Saturday, June 25, 2011
For the longest time when I was doing couch to 5k, I didn't really feel like I was a runner. I suppose it's because when you're a newbie at something you don't always feel like you're at your best and you're learning, so you feel a little unsure of yourself and your abilities. I was (and am) not fast, so I guess I figured I wasn't a real runner because I couldn't do a mile in 10 minutes or less.
Well, I DO feel like a runner now, albeit a slowish runner.
For one thing, I want to run! It's the form of exercise I most want to do, which is something I would never have thought I'd say. Ever! Even though it's physically hard and sometimes when I'm in the middle of it I want to stop, I always feel exhilarated when I'm done. It clears my head and I feel stronger each time I do it. I get grouchy if it's storming or my husband isn't home and I can't run. My body wants it.
People are amazed and look at me like they don't believe it when I tell them I can run more than 3 miles without stopping. I know they're probably thinking, "How can a fat person run?" I know a lot of people assume if you're large that you're completely out of shape. People in general, I think, automatically judge overweight people. Just by going to the gym I see that many people who look fit, really are not. I see girls who probably weigh 100 lbs less than me looking like they are going to die walking on the treadmill at what for me, is a slow speed, slower than my warm up walk that I do.
So, even though I am not finishing a 5k in 30 minutes or less, I am a runner. I go out and consistently run, and am always improving. I am more in shape at 30 than I have ever been in my whole life. I am not exercising just to burn calories and lose weight; I really want to be in shape and fit enough to do anything I want to do.
Completing couch to 5k gave me such a feeling of accomplishment. There were days I thought, "There is no way I can do this, it will take me forever to finish. I'm too fat to do this. What will people think seeing me jiggling all over the place? I will ruin my knees and ankles being this fat." I had hoped I'd be able to run 3 miles straight by the fall so I could run a whole 5k, but by May (starting in March) I could already do it! A friend (hi Suzi, if you're reading) told me that a lot of running is mental, and I believe that. If you tell yourself you can't do it, you won't. You have to be willing to keep trying even when you have a bad running day. You have to remember that it takes a while to build up endurance and speed. Also, I am not sure why it's like this now, but I don't give a hoot what people think. I go to the gym and run on the treadmill and I figure if someone thinks I look gross, that is their problem, they can look away. I am doing this for ME, no one else. A few weeks ago 2 guys at the gym were making fun of me. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I knew it was about me and I knew it wasn't good. One of them got on the leg push machine and I noticed he was doing 70 lbs. I can do 150 pounds on that, so I just thought that it's true we criticize other people when we are insecure about ourselves. He probably knew he was wimpy skinny dude (and I would not normally think mean things like that about someone, but I did because he was making fun of me and it made me mad) and it made him feel better to make fun of the fat chick. I admit for a second I thought about saying, "You know, I can do more than twice that weight on the machine, so why do you think you can laugh at me?" Of course I didn't, but admit it made me feel good. :)
My point to all this rambling, is that even though I may not look like what you would think a fit person looks like, and I may not be able to do a marathon, I feel like an athlete! I can give most people a run for their money, and I am only getting better.
If you want to run, you can! It's not going to be easy and you have to be disciplined, but I know that if it's important to you, you will make it happen. I have done all this just by following couch to 5k and their recommendations. I have had no injuries, even though I was over 250 when I started running. I just got some good shoes and I make sure to stretch. I eat healthy and take vitamins, and I feel vibrant and alive in a way I haven't ever felt before. A lot of running is wanting to do it. They say you should find a type of exercise you enjoy so you'll stick with it. If you absolutely hate running, that is ok. You may like biking or walking or swimming better, and that is fine. If you want to be a runner though, the power is in your hands and you can make it happen.
So get your shoes on and go for a run and see what you're made of. I bet you'll surprise yourself!
My goal is to run a 10k by next spring. I know I can do it.
*** Just adding that I am not an expert by any means, but I have learned a lot in these last few months. I have people asking me for advice all the time and I just tell them what worked for me. I felt like I was ready to run, so I did. I got good shoes and I didn't have any health problems. So, your situation may be different. Just listen to your body and you'll learn when you should push yourself harder and when you need to take it easier.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I am just a few pounds away from the 100 pounds lost goal! I can't believe it. I was down to 228 a couple weeks ago, but have not lost since. I've gone up and down (1 lb more one day, a few days later a pound less, etc) and while I've still worked out a lot, my tracking wasn't as, well, on track, as it normally is. I also had the flu which messed me up, so it's hard to get back to your normal routine after being sick. We've been busy and I wasn't as careful about tracking all the time, so I am sure that is why. Still, you'd think with the tons of working out I'd have lost, but I can only keep working toward it, however frustrating that stupid scale is sometimes.
I was hoping to reach 100 pounds lost by the end of this month. It could still happen if I work really hard this next week and am very careful with calories. I sometimes find it hard to track certain things, so I think I am doing ok, but sometimes I guess I am not. So, it's ok if I am not there in a week, by the next week I should be.
Lately I look at pictures of myself and I am amazed at how I look. I think, "Wow, I really do look like a different person." Then I look at myself in the mirror and I think I still look huge. I don't know if it's a mental thing or what, but I wonder when I'll quit feeling so huge and feel more like a normal person. When I was bigger, I didn't think I was THAT big, until I saw a picture, a full length one that shocked me, and made me realize that I was a lot bigger than I felt. It makes me wonder if other people go through this too. The proof I'm smaller is clothing. I try things on and they are noticeably looser and my shirts are too big, and the bras I just got last month are already getting too big! So, I KNOW I am smaller, but deep in my subconscious it's like I still fear not fitting in a booth or not physically being able to do something, and then I realize I can. That is a wonderful feeling to know I am not over the weight limits on things and can fit into rides at the theme parks..not all of them yet, but I know I will eventually.
Soon I WILL be sharing that I've lost 100 pounds. It will be a pivotal moment in my life.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
A while back I noticed they were opening a Gold's Gym near us in the shopping center where I sometimes go grocery shopping. For a while I'd been thinking about joining a gym, but there is only one that is near us, and its expensive. A couple of weeks ago I got a flier in the mail from Gold's saying that if you joined before the 16th, the monthly fee was only $10 and it was $1 to sign up, plus a fee of $30 per year. That is something that is totally affordable for us, so I really wanted to go by and check it out, but there wasn't a good time the last couple weeks with my husband working so much.
This morning my hubby was home and said it looked like they shouldn't have to call him out, so I got my exercise clothes on and left. At first when I walked in I felt a little awkward, but after talking to the guy and filling out the information on the computer, I felt really excited. He said I could go over and talk to the one of the trainers and even set up appointments to discuss training options, and I figure at some point I might do that, but I really wanted to try the elliptical. So, I hopped on and at first was confused because of all the options and buttons, but a nice lady next to me helped me figure it out. I ended up doing it for 35 mins and it said I burned almost 400 calories! It had me enter my age and weight and it had a sensor on the handlebar, so I am hoping it was accurate. After that I felt really pumped up and decided to try a mile or so on the treadmill, and I wasn't sure what speed to do, so I started off at 3.5, which was slow for me and then I was running at 5.0 which was challenging. I kept bumping something with my hand and it cut off and then I would have to start over, but I ended up running and then walking some too, and did about a half hour altogether.
They have a huge line of tvs hanging there and I noticed on the machines they have little portals where you can apparently bring headphones and listen to what's on the different tvs or you can listen to FM radio. I thought that was so cool! Also, I liked that it seemed like a large mix of people were there. It wasn't all super fit people. I saw a lot of middle aged people and seniors and they were all shapes and sizes.
I'm excited to go back and try the different machines. Working as many muscles as possible and trying new things are goals of mine now. Being fit has become something that is very important to me, and this has been a pivotal year in my life.
After a satisfying morning at the gym, we went to a birthday party for my husband's cousin's son and everyone there was saying how good I looked. It made me feel really honored for people to say I inspired them to lose weight. We discussed sparkpeople and what I have been doing. One person there said I have a glow about me and I just looked happy and healthy, and I feel like I do. My outlook on life has changed a lot over the last year, and I am happier because I feel good and I am accomplishing so many things. To hear other people tell me I look good and they are amazed by what I've done, well, it just makes me feel indescribably awesome!
I am thankful every single day for sparkpeople and all the wonderful people I've met here who have been so supportive. I couldn't have done this without all of you!
Friday, May 06, 2011
Both of my kids combined weigh 89 pounds. My 7 year old weighs 53, my 4 year old 36. As of today, I have lost 90 pounds! Woo hoo! That is one pound more than both of them weigh put together. When they both jump on me and hug me, they feel SO heavy, and I was carrying that weight around on me every day a little over a year ago. It's hard to even fathom!
Back when I first joined SP, I would read the success stories of others and want that so much for myself and felt like it was a million years away. Even though I am not done yet, I do feel like a success! I still sometimes can't believe all I've accomplished in this last year. I feel better, I am strong and can do things I've never physically been able to do, I'm happier, hopeful and proud of myself. Some days I even think I am looking pretty good!
I still want to lose about another 85-90 lbs, although I don't have an exact goal weight in mind. My main objective is to be at a weight that is healthy for me and one where I will feel my absolute best. So, as I get closer, I will determine what that should be. I've learned to set small goals along the way, so my first goal was to get under 300, the next was to get under 250 since I weighed about that when I got married, and my next one will be Onederland. I haven't weighed under 200 lbs since high school, probably junior year, so I am excited to get there again, and hope to be by the end of this year.
If you've still got a lot to lose, I know it can seem impossible. You feel like it will never happen. Well, I am telling you it will! Just be honest with yourself and do what you know you need to do. Once you accept that these changes are going to take time, it gets easier and more manageable. So much of this is mental, and if you believe (believing and hoping are not the same thing..believing is knowing it will happen and doing what you need to do, hoping is just wishing for it with no action) you can do it and are willing to work for it, it will happen. See yourself where you want to be. When you're having a bad day, remember what is important.
Thanks to all my sparkfriends who have been there right along with me. You all know what a hard thing this is to do, and I would not have made it this far without all of you. I really mean that!
Monday, May 02, 2011
I have lost enough weight to make my BMI 39, so I am no longer morbidly obese! I am still obese, but that's ok, because I am a work in progress. When I started out more than a year ago, I was super morbidly obese, and what a shock that was. I realized that if I didn't get serious about changing, my weight was going to end my life prematurely.
Each time I accomplish something, whether it's running a mile, or losing another pound, I am going to be proud of that. I have changed my life, and am still changing and learning, and so I am celebrating being obese today. :D Hopefully in a few months I'll be overweight. ;)
Get An Email Alert Each Time MOONBIRD Posts