Tuesday, August 21, 2012
So, it's been just over a week since I was last on SparkPeople...
It's astonishing how our excuses can take over our whole lives, isn't it?
Last week I swooned while I was exercising. So I haven't been. And the results have been... well... unimpressive. I have gained back so much weight and feel so absolutely rubbish.
I stopped drinking water and I stopped tracking my food.
But today is a new day and I am determind to begin again!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
So, I didn't get the job.
I am ... as predicted... devastated.
I don't really know what else to say.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Ok, so where to start?
I've been knocked around a bit these last few days. With my emotions all over the shop, I seem to be taking lots of things hard. I fell off the wagon and made friends with some Maggie Beer choc orange ice cream. Oh so sinful. I ate it unthinkingly while doing something else. So I really didn't taste it at all.
I also nearly passed out while walking yesterday. Not a fun experience, but I think my body is trying to remind me to take things easy right now.
I signed up to a lot of challenges last week while I was on a high. But I just can't keep up with them, it's too much. I am overwhelmed, so I do nothing. This is not good for me. I didn't even drink my 8 glasses of water yesterday!
So today is a new day. I will get back on track. I can do this. I just need to ease into it slower.
Friday, August 10, 2012
WARNING! This blog contains "women's" talk...
Ok. So I've had another rollercoaster this week. I know why, which is great, but the feelings aren't so much.
It starts with weight gain. I've been very carefully keeping within my calorie guidelines and trying my best to keep up with my other nutritional goals as well. I had been losing about 200 grams a day. And then Thursday morning I was up. I was a little disappointed but had a little chat to myself, did a little positive self-talk.
I had my trial on Thursday, and I thought I was doing extremely well. Until I was leaving. When the manager said something which completely threw my whole world off kilter. It was just a small thing, and upon reflection, I think I probably over reacted and misinterpreted. I think it was just a misunderstanding. But it has left me with doubt as to whether I will get this job or not.
By two hours after the trial had ended I was almost in tears. Everything was s@#!. The whole world was wrong. I was a failure. My little weight gain suddenly became a huge deal. My boyfriend probably thought I was hideous... Hrmmm? What's this? I've been so happy lately!
And then it struck me.... That sneaky little monster PMS has snuck up on me! Which also explained that weight gain...
I still don't know how I went in the trial, I haven't heard yet. Maybe I'm being too impatient expecting news already. Maybe I'm not putting out enough positive energy right now?
Well. There's nothing I can do about it, and stressing won't help, so I choose to focus on other things, like my new business, for now!
OH! WAIT! I had the back specialist yesterday. The good news is that based on the last treatment, he has identified that the issue is swelling, so I'm on anti-inflammatories for 1 month. The bad news is I'm still not recovered enough to begin any straining exercise, which means no yoga, no gym
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
So... I'm not sure where to start!
Lots of stuff has been happening. I got a call back today to go for a trial at the place I interviewed with yesterday. The trial is tomorrow.
I am pretty excited, a little nervous... full of wonder. A teensy bit tense. It has all happened so fast!
It's where I want to be, and I know I'm going to be devastated if I don't get it. Having said that, I feel increidbly confident. I think this job is *mine*!
I'm also in the process of starting an after school program at my girls' school. I am incredibly excited about that, as are they!
So, I joined the "Stress Busting" Challenge recently. And one of the goals is to write in a stress journal three times a week. I haven't done this at all yet. So this will be my fist attempt. I have noticed over the past two days that the things that really seem to stress me out the most are related to my kids. When I have to tell them the same thing over and over. When I ask them to do something and they don't do it. When we're running late for school. When they're whining. Oh dear god, the whining! I think that is the worst. It sets my nerves right on edge.
I have had the week off work so far, so I haven't had to deal with any of the rubbish going on there. So it's a bit hard for me to comment on where that stress comes from. Although I can take a huge stab and say that it's my manager, who does not pull his weight, and likes to blame other people for things not going to plan. I know I try really hard to meet the company goals, and often I don't. Often I simply run out of time, because I'm only one person, and I can't possibly do the work of two people by myself. I still try though. And I still get worked up that he won't do his share but will happily blame me for stuff not getting done.... phew... that was quite a rant... sorry. I guess I've been carrying that around for a while.
Otherwise life is pretty sweet at the moment. I have my lovely man, my lovely kids, beautiful friends, online and off, a good chance at a brilliant new job, a new business...
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