Thursday, December 17, 2009
It seems like there is always someone screaming in this house, it gives me headaches and stresses me out. I don't like to take pills, and I can't afford to be gone all the time. I have tried confronting the screamers, but, nothing changed. I'm looking for a house, but until then, my head is pounding.
Friday, November 13, 2009
I just saw a news article that said this website is like MySpace, and they showed someone with a front page, well, I didn't know we had that. Nor did I know this site was connected to a book, I found that at the library the other day, didn't check it out though. I also didn't find this website becasue I was looking weight loss info. I was using meebo.com to chat and saw a connection called Spark People, thinking it was the now defunct TheSpark.com, the same people that make Spark Notes. So far all I really do here is track my food eaten, and my weight and body measurements. It is also nice to make journal posts here because I don't really want to talk about my weight in my Live Journal. I have made one friend here though. I also like the Facebook style status update. I want to look up some other exercises here, as all I do currently are 100 crunches a day, and some days I feel burnt out on them.
I guess I should go make a main page. (;
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I want to come up with a reward system for weight loss. This idea sprouted from wanting to find something to reward myself for getting rid of some stuff I've been holding on to since I moved out on my own, but I didn't want the reward for that to be food related. What do some of you do for rewards? Do you go bowling, buy/make a new piece of clothing, get a new video game? I'm not able to spend a lot of money on frivolous things right now, so mine has to be kind of cheap.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I usually have two servings of oatmeal in one sitting, with probably a tablespoon of rasins, and a tablespoon of brown sugar and I make it with water. Today I used whole milk, triple the amount of raisns, butter, and the same amount of brown sugar. It tasted a little better, but my stomach is revolting and I feel like I ate a ton of food. Blaaaah!
I think I'll wean myself down to one serving, and go back to making it with water and normal amounts of everything else.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I saw pictures of A a few weeks ago after not having much contact with her over the past few years. She said she wanted to get gastric bypass because insurance would pay for it, and I assume she's had it done. I've seen a couple of head shots she posted to MySpace and I thought it looked like she had dropped about 50 pounds. The pictures she posted most recently include a couple of full body poses and she is probably a size ten or smaller. What really freaks me out is that she is about a year younger than me and has always pretty much looked her age, now she looks like she is pushing fourty, and I don't understand how that could have happened? There's a big difference in the new photos and the ones from about 9 months ago. Does weight loss do this to you? Was is the gastric bypass? She just looks weird to me, there's a hollow spot in the neck like some people have, and her collar bone is visible, at some angles she looks too skinny because you can see so many bones now. I'm afraid of looking freaky too. Mom got down to 130ish pounds about 10 years ago and she looked sick to me, and a few other people too apparently. The difference in Mom and A is about six or seven inches in height. Mom is 5'10" and A is well I don't know, short? lol I've always ribbed her about how short she is.
I am 5'9" and my goal weight is 175 pounds (I'm 275-280 because it keeps fluctuating.) I just think I would be happy at about a size 12 or 14, and have never really thought about being smaller or weighing less than 175. I like the way curvy women look, and I don't want to have a flat stomach, because I don't want to be able to see the "I just ate belly bulge." Also I already have no butt as a big girl, I want to at least fill my jeans a little.
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