MORRIGHAN   2,654
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MORRIGHAN's Recent Blog Entries

Heavy Inspiration

Saturday, February 02, 2013

This woman has it all right!

myfriendteresablog.com/so-youre-feel
ing-too-fat-to-be-photographed/


I think it'll still be a long time before I willingly get in front of a camera again, but it's a good bit of inspiration to consider in the meantime.

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Have a great weekend, everyone - Happy Imbolc, Candlemas or Groundhog Day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEEDINGHELP5 2/5/2013 1:17PM

    I have been thinking about this for a while. I look at the women I work with, some are tall, some are short some are heavy and some aren't. I love them all, I don't judge them on how they look, I don't criticise them on being overweight. I enjoy each and everyone for who they are. Why do I criticise myself so harshly. I think people look at me and say; "wow you are way overweight."
I am never in front of the camera. I am always hiding.

Some more to think about.

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PRAIRIECROCUS 2/3/2013 5:18PM

    Great blog !
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KA_JUN 2/2/2013 4:15PM

    Inspiration comes from many places! Good luck! emoticon

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Slow and Steady - Getting Personal

Monday, January 28, 2013

At weigh-in yesterday, I saw a loss of a half pound. I believe that makes it three since I joined the challenge in the MB members team, where we're going to lose five pounds before Valentine's Day. Two weeks, two pounds to go!

Today I changed my official goal here at Spark. Originally, when I tried coming back last spring, I'd set my goal a little unrealistically, I think. I wanted to get to my goal weight by October 31st of this year. Because I am taking it slow this time, and because I have so much to lose, I've reconsidered. I've given myself another year to reach my goal. By October 31st of 2014 - I want to be at goal weight.

Nice and slow.

The last time I had any major weight loss, I'd done 100 pounds in just under a year. I looked great, I felt great - and two years later I was thrown into a situation that was unbearable, and one most women would simply walk away from. At the time, it was the only way I could keep a roof over our heads and food in my kids. So, for six months I sat in a 15 foot by 15 foot room with the woman who had destroyed my marriage, put my daughters in harms way, and taunted me daily with the fact my ex lavished her kids while pretty much completely ignoring his own. Was it the truth? Not so much, but at the time, I didn't know that. All I saw was the two of them living happy family while my daughters were miserable. We never knew if they'd be picked up for their visitation weekends, or not. I never knew if once he had them, he'd bring them back - or not. That was the tease, for a long time. I've since found out that a lot of it was her. She ENJOYS this kind of thing.

In that six months, I gained 50 pounds back. I became so anxiety-riddled that getting out the door every day to go to work became a struggle with panic attacks and self-doubt. No one saw it there, because once I was at the course, I was fine. I'd had an hour of driving to build myself up. She had the day to tear me down. When all was said and done, the course, and the follow-up fundraising and eight-week job - I'd gained it all back. And then some.

Add the anxiety and panic attacks to 120 pounds of extra me, and you have today. There's a little less of the anxiety, I'm re-learning all kinds of ways to deal with everyday things. If someone were to ask me to attend a convention now? Okay, that has happened in the past couple of years. Friends want to meet up with me at some convention or other and although I desperately want to go, and even when finances permitted... I just can't face the thought of more than ten people at a time. Still, slow and steady and someday, maybe I can be all of me again. Without, you know - all of me. ;)

Nice and slow. I've learned my lesson in doing things the fast way. The only way is to re-learn and change behaviours. And that takes time.

emoticon everyone - have a great week!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRAIRIECROCUS 1/31/2013 4:16PM

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CAKAROO 1/31/2013 6:16AM

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CANYASMOM 1/29/2013 11:41AM

    Sounds like you have a good plan in place for the goals you want to achiever. emoticon I'm cheering for you!

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KIMBERLY19732 1/28/2013 7:49PM

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Where there's a will...

Sunday, January 20, 2013

It's been a few days since the last blog post... my computer is still behaving badly, and borrowing this laptop from my daughter is like asking her to pull all her teeth, without benefit of anesthetic.

Today I managed to get all my tracking put in since Wednesday, and without even realizing it, I not only made my weekly fitness goal, I broke it. It was a weird feeling, since I didn't feel like I was doing much at all.

I saw the doctor on Thursday, and found out everything in my blood work was perfect, although the iron was a wee bit high, and the hemoglobin is a bit low. My cholesterol levels have gone down since the last time they were checked, which thrills me to no end, AND my sugar levels were fine - so my mom can take her "pre-diabetic" warnings and rumor-mongering and put it somewhere as dark and pessimistic as she is.

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I just have to keep working on keeping my blood pressure down...

I also finished and framed my niece's birth record. I'm debating whether or not to add it to my tracked goals, because it was such a tiny project, compared to what the other folks have been working on. Anyway, we dropped it and the mommy-gift off on Thursday, and I avoided picking the baby up... I wasn't feeling too hot, and if I have something, I don't want to share it with her, only a week old.

So I think that's about it. I'm hoping to have my computer working again very soon, but I guess we'll see. My ex-husband thinks its the RAM chips, so we're going to experiment and see how it goes. Fingers crossed!!!

Have an amazing week everyone....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORRIGHAN 1/25/2013 4:10AM

    Thanks for stopping by the blog, folks! emoticon

SlimLila - how's your nephew doing? Sounds like he's had a very scary first few days - I hope he's doing much better!

My oldest was premature and needed to be revived twice before things evened out. She fought through and was even released from NICU two weeks early, and then spent only three weeks in the T1 unit. When she was 18 months old she was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy because of the brain damage, but she's overcome most of that, too - walks, runs and graduated high school almost two years ago. I watched her get her diploma thinking "and they said she wouldn't walk, and probably not get through grade school..."

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CAKAROO 1/21/2013 10:22AM

    Have a good week!

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PRAIRIECROCUS 1/21/2013 1:18AM

    I enjoyed reading your blog !
I hope that you and yours will have an amazing week, too !
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SLIMLILA 1/20/2013 7:31PM

    I had a great nephew born just over a week ago, and he had to be air-lifted to Halifax (from Cape Breton) and have major surgery with a specialist and then after a few days in hospital, he then had to take a shuttle drive 5 hrs. to finally get back home.

Amazing what little babies are capable of. Hope your niece is healthy and doesn't need any of these medical interventions or adventures.

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SPIRALDOWN 1/20/2013 7:17PM

    sounds like you had a productive time...

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Busy Week

Monday, January 14, 2013

It has been a busy week here... between so much work, computer issues, sudden trips to town and working lightening speed on a gift for my new niece, it's been nothing short of crazy.

So far this month, though - I've lost a pound and a half, and worked in 250 minutes of activity. I've made time to plan meals instead of tossing whatever into a pot and hoping for the best... and best of all, there's been family time.

Definitely an awesome start to the month, the year... and the new life. emoticon

Goals for this week include doubling the activity minutes, continue with the meal planning, get a start on spring cleaning, and figure out what's up with that computer!! (currently using my daughter's laptop...*sigh*)

Have an extra-motivated week, everyone - see you Wednesday...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FULLBLOOM 1/15/2013 2:48PM

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CAKAROO 1/14/2013 6:15AM

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Planned & Measured

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

The Weekly Challenge(s) team posted a choice for this week... and I chose to plan our meals ahead, and use better portion control. Since our kitchen scale died years ago, I've been using measuring cups - when I remember. This week I'm definitely focusing on that.

Our meals being planned ahead is a bit of a challenge all on its own, actually. I've got a great deal of work in the next few weeks/months, and only by sharing the household responsibilities with the girls pretty much evenly, am I going to be able to take the time to exercise, eat properly, work and sleep. I'm hoping by involving them in the planning, they'll get motivated to shoulder some of the cooking, too...lol!

In Manitoba Members, the challenge is 5 pounds by Valentine's Day. I'm so up for this! Last time I was active on SparkPeople I pretty much avoided the Manitoba and Canada teams... so I've made a conscious decision this time to be more involved, and I've found a great set of ladies that are participating as well. Thanks to FullBloom, BogFarmer and Corander1 for the support and encouragement!

As you can probably tell by all the exclamation points, it's been a good week so far; I promise to find another method of spreading the happy without it being all !!! lol emoticon Oh wait... I *do* have another way. I hit some pretty impressive SparkGoodie points today, so I think I'll share 'em around.

Have an awesome week folks... emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRAIRIECROCUS 1/12/2013 1:32AM

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