Saturday, November 13, 2010
204 still. Have not logged in any this week.
It would be pretty lame to finish this challenge still in The 200...
It's upsetting to reckon that if i don't track all ends break loose.
At the same time, these tools existence are the proof that this is a common obstacle for most and that the real failure doesn't lie in a lack of willpower and incompetency to pursue the regimen but in failing to use this aid.
If there is one thing this first challenge must have me accomplish, it's making logging a routine. It was fun at first, as i was discovering the tools. Now is time to make the transfert from noveltie interest to Habit.
As T. Harv Eker says: we are beings of habit; how we do one thing is how we do everything.
Therefore nailing down the habit of logging is my key to achieving more.
Friday, November 05, 2010
Getting really close to change that 2 for a 1!
Well this week i have not come here at all... Did not log my food.... and i did do stupid food choice. I was in emotional distress. Its amazing to notice how sollicited we are and how easy it is to go lower and lower when your vulnerable and your weakness is food for comfort. It stroke me even more when at the pump while the tank was filling a message was scrolling: come and try our new lemon raspberry muffins!
You get home and Minute Maid has left a card board hanger to your door handle with coupons for their new cinnamon buns.
Every eight minutes the tv suggests new ways to fill your mouth and like a Pavlov dog, you find yourself salivating to these bribes. When you manage to recover some sanity and visualize the taste and feelings of that food, you know its not that great, but you chase that thought as fast as the next commercial pops up.
Interestingly enough, that melt down did not occur in the first weeks of my challenge but now, near the end.
In fact, a compound of factor created that state of anxia that led me to loose my serenity through this. The very delicate financial situation I'm in, the cold rainy whether, my best friend in the hospital and having to help with the kids and such added to my already overloaded program (renovations neverending story) and physical exhaustion, led to being prone to emotional vulnerability.
I was feeling much better and of course made the mistake of not pacing myself enough. Since I have not had the need for napping in a long time, and having to wake up at dawn to take the kid to school, I aggravated my rest deprivation. Lack of sleep, feeling of overwhelmness... Plus wanting to finish faster, i would negelect to take my second shake a day or nutritious snacks.
So at some point the dams had to give and they did. It started with a whole bag of KETCHUP Lays... The next day, I was having eczema AND SHOOTING pains. Had not have had those in weeks!...
But I could not stop there. Had some more of these hazardous snowballs I had made the week before. And than 2 commercial mac and cheeze.
By thursday, I had about 4 shooting pains per hour.
Thank God, my friend was able to come out of the hospital and take over the driving to school of her kid. I know she is not that well. But I am crapped out. It sucks. Cuz she can be very sick or die from high blood pressure and cardiac problems (she has genetic predisposition and HBP and preeclampsia was the reason she was hospitalized in the first place) while I won't die from fibromyalgia though it can be torture. Nevertheless, I had to rest. In fact after I dropped her son at school Thursday morning and helped her with the groceries shopping, I was shaking and having chest pain from exhaustion. So she took me home. I felt crappy knowing that here BP was still not stabilized, but I was in poor shape myself.
So I went to Basha had an enormous (but healthy) brunch of taouk rice veggies, salad and hummus, went home, crashed in bed and slept profoundly for over 3 hours.
I woke up later on somewhat refreshed. cleaned up some of the absolute dusty mess i live in right now. Than I had a shake, and later on, at 10 at night, a steak and corn on the cob. OK... that was not any form of frugality. However it had a calming effect on my "I need I need" anxia and need for comfort. I was as full as an egg and went to bed and slept like a log. And had managed to loose another 3 pounds despite the salt the water and the slips.
Today, thank God again, I was feeling refreshed, did not have any shooting pain and had my morning shake. I still have more pain than a couple weeks ago; as i said its freezing rainy outside and that really does not help. My finances are still not in a good state. But, sleep is, after proper food, the best thing you can give your body and your mind! So I will try and better pace myself, for my greater good and my continuing success.
My friend told me... wow, you lost 26 pounds in 69 days, not being strict at all. Imagine all that you could have lost if you would have been strict!
My reply? If I would have been strict, I would probably have abandoned by now. Compassion has been the key in this challenge. And the reason why, for the first time, its working.
As Alex Mandossian puts it " Sloppy success is better than perfect mediocrity!"
Friday, October 29, 2010
Having passed the 2/3 milestone of this challenge I reckon I have made tremendous progress on many aspects of my health and lifestyle. Of course I am still not the everyday routine girl (I have a lot of life left to acquired that ) So, drum roll...
207! Yep... despite that most days this week I only did the shake once a day (I had a need to chew) I still lost 3 pounds. I am so excited cuz I am definitely on my way to get out of the horrible 200+
For the purpose of the picture story, I am going to use that weird bathing suit throughout the challenge. This morning I had to tighten the strings!
I am not out of breath climbing the stairs up to my apartment
I am not sweating like a pig when I do any bending
I eat lots of foods that used to give me eczema without much issues
I can bike up the hill from the shopping mall without being in panic out of breath
It does not bug me so much to wash the tub or to take out the garbage
I naturally wake up earlier and have established a bed routine
Haven't had any psoriasis in ages
I had not realized that progressively with the shake the structure of my eating had changed completely. Since the shake is like dessert for me, I remove that item from my diet without much thought. But skipping twice a day sweet and fat intakes has made a whole lot of difference. However, for the last few weeks, I had been craving those two-bites cup cakes... I did not give in to buy it, knowing that I would eat the entire 12 pack in a day. I also knew that what i really wanted was the icing ! A few times it crossed my mind to make some icing but since I did not have confectionery sugar, it stayed at that.
Well.. 3 days ago, I bought some coco milk and icing sugar. That evening, I made "snow balls" by mixing icing sugar, cream of coco and coco milk together. I ate what... 1/3 cup? of that. Enough to get beurked out of it
At three am I was wondering why I could not sleep that night. Than it stroke me after weeks not eating much sugar, let alone highly refined one, my body was just completely jolted! Duh. so now i have a plastic container in the back of the fridge of that thing i look at as a hazard!
So here are today's pic and the compare!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
210. Nope, the scale does not show any pound shed. But I think I know why. I suspect I have put on a bit of muscle mass. I feel my butt tighter and my waist a little more cut.
I have not tracked diligently this week as I spent most of it being very busy with renovation or paperwork. However, I do not recall any catastrophic binging. I know I have had a lot of trouble getting the water in and my bladder was not really happy. That is an unfortunate consequence of the fall for me. I get cold and have a hard time drinking. I also did not take the shake twice a day everyday. Maybe 2-3 times. The other times, I was longing for solid food.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
I stopped feeling fat. I feel normal.
I even think of myself as a desirable person. What a change being on the downhill slope makes!
For the last 3 years, I cringed when thinking of my physical appearance, saying "my big fat self" when referring to me... Having been a model in my youth was not to help.
The last three years, every attempt at loosing weight ended up with a weight GAIN (not muscle mass mind you). The medication for fibromyalgia just aggravated that tendency. I had reached a point where I had concluded that I better get used to that figure cuz it was impossible to loose ever again.
The pictures I look at of my body right now are not so different yet. But HOPE makes a whole new set of rules. And two more very important factors play in. Over all, my PAIN levels have dropped dramatically and stabilized. I oscillate between 4 and 6 and I have not had a shooting pain in 2 weeks. I call shooting pains that electric shock like feeling that make you grasp for air when you hit your "funny bone"; I used to have them regularly, about 5 a day on a regular basis and up to 15 per hour in crisis mode.
So I INHABIT my body more thoroughly and it allows to feel nice stuff as well!
Thirdly, my energy levels are much greater than they were, between 6.5 and 7 consistently. That means that I accomplish things rather than start them and get discouraged and overwhelmed in the midst of it. I do feel overwhelmed right now but its mostly because I have undertaken to much at the same time so I'm trying to get things done. Feeling that you can accomplish things bring up your SELF CONFIDENCE; anyway it does for me.
So HOPE, INHABITING (or self re-appropriation) , SELF CONFIDENCE are the 3 amazing collateral effects of my antioxidant weight loss/wellness challenge at this time.
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