Saturday, July 24, 2010
Today was shoe shopping day. Not for me but for hubby. Trust me, I don't have to be talked into shoe shopping. I have to be put on a 12 step program to stop. But hubby is not me. He is not a shopper. He's a shoe critic.
About once a year I notice that the hub's shoes are really no longer shoes but have degraded to the point of being stinky, grimy, dusty, frayed, holey, leather strings and I totally freak and force him to go shopping. Today was the day. "OMG!! What has happened to your shoes?? The sides are blown out!" Even though he is virtually barefoot he is about as eager to go as someone headed for the gas chamber but today he did not put up much of a fight. Besides, I was not going to back down. We have fought this battle many times before and as he likes to point out, "Women are vicious!"
My son likens shopping with my husband for shoes to a leisurely swim down the Amazon river fighting off rapids, gators, and piranhas but today it actually went well. Like my son says, hubby usually tries on 50 pairs at 6 different stores all the while causing the shoe clerk to end up cringing in the corner and permanently on nerve medicine. It doesn't help that hubby's first job was as a shoe salesman so he finds every tiny minute flaw with every pair. They are all dog dookie to his astute eye.
We went to Sears and immediately ran into some dude who swore he was my husband's bestest friend years ago and I thought "Oh no, we will be here the rest of our lives listening to dumb hardy-har-har stories of adolescent male stupidity" but hubby didn't seem as enamored with his bestest friend as his bestest friend was with him. Hubby was nice but he got down to shoe business. YEAH!!
Hubby agreed to buy work shoes AND tennis shoes which is really amazing. And he liked the first 2 pairs he tried on!!!! What's the chances of that happening??!! I almost lost my teeth and they are real. I held my breath because I was afraid that it was some cruel joke and he would scream, "Gotcha!!"
So shoe day was painless. Unreal!! I told my son when he got home and he was incredulous and asked if I had somehow slipped something into hubby's tea.
After we got the shoes hubby then wanted to look at air conditioners in case we need to replace ours. We looked there and at Lowes. The next thing you know hubby will agree to hold my purse when I need him to. Nah!! Not likely.
When hubby is home he commandeers the TV like any red-blooded, testosterone-laden male and seizes and deftly wields the remote so that we never have to hear a disgusting commercial. To males almost all commercials are disgusting unless they feature beer, sports, buxom women, or bugs. I don't listen to commercial actually as my brain is wired to tune them out but this is a recessive genetic trait in males and my son and husband can't do it. So they are constantly griping and puking over every irritating commercial that makes them want to kill something. For my son right now it's the baby with the Hispanic accent who brags about having a denim diaper full of number 2. My son totally flips out on this. I nearly have to taser him to get him under control.
With hubby in charge of the remote we end up watching hours and hours and hours of U.S Marshals nabbing creepy bad guys and 2 filthy frightening men living lives worse than wild dogs. Drinking their own urine and eating lizards. It could be worse though. I could be forced to watch The Three Stooges which all men seem to think is funny for some odd reason. Another weird genetic mutation I assume. Or movies like Barbarossa. Believe me, I think Willie Nelson is as cute as a button but this movies sucks. Every time hubby stumbles across this narcoleptic piece of trash he acts as if he has encountered his first love. By the end of the weekend I'm glad to see hubby go back to work because I could not bear another hour of this survival challenge.
I apologize for not getting anything done online today.
I had supper all lined up with leftovers and ended up fixing a totally different meal. Had to change my darn food tracker!!
Oh, yeh. The plea for help...............................Please send ice cream. We are dying here.
Steps - 15374
Miles - 6.30
Net Carbs - 129
Fats - 51
Proteins - 100
Friday, July 23, 2010
Have you heard of the The New Shopping Diet where you wear the same 6 items of clothing for a month? It's supposed to relieve the stress of figuring out what you are going to wear in the morning. LOL. Are they serious? This is what is stressing so many of us out? Driving us to drink and self medicate and hook up with strangers? Pass the tequila. Have a Quaalude. A gross of condoms. The stress isn't caused by the burden of eking out a living while working full time (or needing to) in a sucky economy as we simultaneously try to meet the challenges of being a good mother/father/child/sibling/friend and keep up with the laundry/cooking/dishes/cleaning/car maintenance/lawn care, etc.??????? We are supposed to believe that we are being flipped out by the enormous responsibility of managing to come up with a killer looking outfit every day? LOL. Stripes or plaids? Cotton or synthetics? Pastels or eye popping color? Scarf or not? Does this make my butt look big? (You and I both know that if your butt is big we can tell. We are not confused by some creative swashes of fabric stretched across an ample badonkadonk.) One woman on the Shopping Diet bragged about wearing the same outfit 4 days in a row. PeeYew!!! Yech! Was this outfit washed every day? I sure hope so. I'm all for frugality and not having a closet full of unused clothes but I don't want to sit next to someone who has lived in the same unwashed outfit for 4 days up to a month. Can't you get the same deal on a park bench sitting next to a stinky homeless person? I'm actually low maintenance. I put my clean hand in my clean drawer and/or clean closet and pull out my clean clothes and put them on. Amazing!! No stress!! Trust me. I'm fine. LOL.
Angelina Jolie was on TV today and I wonder if she spends time fretting about her outfit. I hope not. She just doesn't seem the type. With a face and body like that she would look good in a potato sack and money is certainly no problem for her. I think that it should be a requirement that children should either be born rich or beautiful. Both would be nice and I'm neither but if I had to choose I would personally chose rich. Remarkably I've always been okay with my physical appearance even when I was obese. For me it's more about my body getting me where I want to go, doing what I want. But, money? I can always use that. Even if I had an abundance I could find plenty to do with it like saving unwanted pets, feeding the homeless, helping disadvantaged children.
Cheryl Crow was on TV this morning too. Another person I would have no problem looking like. She ages well. Not too shabby for 48. She can still walk around on stage on those spindly legs in platform shoes too. Sport a skin tight dress and still breathe. She is my kind of girl and has a new album. And she was not born that far from here in Kennett, Missouri. Something great came out of the New Madrid Fault besides Reelfoot Lake. Actually the latest theory about the BIG EQ of my region that caused the mighty Mississippi to flow backwards and Reelfoot lake to be formed is that the EQ was actually created by the Wabash Fault. At any rate, they are both way too close to me and I'm in the middle of them. SCREAM!!
Celebrities are kinky anyway. Today on Ellen they had a woman who made beauty products out of leftover Thanksgiving food. Gross. If you find yourself wanting to do stuff like this you really need to get help. She poured maple syrup over her head and wrapped it in plastic wrap. Thank goodness I can still afford conditioner. She made a paste out of egg white, honey, vitamin E, and plain yogurt, for firming breasts. Plain weird. Don't try this at home.
If you've noticed on the weather map my section of the country has deteriorated into something worse than Hades. We are under another Heat Advisory. Mid to upper 90's. The heat index is 105 to 110 which doesn't make this outdoor girl very happy. It's even too hot to cook out on the grill and becoming too hot to eat at all which may be a blessing. I can afford to miss a few meals.
If it gets worse I will just buy each of us a half gallon of Haagen Dazs, hand the boys a spoon, and say, "This is your food for the day! Go for it!" My son and hubby would be quite happy. Ever wonder what Haagen Dazs means? I always liked to think it meant something cool like, "This is some good stuff, man." But it doesn't. Haagen Dazs was created by 2 Polish immigrants and was a made-up phrase meant to look Scandinavian to Americans. It's called Foreign Marketing. They put a map of Denmark on their ice cream and the name Copenhagen because American supposedly liked Danish products. LOL. I don't speak Polish or Danish so it sounds "gut" to me. LOL. I had a year of Latin, a year of German, 2 of French, and 2 of Spanish. The extent of what I can remember of the first 3 is how to say, "I will have a steak, please." Priorities, baby.
Speaking of overindulgence, once years ago when I had a really bad 14 hour work day and was totally TOM insane I served a plate full of assorted candy for supper. My hubby was afraid to say anything for fear of being gutted on the spot. I was freakishly mean. My son who was little at the time said "Oh, boy!! Thank you, Mommy." He was such a good boy!! It was just the perfect thing to say and melted my little black heart. Yeh, I felt guilty about it later but we weren't fat then and no one died. It's too late to turn me in to DCFS. Get over it! LOL.
I'm not big on analyzing myself but not too long ago I did have an aha moment. I realized that I really don't love bread that much. Commercial bread anyway. Yes, I could still go for some homemade authentic Italian bread slathered in butter or some killer biscuits covered in sausage gravy. But plain white sandwich bread, a hamburger or hot dog bun? Nah, it bores me. Yawn. I finally realized I like the hamburgers better without the bun. The hot dogs too. It would be nice if this happens with other things - like I would eventually stop loving M&Ms, potato chips, crackers, etc. I seldom eat them but they still call out to me like the Sirens.
Well, I'm trying to do 3 loads of laundry today in addition to my usual bull crap. "Every day is a winding road..........."
Calories - 1604
Net Carbs - 81
Fats - 84
Proteins - 91
Steps - 15163
Miles - 6.22
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Sleep, my kingdom for some sleep. LOL. My biological clock is messed up and I am actually sleeping more and not waking up at my usual time in the early morning. Normally I wake up somewhere between 3:30 and 4, go to the bathroom, and then back to sleep and I still do that but I am not waking up between 5:30 and 6 like I usually do. Typically I wake up the second time and dose in a light sleep until I rouse on my own at around 6:25 but now I am waking up 15 minutes late. It doesn't sound like much but it is for me as I fix my hubby's breakfasts and only get up 20 minutes before he does. I don't set an alarm as it would wake hubby. Hubby is one of these people who gets up at the last minute at 6:45 and leaves for work at 7:25. He used to get up at 7 but when Wheeler was so sick he learned to get up early to help feed her before he left for work. I used to do the same. I got up at 4.20 and was ready in 10 minutes and had to be at work but 5. I'm low maintenance. LOL. I know I need the extra sleep but would rather get it at the beginning of my sleep time and not the end. Okay, I'm never satisfied. LOL.
Two people where my husband works have colds so he is worried about getting one. As he says, summer colds are the worst. He is also very worried about a co-worker. Business picked up so they brought my husband's assistant supervisor back to help him and he hasn't been right since they brought him back. He's in his late 60's and came back forgetful, confused, weak, tired, drowsy, shuffling his feet and he has gotten worse. He is making mistakes and not very productive. He is having a bunch of tests to find out what is wrong and hubby has decided it would be best to not have him at work since he is so ill and could get injured. The owner is one of the people who has the cold too so he went home to rest which also worries my husband as the boss had treatment for cancer not long ago. He did really well with it especially for someone his age but he lives alone and we all know what it's like to be sick and by yourself. His daughter is good about helping him but she works at the plant too and is probably the busiest person there. So hubby could not discuss the co-worker's illness with the boss and his son the plant manager, who is exceptionally good with problems like this, was not available so hubby went to the bosses daughter to discuss the problem. She's a very intelligent, capable person but he hates to bother her as she is so busy. The co-worker did not want to be laid off again so hubby feels really bad but he is mostly worried about what the tests will show. My hubby worked with the assistant supervisor at his former job. The plant he works at now has a more family atmosphere and they have worked together for years. Hubby has been there since 1993. So if something happens to one of them it affects them all. Another employee is experiencing a marital breakup and several employees seem to know though no one is talking about it.
I decided to get my work done and get outside before the heat and daily storm arrived. After breakfast I spot cleaned the pet cages, gave the chinchillas their morning snack, swept the floor, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, loaded the washer, spot cleaned the bathroom, made some French dressing, poached some eggs for lunch, emptied the waste cans, and went outside to take out the compost/recyclables/old timothy, fed the neighbors dogs and wildlife, filled the bird feeders, swept the porches/walks/patios, and burned the trash, picked up limbs, weeded the hostas bed and veggie garden, cleaned the patio furniture, picked some flowers, cleaned the fountains and put mosquito stuff in, went to the post office and got the mail, and picked a bag full of yellow squash, zucchini, broccoli, cucumbers, jalapenos, bell peppers, Anaheim's, poblanos, banana peppers, and a tomato - our first. Looks like the cabbages are about ready to pick.
And after all that I was behind on steps so I immediately had to start walking and get some in before starting lunch. In no time at all it was time to start supper as well.
I saw the doe and her 3 babies today. She trumpeted when I was coming down the path and they scattered.
Calories - 1376
Net Carbs - 61
Fats - 66
Protein - 87
Steps - 17586
Miles - 7.21
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
A friend of mine send me an email around the 4th of July with pictures of some turtle burgers. No they were not made of turtles though my husband actually has eaten snapper and says they are delicious. The turtle burgers were a gigantic mound of ground beef topped with cheddar cheese, wrapped in bacon, with hot dogs as the head, tail. and feet. They looked good but the calories would be enormous. Turtle burgers anyone?
I took my pedometer off when I took a bath and forgot to put it back on. LOL. Oh well. I have plenty of steps.
We just got our daily thunderstorm.
Calories - 1430
Net Carbs - 91
Fat - 65
Protein - 91
Steps - 20035
Miles - 8.22
Get An Email Alert Each Time MORTICIAADDAMS Posts