Thursday, December 15, 2011
I don't like buying clothes. For years, I only shopped for shirts and jeans when I needed to replace others that I had outgrown (often in a state of emergency). Now I need to replace the clothes that I've... What's the opposite of outgrown? Outshrunk?
Luckily, I had a bunch of clothes in reserve for when I would fit into them again. However, with my waist now 4 sizes smaller, I've reached the point where my reserve has been depleted. For a lot of people this would be a point of joyous celebration. But, for me, the actual act of buying new clothes brings me little joy other than knowing what size I can comfortably fit into now. Part of the problem might be that since my sizes have been dropping pretty quickly, I can't really reconcile the idea of buying anything nice because I know that in another month or two the new clothes will be too big. At the same time, I don't want to buy anything too low-end, because then I think, "gee, I lost all this weight and this is my reward." So, there you have it, stuck between a rock and a checkout line.
My temporary solution was that I bought a really nice pair of jeans that were on clearance. I hesitated to buy them because they were a little snug when I tried them on. But, I am still losing weight so it seemed to make sense. I ended up hang drying them (per the instructions and a friend's advice concerning the snugness). Then, when I went to put them on at home, they were already too big! Hopefully, it was the lack of heat drying, so I've rewashed and am going to dry them normally tonight. If not, I'm back to square one.
What should I do? What do you do?
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Today I was going to write about my shopping experience yesterday and my clothing dilemma, but now I think I will save that for next week. I don't make that many blog posts, but I'm working on it because a) it helps me score some bonus points in the End of Year Challenge that I'm participating in, b) I know that it's actually helpful for other SparkPeeps and c) it helps me as well. Before I make a blog post I usually read through some other blogs in an attempt to get my brain in the mood. I just finished reading a bunch of blogs and feel so inspired by all of the success stories I read today. It's really amazing at how many people are out there on the same journey, with similar struggles and challenges. I guess this is one more reason why I think SparkPeople really has an edge over some of the other weight loss and fitness web sites out there. There are so many people using SparkPeople and sharing their stories, challenges and successes. I'm very thankful that I logged on back in May and stuck with it all this time. Yes, it would have been nice to have started earlier (or to have avoided getting fat in the first place), but it is what it is and I'm just glad that I didn't wait any longer than I did. Yesterday was my 7 Month SparkVersary, which I forgot about until I read a blog today from someone who started on the same day that I did. I've said this before, but it needs to be repeated: you can accomplish SO MUCH in 7 months! So, if you are reading this and feel like you have hit a plateau or feel like you are only taking baby steps, just stick with it and all of those baby steps will eventually add up to amazing results.
Thursday, December 08, 2011
Today, I enjoyed the amazing coincidence of coming across the SparkPeople article "Tame the Emotional Eating Beast for Good" shortly after my "Beast" had been awakened. Read the short article here for the background story:
This morning at work I was forced to deal with an extremely stressful situation. Having a home office, I have the distinct disadvantage of having my entire kitchen available on demand for stress-eating. In the middle of dealing with the unfortunate event, I found myself pacing between our office on the second floor and our living room and kitchen on the main floor. I opened and closed the kitchen cupboards during multiple mindless trips back and forth. I was obviously not "hungry" hungry; it was stress and I needed comfort. My partner and assistant were also both in the office, so I didn't want to jump on the treadmill in the middle of the day and walk off the stress. So, I used a combination of the coping strategies found in the article above. Although, I didn't actually find the article until after I had already played the stalling game several times. And, I wasn't even looking for a stress-related article; it just presented itself to me. It's funny how that happens.
Now, as expected, the situation has passed (and I didn't eat anything). I'm still stressed out, but not as bad as I was earlier. I'm playing the distraction game right now by bouncing over here to post a quick blog and will probably run a few errands in a minute to fully vanquish "the beast" for today.
It's been a long journey, but I'm learning!
Saturday, December 03, 2011
I came across something this week that I didn't think existed... the "before" pictures. Most people who know me also know that I have always avoided having photos taken of me. And, I'm sure my disdain of personal photos grew significantly when I was obese. But, I haven't always been fat, yet there is still relatively little photographic evidence of my existence, even during my thinnest years as a vegan shortly after college. Anyway, just a week or two ago, I was ruminating about how it would have actually been nice to have "before" pictures of me (when I was at my all time heaviest weight). I realized that there would probably be no proof of where I had been or exactly how far I have come, but I might be able to find something fairly close. I think I looked for a few minutes, but didn't come up with anything. And then, I forgot about it.
Fast forward to a couple nights ago. My partner and I were watching TV and poking around on our laptops. He said something to the effect of "Oh My God, look at this!" I turned toward his laptop and my mouth dropped as he toggled between different photos from earlier this year. Most of the photos were from my grandma's funeral or related activities in late March. I was the same weight then as when I started SparkPeople on May 9th.
I never thought I would be glad to see that there were some awful pictures of me taken at my heaviest. And, inside, it is still bittersweet. Maybe the reason I don't like photos taken of me is because I never feel like the photos represent the "me" that I feel like I am. Even at my heaviest, I still felt thinner inside. Only passing the mirror or being easily winded from light activity would remind me of the condition I was in. As I continue to lose weight each week, I celebrate the fact that the true "me" is starting to look back at me in the mirror.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
I had an awesome Thanksgiving with my extended family on Thursday. Besides getting to spend some quality time with those I love, I indulged in some of my favorite holiday foods including turkey (skinless breast meat only please), sweet potatoes (topped with marshmallows and infused with brown sugar and butter), pumpkin pie, chocolate pie and ice cream. So, yeah, I definitely went over my caloric range for Thanksgiving, but I tracked everything I ate (all 3,051 calories) and don't feel bad about it at all. I know that if I hadn't tracked my food, I'm sure I would have probably consumed at least three times that amount! With 28 people at our family Thanksgiving, there was a ton of food to go around. There were plenty of goodies that I looked at and thought to myself, "I don't even want to try to figure out how to track that." So, for the most part, unless it was something healthy or easy to measure, I skipped it. I had my food scale with me and was able to access the recipes of the things I really, really wanted to try.
Speaking of my food scale, it's funny how people treat my methods a little differently now that I've actually lost a significant amount of weight. Back in May and June, when I would bring my trusty scale with me to events, I would get a few laughs and "oh brother" grunts out of some people. At Thanksgiving (64 lbs lighter), no one questioned my scale, my food selections or really anything I did. The only questions were "how much weight did you lose?" and "how did you lose the weight?" During Thanksgiving, I think I also received the most compliments on my weight loss since I started. This was probably because of the number of people in attendance who have actually seen me before and after. The results speak for themselves. I have obviously lost a lot of weight. Basically, it's awesome!
So, yes, Thanksgiving was great. I was especially thankful this year because I'm really starting to live life again. And, the more you actually get out and live your life, the more you notice all of the things you have to be grateful for. I'm thankful for my partner who stuck with me during some of the darker moments of my life. I'm grateful for my family and friends. I'm grateful for my business and our clients. I'm thankful that I came upon SparkPeople back in May and that I decided to get back in shape when I did (rather than wait another month, week or day). I'm grateful for being able to walk a long distance now, without getting winded. I'm thankful for being able to run, if I need to or want to. And, I'm very grateful for a summer and fall full of more experiences and fun than I have had in many years.
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