MRSB929   11,375
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MRSB929's Recent Blog Entries

Checking in....

Friday, January 31, 2014

WOW, it's been over a month since my last update/blog!

So sorry, Spark Friends!

Let me tell you, I have NOT fallen off track.

I have been MORE on track than EVER!!

I started "transition" a few weeks ago, which means I have transitioned from Medifast's 5 & 1 Plan to incorporating more foods into my diet. I am now eating more fruits/veggies/protein and only have a couple of medifast meals each day (some of them are actually good and have pretty good nutrition!).

My last weigh in was on Jan 14th, 7 pounds from my goal. I was just starting to get into strength training and was seeing little progress with the scale.

I knew I was losing inches (my jeans were fitting way looser), but my weight on the scale wasn't going down. I realized the closer I got to my "goal weight" the less that number was important to me.

I just want to look good and feel good in my clothes (and a bikini this summer! hehe).

So, I ditched the scale and decided to focus on the way I feel/look (as long as I am staying on track with my diet/exercise. If I get off track, I will bring the scale back into the equation).

Let me tell you, it is scary! But also pretty freeing. Its hard not weighing in because that is the only measure I have used to gauge my success over the past 3 years. But, I've been scale-free for over 2 weeks and I feel good, and I am seeing changes in my body, so I know I'm doing what I need to do. As long as I stay on track with my diet/exercise, I have no reason to worry about not weighing.

Another reason I decided to stop weighing is because I had met so many people on Facebook who were living proof that you can be a different size at the same weight. One of my friends is currently 150 pounds and is a size 6. A few years ago, she was 150 pounds and a size 10! After hearing more and more stories like that, I decided to focus more and my size and less on my weight!

Here is a more recent progress pic!

This is me in May 2011 vs. Jan 2014 (after completeing day 2 of P90X...did I tell you I started P90X?!)


Here's a little selfie! I'm a little cross-eyed from an intense workout! hehe


Love and miss you guys!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLPURNELL 2/6/2014 8:53PM

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STEPH-KNEE 2/1/2014 3:39AM

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WINNIE1978 1/31/2014 5:50PM

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KING_SLAYER 1/31/2014 3:49PM

    Lookin' good! It should be about how we feel, not what we weigh. Starting a strength training regimen is always going to slow the movement of the scale because our muscles will hold more water when they've been worked. And as our muscles become denser from work they will weigh more than before, hence your friend who was a size 10 at 150 and is now a size 6. She just got rid of a lot of fat and added muscle to her frame so her weight stayed the same, but her size dropped.

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JESMOD 1/31/2014 2:12PM

    WOW -- Great progress. Really motivating blog. Added you as a SparkFriend. Hope you don't mind!

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HEALTHYBARB1 1/31/2014 1:50PM

    You are looking great!! I agree totally with your assessment that weight looks different on different people...I have some weight to lose but have decided that I am going to work on getting to my feels right and looks good in the mirror weight!! When my jeans are down to the right size and look awesome on me that will be my measurement of success. Celebrating each step toward that along the way!! Eating right, exercise consistency and being healthy is what is important!! Keep up the great effort and wise evaluation plan!! Smiles Barb

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NETGYRL 1/31/2014 11:33AM

    What an amazing transformation! You look wonderful!

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SWIMMERGIRL0222 1/31/2014 10:33AM

    Wow! You look fantastic! Congratulations on all your hard work! The changes are amazing!

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LOWCARBRENEE 1/31/2014 10:16AM

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GOOSIEMOON 1/31/2014 10:04AM

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IAMZBEE 1/31/2014 9:30AM

    Looking great!!!

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EVIE4NOW 1/31/2014 9:28AM

  You look fantastic. Good job. Keep up the good work!

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JAROL7 1/31/2014 9:27AM

    WOW, you are doing great. I've found that DECIDING is 90% of the struggle. Now the last 10% is faithfully following your plan. I am on Day #175 of a 218 day journey to get to and stay at goal weight. Keep up the good work. Write everything down.

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More progress pics: Only 13 pounds to goal!

Saturday, December 21, 2013





WOO HOO!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARTHAWILL 12/31/2013 4:03PM

    You look amazing. Fantastic! Keep up the good work!

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IAMZBEE 12/23/2013 10:25AM

    Fantastic job!!

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BANANAMAG 12/21/2013 7:38PM

    Awesome!!

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SIMONEKP 12/21/2013 5:33PM

    awesome, looking great

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KING_SLAYER 12/21/2013 5:30PM

    Lookin' good!

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STUDLEEJOE 12/21/2013 12:52PM

    emoticon You are doing great

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FALLENLEAVES28 12/21/2013 12:18PM

    Wow you look totally awesome emoticon

Hard work really shows!

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My Relationship With Food

Monday, December 09, 2013

One of the biggest lessons I have learned these past few months is about my relationship with food.

Ohhh how comforting it is. And oh how cranky I get when I can't have something indulgent.

These past few months have taught me to view food more as a fuel for my body rather than an emotional crutch or social celebration.

I find myself choosing foods because they are good for me rather than satisfying some craving.

I know it is okay to have "unhealthy" foods once in a while in moderation, but right now, I just can't do it.

Once I get to my goal weight (only 13.5lbs to go!) I will start incorporating those foods into my diet in moderation.

For now, I am choosing foods that will make me successful and get me where I want to be. I have been dieting for too long. Its about time I finally lose the weight and be able to enjoy my relationship with food rather than hating it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KING_SLAYER 12/9/2013 1:49PM

    Sometimes a little sacrifice is what is needed to reach our goals. Something I need to remind myself of every once in a while!

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Dealing with Self-Hate and Negative Thoughts

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

I've come so far over the past two months:

emoticon I've lost 30 pounds and almost 3 pant-sizes.

emoticon The jeans I've been trying to fit into for the past year are too loose for me and cannot be worn without a belt.

emoticon I weigh less than my husband (first time since I've known him--he's tall, but he's light as a feather!)

emoticon I haven't eaten off plan in 65 days; I survived a wedding, Halloween, multiple family gatherings, Thankgiving, and baking dozens of Christmas cookies with my mom and sister, all without eating off plan.

Despite all of these accomplishments, I've been dealing with feelings of self-hatred and negative thoughts about myself and my body.

emoticon I've had dreams about eating off plan and gaining all of the weight back.

emoticon I look at pictures of myself and pick out all of the body parts that are too big/need work.

emoticon I compare myself to other people.

emoticon I constantly think about food and my body, my goal weight, the current size of my pants and whether they fit, whether my shirt makes me look fat, or if it accentuates my current weight loss.

emoticon When I see someone I haven't seen in a while and they don't comment on my weight loss, I think about how much more weight I have to lose before people will start telling me how good I look, no matter how many times I've hear it before

All of this is really taking a toll on my mental health. I'm starting to hate my body/self instead of appreciating it for what its worth. The more I tell myself I'm wrong, the less I believe it.

I dealt with depression and attempted suicide twice in 2009. Once I met my husband in 2010, all of those thoughts disappeared and haven't returned. I certainly don't feel the same as I did in 2009, but I can feel a dark cloud hovering over me as if thoughts of self-hate are coming back. And its scaring me.

For now, I am going to stick to my plan and remember my goals. I hope this passes, otherwise I will seek professional help. I do not want to fall into the same pit I was in before.

I think I need a little more exercise in my life...


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSHIMAMA1 12/13/2013 9:44PM

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MOBYCARP 12/5/2013 7:27PM

    My sister tells me that it takes a year for every 25 pounds lost to adjust your self-image to your new body weight. That roughly fits with my experience. I lost 30 pounds in the last half of 2011, and didn't really get comfortable with being my new size until I'd maintained that loss for over a year.

How much of this is internal and how much is social, I don't know. It took about as long for people I knew to stop telling me I'd lost too much weight, or to stop expressing concerns about my health because of the weight loss. A year after that, the people who made comments of that nature have adjusted to my reduced girth.

I don't know exactly how this fits in with the self-worth and negative thoughts issues you describe, but there it is. It might help to understand that it simply takes some time to adjust mentally when you lose a lot of weight and become more fit.

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KING_SLAYER 12/4/2013 3:49PM

    Sorry to hear that you're having those feelings. I've been there myself, on more than one occasion. It's been years since I actually like myself so I understand the self loathing. I hope you find your way to a brighter outlook very soon.

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KABMPH 12/4/2013 12:41PM

    If you've suffered from depression before, might you consider going to talk to someone again, just in case?

I recently came across this website and really liked it: http://theselfcompassionproject.com
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TAMKAT79 12/4/2013 12:41PM

    Thanks for telling the truth about your experience. I know exercise increases endorphins, so more exercise may help. However, when I accomplish goals in one area of my life, my brain can get negative and try to tell me that everything else is falling apart and that I'm not good enough. When this happens, I make a list of the ways I am making progress and being successful in other areas of my life. Like how you're a good friend, daughter, parent, partner etc. Hang on. emoticon

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DELIA38961 12/4/2013 12:11PM

    congrats on the progress you have already made emoticon its easy to fall into those feelings of self hatred ( I used to a lot ) but you have to come to love and appreciate yourself with every flaw you do or do not have ..a person isn't defined by their weight so a person should never let those negative thoughts dictate who they are emoticon

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Month 2 Progress Picture

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Here's me exactly 2 months and almost 9 weeks into my program!

Down almost 30 pounds and only 15 pounds to my first goal!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSHIMAMA1 12/13/2013 9:45PM

    You look fantastic...way to go...proud of you

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SNOWFLAKELILYM9 11/30/2013 11:32PM

    You look awesome!!!! You are doing great!!!! Keep it up!!! You must feel fabulous!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KING_SLAYER 11/30/2013 8:04PM

    Looking good! Keep up the good work!

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DEB62BIE62 11/30/2013 6:15PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SPARKPOTATOE2 11/30/2013 5:36PM

    Fantastic, inspiring results. You look awesome! emoticon

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MRS_LAY0907 11/30/2013 5:29PM

  You are an inspiration

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IAMZBEE 11/30/2013 5:12PM

    Amazing job!!!!

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MOTTAMAMALOU 11/30/2013 5:01PM

    FANTASTIC!! Excellent job!


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BJPENNY70 11/30/2013 4:59PM

    Wow! You look marvelous! Keep up the good work.

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