape the vigil I have put in place whose job is to keep me truthful.

And he had remarked a few times how I was loosely following the rules lately. He peaked at some moments when the saboteur was not on watch and pointed out some foods that I had not logged in the day before. And the saboteur would promptly awake and justify: "bah, it's minimal, just a pickle" But lately that just a pickle became "just a pirouline". Vigil would object hey a pirouline is 120 cal! And Justify would argue well, you already accepted that we go over the budget today, over 2000 cal, 120 is insignificant." And that would hit Vigil in the gut with guilt.

While assisting to that debate, I realized that in the last weeks, rather than logging in and checking where I was at at every meal, I would eat whatever and log in at night...

Since I had discounted the calorie suggestion from Spark, I had not set a new limit. counting myself happy when I was below the 2000. This insidious oblivion was playing in favor of Justify which was taking advantage of my emotional turmoils of the last few weeks (financial distress, lack of follow through with the life organizing processes I was starting to implement ruining the self confidence I was building).

One thing is for sure: Justify will not help me reach my goals. It only wants to be right and to be listen to. It could careless about anything else than its little comfort. I have to support Vigil and give him clear mandates.

And I am back on the shake this morning after several days of bah....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLIAN 2/12/2011 12:37PM

    good for you at least you realise it took me ages thinking the odd plain biscuit instead of cho one was ok but i then looked again and i was nibbling 300 extra cals a day so birds were well fed keep on going emoticon i now have fruit veg and water on the way before i reach anything else i pick up something then forget about opening cupboard to reach for crisps biccys or anything else emoticon carol

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The power of the mind

Saturday, February 05, 2011

We have incredible resources within that most of us undermine or ignore, for having been "programed" through our education childhood and the experiences (the interpretation we were taught to make out of them) that punctuated our path.

6 weeks ago, I undertook John Assaraf's brain training system. Within a week into it. I started making my bed every morning. Don't ask me why. The program does not say to make your bed! In six weeks, I have made my bed 41 out of 42 days.

During the last year, I had come to acknowledge that one of the key stones to my success depended on my being able to develop an important skill that has eluded me until now: consistency/routine.

The first step has been to start logging in my food with sparktools. However, I had not been able to transfer this habit to other aspects of my life, yet.

Well the reprogramming of my brain has allowed it to come up with a very simple strategy to acquire the habit of routine. Making my bed takes hardly any time, can be done at home, visiting or in a hotel. It is now so impressed in me that I can't step out of my room in the morning if my bed isn't done! Nobody has told me to do this. And I don't get a carrot for doing it. It is a routine.

Baby steps. My brain knows what to do to help me reach my goals and it can sequence it in a progressive way. At first it is so subtle that i might not even see what is changing. But eventually it is inevitable. All there was to to is put the right positive programming in to replace the self defeating, self destructive thoughts that had been placed in there.

We can choose new paths and make decisions that are more in agreement with what we want to think and believe. But it requires quite a lot of will power to go against the active scenario that are on behind the scenes. Talking to the subconscious mind, which controls 94% of the automatic actions and thoughts that condition our daily activity, is by far more efficient and makes change more natural and satisfying as our brains work with us, not against us.

It has been several years that I have been working on improving myself. However, I must say that these past 6 weeks have yield more than the last 10 years!

Prior to do the Brain training system, we had to do a few exercises, one of them dedicated to setting goals. Last Friday, 5 weeks into the program I had still not done it.

What was blocking me was that I did not have any goal or dreams. In fact I was scared to set them. One of the reasons was that in the past I set those based on what i thought I should want, than what I thought would make me happy, than what I thought was in the realm of the attainable and finally, I had figured it would be just better to not have hopes in order not to be disappointed.

My comfort zone was getting smaller and smaller. I was getting poorer and poorer. I was less healthy, less happy, less alive.

So i had no idea (or had a blockage?) about goals. Its hard to go somewhere if you don't know where you want to go!

This week-end, I did the MMI (millionaire mind intensive flag course for peak potential trainings) to accompany my best friend. I had done it already and was thinking that it was going to be boring, especially since i knew all the punches and the lessons.

Boy was I in for a surprise! First I must say that i stopped myself at the door and decided to live that experience with an open mind and without the "I know that" attitude that blocks you from harvesting anything. So I played and did all the exercise from where I was right now. Not where I was 18 mo before nor what I thought i should be. I did it with authenticity and coherance.

And something wonderful happened. When we ask ourselves the right questions, we find the right answers FOR THE TIME BEING.

Prior to going to the week end, I had noticed that i was getting more and more creative efficient and productive. However I had a subtle suspicion that i was held back and indecisive and had started to procrastinate.

I also had come to acknowledge an obstacle of size: I did not believe I could become wealthy and I was scared to allow myself to believe that, thinking fast forward how cynical I would be looking back at myself having these foolish thoughts.

One thing is for sure. If you don't believe in something, chances are that it won't happen or that you will sabotage yourself along the way. And how can one do whatever it takes to make it happened if one does not believe its possible?

What was puzzling though, was that when I was a teen, I accomplished amazing feat despite my little resources. So there was some potential in there but something was bottling it up.

During that MMI week-end, one of the exercise brought back several vivid memories of moments in my life where everything I held dear or worked hard for was taken away from me, regardless of whether i had been good or bad. The further I could remember was when I was at 3 years old, I had gotten my piggy banks, almost full up (there was something important that i can't remember linked to when they would be full) stolen when a robbery occurred in our home.

After this truth (life will take everything from you and any point and for no reason at all) became a hard fact for me, through several experiences of the kind, and after starting all over 3 times from scratch, I stopped picking myself up and to fight. But I am a warrior, so I needed a good excuse not to go through the ordeal of working hard to achieve something (that would be taken away, for sure). Ain't fibromyalgia a darn good strategy for my brain to justify me giving up fighting the predicament my life was under?

Monday morning, I was offered a 1000$ contract to sand floors. I just finished yesterday and, after expenses, I had 500$ to pay the rent (which i really was wondering how i was going to pay!)

I have sanded 465 sqft wood floors and applied 5 coats of finish. My body is sore from the hard work. But I don't have fibromyalgia pain. At all. I am also at 191 #.
I had 3 job offers and 2 interviews that went very well. I have managed dealing with the stress of now knowing where to park the car a friend lent me during the snow storm (each back and forth between coats of polyurethane was a risk to have to shuffle my hole in, which perspective was making my heart sink - but i would tell myself I will take what life puts in front of me and deal with it than. And I did not have to shuffle too much. And I felt overwhelmed with gratitude and thanked life.)
I also found 3 pennies.

I find it a bit difficult dealing with the food cravings. But I take one step at the time.

Baby steps are not overrated, they are the way to go!

Finally, I want to share the dream i woke up on. There was this white duck or goose, that was running so fast but with friends, I caught it. And because it snaps, i had to tie its beck. Than i was traveling with it, holding it tightly in a towel so that it would not escape as i was not sure i would be able to catch it again. Than it was hungry and i made it taste kiwi candy and it liked it very much. And after that, i held it more loosely and gave it lettuce and it was very happy and became my friend and did not try to escape anymore.

How cool is that ;)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLIAN 2/12/2011 12:50PM

    lovely hansome gander i have 5 that come to meet me twice a dat to be fed the local bakery gives me stale bread tc feed them.I takes me about twenty mins to hobble to the river i'm on crutches due to plates in feet.I do this twice a day whatever the weather if i'm late they cackle non stop till i go to them it's quicker accross the field but i take the road incase i stumble but it makes me get motivated on a morning.congrat on interviews and doing the flooring jobs emoticon emoticon emoticon couldn't find a goose

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_MAOMAO_ 2/5/2011 11:07PM

  What a neat blog, thank you. I love that dream, that is very very cool. That MMI week sounds really neat. Though it was a long time ago, that really sucks that someone would steal a kid's piggy bank. Kids I grew up with in Alaska, one year their house was robbed right before Christmas. Yep, they took all the presents. Congrats on the flooring job, that's great exercise, too!

Which job offer(s) are you going to take?


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