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I feel like a runner!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

For the longest time when I was doing couch to 5k, I didn't really feel like I was a runner. I suppose it's because when you're a newbie at something you don't always feel like you're at your best and you're learning, so you feel a little unsure of yourself and your abilities. I was (and am) not fast, so I guess I figured I wasn't a real runner because I couldn't do a mile in 10 minutes or less.

Well, I DO feel like a runner now, albeit a slowish runner.

For one thing, I want to run! It's the form of exercise I most want to do, which is something I would never have thought I'd say. Ever! Even though it's physically hard and sometimes when I'm in the middle of it I want to stop, I always feel exhilarated when I'm done. It clears my head and I feel stronger each time I do it. I get grouchy if it's storming or my husband isn't home and I can't run. My body wants it.

People are amazed and look at me like they don't believe it when I tell them I can run more than 3 miles without stopping. I know they're probably thinking, "How can a fat person run?" I know a lot of people assume if you're large that you're completely out of shape. People in general, I think, automatically judge overweight people. Just by going to the gym I see that many people who look fit, really are not. I see girls who probably weigh 100 lbs less than me looking like they are going to die walking on the treadmill at what for me, is a slow speed, slower than my warm up walk that I do.

So, even though I am not finishing a 5k in 30 minutes or less, I am a runner. I go out and consistently run, and am always improving. I am more in shape at 30 than I have ever been in my whole life. I am not exercising just to burn calories and lose weight; I really want to be in shape and fit enough to do anything I want to do.

Completing couch to 5k gave me such a feeling of accomplishment. There were days I thought, "There is no way I can do this, it will take me forever to finish. I'm too fat to do this. What will people think seeing me jiggling all over the place? I will ruin my knees and ankles being this fat." I had hoped I'd be able to run 3 miles straight by the fall so I could run a whole 5k, but by May (starting in March) I could already do it! A friend (hi Suzi, if you're reading) told me that a lot of running is mental, and I believe that. If you tell yourself you can't do it, you won't. You have to be willing to keep trying even when you have a bad running day. You have to remember that it takes a while to build up endurance and speed. Also, I am not sure why it's like this now, but I don't give a hoot what people think. I go to the gym and run on the treadmill and I figure if someone thinks I look gross, that is their problem, they can look away. I am doing this for ME, no one else. A few weeks ago 2 guys at the gym were making fun of me. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I knew it was about me and I knew it wasn't good. One of them got on the leg push machine and I noticed he was doing 70 lbs. I can do 150 pounds on that, so I just thought that it's true we criticize other people when we are insecure about ourselves. He probably knew he was wimpy skinny dude (and I would not normally think mean things like that about someone, but I did because he was making fun of me and it made me mad) and it made him feel better to make fun of the fat chick. I admit for a second I thought about saying, "You know, I can do more than twice that weight on the machine, so why do you think you can laugh at me?" Of course I didn't, but admit it made me feel good. :)

My point to all this rambling, is that even though I may not look like what you would think a fit person looks like, and I may not be able to do a marathon, I feel like an athlete! I can give most people a run for their money, and I am only getting better.

If you want to run, you can! It's not going to be easy and you have to be disciplined, but I know that if it's important to you, you will make it happen. I have done all this just by following couch to 5k and their recommendations. I have had no injuries, even though I was over 250 when I started running. I just got some good shoes and I make sure to stretch. I eat healthy and take vitamins, and I feel vibrant and alive in a way I haven't ever felt before. A lot of running is wanting to do it. They say you should find a type of exercise you enjoy so you'll stick with it. If you absolutely hate running, that is ok. You may like biking or walking or swimming better, and that is fine. If you want to be a runner though, the power is in your hands and you can make it happen.

So get your shoes on and go for a run and see what you're made of. I bet you'll surprise yourself!

My goal is to run a 10k by next spring. I know I can do it.

*** Just adding that I am not an expert by any means, but I have learned a lot in these last few months. I have people asking me for advice all the time and I just tell them what worked for me. I felt like I was ready to run, so I did. I got good shoes and I didn't have any health problems. So, your situation may be different. Just listen to your body and you'll learn when you should push yourself harder and when you need to take it easier.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNSET24 6/26/2011 12:15AM

    you GO girl, yahooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 6/25/2011 7:35PM

    YOU are an inspiration. I want to run a 5K, and right now I'm just walking them. I couldn't get into the groove of the C25K, I tried it twice and it just wasn't doing it for me. Now, I just listen to my iPod, and when the song changes, I run. I don't really like running, I'm still big and my knee hurt sometimes, but I WANT to run. In my head, running = healthy. I will run a 5K, it's just a matter of time. You are so great, thanks for inspiring me ; )

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MSPRING1987 6/25/2011 7:16PM

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE this blog. I started running recently. I can only run 1 mile and I want to work up to 3 miles to run my next 5k! I know I can do it if I push. That is just terrible how people can make fun of others. You are in the gym for peets sake. You are there trying to make yourself better...UGH the nerve of some people. That is just so great that you feel so wonderful about yourself and love to run! I like running. I like how it makes me feel. I hope I love it one day. You are such an inspiration to me. You have lost so much weight and gained so much insight in the past year. Thank you for the motivational words. I hope you get to that 10k! Can't wait to read about it!

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WYNSDAEOCTOBER 6/25/2011 1:33PM

    I know you'll be able to run a 10K by next spring for sure. Again, you are my inspiration and I thank you for it and your advice!

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SUNRAY123 6/25/2011 1:16PM

  Hi Moonbird you are an inspirationů I am trying to run a 5k at end of next month. doing
C25K as well. These days I finish hardly a mile and nowhere close to 10 MINů.
I will continue and remember that its all in mindů. Hope to get better everyday

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sunray

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MYSPARKLER 6/25/2011 1:04PM

    Congratulations on your accomplishments! You ARE a runner :)
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Best wishes in reaching your future goals!

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Almost there...

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I am just a few pounds away from the 100 pounds lost goal! I can't believe it. I was down to 228 a couple weeks ago, but have not lost since. I've gone up and down (1 lb more one day, a few days later a pound less, etc) and while I've still worked out a lot, my tracking wasn't as, well, on track, as it normally is. I also had the flu which messed me up, so it's hard to get back to your normal routine after being sick. We've been busy and I wasn't as careful about tracking all the time, so I am sure that is why. Still, you'd think with the tons of working out I'd have lost, but I can only keep working toward it, however frustrating that stupid scale is sometimes.

I was hoping to reach 100 pounds lost by the end of this month. It could still happen if I work really hard this next week and am very careful with calories. I sometimes find it hard to track certain things, so I think I am doing ok, but sometimes I guess I am not. So, it's ok if I am not there in a week, by the next week I should be.

Lately I look at pictures of myself and I am amazed at how I look. I think, "Wow, I really do look like a different person." Then I look at myself in the mirror and I think I still look huge. I don't know if it's a mental thing or what, but I wonder when I'll quit feeling so huge and feel more like a normal person. When I was bigger, I didn't think I was THAT big, until I saw a picture, a full length one that shocked me, and made me realize that I was a lot bigger than I felt. It makes me wonder if other people go through this too. The proof I'm smaller is clothing. I try things on and they are noticeably looser and my shirts are too big, and the bras I just got last month are already getting too big! So, I KNOW I am smaller, but deep in my subconscious it's like I still fear not fitting in a booth or not physically being able to do something, and then I realize I can. That is a wonderful feeling to know I am not over the weight limits on things and can fit into rides at the theme parks..not all of them yet, but I know I will eventually.

Soon I WILL be sharing that I've lost 100 pounds. It will be a pivotal moment in my life.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARVEEME 6/24/2011 9:32PM

    And we shall CELEBRATE together!
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MARLARELLA 6/23/2011 1:42PM

    When I was heavier, I never looked at myself and when I saw pictures of myself I was shocked at how big I looked. Now that I look at myself often I guess I am more aware of my size, and it is still much larger than I will eventually be, but I think that is the difference. When you were much larger you never looked at yourself so you were never really aware of how your body fit in space. Now you are so much smaller but are looking at yourself with a more critical eye.

I can't wait for the 100 lbs lost post!!

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NMMAMA2011 6/22/2011 11:33PM

    Wow! how amazing to be so close to your goal! You will get there and these last few lbs will be history! I go through the same thing sometimes, having to remind myself that I CAN do things I could never try before. I still dont like pictures of myself. All the best to you in winning the battle over those next few lbs!

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JAMIELGOOCH 6/22/2011 10:56PM

    Congrats! I know how difficult it is looking at the scale. I've been down for a few weeks due to this dumb wisdom teeth thing. I am hoping to get back to routine soon so I can do better. Congrats again on the almost 100 lbs lost. That is a huge accomplishment.

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MAWDOT35 6/22/2011 10:47PM

    I'm happy and excited for you, Elizabeth!! I share some of your feelings. I didn't think I was all that big, but certain family members kept encouraging me to lose weight. I just needed to lose about 36 pounds. Now that I'm half way there, I still feel fat although my old clothes are waaaay loose. I was going to post a 'half way there' picture, but it looked huge and I couldn't stand to post it. So, you see, others feel as you do. Maybe when we are at goal weight for a while, we will feel differently. Keep on Sparking, you are doing great!!!
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Dorothy

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MSPRING1987 6/22/2011 10:46PM

    That is so awesome that you have almost lost 100 lbs! It will slide off in no time! Congrats on keeping up that exercise! Can't wait to hear that you have made it to your first goal! You are so inspirational to us newbies! Thanks for such an awesome blog! Keep up the good work!

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MRS_ROSS 6/22/2011 10:07PM

    I am so excited for you! 100 pounds!!!! You have accomplished so much and I know you will reach your goal soon! Sometimes when I look in the mirror I can't see my progress but then I log into Spark and get encouraged by all of you :)

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I joined a gym today!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

A while back I noticed they were opening a Gold's Gym near us in the shopping center where I sometimes go grocery shopping. For a while I'd been thinking about joining a gym, but there is only one that is near us, and its expensive. A couple of weeks ago I got a flier in the mail from Gold's saying that if you joined before the 16th, the monthly fee was only $10 and it was $1 to sign up, plus a fee of $30 per year. That is something that is totally affordable for us, so I really wanted to go by and check it out, but there wasn't a good time the last couple weeks with my husband working so much.

This morning my hubby was home and said it looked like they shouldn't have to call him out, so I got my exercise clothes on and left. At first when I walked in I felt a little awkward, but after talking to the guy and filling out the information on the computer, I felt really excited. He said I could go over and talk to the one of the trainers and even set up appointments to discuss training options, and I figure at some point I might do that, but I really wanted to try the elliptical. So, I hopped on and at first was confused because of all the options and buttons, but a nice lady next to me helped me figure it out. I ended up doing it for 35 mins and it said I burned almost 400 calories! It had me enter my age and weight and it had a sensor on the handlebar, so I am hoping it was accurate. After that I felt really pumped up and decided to try a mile or so on the treadmill, and I wasn't sure what speed to do, so I started off at 3.5, which was slow for me and then I was running at 5.0 which was challenging. I kept bumping something with my hand and it cut off and then I would have to start over, but I ended up running and then walking some too, and did about a half hour altogether.

They have a huge line of tvs hanging there and I noticed on the machines they have little portals where you can apparently bring headphones and listen to what's on the different tvs or you can listen to FM radio. I thought that was so cool! Also, I liked that it seemed like a large mix of people were there. It wasn't all super fit people. I saw a lot of middle aged people and seniors and they were all shapes and sizes.

I'm excited to go back and try the different machines. Working as many muscles as possible and trying new things are goals of mine now. Being fit has become something that is very important to me, and this has been a pivotal year in my life.

After a satisfying morning at the gym, we went to a birthday party for my husband's cousin's son and everyone there was saying how good I looked. It made me feel really honored for people to say I inspired them to lose weight. We discussed sparkpeople and what I have been doing. One person there said I have a glow about me and I just looked happy and healthy, and I feel like I do. My outlook on life has changed a lot over the last year, and I am happier because I feel good and I am accomplishing so many things. To hear other people tell me I look good and they are amazed by what I've done, well, it just makes me feel indescribably awesome!

I am thankful every single day for sparkpeople and all the wonderful people I've met here who have been so supportive. I couldn't have done this without all of you!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARVEEME 5/19/2011 7:38AM

    Excellent blog and very informative. Great ideas, and admissions.

The Spark community is a great one, full of caring and loving folks, who equally depend on YOU too, so thank you for your contributions too. We couldn't do it with out you too.....in this little village of ours.

Enjoy your newfound lifestyle, and all of its amenities, and polish that glow.
You deserve this joy!

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SPARK ON!

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JBUF77 5/18/2011 6:09AM

  Awsome for you! I can join, but have to pay unless I go 3x week for 30min (through my work), so not joining until winter, love to be outside too much! If you got such great results w/o a gym, u r in for a treat!!! U will b beach babe in no time!
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SPEARSIE2005 5/17/2011 5:11PM

    That is awesome. Such a good price for a gym! Gym will be a lot of fun. Keep up the great work. emoticon

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BECKYB73 5/16/2011 9:48PM

    YAY! I'm so glad you took the plunge and are on your way to being a gym rat!!!

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BAYBELIEVER 5/16/2011 7:23PM

    This is awesome. Not only joining the gym, but your whole attitude and having that glow about you! I am working toward it, so look forward to more interactions with you! Have a great week.

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DARKTHOR 5/16/2011 6:45PM

    That is really great!!! And, it sounds like a great bargain. I need to find a bargain like that too.

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AMES_MARIE 5/16/2011 1:39PM

    That's awesome!!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 5/15/2011 7:16PM

    That's so great! I was nervous to join the gym, but since I have, I LOVE IT! So many options, it's great. It's so awesome when people are noticing, not only how much weight you've lost, but how much happier you are. To me that's was the kicker. I didn't realize how unhappy I was until others noticed how much happier I've become. Congrats on all of your success!
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PELESJEWEL 5/15/2011 6:51PM

    emoticon AWESOME!!! I love Golds!! They usually attract good personal trainers too, so check them all out before you go with one. To get the best results, you need a trainer that you really "click" with, one that knows what you want and is there to get you on track, but in a fun caring way! Yay you!

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KELLYC_14FAN 5/15/2011 6:49PM

    That is awesome!! I would love to join a gym but the only one in my area is super expensive!!

Way to go!!!

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ANEWLEAF81 5/15/2011 4:17PM

  Great blog!!! Way to go! :)

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WINTERRAIN 5/15/2011 12:43PM

    Oh how exciting! I had the same thing when I joined the YMCA, I thought about rejoining then seriously I got an email the next day saying they would waive my rejoining fee (sweet!). I think it's been the best decision I've made for me in a long time.

And a suggestion (I love the elliptical btw) enter your time in the fitness tracker here and your calorie burn may be even more, that pushes me even more to the Y because I burn a lot more then the machine says.

I hope your gym experience is wonderful and it helps you reach your goals even faster!

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CLAREBEARSTARE 5/15/2011 12:21PM

    That was a really awesome price for the gym! Sounds like they have a lot of great stuff too! Sounds like you had a really great day!! :)

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LISAWILLBEFIT 5/15/2011 9:12AM

    That is wonderful.I cant use the eliptical it hurts my knees butt i love the treadmill and if they have one try the rower and the ski machine.Rowing is suosed to be the best thing you can do as it works everything all at once.

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MAWDOT35 5/15/2011 8:09AM

    Elizabeth, this is a wonderful, very well written blog post!! I'm so very happy for you and I think the gym will just add to your enjoyment while you lose more weight.
I'm proud of you and glad you made the decision to join a gym!
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Dorothy

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ZUMBAMAMA3 5/15/2011 6:58AM

    wow, im sooo proud of you! the gym is great if you can get to one. and you burn mega calories. good luck emoticon

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MICHELLESMILES_ 5/15/2011 6:44AM

    You are awesome! So proud to have you as a friend!

I would love to join a gym but money is tight. Maybe someday hopefully!

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AMM12076 5/14/2011 11:58PM

    I think that's GREAT! Keep up the good work. Between the gym and your spark friends, you are bound for success! emoticon

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MARVEEME 5/14/2011 11:43PM

    FAN-TAS-TIQUE!

May ALL your dreams come true! You're on FIRE, girlfriend! Keep up the good work!

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MN4VOLS 5/14/2011 11:21PM

    That is awesome! What a great day you had! emoticon

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KOREENREGIS 5/14/2011 11:06PM

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I Lost Both My Children. :)

Friday, May 06, 2011

Both of my kids combined weigh 89 pounds. My 7 year old weighs 53, my 4 year old 36. As of today, I have lost 90 pounds! Woo hoo! That is one pound more than both of them weigh put together. When they both jump on me and hug me, they feel SO heavy, and I was carrying that weight around on me every day a little over a year ago. It's hard to even fathom!

Back when I first joined SP, I would read the success stories of others and want that so much for myself and felt like it was a million years away. Even though I am not done yet, I do feel like a success! I still sometimes can't believe all I've accomplished in this last year. I feel better, I am strong and can do things I've never physically been able to do, I'm happier, hopeful and proud of myself. Some days I even think I am looking pretty good!

I still want to lose about another 85-90 lbs, although I don't have an exact goal weight in mind. My main objective is to be at a weight that is healthy for me and one where I will feel my absolute best. So, as I get closer, I will determine what that should be. I've learned to set small goals along the way, so my first goal was to get under 300, the next was to get under 250 since I weighed about that when I got married, and my next one will be Onederland. I haven't weighed under 200 lbs since high school, probably junior year, so I am excited to get there again, and hope to be by the end of this year.

If you've still got a lot to lose, I know it can seem impossible. You feel like it will never happen. Well, I am telling you it will! Just be honest with yourself and do what you know you need to do. Once you accept that these changes are going to take time, it gets easier and more manageable. So much of this is mental, and if you believe (believing and hoping are not the same thing..believing is knowing it will happen and doing what you need to do, hoping is just wishing for it with no action) you can do it and are willing to work for it, it will happen. See yourself where you want to be. When you're having a bad day, remember what is important.

Thanks to all my sparkfriends who have been there right along with me. You all know what a hard thing this is to do, and I would not have made it this far without all of you. I really mean that!



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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAGIK0731 5/10/2011 3:11PM

    emoticon emoticon

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KELLYC_14FAN 5/9/2011 10:11PM

    YAY!! That is awesome!! Congrats on losing 90 pounds!!

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BBORDEN86 5/9/2011 8:29PM

    Yay!!! That is so awesome!! This is very uplifting, I had planned to go on a walk tonight with a friend, and after reading this blog, it just made me want to walk so MUCH harder to reach my goals. Keep it up!! You are doing fantastic! : )

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DARKTHOR 5/7/2011 1:43AM

    It is crazy how much weight we used to carry around without really thinking about it. We are freeing ourselves from the chains that held us down!!!! We are capable of so darn much. Keep going strong!

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SDJOLLY 5/6/2011 10:37PM

    emoticon Congrats on all of your success! You're a true inspiration. emoticon

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MARVEEME 5/6/2011 10:06PM

    RIGHT ON, BABY!

Insightful and inspirational with a catchy title. You RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR an INSPIRATION!

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SPARK ON!

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MARLARELLA 5/6/2011 6:14PM

    You are so inspiring!! We started at the same weight and want to get to about the same weight range so you are my trail blazer!

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MAWDOT35 5/6/2011 3:34PM

    Love all the positive compliments you are getting!!! Awesome blog, Elizabeth!!! Your bones, your knees and your ankles, all thank you for becoming 90 pounds lighter!!! You are a beautiful woman and when you reach your final goal weight, I know that you will never go back to where you started from!!!
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Dorothy

Comment edited on: 5/6/2011 3:34:44 PM

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LISAWILLBEFIT 5/6/2011 2:30PM

    That is so wonderful Congrats.I am happy to have such an inspiring Spark friend

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STIPER23 5/6/2011 2:30PM

    Happy Mother's Day! What a great way to look at your journey! Good luck! emoticon

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CHAOTICMOM4 5/6/2011 2:20PM

    Congratulations and good luck with your journey! Happy Mothers Day!

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SPEARSIE2005 5/6/2011 1:31PM

    I needed this today. Thank you! Keep up the great work! emoticon

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RONNIE0404 5/6/2011 1:14PM

    Congrats on your successes. You are an inspiration Thanks for sharing your story with us.

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CRYSTALJEM 5/6/2011 10:26AM

    Wow way to go and how inspiring. Your comment about how heavy your kids feel really hit home with me. Even 10 lbs, who wants to carry a bag of sugar around with them all day? Thank you for helping me see a new way of looking at things.

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EMSJOURNEY 5/6/2011 9:59AM

    what an amazing accomplishment! keep up the superb work, woman! =)

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MN4VOLS 5/6/2011 9:56AM

    That is so awesome! Way to go! You have so much to be proud of and you motivate me! I am glad that I have found people to go on this journey with. I love what you said about it seeming impossible. I really needed to hear that. We can do this!

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A_ORTEGA 5/6/2011 9:48AM

    Congrats that is Awesome.. I love it.. all that hard work does pay off! I'm so happy for you and I know u will meet your goal!
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BONOLICIOUS2 5/6/2011 9:41AM

    That is a crazy visual - imagine that your bones used to be carrying your children around with you 24/7! I'm sure your body is thanking you!

Overall, you have done an AMAZING job. Stellar, awesome, fabulous, wonderful work! You are truly an inspiration and I'm excited to continue to see you succeed!!!!!

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DBALZER 5/6/2011 9:39AM

    You are a great inspiration! Congrats on your success so far!

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CLC2408 5/6/2011 9:37AM

    Congrats!!! You are an inspiration to so many!!! emoticon emoticon

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KITTY_M 5/6/2011 9:23AM

  Congratulations! You're doing an amazing job. emoticon

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MARTY728 5/6/2011 9:23AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DIXIEDOODLEDEAN 5/6/2011 9:09AM

    Great inspiration to give to others. I am visualizing my success as I write.

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 5/6/2011 8:54AM

    Congratulations, that's fantastic! You are so right, this being such a mental game. You're doing great!

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SMILESHINE81 5/6/2011 8:47AM

    Congratulations! That is awesome! Your success is an inspiration to many people. :)

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DRAGONDEE80 5/6/2011 8:35AM

    emoticon

You know I'm proud of you! Love you!!

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No longer morbidly obese!

Monday, May 02, 2011

I have lost enough weight to make my BMI 39, so I am no longer morbidly obese! I am still obese, but that's ok, because I am a work in progress. When I started out more than a year ago, I was super morbidly obese, and what a shock that was. I realized that if I didn't get serious about changing, my weight was going to end my life prematurely.

Each time I accomplish something, whether it's running a mile, or losing another pound, I am going to be proud of that. I have changed my life, and am still changing and learning, and so I am celebrating being obese today. :D Hopefully in a few months I'll be overweight. ;)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DARKTHOR 5/5/2011 10:41AM

    That is soooo awesome! You really are changing your life. I see you, but you are blurry, because you are not stopped and looking around but moving further and further along on this journey towards good health. So proud of you!

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MARTY728 5/3/2011 3:26PM

    emoticon

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TOYOUBETHEGLORY 5/3/2011 3:03PM

    That is awesome! Such a motivation for me!!

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HEATHERALB 5/3/2011 8:57AM

    What a great feeling for you! You earned it and deserve every bit of happiness! Congratulations on getting one step further in your journey!!!!!! emoticon

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TOTALFOCUS 5/3/2011 1:07AM

    Awesome!
Keep up the great work!!!

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JBUF77 5/2/2011 10:17PM

  emoticon Congrats!

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LISAWILLBEFIT 5/2/2011 6:19PM

    That is so wonderful.

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KITTY_M 5/2/2011 4:10PM

  emoticonCongratulations! You're doing great emoticon

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ERICACEAE 5/2/2011 3:42PM

    Congrats on your milestone! Keep it up, you're doing great work! :)

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MAWDOT35 5/2/2011 3:03PM

    I'm so happy for you! You are so determined, and that is a good thing! You will reach your goal!
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Dorothy

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MN4VOLS 5/2/2011 2:24PM

    Love it! Way to make progress! emoticon

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ANNISSAT 5/2/2011 2:22PM

    emoticon

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BBORDEN86 5/2/2011 2:21PM

    That is exciting news to report! emoticon emoticon

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MARVEEME 5/2/2011 2:21PM

    A BEAUTIFUL brick house is still built one sturdy brick at a time.

YIPPEE!
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FEATHERHEATHER9 5/2/2011 2:14PM

    Yes! That is fantastic!! emoticon

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