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Manic Tuesday....a continuation of manic monday.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

So I am on the crest of the manic wave. I've upped the geodon to 100, and switched cymbalta to am, instead of PM. but I am still slightly manic... it's the nice productive side of mania.. I woke up early, and did the dishes. Now I's sparking before the on slot of the day. And what A day it will be... I am driving in the recent fire zone, to check on my friend, and bring her bottled water, and to see my kiddos for developmental assessments. It will be a long day, full of 6 hours of travel, and 6 hours of seeing kids. I have a plan for food that lines up with the fibro guru plan.

His plan; breakfast, protein and unlimited veggies, or a protein fruit veggie shake ( that's my plan) I'm loving mango, spinach orange juice combo.
His plan for lunch: protein and unlimited veggies. I m taking a chicken breast, some cucumber, some garden fresh tomatoes, olives, balsamic vinegar, and feta cheese over lettuce for a Greek salad to go. I'm going to layer it in a mason jar.
snacks: his plan is for a fruit, protein snack in the Am, and veggie protein in PM.. my plan is an orange, and some roasted almonds for morning, and some celery and hummus in PM. .

Dinner for his plan, is protein, veggies, and occasionally, soluble fiber ( sweet potatoe, plantains, purple potato). I don't know what to do about dinner. I'll be driving home, so am thinking, finger food like the rest of the celery, carrots, peppers, with some diced or sliced turkey breast.

Walking to day wlll be interesting. FIrst, is my walk with CATLADY521. I think we should walk to safeway, get some groceries ( olive, feta cheese, meatballs and BBQ sauce) I have to put together a crockpot dish for the boy to take to a Alter serving potluck dinner. he requested meatballs in BBQ sauce. Once I get to work, I'll be driving. I can stop at the two rest areas on the way, and walk around a bit, but not for the ten minutes to register a workout on SPAT. Once to towu, it will be meetings, and work until the drive home. I don't think I will get close to 10,000 but diffidently over 5,000.

off to the kitchen, to pack my food.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COMPUCATHY 7/24/2014 10:48PM

    Sounds like a good, busy day! emoticon Had these today...okay...they were deep fried...but underneath that they were healthy! Hope you had a great day! Keep up the good work! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on! emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 7/22/2014 12:00PM

    Good luck! You have a plan. That's a good start!

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_RAMONA 7/22/2014 11:27AM

    What a GREAT plan! I hope you find your friend in good spirits, and that the drive through the fire path isn't too devastating.

I'm sorry your struggles with chemical balance continue. You sound as though you deal with it really well, overall. You need to give yourself credit for that!

...honestly, I could use some of that "nice productive side of mania"... I'm struggling with feeling low and mired. Typically, summer is when I am strong and level, so I thought it was a good time to test how I'd do if I dropped my supplementation level (after three years, I'd say I likely always will). Well it seems I still need very high doses of Vitamin D... two weeks of half my usual dose and my mood is in the basement, and my anxiety, lack of focus is on the rise. Back to usual today.

I'll have you and your friend in my prayers. Safe travels, Kate!

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Confluence... maybe I'll get to blog this time.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Confluence, the act of merging, of coming together. I am at the confluence of two powerful thoughts. First, there is sparkguys blog and excitement of a spark streak, over 96 days old. At least 10 fitness minutes a day. I want to join that bandwagon, it looks so fun!. So I look at my streak page. Kinda despiring. I'll get close to making a record,then I'll crash ,fall away, step back. This time, I decided I would go forth. I'm choosing walking because the fibro guru said walking is the best thing for fibro. I already have the goals set up, and when I take the time to document it, walking 10 minutes, a few times a day can earn my BIG spark points. See, it's the little things that motivate me. So I am at the start of my streak, this being Saturday. This is RIVER one in the Confluence of my life. Then I read my Spark friend Cathy talk about food sober. She talked about food addiction, and how she wanted to eat food sober. I, too, realize that I am an addict. But it's not emotional pain that causes me to overeat, at least not all of it. I hurt. I toss and turn and try different drugs, and then hey-why not a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. That will make you feel better so the horrid little troll on my shoulder. I can polish off an entire days worth of calories between the time I go to bed, and the time I fall asleep. I have to get a handle on the pain side of life, before I can make any dent in the emotional eating side. I want to get a handle on fibro. On my shoulder's hurting when I take laundry out of the dryer, and my feet aching while I sit at my desk. Today, I have the right drugs, or at least the drugs that my insuurange company will allow me to have to treat this....that's another rant. I want to be paleo sober. Strictly paleo for at least one day. Then I can start a paleo sobser streak. ( the rivers have converged).

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOPEYP 7/22/2014 9:33AM

    Kate sounds like you have set yourself on the right path. Each step leads to another and before you know it you are on a streak! emoticon

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_RAMONA 7/21/2014 11:28PM

    You can do this Kate!

I haven't (in six years here) ever committed to a streak of any kind... while I am always moving forward, committing to a very specific action ad infinitum, intimidates the H3LL out of me. I'm attracted to the idea, and I toy with it constantly, but because I am terrified of adding yet another thing I didn't finish to my resume, I don't do it. I cannot feel like a failure one more time in this life. This 'demon' is my constant companion.

Care to be my accountability buddy? Maybe we could get over this stumbling block, and conquer the streak thing together? Let me know what you think.


...and the pain... how I get that. That was *exactly* why I ate, and it wasn't until the physical pain stopped, and I stopped over-eating at meals and eating outside of meals along with it, that I made the connection. Chronic pain can have an insidious and soul crushing effect.

Now, here is where I encourage you to tough through the pain one day at a time to see if a paleo sober regimen can make the difference. Truly, I don't know to what degree your pain will diminish, but I'm pretty sure it will... perhaps enough to free you from the eating, too. Just over a month into paleo ALL of my pain was gone (shoulders, elbows, wrists, hands, hips - all fibro hotspots, even though I have never been diagnosed, and headaches)... GONE. And it has never really returned.

I did have a few days a few weeks back where I got seriously over-tired, developed a nagging headache for a couple of days, and what did I start doing? I started eating constantly... it's like the chewing and constant oral sensation soothed the throbbing, or something. The saving grace is that while I was over-eating and eating constantly, I was eating only Paleo food (so no weight gain... that still amazes me). Try find your way clear to do at least this... eat all of the time, if you must, but just eat paleo sober.

Finally, while I know that you have a whole host of medical personnel attending to your needs, I'd like to recommend a supplement that is completely safe and non-interactive, and is specifically for joints/pain... I started taking it at the same time as I went full-on Paleo, and I swear within two weeks, I was a changed person... I think the two went hand in hand. It is a synergistically balanced mineral supplement... with your damaged gut, I think it's safe to assume that you are not getting enough nutrients from your food. Lacking in trace minerals can wreak havoc with every bodily system... especially autoimmunity. This is it (I buy mine at Walmart):

SierraSil
http://www.sierrasil.com/about-
sierrasil/composition/

Read through the testimonials:
http://www.sierrasil.com/catego
ry/testimonials/

It's marketed as a 'joint' supplement, but people are getting all sorts of relief from life-long pain. I honestly don't think the makers of this even really get how powerful it is, or why.

Well... that's it for tonight. Regardless of any of this, just know I'm rooting for you.

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...now I'm off to read Cathy's blog.





Comment edited on: 7/22/2014 1:50:48 AM

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1CRAZYDOG 7/21/2014 10:13PM

    One day-at-a-time, my friend, one day-at-a-time (I know . . . preaching to the choir, right!) I read Cathy's blog too and it resonated with me as well.


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I've tried three times...

Sunday, July 20, 2014

to blog today. But the computer keeps eating it. I wanted to write about my resurrance of a spark streak, how I was going tostart walking for 10 a day, but got side tracked.. and came back to a blank screen. Started over, all about my weekly goals ( eat paleo each day with no cheating, and walk at least ten minutes) when I got side tracked again..This time, it was about the north central Washington's wildfires. The devastation has been too close to home, my friend Marybeth's home was affected, her outbuildings and some of her lifestock are gone. The fire seemed to have jumped her house, and her MIL house. They are back in their house, but have no power, no water. Pray for rain, the fire isn't done. Pray for safety.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_RAMONA 7/21/2014 2:18PM

    I'm so sorry to hear of your friend, Kate... she (and the situation) will be in my prayers!

... I think lamb is an acquired taste. It took us a really long time to like it... and there seems to be a learning curve to cooking it. We prefer bone out lamb, so I buy a boneless leg (COSTCO). I take it out of the 'sock', unroll it and trim out the large chunks of fat on the inside (truly improves the flavor), spread it with onions, garlic and parsley that have been cooked down, reroll it, and then roast it. It disappears pretty quickly now, lol.

All you can do is keep trying. I really admire that with the active resistance you battle daily that you just keep moving forward. You are my hero. I really appreciate you sharing your journey!

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P.S. I'm so glad my paranoid self was wrong.
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COMPUCATHY 7/20/2014 9:15PM

    Sorry to hear of your friend's troubles. I am praying for them. I hope you have a good week with your eating plans and walking plans. Keep up the good work! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on! emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 7/20/2014 8:29PM

    So sorry to hear about your friend's devastation from the fire. Prayers for everyone affect and the fire fighters.

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Crazy Bag Lady, I am....

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Here it is, the dreaded thursday. traditionally, this is the day I go off track. It's a combination of factors- it's four days into the work week, and I have lost that spark of rest from the weekend, I usually have a wicked push of work to get my weekly to-do list accomplished, I've eaten most of the fresh produce, and I'm too tired to cook anything. So. the game plan to not fall off the wagon.
1) I woke up a little early, to avoid the rush stressed feeling of being late for work.
2) I put something delicious in the crock pot ( lamb shanks in spicy sweet sauce).
3) I've packed my lunch ( chicken breast and salad) and yesterday bought fresh cherries and apricots at the roadside stand so my snacks are covered.
4) I have a to do list for today's work that seems doable, and will end up with some adjustment time for tomorrow.

Carrying my lunch bag, my purse, my work bag and my shoes to walk in makes me feel like a crazy bag lady. At least I am prepared...but here's another thought. I increased my geodon to 100, taking an 80 and an additional 20. If I take it at bedtime ( 10pm) I am drugged out in the morning. ( I was late to work both Monday and Tuesday because I was asleep, and wouldn't get out of bed). So I need to take it earlier, like at 6 when I am suppose to be eating dinner. But here is the problem.. what if I work late? Like today, I will probably work till 7. I am wondering if I should start carrying my meds with me, like I bring my walking shoes, just in case. But how crazy looking is that, carrying around a 28 slot med pack, filled to the rim with all the meds, and supplements I take? Believe me, the list is long. Maybe I should separate the sleepy making meds to a separate container, and just carry it. That would be the cymbalta, the lyerica, and the two geodon. I think that's a better idea than carrying my big med kit- it's a royal pain to sort all of those lovely little pills when they spill.

See, blogging solved a dilemma!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YVETTEB57 7/17/2014 3:01PM

    Sounds like you've got some good plans in place! emoticon

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_RAMONA 7/17/2014 2:15PM

    Lady, you ROCK!

I want to invite myself over for supper... these less structured summer days don't lend themselves well to keeping me organized... I've been struggling with suppers since school let out. Trying to find the balance between being spontaneous and not wasting food, or not having food to eat ready when we need it is my challenge at the moment. I've never been a real crock pot fan, but I've been thinking seriously of making it more of a habit (found several list of 30 days of whole 30 crock pot meals)... any suggestions/tips you have would be appreciated.

I love the crazy GIRL SCOUT (always prepared) bag lady image! Maybe one of your rewards could be a really nice stylish leather backpack so you feel more Girl Scout than bag lady.

I always have pills (supplements) stashed in my purse... I used to feel really self-conscious, but now it's just what I need to do to be at my best. We've even gotten in the habit of putting all three meals worth for everyone in my purse Saturday/Sunday morning just in case we don't get home until bedtime... it has made us a lot more spontaneous and doesn't compromise our healing.

You GO, Lady Kate!

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P.S. While you are doing your Sunday food prep this weekend, pray for me... I'm going to be CANNING the CHICKEN we are BUTCHERING with our own hands on Saturday.... doesn't get any more basic than that!




Comment edited on: 7/17/2014 2:15:43 PM

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1CRAZYDOG 7/17/2014 11:30AM

    Yes, I carry a small "pill minder" container in my purse. Good luck!

HUGS

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even when the report and forecast is bleak...

Sunday, July 13, 2014

I should blog. Not just when I have recommitted to the program, or when I'm laying out my goals, but I should blog when I fall down, fall off program,misstep. Because that's my pattern. Blog about the plan, re-commit (how may times since 2011?) weigh and start over...then a day goes by, I hit an obstacle, and I fall off. This week the obstacle was Thursday. Thursday seem to be the hardest day of the week. I'm running out of steam for the week, usually out of fresh fruit for the week, and I don't want to cook,don't want to walk and it starts there.....the slippery slope of falling off program. This past Thursday, I added in a day of travel, and no packed lunch. so I fell. Then I noticed my other falling off pattern, after-noons. There is something about 4 pm to screams vending machine, or doughnut. So I fell again. the third obstacle is after dinner snack. I need to eat something when I take my victoza, but eating something starts an eating everything spurge.
* the point of blogging about when I've taken a misstep is to learn, plan and prevent. so for this week, Thursday. I have a crockpot dinner planned. I have the recipe picked out, the ingredients in the pantry. Cant go wrong with that. The afternoon and pm obstacle is covered by preplanning my snacks. Today is my prep day, and I am making hummus, boiling some eggs and buying some celery, cheese sticks, almonds to take to work for the afternoon, and pm snack.
I re-read an article about getting back on track. I should highlight it...the point of two steps ahead, one step behind is that you are still making progress. Missteps don't have to be permanent. I can gather my forces, muster my energy, plan for obstacles and still come out victorious.
* exercising has gone well this week. I am not up to full strength, and still cut the walk a wee bit short, but having water aerobics four nights a week helps. It's been to hot to ride the bike to work but am hoping to resurrect it this week. I need to come in early for work to make some deadlines, and am hoping that biking in the early morning will be cooler. I tried to replace my SPAT battery and succeeded in breaking the clip. My steps might be off until I can get that fixed.
* meds. Early this past week, I had a bit of a med mishap. Through an oversigth, I forgot to take my geodon sunday night. I realized that I was slipping into mania early Monday morning, and landed in the doctor's office. she prescribed a cover med, 20 mg of geodon to supplement. I spent tuesday with the resulting mania induced migraine. I've had two nights of itching twitchy mania induced eating, so I am going to keep taking the twenty plus. I think that the cymbalta, lyerica combo might be working for fibro but the side effect is increased mania. there's a med for that.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_RAMONA 7/13/2014 11:30AM

    Good insight about living 'out loud' all the time.. not just when things are going well. I've been quiet, too, of late... realized it wasn't helping me to keep my thoughts to myself. Blogging may not change the immediate circumstances, but somehow it opens a door to forward movement. I think you might appreciate my most recent entry.

I can't really say why, but I've never seen anything I've done on this journey as 'failure' or even misstep. I've taken the position of 'observer' in all things. Being always 'on my side', not judging, and always encouraging has allowed me to never get stuck, and always move forward/beyond.

If I want to eat... I eat... some days I eat all day long, but only low carb, ancestral food outside of meals (can't eat as much, and it's more satisfying if it's high protein/fat). (The one thing that keeps me from slipping into conventional foods of any sort is the knowledge that every slip does further damage, and prevents me from experiencing the power - mentally and physically - of healing my gut, stabilizing my hormones/blood sugar, and of being fat-adapted.)

If I don't' feel like exercising, I don't... but I'll bring up a box of stuff from the basement 1 article at a time, LOL... or I'll DANCE, instead... one of the really amazing benefits of 'ancestral' nutrition is that you really don't have to limit calories.

When my brain is trying to kill me, I respond to myself as I would to my daughter when she is being unreasonable.. just because we're grown doesn't mean we stop needing the same gentleness, patience and compassion we give our children. (kudos to you for getting to the doctor ASAP... I know MANY people who don't do that).

Kate, you are incredibly strong, intuitive, kind and SMART. Try to not be so hard on yourself. This is not a goal-oriented journey/process. Learn to be your own best friend and observer, and let your blog be your memory for the good, bad and ugly. It won't take long before you can see just how far you've come... and I'm pretty sure you'll see there is more good than there is bad or ugly!

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Comment edited on: 7/14/2014 1:20:35 AM

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BABYSOX 7/13/2014 11:00AM

    I am sorry to hear about your challenging week, but I am proud of you for coming up with a plan to avoiding those pitfalls this week. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 7/13/2014 10:43AM

    emoticon

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GEORGE815 7/13/2014 9:33AM

    Don't forget the geodon.

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WDIPIM 7/13/2014 9:33AM

  God Bless

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GEMINICHIK 7/13/2014 9:32AM

    "As surely as Jesus took every curse of sickness, your healing will break forth!"
He says, I am the Lord who heals you. (Exodus 15:26) And as you believe Me, you will see your healing manifest thirtyfold, sixtyfold and a hundredfold.
Blessings to you


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