Tuesday, March 03, 2009
I will warn you I am in a crappy mood.Correction-- A very crappy mood.
When I started working in a power plant one of my first chiefs was one of the most prejudiced red necks around. But he was always fair to me. He taught me two good lessons that helped me make it 21 years in a mans working environment,
One day I was having trouble opening a big valve as he walked by.He stopped and helped me and then he said.
Remember this-- If you walk up to a valve and can't open it.they will say it is because you are a woman. And if a man walks up to same valve and can't open it they will say there is something wrong with the valve.
But the best was this--It only takes one "Ah Sh-T" to take away all your "Attaboys"
Well I have a giant A S last night. I not only didn't make my goal of not eating after 10 I probably consumed more calories then than all day. So all the good work was down the drain and my attitude stinks today.I know it will pass but right now I am tired of the whole mess.I am tired of taking one step forward and 3 back.I am tired of telling myself to be kind to myself and start over.I am sick of starting over.I am tired of it being a new day.I am tired of failing.I want to continue. I did great for almost 5 months and the last two have been crap and constant struggle and pep talks to myself.
Whew I feel better now. I know I can quit but I have to say every once in awhile that this whole process stinks.But there is no easy way to do this.And I have never not done something because it was hard. So it is back to the grind today.
On a lighter note I did try the pluot fruit and it was very good.It is a plum / apricot mix. The papaya was nasty to me.
Ok Folks I do feel better now.I think venting and sometimes crying and sometimes feeling sorry for ourselves is a cleansing and helps us to move forward.Better to admit it than to just stew about it. I do try to stay in an up mood but can't sometimes.
Hope you are all having a good day.I plan to have a much better day