Monday, April 27, 2009
****WARNING, THIS IS NOT A POSITIVE BLOG ENTRY****
what can i say? this isn't about the lack of following a diet or exercise..
i hate my job. there, i've said it...i am going to whine, rant and complain about it so beware.
i am probably one of a million people that say it on a daily basis and unfortunately, am one of a million that can't do anything about it...at least right now..
"oh, at least you HAVE a job"..."oh, it could be alot worse" or some other such drivel that does absolutely nothing to make me feel that i should be thankful. i know i am fortunate to have a job but that's it...i don't find any happiness in it...i am basically spending 8-9 hours a day staring at the grey material that makes up my corner cubicle.
..i have a supervisor (a true mockery of the word when it comes to her) who is apparently the darling of the company...okaaayyy..and i just fell off the turnip truck...GRRRRR, i am not happy right now so please bear with me..we'll call her lucy
****DISCLAIMER- NO JEALOUSY, TRUST ME ON THIS****
these are the excuses i have to deal with regarding my immediate supervisor:
1) Oh, she's not used to being a supervisor - WTF are they paying her 50k a year for?
2) Oh, she's under alot of stress - again, what are they paying her 50k a year for?
3) Well, you know how she is - obviously you do too, but insist upon keeping her in that position
4) She tends to over dramatize things but what can you do - um...aren't there any daytime soaps that she can audition for?
she was the one that told me to apply for the position that i am currently in...i made a lateral move because i like variety in my job, i like doing other things in my job...we were fine for a bit until she had the audacity to say that i TAKE alot of time off...i don't know where she gets that information from because i can pull up my sign in log and point out all the OT i have done...her reasoning stems from the fact that i had the bloody nerve to call in SICK one day when her boss was looking for a spreadsheet and i wasn't in....she then proceeded to say that i am always late and i am never at my desk...let's back up the gravy train for a moment...where the heck is she getting this? i could not tell you as i am AT my desk EVERY day ON TIME and i rarely take time off...i was so livid and i told her that she was WAY out of line and i would like for her to point out all the times that i am late...it escalated to the point where i went to HER boss and told her that lucy had NO RIGHT whatsoever to jump on me without any proof...
the response? Oh, well, you know how defensive lucy is...ARE YOU KIDDING ME? what kind of response is that? i'm supposed to overlook the fact that this woman is attempting to dress me down, in front of a co-worker, without having proof to back it up? the co-worker, bless her heart, was trying to smooth things down but i wasn't having it...
there was a request put in for a log-in id with password, i sent an email to both lucy and the branch manager (let's call him vernon), vernon asked lucy if she wants him to put in the request and lucy comes barreling into my cubicle and tried to jump down my throat, accusing me of trying to make her look bad..i said to her in perfect english "oh, like i have nothing else to do but to make you look bad"....puh-leeze!
she bites my head off when i ask questions, she complains when i take time to DO my job...i guess if i was making 50k, then i can do a half-a$$ attempt like her...it is an endless cycle...i actually have a knot at the back of my neck from it..
i admit to messing up payroll...i was very upset to have missed a schedule...this happened two weeks ago and after getting raked over the coals, i thought it was over and done with...lesson learned...but no, she waits until there is an audience and decides to let me and everyone else know that if i had done this, that and the next thing, then i would have not have messed it up..i was practically cross-eyed with anger at this point and i asked her if she was suffering from dead horse syndrome..she just stared at me while the others started laughing...
my doctor is in oshawa which is a good hour and change by transit..i had to wait 3 months for an appointment, she told me that i could take a sick day to go because by the time i am finished and to get back, most of the day would be gone...last thursday she told me that i have to take a vacation day and i said NO..i am not...she told me in front of witnesses that i can take a sick day so she says instead, to get her a doctor's note..whatever, not a problem...then the question is why do i have my appointments on fridays? what the heck is she talking about? i see him once a year...i've only been at that job since july...any other appointments i've had were in the middle of the week and in toronto where i can get transit and be back at work to make up my time...i'm not understanding this at all....
i don't care at this point...i am not playing patty-push-over anymore...i have already let her boss know, the branch manager and my co-workers...i am more than likely being branded a trouble maker but why should i have to put up with behaviour like this? i do my work...i'm at my job during business hours...if i have to take time off, i make it up...yes, its my job...yes, it pays the bills, blah, blah, blah, blah...
i am looking for another job...i post my resume online for monster and workopolis...i email my resume out, i am doing everything to get out of there and it takes time to get into something...
i am hoping to have another job by the end of the summer...what i am looking for is a job that i can retire from...i figure i have a good 25-30 years left and i would like to spend part of that in a stress-free environment...i know what you are thinking, there is no such thing as a stress-free environment, let alone job..but i do believe its out there regardless
i just have to have some patience
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
not looney toons or anything like that (even though sometimes i think i can give foghorn leghorn a run for his money) i am talking about those wonderful coins that weigh down your purse, your pockets and are always good at tim horton's or coffee time (double double, eh?)
outside of coffee, what the heck can you buy with a loonie?
only in my world does redemption cost a loonie...for one dollar, i can absolve myself of all the guilt that comes with eating things that i am not supposed to eat, whether it's fast food, popcorn ( the extra buttery kind-no wood chips for me) and consumption of beer (not my doing, the hubby did that one)..oh daughter of mine decided that in order to curb this rambunctious behaviour, we will put a toonie or a loonie in a jar for each and every infraction...you know, sort of like paying a fine...my contribution to the coffers is up to 8 dollars so far..i'm getting penalized for stuff that is ALREADY in the house...i thought that i could get a pass since it isn't stuff that came from mickey d's or something like that but nope...i touch the buttery popcorn on movie nights and i have to pay up..guilt doesn't sit well with me either...i had something today (nope, not telling) and i put my coin in the jar...both the hubby and daughter had something to say but i quickly shut them down with the fact that i am HONEST and i am trying...(well, aside from the pralines and cream ice cream in a waffle cone on thursday, i am really trying :) hubby stuffed a couple of IOUs in the jar LOL..easter dinner we were given a pass so i took advantage and had a piece of cake...when i tried to have some today, holy crap, did i ever hear the noise...if i thought that having easter cake after easter would be a no-no, i would have had a bigger piece.
i asked if she would take quarters instead of the solid coin and she politely (and quite firmly) declined. her thought is that if i am making the effort to pay my fines in solid coins, then i should put the same effort into eating healthy so i wouldn't have to pay a fine.
i hate it when she is right :)
Monday, March 09, 2009
it took over me the last couple of weeks...so much that i've gained back ALL of the weight that i had lost while i was on this challenge...i know exactly when i lost totally control and at the time, i did not care but standing on the scale this morning, it really socked it home that unless i pull my crap together, i will be looking at another year of loathing
i gorged on wings, pancakes, bacon, too many eggs to count, bread, buttered popcorn and other equally disgustingly good gruel...i inhaled it all and went back for more...
yes, i know....
i'm sitting here at work, trying to finish the last bit of water before i leave and i am thinking about the salad waiting for me...just the thought of salad is making me close my eyes in resignation...there are many other healthy foods out there but i just feel so blah at the thought of cooking and eating them again....
yes...i know...i'm in total agreement...
i should have reached out to my team-mates but i didn't...
i should have been more diligent in watching what i ate but i didn't...
i should be more vocal when it comes to temptations but for some reason, the work NO was not in my vocabulary for the last little bit...
am i kicking myself in the behind? oh you bet...i mean, really hard too...
Saturday, February 28, 2009
okay...this is an issue for me....my mom and i went into walmart in the course of purchasing much needed items, we saw pink scales...right away we knew if was for the breast cancer fund so we purchased two of them. i've always wanted a digital scale anyway.
we got home, jumped on them and being that it was the end of the day, i thought maybe i would be over my posted weight by about 2 -3 lbs...WRONG!! i saw a 9lbs difference (no way was i at 179 lbs) and immediately jumped off. i jumped back on and then the slow seethe began...i have the old fashioned one, the one with the springs and i thought that it was pretty accurate and now i am not too sure...which one is the correct weight?
i got up this morning and did my exercise, thinking that maybe it was some sort of glitch...i jumped on it and it was down 5lbs bringing it to 174lbs. i was not happy at all. after my shower, i weighed myself again and it was down to 173.6...i did the jump off and on routine two more times and it stayed at 173.6.
my question is which one would be the correct scale? the correct weight? i try to weigh myself once a week, on wednesday mornings and i post what i think is the accurate weight but now i am not too sure. i have my physical in april and i don't want to give my doctor any room for him to make his famous comments (we go back to when i was a kid).
the scale he uses in his office is the old fashioned one with the bar on the top. my mom suggested maybe trying to weigh myself everyday, to see where my weight fluctuates, what i am eating to cause it and to see where i can make modifications. i really appreciate her idea and i am also asking if anyone has any suggestions.
i was really happy about the 170.5 but now i am not too sure.
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