Wednesday, August 15, 2012
i've been struggling with severe mouth pain all month long. despite multiple dental appointments and medications, the pain just kept getting worse. finally my dentist gave me an appointment to have 1, possibly 2 of my teeth undergo root canals, but in the meantime the pain has been so bad i feel paralyzed. i've been doing awesome at the gym all last week, but this week, when i WALK, the pain in my face shoots everywhere. i can't lay down, i can't eat...i feel like this pain has really intruded in on my life and turned all of my hard work upside down.
i really am trying to encourage myself. because i had been meaning to reset my spark page (i've been a member for over a year but am just starting to REALLY get into the program--thank God for all of the people that make sparkpeople an awesome site, including the users), i just went on and did it today. now i have a clean slate to start with, and i can count today as day 1 of the rest of my life. for the first time, im excited about that! it's needed excitement too, because for a while there i was REALLY depressed, thinking that this temporary clink in my plan means that i'm going to fail at this healthy lifestyle change. but now, i feel determined to just pick back up and continue on instead of throwing my hands up in the air and starting over. so tomorrow is another day, i can start over fresh and clean and know that i'm still doing well, even if i haven't been able to do much these last 3 days except nurse painful toothaches and migraines.
i broke down and went to the hospital today--only 24 hours from my surgical appointment, but the pain has gotten so bad that my heart began to palpitate. my pressure is 181/101. i explained that i do not suffer from high blood pressure, it's just that the pain is SO bad that i'm feeling really anxious, lightheaded and my heart is fluttery. the er doctor was very compassionate and understanding and gave me a prescription for painkillers that may allow me to feel relief while still being able to function. i took 2 about an hour ago and so far i'm a little drowsy, but still very much in control of myself (i can actually walk if i wanted to), and the pain has subsided substantially.
after all of the stress my body has been under, tonight i'm going to just relax with my husband. but tomorrow i hope to take 2 more pills and then get in at least 26 minutes (2 13 minute sessions) of the elliptical in! i think i can do it, because i'm feeling pretty able bodied with this medication. i can concentrate again on something other than pain!
never thought i'd say it--but i miss my elliptical machine. it's been 3 days of pain and stress, and no exercise, crappy eating (trying to eat things that dont cause pain leaves only high carb choices--soups, potatoes, etc.) and i just want to get back on track!
so please continue to pray for my healing and well being. looking forward to having my mouth heal so i can continue working towards my goals and continuing to be encouraged by my loved ones and all the great people here at sparkpeople!
Monday, August 01, 2011
this weekend was probably the greatest weekend of my year thus far. i spent it with my family. now that sounds like something that's not all that great...but for me, it was, because i don't see my family too often. it's not that they aren't around, it's just that rifts and divide have pretty much plagued my family for the last 40 years. but on saturday, a surprise visit from my cousin changed all of that. with tears in her eyes, she invited me to a family event, saying that she didn't care about what anyone else said because she loves her family.
so do i.
and i won't lie, i lost track of all calories eaten this weekend, because 1. i didn't have a computer to log into my sparkpeople account and 2. i had people, parties and fun bumrushing me from every angle.
i am sure that i stayed under 3000 calories for each day BUT i probably didn't drink nearly enough water. i really couldn't go back and track if i wanted to because i honestly don't remember everything i ate or the ingredients in certain dishes. if i would've been able to plan accordingly i would have but this weekend was totally unexpected so i was caught off guard.
all i can do is start fresh today and get back on track. i love being on track, but falling off this weekened was just so worth it. i had family cooking for me, a baby shower, a mini football party...it was wonderful.
every calorie was worth it! but next time...i'll be ready!
Monday, July 25, 2011
ok. so this is my very first blog entry, and it couldn't come at a worse (or better) time. i've only been a member of SparkPeople for about 4 days and for the first 3 i was doing great and then today...tragedy struck.
i ate a load of crap and at the end of my...raid on all things cookies and soda...i can at least somewhat pleasantly say that i feel like crap. i feel bloated, i feel tired, i feel...
who would've known that after just 3 days of conciously making better choices, on just the 4th day, when i let it all go out the window, i would be feeling so yucky about it?
i usually can pack away an entire package of my favorite cookies in a single day. i've had these particular ones since saturday, so it took me 3 days this time. not bad...3 days to pack away almost 30 cookies, and my husband had a handful too. something that would take me again...a few hours to do before. and i can also say that i feel sick. i'm a bit embarassed i suppose for doing it (all the while saying "oh boy my nutrition tracker isn't going to report good numbers tonight!!!"). honestly, writing this blog is giving me the courage to face my nutrition tracker. this is the reason i even started the blog.
so today, i ate about 12 cookies. *sigh* that number is horrid. and i drunk about...24 ounces of coca cola. probably a bit more than that. and i feel like a bloated mess.
now. i am writing this blog at this time to give myself some introspective ability. i know that i have my trigger foods. and cookies are one. but the soda? i'm not really an avid soda fan anymore. it feels entirely too sugary in my mouth, and it only serves to make me thirstier! i haven't had a good guzzle of soda in about 2 weeks...and i notice that even then, i only drank soda because it was all that was offered.
my drink of choice is seltzer.
it just so happens, that i don't have any seltzer.
i knew today when i woke up and took my last swig of the deliciously carbonated water that i was headed towards trouble if i didn't get any more. *sigh* and i didn't have the usual 1.50 to purchase a quick 2 liter bottle. so...i went for the only other carbonated drink i had...coca cola.
the cookies, i knew would be a problem for me. the soda, i didn't think.
well...at least i was able to admit how i'm feeling to my personal blog. i can be 100% honest and say had it not been for this site, i probably would've given up after cookie #9, and swig #4, but because it's so encouraging and refreshing to know that everyone slips up and it's no reason to quit...i don't much feel like quitting. i feel like doing better tomorrow.
and i'm *almost* ready to face my nutrition tracker tonight and tell it the honest truth.
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