Friday, May 25, 2012
I have been on Sparkpeople for just over a year now. I dont have a great story in terms of weightloss to tell, in fact if you look at what I weighed then and what I weigh now it actually shows that in all that time, I gained a pound! This is not strictly true, I did actually lose almost 20lb at one point and I was very very proud that I had managed to achieve that. I am very proud of EVERYTHING that I have achieved in the past year.
'So if you are a pound heavier than you were a year ago, what are you so proud of?' I hear you ask. SO many things! When I first started doing this I was a young obese woman who felt like a failure, someone who had little to no confidence, hated the way she looked and frequently allowed herself to be walked over.....NO MORE!! Am I completely cured of my obsession for what people think of me? No. Am I the most confident person on the planet? No BUT I am definatly on the right path to fixing all of the above and more and that to me is better than any number on the scales.
I have taken a couple of breaks from this site recently and this is when I regained my weight. I needed to concentrate on other areas of my life and so that is what I did. I actually figured the weight is the least of my problems and accepted that it wasnt a problem to put this on the back burner for a while. A year ago looking at all my problems as a whole would have sent me into a panic, it would have overwhelmed me and I would have broken down...not since being on this site! For the first time in my whole life I didnt have to fix everything NOW. I didnt panic, instead I took my problems and tackled them one by one. I still have plenty and believe me I have a LONG way to go...but this doesnt scare me any more. For once I actually feel in control and that in itself is definately something to be proud of.
I have had quite a few changes in my life recently with things like health and money, general ones that I dont really want to get into but there are a few changes however that I dont mind shouting from the rooftops! - like in terms of tackling my confidence issues. I have been forcing myself into situations that I would normally avoid. Anyone who knows me knows I dont do anything by myself I am too self concious. A couple of weeks ago I joined a gym with a friend (previously I had exercised at home because I couldnt bring myself to go in and join one alone)and although I didnt join alone I did go a few days later and do a workout...alone! This may not be much for anyone else but this is a huge step for me so I am very proud of myself!!
Another thing to be proud of ( and the main reason for gaining my weight back I believe!) is that 73 days ago I gave up smoking ...cold turkey! It was a struggle but wow it was worth it! Im feeling so much healthier and things taste and smell so much better. I am so so proud of myself for this I have never ever managed to get past a few days before but 73 days is unbelievable and I will never ever touch another cigarette again. Ever.
The main things that I have got out of the past year is that worrying solves nothing! Beating yourself up only makes things worse and if you want something bad enough you will fight for it! So here I am again a year on fighting for that goal weight. I KNOW that I will achieve it this time and keep it! Do I feel bad that I have regained the weight and have to start again? NO! I am so proud of where I have been and cannot wait to see where I am going! This has been a rollercoaster ride and Ive learnt so much about myself. I needed to do those things to be where I am now and I cannot wait to see what my future brings.
Again I thank sparkpeople for helping me realise I am worth it and my beautiful spark friend shellybabe2 who has been with me every step of the way you are amazing
Keep pushing forward, we can all do this one step at a time
Friday, February 03, 2012
I have spent a while away from Sparkpeople as some of you will have noticed. Its been a bit of a rough time for me and various things in my life became very stressful. I didnt leave because I gave up, I didnt leave because I didnt want this anymore, I left because being on here has taught me that first and foremost you must take care of yourself before making drastic changes and take things one step at a time. Sparkpeople has never been far from my mind and I know that no matter how many times I need to take some time out and reassess things or just get some headspace, I will always come back because life is so precious and this website is the key to pushing forward and making solid permenant changes for the better.
There are so many wonderful people on here from all walks of life, all here for one reason - to make a positive change. I am proud to say that I am one of those people and I thank those who have helped me and continue to help me because you are what makes this website so special and you are what keeps people pushing forward even when they feel like they cant.
I have gained a little while I have been away but nothing to drastic and I truly believe that is down to Sparkpeople. Before all of this, a break from a healthy lifestyle would have been filled with chocolate, chinese, pizza and pretty much anything else I could get my hands on! This time was different. There were some really dark and stressful moments, but I pushed through remembering all the way that ultimately a healthy lifestyle is the key to getting out of it all. To have more energy, think things through clearly and that eating my body weight in chocolate will not change a thing...except maybe my scales - in the wrong direction! Im not going to lie Christmas was full of naughty foods and drinks but I still had some kind of control, even if it wasn't complete control it was enough to push me through and remember that I wouldnt feel this way forever.
If you are just joining this website for the first time and it seems like a mountain of information that is never going to sink in or that it is going to be impossible - dont. Baby steps are the key to making this work. Changing one little thing at a time will get you where you want to be and make your life a more positive and brighter place. I used to think I needed to do it all and do it now for me to lose weight and feel happier about myself, this is not true. Being overweight and under confident didnt happen overnight and neither will reversing it all.
Being here has taught me that I can do anything I want to do. If I take it one step at a time and work hard I can achieve anything and you can too! Dont ever pressure yourself into thinking you need to be perfect at this, all you need to do to succeed is never quit! Dont feel guilty about taking a break to get your head straight or eating the wrong thing or not doing enough exercise now and again because all of it is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Celebrate each and every achievement - however small! Every healthy thing you do counts towards a healthier, happier future. Positivity is the key and I will continue to push forward and keep trying with a smile on my face!
Thank you Sparkpeople, for making me see that I am worth the effort, that I can do this whether it be in giant leaps or tiny steps - I will get there. Thank you for helping me find some lovely people, people who have taught me things and picked me up when I needed it. Thank you for showing me that I am not alone in all this. Sparkpeople is a big part of my life and I am here to stay. Even if I do 'vacation' for a little bit here and there, the spark is still with me and will never leave.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
So I've been back from my holiday for almost a week now, it was lovely down in sunny Weymouth. The kids thoroughly enjoyed themselves, though there was one small set back at the start with my youngest son as he woke at 3am on the first night with a stomach bug and it lasted for the first 2 days poor thing not nice! He more than made up for it the rest of the time though and it turned out to be a lovely week! Almost too lovely....
...during this week away I consumed far too much food and my mum was kind enough to babysit a couple of nights so alcohol was also consumed!
The bad food I can remember having was Fish and chips (best tasting fish and chips on the planet I swear if I moved to Weymouth I would be far bigger than I am!), a cone of chips on the beach (nothing better really!), ice cream (mr whippys and little pots of ben and jerrys throughout the week), full english breakfast (only probably 2 of the days I did quite well with breakfasts), curry (the only word I can think of for this is wow!) a cornish pasty (again wow and got to be done really lol)and probably a few other nibbly bits Ive forgotten! I did do a fair bit of walking on this holiday but I knew there would be a gain when I returned!
I stepped on the scale when I got back and yes, there it was 4.2lb gain! (this took me back to 179lbs) I stepped on again to be sure and it was the same but these were happy pounds! I dont care that I gained because that holiday was so needed, we all thoroughly enjoyed it and it was a well overdue break from the usual routine.
As the day I weighed wasn't a usual weigh day I didnt record it, instead I have worked hard this week and waited for today my actual weigh day....the result?...3lb lost
To top it off a friend came to visit today and told me that she could tell I'd been working really hard and can see a big difference...yay!
So 1.2 'happy pounds' left to lose before Im back to where I was but I know this is possible and confident this will be gone by next weigh in! I may have the odd wobble now and again and get down on myself but I am really starting to see a difference in the faith I seem to have in myself. It was next to nothing at the start and although sometimes it temporarily drops back to that, I can really see the changes. I am starting to work towards fixing other areas of my life that I am less than happy with, the guilt that used to be attatched to food seems to be slowly disappearing and everything just seems generally brighter ...not all the time but mostly!
Thank you all once again for your continued support, without this I would not be doing what Im doing. Im finding out so much more about myself since being on here and feeling stronger everyday. Keep up the amazing job you are all !!!
Take care everyone, hope you are all enjoying your day!
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