Thursday, December 02, 2010
I'm actually laughing because after the first successful day of the C2, well things slipped a bit.
First on Tuesday I skipped the second shake. I must say it was not for lack of trying. I was so enthusiast that I decided to create a few recipes.
It had been a long time since I created something out of the shake and i wanted to give myself a few more choices of presentation of my twice a day meal replacement. Unfortunately, I have yet to master the strict contingencies linked with this complete food. There is a fragile equilibrium in the proportions of the shake constituents and the whey/raw cacao combo can become easily nasty and bitter when associated in the wrong proportions with additional foods.
- This is a big issue; I cannot reduce the shake powder proportion to reduce its impact on the final dish since the goal is to eat the half cup of that powder twice a day.
- I cannot add too much food for practical reasons: someone on a weight loss journey is trying to reduce the size of their portions. Having a too big meal can hinder this process leading to reducing the stomach size.
- I also must be careful choosing foods that will not add too many calories to the meal replacement: so that the daily calorie budget will provide enough room for a regular sensible meal and a couple of snacks.
- Although I usually try my recipes in half batches there is a lot more failures than successes and it is costly to dump a screwed up mix. Several times, I tried to force myself consume a creation turned bad but it was making me nauseous and I did not want to create an adverse mind association/imprint towards the product that is my twice a day meal. So I end up dumping the stuff most of the time. Which is very costly!
So back to my creation evening... 4 atrocious attempts with undrinkable results had me give up for that particular meal!
Than Wednesday, I cave in and watched NCIS live. My programming the VCR has not been successful and i have yet to take my lesson 2. So I went to bed at 10:30 and to sleep, at midnight, again. At least there is some consistency in there.
Its weird. When I achieve one goal, in my brain, its like I put a check mark on a list and go on to the next item. The problem is that this system is not working with recurrent stuff. I should actually get in the habit to print the next day check list (instead of relying on my arbitrary mind) which would include the recurrent stuff...
Anyway. I want to finish the darn electricity today. And I must not forget that I work tomorrow morning!!!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Well, I must say I am very surprised how smooth it went! I ate my 2 shakes, remained within the calorie budget and put myself in bed at 9pm. That was very surprising how no inner voice of protest cringed at that. Of course I did not put the iPhone down until midnight but I can live with that. For the most part I was browsing to install apps to learn a new language and find free ebooks so that i trade my play hypnothising games for something that will rebuild my general culture - and self esteem. Its sad to be part of this world with such a limited hold of all the marvels that were accomplished and discovered by our forfathers and contemporary people.
Ah! I thinkered with the VCR. AND found the schedule of my favorite shows! This, in itself IS an accomplishment since I always said I had no interest in learning that skill. But i really wanted to give myself a chance to reach my 10 pm goal.
Unfortunately, this morning i found that it did not record the movie but since there are a few recalls this week, I will take the INSTRUCTIONS manual and reattempt the programming thing :) I'm dumbfounded to actually be thrilled by THAT!
My conclusion after this first day: having clearly defined goals and markers removes the questionning, doubt, debate and all that head stuff that keeps you from JUST DOING IT. For instance here the markers are in bed at 9 so that means the last show i can watch is the 8pm one. So the others have to be programmed. If they have to be programmed, i have to learn to program them.
Said like that sounds ridiculous and trivial. But not having defined going to bed early would have not made me take these steps.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Looks pretty hype, doesn't it.
90 for another 90 days of Xoçai chocolate high antioxidant wellness system
30 for releasing 30 pounds of toxins and fat to the Light that will turn it into energy
10 for the new healthy lifestyle skill of going to sleep at 10 (which to be completely clear with myself, means that i must be in bed at 9 if I want to continue my playing on the iphone habit.
I don't know if I am really psyched for it but i won't even go in there. Cuz raising doubts is a sure way to demotivation so off to this second Chapter of my conquest of my health.
Oh and I'm pretty proud of the art I made for this challenge; I might just print it as a poster and reminder! Each weight on the diving belt is 3 pounds :)
Sunday, November 28, 2010
First off, the results: 24 pounds less
Starting weight: 226
Ending weight: 202
Starting and ending measurements: 23 cm less
Upper Arm 37...34
Now that being out of the way lets explore how I "feel" right now.
I must say that I am conscious that my perception is deeply tainted by the fact that I am depressed, mostly caused by the stressful economical situation I am in. However, I must give myself credit for the fact that I am not letting myself "lose it", despite the fact that I feel like giving up on most everything. I try to keep active everyday and I am not allowing myself to nap despite the urge to. I know i do not sleep well but I also know that napping my depressed self out is not really going to make things improve.
Now by active, i mean taking a shower and doing a few chores and tasks. Nothing extraordinarily productive but nothing not productive. I think I should write down what i do to get a better image. I think i do not realize how much i really do, just what i don't do.
What is really missing that would help me would be to do some aerobic exercise that is suitable with fibromyalgia. That would help sleeping and reactivate my metabolism which is slowing down again.
The cold and pain are a deterrent right now. I think I do not pay enough attention to the pain while it is affecting my motivation in the background. Tracking the pain level would also be a good thing to do. And I could determine how to fight it.
As I am typing all that I feel like i just threw a bunch of "must and should do" that just are going to pile on the mountain of things I carry on me that i am not doing.
I also realize that I have been logging without a fault since my last blog entry. Which is a success in itself.
Proof that when I put something sky high in priorities, it does work and the results follow.
Routines are acquired painstakingly in my case. So the deal is to add something new without letting go of the previous one.
So what should be the next thing... I lost the habit of going to bed early because of (and i am ashamed of it) some tv shows that run from 10 to 11 and than i play some bejewel or spider for almost 1 hour more... I must learn to use the VCR. and make that tool work for me. That way I can watch my favorite shows early with my dinner that i could than take earlier and go to bed early. Knowing the show schedule will avoid me sitting in front of the tv several hours each evening to be sure to catch those i want to watch. That will in itself allow me to tailor a routine that is more suitable for me (and allow me to avoid the darn tv commercials and the horrid food ads)...
I am being candid here and not really proud of being so trivial. I wish I was more fabulous and exciting with cultural or educated hobbies but i'm not. I look forward to vedge in front of the TV and phase myself out.
Somehow... I know inside this is because of lack of energy and pain. It was years that I did not watch any tv whatsoever and did not hypnotize myself on the internet or some iphone game. Yet i was not bored.
Inertia is calling upon me like a magnet... Oh well... i could write endlessly in that tone. This is called the depressed tone. I know it well. And I also know that no good analysis or serious decision and action taking will result from me bla-bla-ing here so off I go to do some more of these chores so that at least I'll have a little to be proud off before the day ends!
Oh... by the way, tomorrow Challenge 2 will start whether i like it or not.
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