Sunday, October 10, 2010
Yeah, I guess you can see where I am going with this...
On Wednesday evening, shortly before bed, I started to feel that familiar scratchiness you get in your throat when you are coming down with a cold. My son had been sick with strep and I was worried I'd caught that. All day Thursday I felt terrible and achy and did not work out. It was all I could do to keep my eyes open I felt so tired. I also ate way too much. I have no idea why, but when I have a cold I feel like I am starving to death! I ate soup, bread, yogurt, ice cream..way too much ice cream. I did the same thing Friday, but by that night was feeling better and not quite so hungry.
I exercised yesterday and today, and it was a little harder than usual, I guess because I have a cough and it's harder to breathe, but I really think all the healthy eating and working out and taking vitamins has helped, because usually when I get a cold I have no energy for days and days, but I am already getting over this. I am not ravenous today, so that is good.
Yesterday we went to an apple festival and picked tons of fuji apples, which are very tasty. I had a lot of fruit yesterday and overall ate well, except for the apple cider donuts I had at the festival. :)
I weighed myself this morning expecting to see a gain from 2 days of pigging out and I didn't gain any. I was 271.8 at my Tuesday weigh in for my team challenge (go Ghouls!!) and this morning I was 271.6, so I'll take that. I think I can lose a little more by Tuesday's weigh in if I am more mindful today. I normally don't work out on Sundays, but did Tae Bo today to make up for the days missed last week.
So, I fell off the wagon a bit, but I got back on. I realized that overall I didn't eat as badly as I would have in the past. Most of what I ate (other than the ice cream) was healthy, it was just too much.
I had a little slip up like this in July when I had a cold and I didn't gain weight and got right back into what I was doing, so that is what I am doing now. The old me would have continued on with being a piggy and that vicious cycle of losing and gaining weight would start over again. Not this time. :)
Friday, September 24, 2010
On Sunday, I will turn 30 years old. At the beginning of the year, I really started to think about my weight more and how it was affecting my life. I knew I needed to do something, but felt overwhelmed to even begin. I thought about how this year I'd be 30 years old, and over 300 lbs if I didn't do something. I have spent almost my whole life as an overweight person, and just thinking about that made me realize that I did not want to spend the rest of my life as one.
So, I started looking online and then remembered someone on a message board I used to post on mentioning a website called spark people, so I went to the website and joined. After just a few days I was even more motivated. I felt for the first time like I knew what I needed to do, and could do it. Each day I tracked my food and read inspirational stories from others. I found ways to exercise and was seeing results right away. This motivated me even more! I didn't feel like I was starving, like when I'd go on diets in the past. When I used to hear people talk about lifestyle change, I thought it was something I could never do. I started small and changed things little by little, and now I know I have changed my lifestyle.
After only a month I knew this time it was different. It felt different and every part of me knew I'd found the way to really do this. I followed all the steps that were recommended-I made a vision collage, posted on the boards, wrote blogs, cooked in batches, tracked my food each day, measured out portions, read the articles and blogs, and in doing all that felt such accomplishment. I'd never felt that in the past when I'd lose 20 lbs from basically starving myself and over exercising, and then giving up out of frustration and exhaustion. There is no giving up this time. This is going to be something I will always do and that is strive to live a healthier life. I am striving for balance.
Months ago, I could not stand and pull my foot behind to stretch my leg, and now I can easily. I don't get out of breath going up the stairs in our house. Walking a mile briskly earlier in the year wore me out, now I can walk 3. My muscles are becoming toned and I can even see my collarbones again. I went down 2 sizes in my pants. I faced my fear of going to the Dr. and I had a physical, which overall went well. I found out I was deficient in Vitamin D, so I started a supplement and it's really helped with my energy levels. One thing I did that I am proud of is that I broke my soda addiction. I used to have 3 or 4 a day, and now I rarely have any, maybe a soda a month. There are so many healthy foods in our house, and even my husband and kids are eating better and willing to try new things. I can ride a bike with my son, which I was worried I'd not ever be able to do. I can't tell you how happy that makes me.
If I can lose 50 lbs, I can lose it all. I know I can. There is nothing stopping me and I will keep going and each day remind myself of how far I have come. I want to lose about another 100 lbs or so. There is no exact number in my mind, I just want to be healthy and at a weight that is good for me.
I dream of being able to go kayaking and ride a horse and not be afraid my weight will hold me back. I want to go to the amusement park with my family and friends and be able to fit in the rides. I want to live a long and healthy life and enjoy every part of being alive.
For anyone who may be reading this who is just starting out, don't give up. You can do it! You have to be patient and believe in yourself and just take it one day at a time. If I can lose 50 lbs, I know you can, too.
Here's to my 30s being healthier and happier than my 20s.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
One of my goals for a long time has been to ride a bike. I hadn't for years (I think the last time I did was in 2002 when we went to the beach) because I was scared I was too heavy and would either break the bike or lose my balance. Another fear was that I just wouldn't have the endurance to even go very far. My weight has caused me to be scared to attempt certain things out of fear of failing or humiliation, but I am slowly getting over that fear.
A few weeks ago, I was in Wal Mart and saw a really cute pink Schwinn cruiser bike. It wasn't very expensive and I thought to myself how I'd love to get it so I could ride bikes with my son. He was afraid for the longest time of falling, but is finally getting the hang of it and started to ride just recently. My mom and husband were going to get it for me for my birthday, which is next weekend. My mom was to come over yesterday so we could go buy it. Well, money is tight lately and we just didn't have the extra money to spend, so I called her and left a message about it, and told her I'd just get it another time. I felt disappointed, but it was what it was, and I figured eventually I could get it. Yesterday my mom was going to come by anyway to see my kids, and she and her boyfriend had gone and got me the bike! I was so surprised and she told me that I never asked for anything, and that I deserved it. I was really happy. I took it for a test run and was really nervous, but I did great!
This morning it was nice and cool out and I didn't feel so great yesterday, so I didn't work out, so I decided to this morning (usually Sundays are an off day for me) by riding my bike. I went around my neighborhood and back to another neighborhood nearby and went about 2.5 miles. It took me 19 minutes. I know that isn't all that fast, but this bike isn't meant for high speed cycling, and neither am I at this point. :) There are also a lot of hills in our neighborhood and I barely made it up one of them. It was so much fun and felt so freeing to ride a bike again, just feeling the wind on my face. I came back to the house to see how far I'd gone and then my son wanted to ride. We went up and down some not so busy cul-de-sacs and that was probably another mile. Then I felt so great that I did 20 minutes of brazilian dance, and then he wanted to go back out, so we went back out for another 10 minutes or so and rode. He was so happy and kept saying over and over again that he loved riding bikes with me. I had a lot of fun too, and can't wait to do more of it.
So, I have met another goal. I now own a bike again, and it's a fun pink girly one just for me. :) It was just such an awesome feeling. My legs are a little sore since I haven't used those bike riding muscles in a while, but I know it will get better. Anytime my husband is home I'm going to ride bikes with my son. My 3 year old only has a trike and can't keep up, so I usually walk along with her when she rides hers or her scooter.
I have to lose 2 more lbs to meet my 50 lb goal! I'd wanted to lose 50 lbs by my 30th birthday, and that is one week from today. I think I can do it!!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
I decided it was time to get a few new things to wear. I wanted to hold off for several reasons, but today decided to stop by one of my favorite places to get clothes, Avenue.
Normally I hate shopping for clothes. I seem to find nothing that is flattering and I hate spending money on clothes I don't really love. We've also not had tons of extra cash lately because of school starting and killer electric bills all summer, so I was trying to hold off on getting anything new for as long as possible. My pants have literally been falling off lately, and some of my shirts hanging on my shoulders, so I needed some clothes.
Well, I picked up a few pairs of jeans, and the 26 size looked too big, so I got a 24 and it fit! I couldn't believe it. I haven't worn that size in years! I also tried on a lot of shirts, and the 22/24 size fit me! I was wearing 26/28 and even had some 30/32 in a couple styles. Those are way too big and hang off my shoulders now.
I ended up getting a pair of jeans, a pair of cotton casual type pants that have a band I can tie tighter, a black lightweight sweater for fall, a cute light purple top, and a couple other tops that were gray. I also got a pair of earrings, because they had a thing where if you spend 100, you get 25 off, so I got all that for $75. I figure these clothes should hold me over well for a while, especially since I can now fit into some stuff I'd been holding onto since I gained weight after having kids.
It felt so good to go shopping and see the difference all my hard work has made. I actually felt giddy trying things on, and that never happens for me! I did the happy dance in the dressing room. Hopefully by later this year I'll be wearing an 18/20 or smaller. :D
If there is an Avenue near you, go! They have some really cute stuff and the prices are not nearly as much as Lane Bryant. Their sizes go up to 32.
I do wish I could find a bra though. I tried on several of their bras and didn't like them. Bras are hard for me to find, but I need to get a couple new ones that fit well. I know I've gone down a band size and maybe even a cup size. I was a 46DDD, but I think I can fit into a 44DD now. I just hated the ones I tried on. It's so hard to find bras that don't accentuate back fat.
Sunday, September 05, 2010
I recently read something on a member's profile that said, "There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.”
Wow, is this true!!
I realize most people have busy lives. There is work, kids, family, and there are other commitments we have to fulfill. It can be stressful trying to fit it all in. However, there is something that we all need to realize: We all have the same number of hours and minutes in each day.
Now, I realize some days things just can't be helped and you can't fit certain things in. If you notice yourself always finding an excuse why you can't exercise, then it might be time to re-examine how you're spending your time. If we all stop and think about it, there are many times we could fit a few minutes of something in. For those that work long hours, perhaps try taking a walk, even if it's only 10 or 15 minutes, during your lunch break. Bring a resistance band and do some exercises at your desk. There is a video for that here on SP.
My point is that when you really want something, you will find a way to do it. For way too long I made excuses, and yes, I was tired and that made it harder to even try to change or know where to begin. That is why I've taken baby steps along the way, and at the same time expected a lot from myself, and for the first time in my life I have stuck with exercising for more than 4 months and lost over 40 lbs. My life can be very hectic. I have 2 young kids I stay home with and a husband that works on call for the railroad. My free time is limited. There are some days I am so tired, and still haven't worked out, so I do it after they are in bed. I don't always want to do it, but once I start and get into it, I am always glad I did it. I've always had them on a regular bedtime, so that helps me. I also work out while my youngest one naps (if she does) and then my son will watch a video or play a game. I try to take advantage of the days my husband is here and go outside and walk, so he can stay with the kids. We try a few times a week to all go out and walk together with the dog in our neighborhood.
Even if fitting in a half hour in one stretch is hard, try 10 or 15 minutes. Use some dumbbells while you watch tv. Sometimes I watch tv and make up my own workouts using moves from videos I've done. I do kicks and squats and march or run in place. You have to find those minutes wherever you can and take advantage of them. It's not all or nothing. Don't think just because you can't do something for an hour or even a half hour that it is pointless to walk for 10 minutes. It's not! Don't let that all or nothing attitude get in your way and keep you doing exactly that-- nothing.
If you are only able to walk to your mail box and back, do it. Do it everyday for a week, and then the next week try doing it twice. You will get stronger, and it will get easier. When I started this back in April, walking a mile briskly tired me out. I would be coming up the hill in my neighborhood thinking I could never do this and wonder how I would ever get better. But, I decided to just keep going and do what I could do and not give up. Now I can walk 3 miles briskly and it takes me just under an hour.
There are many ways you can eat healthy when you're on the run too. Plan some snacks to take with you so you're not tempted to eat junk. (some of my favs are almonds in a baggie with raisins, or a kashi bar) You CAN eat some healthy things at fast food places. We take our kids to McDonalds every couple weeks or while out for the day if I don't pack a lunch, and I get a salad and just use very little dressing. It's 300 calories. Or, I get a parfait and one of the grilled chicken wraps. So, no excuses. If you want to splurge on something, then just fit it into your calories. Several days of the week I have something sweet. I just fit it in. I will have some pudding, or frozen yogurt, or a couple cookies, or some chocolate and I do not feel bad about it, or like I am cheating. I made the mistake in the past of making everything "bad" off limits, and then I'd pig out on entire thing of ice cream as if it were the only ice cream left in the free world! Now, I do my best to eat things in moderation. Keeping treats in the house tempts me, so I'll get a cone at McDonald's, or some froyo at Sweet Frog.
I just know that if I can do it, anyone can. I know I still have a looong way to go, but I will get there in time. I used to dread exercising and avoided it like the plague. Partly it was because I was tired, and partly because I felt defeated when I did do it because I was so out of shape. Now I look forward to doing my workouts. It's time just for me, and it's helping my body and making me a healthier person. There are some days where I just feel worn out or there is a lot going on that I don't always want to do it. Most of the time I end up forcing myself and then I am glad I did. I always tell my kids, like when it's time to clean their rooms, that sometimes in life we have to make ourselves do not so fun things so we can play and it's never as hard as we make it out to be.
If you hate doing aerobics, go for a walk. If you hate walking outside, try a treadmill or exercise bike. If you can't afford a gym membership (like me) try some free workouts online or check out fitness videos from the library for free! If you find something you don't mind doing, it makes it a lot easier. I like to be outside and see nature, so I like walking outside as long as it's not extremely hot. I also like kickboxing and yoga.
I am not trying to be judgmental, I'm trying to be encouraging. For so long I've had no one to turn to and didn't have any idea where to begin, and now I have all the people here who are on this journey just like me. They get it. So many have lost 80 or even 100 lbs or more. They did not give up. When it's hard, you have to keep on going and know you're worth it.
I know that I don't look as svelte as I am feeling, but I know one day, as long as I keep working for it, I will be the size I am meant to be. I want to run a 5K and go kayaking and live life! I will do it. I am doing it, one day at a time. When I make a mistake, I own it and move on. Don't dwell on what you can't do, remember what you can do.
Believe in yourself. You are the one who can make this happen.
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