Sunday, December 28, 2008
I decided I need to update my life story ........... after joining Sparkpeople and losing 89 pounds myself and two friends I met on Spark where asked if we would like to go to NYC to do a photo shoot for "people" magazine. We said Yes of course on off we were the end of Summer 2007. It was an awesome experience that I am so thankful for. After returning from our fabulous experience we waited months for our story to be printed. I wont lie it was a long hard wait. It affected us or at least me in a not so positive way. I was no longer focused like I was before I was just worried about what the article was going to be like and how the photo's were going to look and then after a while it became is this story ever going to be printed. It sounds silly now because even if the story was never printed we still got to go to NYC and meet each other and that was truly the best part. When the New Years additions was printed and we were not in it I finally came to grips with it and started working on me again. No sooner then did I forget about it was the magazine out and we were on our way to the "ellen" show in California. So much happened this week with emotions that by the time I got home from the show I was emotionally drained............................
Slowly over the next month I started to get burned out on my everyday life I guess you could say the monotony. Things that used to give me pleasure had become a chore. I slowly started dropping all the good habits that I had gained over the last year. In March my eating and exercising because so sporadic and by July I had just quit doing it all. Its amazing to me know to look back at all the things that caused me to feel the way I do know and know that if I could just get back on the wagon all of the Anxiety that I have created in myself would probably slow go away. Every morning I wake up with good intentions but, I never follow through.... Who am I kidding I don't even drink as much water as I should. It used to be second nature to get up work out drink 14 glasses of water through out the day plan my meals ect.............. Now I don't want to go to bed at night because I don't want to start the next day.
I have a good life and a GREAT husband so why do I dread everyday tasks? I want to go back to being Mrs. Honeycomb the one who inspired so many people everyday. I want to feel good NO GREAT about myself I want to have goals and I want to feel like I can accomplish them.
Anyways..............Since March of this year I have gone from 159 lbs all the way up to 210 pounds. I know crazy how does someone gain that much weight in that little time?
I'm hoping after writing this today that I can convince myself to get back to where I was. If I take it slow I could be back at 159 by the beginning of Summer and I could be to my goal of 144 lbs by the end of the Summer.
Thanks for listening,