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MRSSGGERHARDT's Recent Blog Entries

sorry for the lack of updates!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Hey everyone. I am super sorry for the lack of updates. Surgery went really well for the most part. Healing was faster than I thought. Haha. I got kicked out like a week or two after surgery when I was still healing. I now live an hour away from home with my sister, her husband and my fiance. :) I am currently looking for a job. It's very hard to find one around here. It's a small town with not many places hiring. Mainly factories around here. Like the Blow Pop Charm factory. Haha. Um, and a Ben & Jerry's factory. Um, my sister and her husband have been out of state all week, so Aaron and I had the house to ourselves, which was nice because we actually got to be a little goofy and stuff. I am actually about to get a little sleep before I have to get up and clean. My sister comes back tomorrow. What else did I need to say...oh yeah. I am excited for Aaron to move his bed in the house so him and I can finally sleep on a bed together and be comfy. We've slept on the floor all week and couches since we moved in. Well, I hope everyone is doing well. :D I will update later. :P
Me recently!:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DARWHOHOO 6/15/2012 7:46AM

    Hi Sammy so glad to know you are doing well ang healing.

You pic is beautiful!!


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In the hospital

Thursday, May 17, 2012

I am currently sitting my room with my fiance and our friend. I have been here since 10pm last night. I am having surgery tomorrow. Laparoscopic gallbladder surgery. You can read about it here:

Today I had a tube stuck down my throat so they could take out some smaller stones that were in my system or something. My throat is still sore. It only took about 30 minutes they said. I hope everything goes well tomorrow. I'm terrified at the moment. My mom and older sister are there for me, my He is all about money, money, money. Never asked how I was. He was trying to find a way out of me having this done so he didn't have to spend money. Makes me so mad. Then my best friend of 6 yrs WILL NOT COME SEE ME! It made me mad. I hope you all have a good night. I need prayers. :) Bye for now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TA2UDMOMMA0711 6/15/2012 3:12AM

    Hey! You are having what I have to get done in a few weeks! Hang in there and I hope you recovered well! Best wishes for ya

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DARWHOHOO 5/22/2012 10:24AM

    Hiya Sammy,

How was the surgery? Hope you have an emoticon day


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DARWHOHOO 5/18/2012 10:37AM

    I hope all goes well with the surgery emoticon

And no worries we'll be here for you

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AVANELL 5/18/2012 7:49AM

    Praying that your surgery goes well and you will be at peace about it. May you feel the Lord's arms around you holding you safely while you are in surgery.

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Okay the happy update

Monday, May 14, 2012

See, my fiance makes me happy :P

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DARWHOHOO 5/14/2012 8:21PM

    Big Bang Theory is emoticon

Imma glad you are feeling better. I'm happy for you that your fiance is so supportive.

If i were drinking that stuff I'd gulp it all straws!


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TRULYVISIBLE 5/14/2012 8:05PM

  Get prunes to eat and that will help your problem. Also a salad a day with leafy greens should keep you regular.

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My fiance being odd

Monday, May 14, 2012

Okay, this is my fiance wanting to show himself to you all. He also wants to show off his earrings. :P I am about to upload the second part of it now. :) So, right after this is the next half of this. He had to go eat so I had to cut it short.


Depressed now

Monday, May 14, 2012

I officially hate myself. I really do. I can not believe my weight. I hate, hate, hate myself right now. I need help. :(

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARCELP 5/14/2012 4:25PM

    We all have our moments and that is alright, but donot get stuck in that moment. I had to learn how to love myself, that is where your self-confidence comes from. You cannot depend on no one giving you the ok because it may never come. You have to be able to look at yourself and say hey I am someone special and nobody can take that away from me. I love me.

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SHAKETOL 5/14/2012 3:53PM

Look everyone is telling you are beautiful. You dont seem to believe it. You sound depressed and I suggest you get some help now. I mean now. You need to love yourself and I understand that its not an easy process, but there is help out there. I know I have been there. Wishiing you happiness.

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HRIVERO 5/14/2012 2:44PM

    I understand where you're coming from, but keep your chin up! You're beautiful, and you'll get there, I promise.

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DARWHOHOO 5/14/2012 2:35PM

    First of all I APPLAUD YOU for feeling what you feel and for sharing such an intimate emotion. emoticon

Secondly....I know what you mean!! I used to feel so uncomfy being naked in front of my guy and when I shower I quickly put clothes on even when I was alone.

Now I have started to look at myself naked everyday in the mirror. I see the things I don't like...the fat rolls, jelly thighs, the tummy...and trust me I can go on. Then I try find and look at one thing I like the skin tone at my breasts or the curve of my shoulders (I've found 2 so far) and I try to think about that throughout the day when I begin to feel bad about how I look.

I've been doing that for a month now. At first it was terrible to look at myself in the mirror, but I wanted to get a reality check on my size and I wanted to have a realistic (not imaginary) view of my size. So far it has helped where now I look in the mirror and I am not as grossed out about how I look as I used to be and I believe it will get better. Maybe you can try that. And as CHIRPBIRD says don't stop exercising even if it's 5 mins a day inside (I work out in my room most times).

We feel your pain just keeping on keeping on emoticon

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CHIRPYBIRD 5/14/2012 2:05PM

    Oh, You are gorgeous. Try not to be unhappy, although I know it's easier said then done.

Careful with dieting and all that. I got obsessed with diets and not being thin enough two years ago and got really down as a result (had to go on the anti-depressants).

The best thing is to eat healthly (i.e. veg, fish, fruit etc... breakfast lunch dinner, some naughty stuff ) and find a sport that you like, like running or walking.

Running is free. You can take your i-pod put your favourite music on and you get the fresh air and the view outside.
It's also good for the mind.

My friend got me into running a few years ago when he explained to me, that you don't have to be fit. In fact, all you have to do is start 5 mins every two days, then build it up to 15 mins, then 20 mins. When you start to build up to 45 mins (usually takes about a month), then every minute after the 40 mins, you start to burn long term stored fat really really rapidly, like say you run 40 mins, then the 10 mins extra or 5 mins extra you run will use up some of the long term stored fat and turn it into muscle. He told me, that it doesn't matter if you run so slowly that you feel really silly, provided you run for more than 15 mins, then you will burn the fat and get fit.

But, let me say this, you are pretty and gorgeous! And you don't look fat, maybe if you want to tone up, then exercise and eat healthily (not dieting crazy, just normal portion sizes).

Maybe you temporarily have body dysmorphia (like when you think you are ugly and you hate the way you look). You are gorgeous and maybe you just need to do some work on the inner self (you could do CBT, cognitive behavourial therapy - I did that for a while and it really helped, it's about thinking why you are thinking this, rather than automatically assuming what you are thinking is right)

As for weight, try not to get so stressed about it and not focus on it. There are athletes (like 80-100 kg) that weigh a lot because of their muscle weight and these people are super fit.

Also, don't cut out the carbs and all the fat from your diet because that can lead to getting down and getting depression. Unsaturated fats are good in non-excessive quantities (olive oil, nuts, fish oil etc).

I suppose what I do is, I have a big breakfast (bowl of cereal), snacks - fruit as much as I like during the day, lunch (mostly carbs - loads of rice or potato) and dinner (more protein than carbs). Avoid super fried foods, but you can have them once in a while, and have boiled things and put things like turmeric, paprika, mixed herbs, onion and garlic (well then I'm a bit mediterrenean when it comes to food).

I think you just need try and distract yourself from thinking about your body image as a negative thing. Go to the cinema, go for walks, play with animals, go to see some gigs and you'll feel better.

Wish you all the best and hope you get better about feeling good about yourself. emoticon

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CHIRPYBIRD 5/14/2012 2:04PM

    Keep positive. :)

Comment edited on: 5/14/2012 2:06:25 PM

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