Sunday, November 14, 2010
I went shopping today because I got a coupon for Lane Bryant and some of their sweaters looked really cute. None of the sweaters I had fit and I wanted to check out their jeans.
I ended up getting the right fit yellow jeans in a size 26. I tried on tons of pairs. I could fit into a 22 in the red triangle type, but they were a little too snug. The 24 in those fit in the waist, but were too baggy in the legs, which is the problem I have being apple-shaped. The blue circle ones were way too big all over and looked like a sack. So, even though I had to get a 26, the yellow ones fit great. They are fitting, but not too snug. I hate too tight pants! My size 24 pants from Avenue are too big now. I can still wear them, but they don't look great.
I got a few sweaters that are really nice and soft, and I got 2 new bras which will hopefully hold me over a while. I went down a whole cup size.
Sometimes I wish I could tell my body to only lose weight from my stomach for a while. I feel so out of proportion with my legs slimming down so much. My stomach definitely has, but not as much as I would like.
Overall I am pleased with my clothes. I am in a 22/24 shirt. I tried on an 18/20 and it fit, but was a little too tight fitting for me. I feel self-conscious if my clothes are too tight.
It feels amazing to get smaller clothes. I can't wait to see what size I'll be in next fall/winter. :)
Here is a before photo. It was taken in March at my heaviest weight of 325.
This was taken today. I weigh 263 now. That is 62 lbs lost.
I love the sweater I got today.
Friday, November 05, 2010
My total weight loss (since April of this year) is 60 lbs. Never in my life have I lost so much weight in one stretch. It feels amazing and I am extremely proud of myself because I have worked each and every day for this.
I have essentially changed my lifestyle.
No longer do I grab soda after soda from the fridge. Most of what I drink is water. I plan healthier meals and find different ways to cook things. It's actually kind of fun sometimes to see what I'll come up with. Exercise has been a regular part of my life since April and most days I actually look forward to it. When going to a restaurant, fast food or otherwise, I make better choices. I rely on sparkpeople, because without it and the support I've received here, I know I would not have been able to do this.
I feel better and stronger than I have in years. I've spent almost my whole life being overweight and unhealthy and feeling powerless to do anything about it. Not anymore. A fire has been lit inside me and it will never burn out!
I've learned a lot.
It's ok to not be perfect. I have not so great eating days once in a while, but I don't use them as an excuse to continue on that way.
Losing a lot of weight each week is just not reasonable, slow and steady wins the race.
Exercise can be fun! Trying as many different things as you can really helps you determine what's right for you and keeps you motivated.
Healthy eating is not a life sentence of eating bean sprouts and food with no flavor. I can eat MORE when I make good choices and I don't have to feel hungry. My body craves fruit and vegetables and wheat bread! Who woulda thunk it?
I've learned that not everyone will praise you on your accomplishments and it's likely because they are not comfortable with you changing. That is ok, because I am doing this to better my life, not theirs.
I keep trigger foods out of the house. If there is something I really love (ice cream, chocolate) and I'm in a mood, I will reach for it and have a hard time stopping BUT I don't deprive myself of treats. Most people might be surprised to know that several times a week I have a treat. I will get a frozen yogurt or have a couple cookies or buy a small candy bar or split a dessert when we go out. I think completely denying yourself these things only makes you want them more.
Perhaps the biggest thing I've learned to do is believe in myself. I never really believed in the past that I could lose weight or that I even deserved to be healthy. It sounds crazy, I know, but I realize now that I am worth it. I am worth getting up everyday and taking care of myself so I can take care of my family better and be around a long time for them.
There are so many things I still want to do, and I know if I keep going I will get there. Riding a roller coaster and going kayaking are at the top of my to do list. I think by late spring I'll be there.
For those just starting out and especially for those who have a lot to lose...if you're reading this, just know you can do it. When you lose those pounds and realize your clothes are falling off you, it's the best feeling. You know all your hard work is paying off.
I owe my life to sparkpeople, and that is a completely serious statement. I know I'd still be doing what I was doing, probably 10 or 15 lbs heavier and feeling like crap everyday. My life is better and for the first time in a long time I feel good about myself and how I look. I am still not thin by any means, but I am no longer ashamed of my body.
(((HUGS))) to all you guys and I wish you the best on your journey. You can do it! I hope by Christmas to be at least 70 lbs down. We shall see!
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all." Emily Dickinson
"Hope is the dream of a soul awake." unknown
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Last Monday I started having pain around my wisdom tooth. I get this from time to time and normally it goes away. I need them removed, but haven't been able to do it yet because my husband has to wait until Jan before he can take off work. The gum flap gets irritated, swollen and infected and it's very painful. I worked out on Monday (finishing the 2nd week of couch to 5k) and by Tuesday my mouth was really hurting. Wednesday I went to the dentist.
She prescribed me antibiotics, a mouthwash, and some pain medicine. I felt exhausted because I hadn't been sleeping well. I'd take 3 advil and it did nothing for the pain. I took the pain meds Wed night so I could sleep and apparently I hadn't eaten enough because all Thursday morning I threw up. It was terrible. I actually looked green! All I could do that day was lie on the couch.
For a couple days all I ate was yogurt, applesauce and oatmeal. By Friday I could eat real food again if I chewed on the right side, and I overdid it the last couple days. When I was feeling bad I ate too much ice cream and frozen yogurt. I was sleepy from the medicines so I wasn't doing much. My mother in law took the kids yesterday so I could rest, and that is what I did, rested and ate.
I got a good night's sleep last night and I feel better, so I decided enough of being a lazy slug and eating crap to make me feel better. I made myself a breakfast burrito with eggs, turkey bacon, spinach and a little cheese on a whole wheat tortilla. I am going to eat better today and get back to what I was doing before I end up gaining a bunch of weight.
Soon, I am going to get out there and do some exercise. I may do a workout video and go for a nice long walk to ease my way back in after not working out for 5 days, which is the longest time I've gone without a workout since April!
I am a little disappointed in myself, but I know I will get back on track and not let a few days of lethargy keep me down.
To anyone out there who is having a rough time, let's do this together. We CAN do it!!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Tomorrow will be 6 months since I signed up on Sparkpeople. I'd heard about the site several times, but for some reason never joined until one day when I'd been feeling particularly down about all the weight I'd gained. For so long I'd been telling myself I needed to fix this. I knew that I wasn't feeling well and was tired all the time because of my weight. I've been weary carrying the burden of my weight all these years. Enough was enough.
It seemed hopeless that I'd ever lose weight and keep it off. For years I'd lost and gained the same 25 or 30 lbs. I would diet and was not eating enough, and I was overdoing it with the exercise, which only caused me to quit because I was miserable. I'd end up hurting myself and just got burned out, and then I'd hate myself for quitting and go back to my cycle of overeating to soothe my pain.
After reading articles on the site, and The Spark, something clicked inside my brain. I felt I'd been presented with an idea of losing weight that could actually work and that made sense. This would not be a temporary fix. I would not magically lose all the weight in a month. There was no pill or special drink or cookie. I would have to work for this, and I would have to change my life one step at a time. So, I started out with baby steps. I realized it is not all or nothing. If I slip up, I just get back on track.
I have consistently lost weight since April. My total weight loss so far is 57 lbs. That is the most weight I have ever lost, and I have done it without always feeling like I am starving and I've built up my endurance gradually. I've been honest with myself, and when I feel I can try something more challenging, I go for it.
The support I've gotten has been amazing. I believe in the past that lack of support is one of the reasons I'd never stuck with a lifestyle change. If I'm having a bad a day, I read some blogs of inspiring members and it always helps perk me up. A comment or goodie from someone really helps when you're having a hard day. People here are going through the same thing. There is no judgment, only compassion. Finally I felt like there were people I could talk to who really got it.
My life has changed tremendously in these 6 months. I am healthier, happier and for the first time I have hope. I know in my bones that I will do this. I will lose all the weight I need to lose. There is still a long road in front of me, but I will keep on trekking.
I think we all reach a point where we've had enough. I reached mine and Sparkpeople saved me. Everything about it just works-the trophies and awards, support from others, tracking your food, the recipes, article and blogs. I only wish I'd joined earlier. I do feel I was ready to change, and I think that is important, because no one else can do this for us.
So, I want to share some of my accomplishments so far.
1. 57 pounds are gone. I no longer weigh over 300 lbs!
2. I am gaining a lot of muscle. My legs are looking very toned and I can feel a hard muscle in my arms.
3. I can see my collarbones again!
4. It's no longer hard to shave my legs.
5. I can ride a bike with my son.
6. Walking is easy for me. I regularly walk 3 miles.
7. I've gone from a size 28 to a 22/24.
8. I feel a lot better and have a lot more energy.
9. My confidence has gone way up. For the first time in a long time I don't feel ashamed of how I look.
10. I started couch to 5k and found that I actually run!
11. I'm learning to love my body, even with all its imperfections. It has accomplished a lot (2 kids) and never given up on me, even after the abuse I've put it through.
I'm sure there are many more things I could list, but these come to mind.
I hope that anyone who is reading this who may just be starting out will realize that they can do this. I never thought I could. I never thought I'd start to like exercise and crave vegetables and beat my soda addiction. If I can do it, you can, too.
Let's do this together. Let's live our lives and quit missing out on things because our weight holds us back.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
This morning I did my 3rd session! It was 39 degrees when I got up early this morning, but I love the cold weather. It also let me wear my hoodie, which is good because I can put my phone in the pocket, and I feel like my jiggling is camouflaged a little bit. ;)
Our neighborhood has a lot of hills, and when I am running up hill, that is the only time it feels really hard, but I make it through that minute! Running (actually it's more like jogging for me at this point) on a flat area is relatively easy for me. By the time the 5 minute cool down is over, I am still a little way off from my house, so I continue to walk for a few more minutes, making my total time about 35 minutes, and I have gone 2 miles in that time.
Before I started this, I was concerned I could not do it and that my knees would hurt and I just would not have the stamina. I really surprised myself and it feels awesome to know I can do this. Six months ago walking a mile was tiresome and hard on my ankles..not anymore! I spent all day on my feet yesterday too (helping a friend with putting together a fence, and taking our kids to the pumpkin patch) and yet I could still get up in the morning first thing today and do my 3rd day of this. Last year, taking the kids to the pumpkin patch wore me out from the stepping up and down over the vines and my legs hurt, but not this year. I was hopping from one hill to the other with ease and walked around there for 2 hours, and it was nothing. I was not tired, did not need to sit down, and felt like I could walk around even longer.
My life has changed so much in these last few months. I am doing things I thought I'd never do again. I am proud of myself, which has always been hard for me to say. I've always felt like a failure, because even though there were other things I accomplished, I could never seem to gain control of my weight, and it made me feel worthless. I know now I wasn't a failure or worthless, I just lacked knowledge, support, and hope, and now I have those. They all keep me going, even on days where I am tired and it feels too hard to go on.
I weighed myself this morning, and I was 269.6, which is 2 lbs down from my Tuesday weigh in for the Spooktacular Challenge (go Ghouls!!)! I can't wait for Tuesday for the next official weigh in.
This is it. There is no going back. Never again will I weigh over 300 lbs (or 270!). Never again will I mindlessly eat and neglect myself. Never again will I have to be scared to do things because I am too big. Life waits for no one, and I am done living it on the sidelines.
Get An Email Alert Each Time MOONBIRD Posts