MRS.SIX's Recent Blog Entries


Thursday, April 05, 2007

so my eating has really sucked butt lately. I would like to use other words to describe it but I can't at the time. I just have this awful hole in my stomach and I keep trying to fill it with food. I know its a stress thing. I know I am just respond to the stress that I'm having lately and I know I have to stop. And yet.. I am really having trouble. All I keep thinking is I really really want a double cheese burger from McDonalds.. extra onion please.. actually make it 2.. actually maybe 6. I don't want to go back down that road again. I really don't. I have to stop.



Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Life is really nice sometimes. Sometimes you get a new indoboard. I've had a lot of people ask... what happened to your old indoboard? Nothing at all I have to reply. This indo board is bigger.. bigger doesn't mean better however.. this is the indoboard pro. Its longer. A lot longer. you can do more tricks and it has a bigger roller. Of course I'm having a tad bit trouble with all of that. My stance simply isn't big enough. I'm only 5' 3". But I will master this. Well maybe not master. i will be better then some at it. I will enjoy it. Thats better. I can't be competitive because i generally suck at most things. Anyway I got my new board.. with the sunburst..and I love it. Its nice. I think that I am going to get the pro mini however. i have to admit that this board is just a tad on the big side. I'm having trouble moving on it. I want to practice more though.

On a side not.. yesterday i had a mole removed in my nether region. It was fine till this morning. tomorrow I go to the OBGYN to discuss massive scarring that I have due to the IUD that I had. I may have to have surgery. I'm not thrilled but it would be good not to have pain. I'm not really concerned with the pain ubt I am really worried about the whole ectopic pregnancy thing. So I've been a tad busy with things.
And I've been eating crap... completely.. so On to the diet thing.. crap crap and more crap.. and I've been stressed. And its a lot of things. Job, health, personal. And I never really thought of myself as a stress eater but apparently I am. Because I can't seem to stop.

So I'm going to indoboard and try not and think about all the crap that is stressing me!


feeling better

Saturday, March 24, 2007

I am feeling much better today. Could be because I kind of vomited about 3 hours worth of words and anger and self pity on my poor dh last night. I feel better though. Actually feel a hell of a lot better. Hole in the stomach is gone. Life is good. Making up is always good too.. Feel good hormones and all.. Anywayyyy.. So Life is normal again. Apartment is fairly clean. Dinners are planned out for the week. Grocery list is made for tomorrow. I'm doing laundry. DH is up at his mom's painting... doing the "man" thing.. and well I'm happy. Life is nice. Tomorrow I shall make some bread. I have lots of "lists" made and that always makes me feel better. Grocery lists, things to do this day, Bills to pay that day, Order to do this that day, Way to do that this day, Music to download that day, Movie to watch when, Movie to order now.. lists to make for what lists. What to eat, when. Exercise to do when and how at what degree. Ok.. I'm good.



Friday, March 23, 2007

soo.. I've been a little blah. I don't want to be. I want to be excited about my move and all but I can't be. I'm sad. I've not been sleeping well, I've been having a terrible hole in my stomach (anxiety?) that I can't fill no matter how much I eat, which just makes me more depressed because I'm just gaining weight which is something I don't want to do anyway. I'm just feeling confused. I'm not sure what to do. I'm torn. I love the people I work with. I'm going to miss them. I'm really scared about moving that close to my family, and yet I feel like this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm just not used to having that kind of "family". I'm used to it just being my husband and me. I don't know that I want to leave that comfort behind. I don't want to have to answer to anyone. I don't want calls from my mom to take her here and do this and do that. I don't want to feel bad when I say "no" and its just because I don't want to. I won't be able to have my standby of "I live to far away".. it will simply be "no I don't want to". I'm a "yes, I can do that" type of person. Thats why I left in the first place. I have a hard time saying no. I just don't want to feel any guilt about it. Because I shouldn't and I know that. Its not my fault that she is not taking care of herself and now she is in this situation but in the same breath I have to remember that I am a human and it isn't about fault its about doing what is "right". But on the flip side of that you can't help someone who refuses to help themself. I don't want her to drag me down. I hate saying things like that because it makes me feel bad. Makes me feel like a bad person. But that is exactly how I feel. I don't want her making me feel bad or wrong. I just want to be the same person that I have been since I have left. Which is better then I was. I'm a better person since I am away from her. Hopefully this will all work its self out. I will come to grips with it. Life will be good as it always is. I am strong and I know it. I will survive because I always have and this is really nothing compared to the life I have lived.



Friday, March 16, 2007

has been pretty good for me.. I'm excited about my move. Its months away but I'm excited. I've been really getting a lot of time on the good all indoboard too. Thats been fun. :).. other then that nothing new has been happening. Life is grand~


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