MRS.SIX's Recent Blog Entries

170lbs!!! 170lbs!!! 170lbs!!!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

I didn't even see this happening. I got on the scale just because. I purchased it a week or so ago but I've tried to be really non chalant about not getting on it every every day. So I got on it earlier this weekend and it said 174 and I was kinda like, "man that sucks but alright no big deal".. and then I get on it yesterday and for a split second it registered 169.2 before it flipped to 170. And I was just as happy with 170 because heck thats pretty good for someone not trying!! :).. so it kind of inspired me. Well kinda. I can't say that I've been very good today. However I haven't had a soda since last Wednesday. So that is a whole week without a soda.. not even a diet. And I bought one today because I really really really wanted it, and I didn't drink it. Its still sitting in my purse. I just was like, I really don't want these empty calories. I mean it just doesn't do anything for my body. SO I didn't drink it. And its still there. And if I want it I COULD have it but I am in control and I DON'T want it. So there. Hopefuly this will continue. I have set my new goal weight at 150. 20 lbs is definitley in my range. I can do that. Heck when I was 240 I never thought I would see 170!!


The storm has finally arrived

Saturday, September 02, 2006

and I'm feeling much better. Had several seizures/ migraines on Thursday night and the storm hit us some time around then. I'm feeling much better now. Less moody and cloudy too. YAY!


Going to get serious have to eating better

Thursday, August 31, 2006

not really eating bad per say but not eating great either. I've really got to cut the soda out. I'm really just consuming most of my calories in soda. I have a lunch buddy though and she the same type of food that I do for the most part and so we have been somewhat sharing food so that might help. I also keep getting kind of dragged into food meetings in the morning and thats killing me. I can't say no to some things and I love breakfast food. And at work its not like you can really get anything off the grill for breakfast that is even some what ok. Its all pretty much bad. A piece of toast is about 1 inch thick and its heavy so I'm thinking its a good 150-200 calories at least. So even if I ordered a piece of toast and a egg I'm still not doing that great. I usually just get a veggie omelet with egg beaters but there still is no telling how many calories is in that. Of course I probably don't need to stress about how many calories are in that when I'm downing at least 500-1000 calories a day in soda. Today I didn't. I started to drink my first bottle and I thought "think that it will make you sick" and I thought "man I think I'm going to gag" and I just kept thinking that and then I threw it out. So I will keep doing that until I can't drink it. It helps a little with smoking. Not really, but I figure if I keep telling myself that it is that way then eventually I'll believe it. Maybe. Probably not. Oh well. Worth a shot. It doesn't help that I haven't logged anything in forever. I don't ever have time to log on here during the day and if I don't do it as I'm sticking it in my mouth it won't get done. So I'm going back to a paper journal for that purpose.


Am I no longer a liberal??

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

It occured to me tonight, although this has been long in the making I suppose, that I'm no longer a liberal. I can't be labeled as such. Now as I flip through here it would be hard to really see me as anything at all. But in real life I'm kind of a butt head politically. Yep, LELU, sorry. not sure what you are or if you will read this and take offense. Got to get it off my chest. I used to be a total tree hugging hippy to the very core. To my very inner body. Lets meditate and be happy and let everyone and everything be happy and let blah blah blah. Yep I was a total and utter hippy. And even to look at me thats generally what people see. I have this little flower purse I carry sometimes. Its a LIZ purse I like to smile a lot. It throws people off. Anyway my point is, I am a very happy perky person. I bounce around a lot and I generally seem like I'm on something to most. I'm pretty abnormal to most and they generally dont' know what to think so they think that I'm either flighty or drugged or just plan stupid. And most of all they think I'm a liberal. This always causes conflict when I'm out with a group of friends after work or just hanging with some coworkers. Could be because my usual "click" happens to be my coworker who happens to be a lesbian and well for some reason I guess that must mean I'm a liberal because you know all family friendly people must be liberal as well. Either way. She's a stud, so its like hanging out with a boy. And if you happen to be reading this, you know I love you so its all good! :) and your brilliant.. and you have a nice butt. There. Good. Either way my point really is that I'm not a liberal and to just look at my spark thing you can kind of gather that but I guess that I come off a bit harsh and I don't really want that and yet everyday people know that I'm a old liberal now a none liberal who looks like a liberal so its all good.. ok now I'm better. I think I need sleep. Only got about 3 hours last night.. Yup thats the problem.. bipolar and no sleep not a good combo.. Just a rambling along..



Tuesday, August 29, 2006

man am I bored. I mean really really bored. DH is asleep, and I'm just sitting here with nothing to do. And frankly I'm bored. Just plain out bored. Had 3 seizure/ migraines/ whatever the heck you want to call them today but now I feel fine. My feet are better so thats good. I'm ready to start going back out there and moving. BUT i know that if I do that I'm going to back pedal. I think in a week I'll be good. Or maybe I better wait till those orthos come in. yep I think thats it. Either way I'm not in my deep depression anymore so thats good. I guess I hadn't even mentioned that I was there. But I'm out and thats what matters. I hate feeling like that and I hate even more just feeling like whats the point. I much perfer my general hyper self. And although it annoys most, with it being so uncool to be happy and all, I'm going to do it anyway. I'm going to do it because my grandmother always said that I was like that. "Michelle, you just always got to piss against the wind." I'd always deny it as a kid because it was always because i had did something wrong but now I totally agree. Everyone is going to be cocky and "I'm cool because I have a chip on my shoulder and blah blah blah" so I'm just going to be my usual chipper freakin' self. HA ha! I mean even when I feel like death I'm going to smile and be cheery but generally I feel that way. Anyway, not downing them if they do feel that way but I have a feeling that its a act. Actually I know it is. And I guess thats good, because who the heck wants to be in a bad mood all the time? Anyway.. Diet isn't to bad or to good or to anything. This weekend was kind of messed up. I binged pretty bad but it was overcomable (just made that up I think). I'm being good other wise. I keep smoking and stopping and smoking and stopping so thats fn me up pretty bad. So I bought some gum. Seems simple enough lets see if it works. If I smack loud enough it seems to release some tension. Of course the ones around me are going to be a little annoyed but second hand smoke is annoying just as well I believe.. second hand smacking doesn't kill anyone the last time I checked... Unless they kill you, for smacking. okey dokey.. Fresh Mozz, Basil, Cap. Tomato, Vidalia Onion. and Proscuttio, roasted red peppers on fresh bread have been my main stay over the last couple of days (had a very small sandwhich of this today). Light on the meat. I've actually only been getting about 1000 calories in during the week daily if that (although it is high quality if that counts for anything). Sometimes less. Sometimes 500. Messed up really. Working on it. I think I'm a little unbalanced lately. But things will shape up. I will. The cloud is gone :)


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