Tuesday, July 08, 2014
I learned a valuable lesson yesterday. Must be true that we don't comprehend til we're good and ready.
I went out for a gossip session with my friends yesterday. On the way, I stopped and grabbed a fast-food meal because I hadn't planned well and wasn't going to be able to wait to eat til we got to our destination. Wolfed down the fast food, went to the coffee shop.....had a large coffee and a piece of carrot cake. The cake was delicious. I haven't had carrot cake in years. Enjoyed every bite and didn't feel guilty.
Then the blood sugar ravages began. By the time I got home at 3pm, I was CRANKY. My body didn't feel well and neither did my mind. By the time I went to bed, I was as depressed as I've ever been.
This is the first time I've ever linked how I feel with what I eat. An important lesson!
Monday, July 07, 2014
Last week wasn't great for quite a few reasons. Nothing bad happened, just stuff in my head going round and round and an attack of my fun social anxiety disorder. Stayed away from the gym all week except for Friday. Ate ice cream every day. Hey, I figured if it was gonna be a pity party, I'd have ice cream.
So I went back to the gym yesterday. Started on my new three-part program. The ol' "Low and Slow" one. Lots of reps, lower weight. I am FEELIN' it. I was groaning to the new trainer about how sore my muscles are today and she said that means I was doing it right, which is good. Aiming for five days at the gym this week.
Getting back on track with eating, too. Just logged breakfast for the first time in well over a week. I'm off for a gossip session with the friends in a few minutes. Just realised I'm going close to where a colony of flying fox bats lives year-round so maybe I'll grab the camera and see what I can see.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
I have myself convinced I'm not sleeping well, even though I know I am. Hard to drag my poor butt out of bed at 6am, even harder to think about putting on the workout clothes and heading to the gym.
But I did. I moaned, groaned, complained, got some good advice from my trainer. I even did an additional ten minutes of cardio that I hadn't planned on simply because a delightful lady got me talking about places she wants to visit in the States.
Still worrying over the food issue. I decided today that the obvious clue is just to eat healthy stuff that I know fuels me well, and it'll all even out. Still fussing over numbers I dont' understand and cant' manipulate to my advantage. Still feeling run-down and like I'm not chugging along with all the pistons working properly.
Looking forward to a sleep-in tomorrow which probably means getting up at 6:30am rather than 6am. :)
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Tad bit blowy in my corner of the world these days. Power went out yesterday afternoon at 4:30, didnt' come back on til 6:45pm. Dinner was all medieval - candlelight and only meat and bread. I had foresight enough to throw a roast in the crockpot in the morning, by the time I was ready to put veggies on, out went the power.
I had an interesting dream last night. In the past, I've had recurring dreams about keeping a rental apartment in a very old building, even though I lived elsewhere. The stairs were always difficult to navigate and the elevator was always out of order. I had this dream countless times til one night I recieved an eviction notice. Yep, you guessed it...no more recurring dream. Life has calmed down a tad with my two kids - I've had some good conversations with my son and all I can do is hope he's heeded my advice.
Last night I dreamed I was back in an apartment in Portland, OR. My kids were much younger. We were living elsewhere, and I was keeping this apartment for unknown reasons. Still paying rent. We were only partially moved out. I went to the manager and gave our notice to vacate, and began moving a huge wardrobe of old clothing into the back of our old White Rhino, the car I drove before we moved here to AU. I was thinking all the while "I can't wear even half of these...."
So this is obviously my brain trying to untangle all my wild thoughts and emotions of late. I wonder how long it'll be before I get my eviction notice for this dream apartment, or how many trips in the old White Rhino to completely move out?
I have no clue about dinner. My husband might welcome the old meat and salad and veggie after last night's picnic.
Gym was a good workout. I did the Wednesday circuit. Two and a half minutes cardio, 30 second rest, two and a half minutes weights. Kept at it for two complete rounds and then called it a day.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Wow...big emotions lately. I'm ready for the boring to set in again.
My children are making me crazy of late. They depend on me to both advocate for them, and definitely depend on me ignoring bad behaviour or being oblivious. I was a single mom, working full time when they were young, so a certain amount of glossing-over got done when it came to things like keeping rooms clean, having set chores to help out, etc. None of this has benefitted them because i can cheerfully and lovingly say they are both SLOBS.
My daughter chose to listen to someone else who sang the song she wanted to hear....and she quit her job before she'd found another. Jobs are thin on the ground here. So she quit at Christmas, still has not found another. Of course, she's not really trying. And now she and her partner are expecting a baby, and are living with his parents in a less-than-optimum situation. She's stressed for money constantly, and they are getting nowhere on saving for a downpayment on a house. Her partner doesn't want to rent, he wants them to buy. My dad and his wife set up a trust fund for the four grandkids, right before the accident. There will be a good chunk of cash for each, earmarked for a house deposit or education. They get the money at 24 if they don't need it sooner, for the home or education. She's trying to coerce me into advocating to my father for her to have her share NOW. Not for a house, just for money to tide them over. Umm...no. It'll go on lunches and dinners out so they dont' have to be at home so much in the less-than-optimum living situation. I've told her I'm not going to ask him.
Then my son....my son. Shaking my head. I finally cottoned on to the fact that he's been smoking. Yes, he's 20 and I can't really tell him what to do. That didn't stop me though....he got a scorching the other night when I figured it out. I'm normally Mild-mannered mamma but he discovered when I am irked...I'm irked and I don't take stupid excuses. I also asked his girlfriend point-blank if SHE smokes...she does. I asked her to be a good influence on him. Then I stalked into the house and pretty much ignored all his efforts to cosy up and make peace. Until today. Then I had another chat about what a destructive habit it is. I asked him if he thought his two friends who've been smoking for a couple years now could QUIT if they wanted. I've seen too much damage done in my family by smoking. My son is my genetic double, as I am my father's genetic double...and my father's heart disease began rearing it's ugly head when he was about 45. After years of smoking too much, drinking too much, and eating too much. My son is on that path. I told him he owes it to himself and his future family to be as healthy as he can...and he needs to start NOW.
Plus I was mostly hurt by the lying. I don't care much for being lied to. To all the kids in our family, a lie is few simple seconds to get their ass out of the line of fire. I explained to my son today that for the person being lied to, its a slow and steady erosion of trust. He needs to get out of the habit NOW because the only thing worse than a lying kid is a lying adult. The lying thing came in because I thought I smelled cigarettes on his breath a couple weeks ago, and when I questioned of course he said "Oh no, mom."
Not a great workout at the gym today. I seem to be backsliding in strength. Part of that might be technique, and I got some good help and good pointers from my trainer. Still working on the nutrition aspect.
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