Today is going good. I look awful but can only do so much. I am doing so good fighting the Food Demon. Maybe giving it a name helped. But you guys and spark deserve some credit too. I am more motivated than I have been in a long time. Well I need to go get started on my weekly pot of soup.Thank you all for your support and encouragement. I truly couldn't do it with your help.
Oh If you hear sound but no picture just come back later.It takes a long time for it all to show but it will.
I am so proud of myself.I did it again.I stayed in my calorie range.Actually I have been a little under both days. I did not eat non stop last night. Again I saved something from supper.This time it was some of my salad. Then I had my soup.I did hit the tomatoes again but that was fine.I was tempted but just told the food demon to leave me alone. When I went to bed and couldn't sleep I thought I was doomed but I didn't eat. It would have counted on today if I had as it was after midnight. Today will be harder as it is our errand and grocery day. Means I will be eating lunch out so will have to watch calories closer.Need supper to be low cal. I will figure it out.
It has been very rainy the last couple of days and it looks like another day today. My new veggie plants are loving it.
I took my nails off last night as I need a new set and it doesn't hurt as much when I do it.I hate going to get them done but glad when it is done.I tried to do them myself a few weeks ago and they just kept breaking and splitting.Probably because of all meds I take.
I did not make it to doc.It was so stormy and Mr Worrywart was concerned about me being able to get into office if it was storming.So to keep him from worrying I rescheduled. He worries about me too much now so I don't want to add more.
The birds are very noisey this morning.I think it is the weather.They like it too.
I do enjoy checking out the video blogs.Thet are very inspirational to me.Some are sad,some are inspirational and some are just fun and uplifting. I don't remember the name but one had me almost laughing out loud.It was so cute.A lady was dancing around her living room with her two boys dancing too.The boys looked to be about 8 and 10. She got a great workout and had fun time with boys.The sad ones should me how fortunate I am and make me count my blessings even more.And the one of people who have lost over 100# show me I can do it.
I will be doing one tomorrow.I just need to find something special I need today.
Ok I need to get my shower and be ready to go when Bill gets home.
I stayed in my calorie range for first time in I don't know when.In fact I was a little under which was even better.It was 1397 for the day. My range is on the high side as I thought it would ease some pressure to have it higher and I was just wanting to stay under 2000.So I set it up to 1600 to 1800 from the 1500 to 1600 I had.
But I did good and partly because of all your comments yesterday. i liked the reference to the food demon by Marijane and I used the phrase several times when talking to myself.I kept telling myself I was not going to let the food demon rule me. I can't see me ever not eating in the evening.But I can plan for it and control it. I can't eat tiny bites and be satisfied.Or drink water and fill full.Doesn't work for me.But what I did last night was save part of supper for later.It was a every man for himself night.I fixed a big pan of chopped cabbage,squash,cauliflower and shrimp with some chicken broth and tomato sauce and let it simmer til veggies done. I used the leftovers to make a soup snack later.Just added some frozen okra and broth. I really like having soup at night as it feels filling. But in order to stay out of buttered crackers etc I worked on the tomatoes. From 6pm to 1am I ate 6 tomatoes and 1/2 cucumber which was less than 200 cal. Plus the soup. That was great for me.
Spark was what helped me.Your comments,the other blogs I read,my team pages,and the new listing of all video blogs. The two byJespah really helped.Especially when I realized how much she had lost.I checked out her spark page and she is amazing. She has lost 154 pounds.Her before and after pictures look like 2 different people.
I see my heart doc this afternoon and I know he isn't going to be happy that I gained some weight back.He won't fuss at me.Just give me the sad look which is worse.He is so understanding and has said many times he knows how hard it is for me to lose being so inactive.
My new little garden is doing great.Much better than first one I tried. Bad news is that the snake is back.I saw him yesterday out at the feel good corner.He was inside the big green plant that sits in the old fountain. He stuck his head out and then went back in plant.Will get bug man back out He really is harmless but if he came up on me unexpectedly I could hurt myself bad.
So I better go shower and get dressed.Lawn man is coming to mow. I won't say sun is shining as when I did it yesterday it went away
Here is how to get to the listings for all spark video blogs
First go to top of your page or any page that has the menu across the top.Look on top right side for where it says
2 Then Community Home
3 Then community member blogs
4 Then look for where it says Explore Video Blogs
I now have page on my desktop like I have my spark page and nutrition page.Makes it easier and faster to find.
Thank you again for all your support and encouragement and tips etc.You are the best.No doubt about it.
Strange title for a blog. If you haven't figured it out I am angry at myself. I know I am always telling people to be kind to themselves and I try to treat myself kindly as well. But last night was another bad night of eating. The closest calorie count for "after"9pm is around 1520 cal.More than all day. hard to believe.Can't be done.Trust me it wasn't hard at all. That is one can of store bought mushroom soup,a pack of very buttered crackers,2 small yogurt and I just remember two small containers of salmon which is another 160 calories. So the total is closer to 1700 just at night. Why?? If I could answer that it wouldn't happen.Oh I know.There are some of you sitting back thinking i could never do that.What a shame.She must not want to lose. BUT I also know there are some of you that have done the same thing and asked the same question.Why. I talked about us all being intelligent people and we are.So how can we do something so stupid. How many of you have sat down and ate a whole box of cookies.Or a bag of chips and dip.Or cheese and crackers etc etc.If you now or have ever weighed over 150# you have done this.
I am not beating myself up about this.I am of course aggravated at myself. I am very aware of this problem and start each day off with good intentions.But as I tell my kids.Good intentions don't mean crap unless you do some action.Talk is cheap.Actions speak louder than words.
So my main goal for myself is to put some action going and as Susan Powter used to say . Stop the insanity. I will not eat non stop at any time.And the over eating at night HAS TO STOP. I can do this.I have done harder things. And I am the only one that can do this. This is in fact nothing compared to other things I have done in my lifetime. I hate anyone having control of me and it is time for me to stop letting food boss me around.I am the boss. So take that. food temptation!!!!
Wow. I feel so much better now. Actually I feel pretty good.
We sure are a crazy bunch of people but we are not quitters. As long as we don't quit trying we have not failed and I am not going to fail.
Ok I am off to do more sparking now that I have vented. I hope I didn't spoil anyone's day. Sun is shining outside and I have so much to be thankful for.
Video will be slow to show. Sorry about the abrupt ending but ran out of time. I had a lot to ramble about.I need a hair cut badly.If you look at my sideburns you can see the grey.My hair is full of grey hair but doesn't show up much.Bill was teasing me and I assured him there were two things I would never do.Dye my hair or lie about my age.I earned all my grey hairs and am thrilled I made it to another birthday. Ok Hope you enjoy my corny video. I still close my eyes a lot but getting better.