Friday, March 19, 2010
so here i am sitting at work just about on the verge of tears...
and i feel like a pathetic loser cause half of my blog entries are pumped up and the other half are pissy.
i guess i'm just moody.
I gained .9 lbs MORE this week. And I did SO GOOD this week, ate so good...made good choices, measured, worked out so good...started the wii active...what the HELL?
Sorry. I'm so frustrated...my efforts did not pay off and my baby has not slept good for a week and a half. Oh, she sleeps people...she just cries up til the moment she falls asleep between, you know, 9:30 and 10:00. I have no time with my husband, no time by myself, no time to just decompress in the evening, and I'm starting to feel so mad at her at night time. And I hate that so much. I feel like a crap of a mother, I'm resenting my job because I just want to stay home with her when she's happy so bad...
And on top of that, I had to go and GAIN a pound.
Man that sucks. I'm feeling like CRAP right now...
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Last night on my way to coffee with a good friend, there was a slight detour and...oops, we ended up at the rollerskating rink for a surprise birthday party for MEEEEEE! What fun!!!
I've been hinting to my husband for about 4 years that this would be my DREAM birthday party...and last year (my 30th) I was pregnant, so I screwed that one up for him....
What a good man, there was scrunchies, a ninja turtles tshirt, and yummy chocolate cake...and friends galore!! One hundred people showed up to celebrate my birthday with me by dressing in nineties garb, eating pizza and cake, and rollerskating the night away...One hundred people, now that is overwhelming to a girl...I'm sure two thirds of them were under the age of 8, but still...
I skated to Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, NSync, Spice Girls...to my hearts content, held my sister's hand and my husband's hand, watched my baby smile as my mom skated her around the rink in her stroller...A blessing, a huge blessing....
The perfect Birthday Party...
My legs hurt... :) ...in such a good way! :)
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Thanks to my Sparkfriends...and The Spark Book...This week I am feeling GOOOOOOD this morning!
Yesterday was Day One of getting back on the nutrition Track...I made a healthy yummy dinner, and MEASURED my portions (haven't done that in a LOOOOONG time...) I used the plate rule (with a quarter being starch, a quarter being protein, and a half being veggies and fruit)...and even had enough calories left (I CHECKED!) for a skinny cow yummy treat...
I did Day Two of Wii Active, took a walk with my husband and baby, and my legs hurt this morning from the strength training on that Wii Active!!! That thing is HARD! (and I'm only on Easy...). I'm pretty sure that the 150 calories it said I burned were actually more than that, cause I was SWEATING at the end!
Anyway--here's to another day of paying attention to what I put in my mouth...
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I'm not losing anymore...at least not losing anything substantial enough and for a long enough period that you can call it a loss. I keep going up two down one, up one, down two...and it is very annoying.
But I'm feeling more in control at least.
I'm working out more, and it's more "normal" than it used to be...taking walks with the baby, getting the bike out with the hubby, yoga in the morning, going to the gym every so often, it's not weird and awkward and not a part of my schedule...it IS a part of my routine, which feels awesome!
And on a more negative note...my eating has sucked. I'm not making smart choices...I've kind of figured out what I can eat to "be okay"...I'm not making choices based on the desire to lose weight, that is for sure.
So how do I make that move sparkfriends? How do I make the switch from awkward dieting person...to normal, routine healthy eating person? I used to be this person I think, then just got out of the habit and now need to KICK IT BACK IN GEAR...CAUSE I WANT TO BE BETTER!!!
Friday, March 12, 2010
I mean, I'm glad it's Friday...but really I'm never looking forward to weighing in....This is probably not a good thing.
I need to feel confident in my actions...and feel like it'll be good...and I just dread every Friday morning and that dang scale.
Cause I want to lose, but just feel like I keep going up-a-little-down-a-little.
*15 minutes later*
UPDATE: I went up a little...booo.
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