Saturday, October 13, 2012
My weight loss goal since I hit 199 back in the spring was to get to 177. That may seem like a random number, but it's not. It's the weight I would need to reach to no longer be considered obese by most BMI charts, so I picked it as my next goal to reach.
The other morning I weighed in and was thrilled to FINALLY be under 180! For weeks and weeks I was bouncing back and forth between the same couple of pounds. In the beginning of my weight loss journey (I really hate that word, because it's overused, but I don't know what else to call it) the weight came off easier and more consistently. Lately, I can go weeks and not lose a thing, and then I will suddenly lose several pounds all at once or over the course of a few days. During the times when there is no loss--even when I am running my super long runs for the half-marathon training--it can feel very discouraging, like I am working my butt off for nothing. Of course I know it's not for nothing, but when you aren't seeing a loss it is very frustrating. It can make you doubt yourself, especially on bad days.
Every time I'd see someone lately they'd tell me I looked much thinner. I would think they were just being nice, but maybe they see what I don't. For whatever reason my body has decided it will only let me lose weight every few weeks, but I'll lose a few pounds at once. While I'd rather be consistently losing a pound every week, I'll take whatever losses I can get! Even if I go months and don't lose anything, it's still better than where I used to be, which was consistently gaining weight. When you have to lose the weight of a whole adult person, you have to look at the big picture.
When I weighed in this morning I didn't expect to see a lower number than when I weighed a few days ago. Sometimes on the days after long runs I seem to have a gain, and it's probably from water being retained to heal my muscles, or so I've read. So, I was shocked when I saw this:
Sorry about my ugly feet! I really need to re-do my toes!
I went and grabbed the camera to get a picture to mark this milestone. Over the last few months I kept wondering if I'd ever get to 177 and just be regular old overweight instead of obese. In case you're wondering, there are various sites that can tell you your BMI and what range you're in. When I first started out--at 325 lbs--my BMI was 54.1. That put me in the super morbidly obese category. Not just obese, or morbidly obese...SUPER morbidly obese. At 177 lbs my BMI is 29.5. Over 30 is considered obese. I realize that BMI is not always accurate for everyone, and even though I am still overweight, I do have a lot of muscle I've built up over the last couple years and I am extremely fit aerobically, but it's nice to have a guideline of sorts.
At this point, I am still not sure what I want my ultimate goal weight to be. I've read various things that say the maximum I should weigh for my height is around 150. My next goal will be to reach 162.5 pounds. This will mean I have lost exactly half of my body weight! At this point I've lost about 46% of my body weight. Is that amazing, or what?
I have been obese since middle school, and now, I'm not. At 32 I am the healthiest, fittest and happiest I have ever been.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
I've never really been a big shopper when it comes to clothes and shoes. I like to look nice when I go out, but I am not into spending a lot of money. When I was much larger--wearing 3 and 4x shirts-- it was hard to even find clothes, so that made me hate clothes shopping even more.
Lately I've found myself really enjoying buying clothes and cute shoes. I can now look for something I like instead of just looking for what they have in my size. It's so bizarre to pick something out and feel pretty good about how I look. I'm still self-conscious sometimes, but now I have more confidence and find myself wanting to coordinate outfits and things. I've always been into buying fun cute earrings that I see at Target or wherever (and I still love this) and doing my makeup, because for a while I felt like my clothes never looked just how I wanted them to, and I figured I could always wear cute accessories to feel good about how I looked.
I love to shop at Old Navy because I get good deals, and I've also been able to find cute stuff at Kohl's, but I could never shop at those 2 places before I lost weight. I wear a large now, and a size 14 in pants. Recently I went to ROSS and found some levis in a 14 and couldn't believe they fit. It had been years since I could fit into Levi's, and even though I've been able to for a while, it's strange how only recently I've realized I can shop in almost any store.
A family member who is really thin gave me a bunch of clothes that someone gave her that were all too big. They are all different sizes and I tried them on, and I was surprised how they looked. There is a nautica skirt that is super cute, but a size 12. I can get it on and zipped, but it's extremely tight, so I have a goal to get in that skirt! A few of the things were too big, and that is so strange to get used to. There was a really pretty dress from Express in a medium, and I can get that on too, but it's too tight to look flattering. I am hoping by spring I can fit into it nicely. There were a few other things that fit and I am happy to get some clothes, because sometimes the cost and just taking the time to find new clothes so often can get overwhelming.
I've always loved animal print stuff, not head to toe, but in small amounts. About 10 years ago, my MIL gave me a leopard print purse, and any time I use it, I get compliments. I've noticed recently that it seems to be in style, and I saw a girl with some flats that were leopard and I really wanted some. I went to a store yesterday and got some, and I am excited to wear them! I don't have many shoes...a few pair of flip flops, a couple pairs of dressy shoes, some converse shoes and my running shoes. I have 3 pairs of flats now (one fun purple pair I got for free from my family member) and I'm excited about them. Even my feet shrank as I lost weight, because I remember trying on different shoes and not being able to squeeze my feet in many of them. I had to give away some of the shoes I had, because they flopped up and down on my feet, even with thick socks.
The flats I got were a brand called Coach and Four and online I noticed they go for $45-$50, but I got mine at Steinmart for $30. I plan on going back to that store, because they have Vera Bradley and a lot of other stuff I like for cheap!
It's a nice feeling to be able to get clothes I like and know that from month to month they won't be too tight because I've gained weight. In my whole life (until the last 2.5 years) that has never happened. If I weren't so cheap, I would consider finding a cute halloween costume to wear. I am not sure I have the confidence to pull that off yet though. ;)
Saturday, October 06, 2012
I feel like this sums up my life lately. Not only running for exercise, but running around and constantly being busy.
I thought once the kids started school that I'd have more free time, but while they are in school I do my workouts, run errands, do laundry and clean, so that way when they get home we can focus on homework, getting dinner ready and bed time at a decent hour. While I realize that people have it a lot harder than I do in regards to caring for their kids and I am fortunate to be a stay at home mom, it hasn't always been easy. My husband wasn't home much before the last year--when he's had a regular schedule--and after years of rarely getting a break, it takes a toll on you. My son has about an hour of homework each night, and he's only in 3rd grade and that time of day stresses me out. I just feel like I am always alone, and I don't get to get out and do much that's just for fun.
My husband has recently started a new schedule where he is working 6 days a week, from 5:30 in the morning until dinner time every night. He is going to be tired, and I won't get to see him as much, which sucks. This is training for a new job he starts in December, which will come with a pay raise, which we need, but it's going to be hard for the the next couple months, on all of us.
Lately I've found it hard to adjust to my new schedule. It's weird being at home without the kids here during the day. The first few weeks of school I had so many appointments. When you're a stay at home mom and have no one who can watch your kids for you, you often neglect going to Dr appointments and things, so I had scheduled dentist appointments and a bunch of other things like that. I had 2 dress fittings to get my bridesmaid dress altered and hemmed and I just feel like there is rarely time to just chill out.
My half marathon is next month and I basically already finished the training a couple weeks ago. I probably should have done the novice 2 training, because 1 was almost too easy. I started the training early thinking I'd be repeating weeks, when I didn't need to. The other day I did 11 miles, and it was a just a bad run. It was hot and humid, and I have been having insomnia really bad lately again (I think from stress) and I just had a hard time. I took several walk breaks and ended up running out of water and still had more than 2 miles left, and was wiped out by the end of it. I felt defeated, even though I know all runs are not going to be great, but I had an easy 3 miler scheduled for yesterday and got my best time ever, 29:25. I was so proud of myself, since it had been a goal of mine for a long time to run 3 miles in under 30 minutes.
We were in a wedding last weekend, which was a nice time and we had a lot of fun. My husband's little sister got married, and she was a beautiful bride. For weeks before the wedding I was extremely anxious. Money has been tight lately with all the extra expenses, and my husband's tux and my dress and shoes cost about $400. With the kids starting school and needing supplies, and me needing new running shoes and stuff, it's just been tight. Also, going up in front of a bunch of people terrifies me and I was so worried about it. I was shaking a little as a I stood up there and I hoped no one could tell how scared I was. Also, I was very self-conscious about wearing a strapless dress, and I felt like I'd look awful. It surprised me that almost every person who saw me said I looked great, or beautiful. I'd never been told that so many times before, and it made me feel good.
When I saw the pictures from the wedding, I was pretty happy with how I looked. I wish I would have lost more weight this year, but I felt pretty good in my dress once people seemed to think I looked good. I don't know why I always feel like the ugly duckling. It's something I wonder if I'll ever get over.
Jeff and I together at our table.
My daughter, Abby, and I...she was the flowergirl
Me with my kiddos...Aidan and Abby
Our family..in this photo are my husband's parents, the bride (my husband's sister) her new husband, and of course me, Jeff and our kids
Anyway, I just wanted to say I am sorry for my lack of time spent on here. It's just been really busy with everything that's been going on and I've been helping out at the kids' school and I feel overwhelmed with everything sometimes. My weight has been between 180-183 for the last month or so. I am hungry all the time from the extra running, so I end up eating extra snacks. I am hoping once the vigorous training is over, things will be back to normal. I am surprised my weight isn't up a lot more from all the birthdays, dinners, wedding food, etc I've eaten the last month.
I hope you're all doing well! I definitely need to blog more. It makes me feel so much better.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Yesterday I had an 8 mile run scheduled for my half marathon training. It would be my longest run so far in the training, and ever. Before I run a long distance, I always feel a little nervous the night before. You would think by now I would be used to it, but I guess I always have a little uncertainty about it. I worry I'll be miles from the house and not feel well or something. Once I started running more than a couple miles, I started always bringing my phone with me just because you never know what could happen, but I still get nervous. There is a part of me that is worried running 13 miles is going to be too much for me. Although I have followed the program and haven't tried to rush things, I still get a little concerned about injuries. Other than my hip being sore for a few days after the 10k in March, I haven't had any issues.
I was surprised yesterday, because I didn't sleep well the night before and was tired when I got up in the morning, so I expected the run to be miserable, but it turned out to be great! For the first few miles I didn't really even feel tired and wasn't that out of breath, like I could have gone on forever. On my long runs, like over 4 miles, I don't try to go fast, I just try to keep a steady pace, one where I don't feel I need to stop and walk. At about 4 miles in I stepped in a huge pile of mud! My foot sank all the way in and my shoe was covered. I still didn't stop. I ran along a busy road (there is a sidewalk I used) and I saw a couple people get pulled over for speeding. That was entertaining. I got honked at a couple times, and I never know if people are being sarcastic or what. It's funny because back when I was 300 pounds and went out walking, people would honk at me, and I know some of them were making fun of me. It used to embarrass me and I would dwell on it, and now I don't give a crap. I think most people who get into running probably feel this way. I get out there and am so focused on what I am doing that I couldn't care less what anyone thinks of me. I mean, are THEY running?
At mile 6 I started to feel pretty tired. On the way back I was going uphill. It wasn't steep, just a long gradual incline, but you feel it. I was at about mile 7 once I got back to my neighborhood, and something about getting back there just makes me want to stop, but I still had a mile to go, so I kept going and went down a few streets and then back to my house. I'd left water out on my front steps in case I felt like I needed to go back by and take a break, but it wasn't hot, and I didn't feel like I needed to stop. I really need to get one of those hydration belts and start experimenting with Gu and stuff like that now that I am going longer distances. I'd planned to do that once the kids are in school next week. My shoes are also really worn out and I have got to get a new pair. My feet have been sore when I run lately, and that usually never happens.
I finished the 8 mile run in 1:33:12, a lot better than I expected. It always feels so good when I run that far, and I can just think about how far I've come and what my body is capable of. I was kind of sore and stiff all day yesterday, but in a good way. This morning I thought I'd wake up and be so sore, but really I wasn't. I stretched a lot throughout the day and I think it helped. I was so hungry yesterday though! On the long run days I feel like I can't eat enough, which is bad. I don't want to gain weight, so I have to be careful. I can totally see how people gain weight doing marathon training. I will have to plan my meals better for the days I run that far so I have a lot of protein.
So, I have completed 8 weeks of the half training ( I am doing the novice schedule of the Hal Higdon training) I have repeated some runs when I felt I needed to, but have completed all the runs he's scheduled. Modifying it in this way has helped me, I think, and he says it's fine to do that. I started the training earlier than I needed to, because following a schedule really helps me, and I figured that way if something came up I wouldn't get behind. I will be done in 4 weeks, which is over a month before the race in November, so I think I will repeat weeks and maybe even do a run longer than 10 miles, which is the longest run the schedule has. We'll see how things go! Part of me likes doing training, but then another part of me wants to be able to just run when I want to. :) In the winter I'll probably still try to do 3 days week, one being a longer run, and focus on trying to run faster on the short ones. I plan to do the 10k again next spring, and hopefully improve my time. :)
Today is a rest day, and tomorrow I will do 5 miles and probably some strength training. This week is a busy week with the kids both having meet and greets and then school starting next week. I have to make sure all their supplies are together. I washed and sorted all their clothes yesterday and made them try on stuff from last year. A lot of stuff still fit that was a little big on them last year, so that was good. Their grandmother bought them some clothes too, so I washed it and hung it all up so it's ready. I cleaned their backpacks at the beginning of summer and made sure to get tissues and things, so other than getting Abby a new pair of sneakers, I think we're good for the start of the school year. I can't believe she's going to kindergarten! It's so weird how fast time goes by. My dad constantly told me that I grew up in the blink of an eye, and that is something you just don't really understand until you have your own children.
Friday, August 10, 2012
I decided to start a page where people could find motivation to live a healthy lifestyle. Please like it if you're interested. :) I sometimes feel like I am bombarding my real page with fitness stuff, so now I have a place to do it. I'll post my workouts, meal ideas, quotes, etc. The more the merrier, so hop on over.
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