Thursday, May 13, 2010
When I was reading "The Spark" and taking all this in, one of the things that popped out at me was that changing my life to this new healthy lifestyle will start affecting me in other areas of my life and I have started to see that.
Granted, some of the things that I have going on are things that I have been doing for a long time. A couple of years ago I was one of those people that just had more credit card debt than they knew what to do with. I went to a place here called Credit Card Counseling of Montana and changed things up. I dumped all my cards and as of about March of next year, I will finally be free of that plastic hell that I created and I'm not going back.
I started thinking about that and weight. They both can really be sneaky in the fact that if you don't pay attention, they can get out of hand. Now that I'm on this road to better health, I also feel better knowing that my wealth is not far behind. The third thing of happiness comes from within and the other two have helped up that level as well.
I could relate to Daris on Biggest Loser because I have been "that guy". The funny fat one that was always smiles and joy on the outside, but not so much inside. I had those dark times that just about destroyed me. I learned how to put on a mask that made others think all was fine. I would even do whatever I could to please others at the expense of myself.
Now, things are different. I love life. I'm happy both on the outside and the inside. I have had people at work give me compliments about how good I am looking. They tell me that they can see a difference in my attitude and energy.
There are still days that I am low, but that is actually OK now. I don't stay there. I allow those bad days to exist because that is normal for us humans. I also know that I won't stay that way. It's like when I work out. I may be tired, and a bit sore but by the next day I'm going 100% again.
Devora4 helped me set and hit a new goal for cardio. She made a comment in her blog about doing 2 hours of cardio a day. Although I won't be able to do that daily, I'm shooting for 3 days a week. As of yesterday I did my first 120 minutes! I was tired, and a bit sore, but I did it! To think back to December of last year I was struggling to do FIVE minutes of cardio a day. If you would have told me then that I could do 2 hours worth, I would have fallen on the floor with laughter. Now I can do it and feel awesome about doing it!
These side effects are fantastic! Feeling better about myself. To have my self esteem grow, and know that I have self worth again. It's wonderful to have the energy and know that my body can do whatever I want to do now. I know I'm no spring chicken and I have to be reasonable, but there is nothing holding me back now.
Life is indeed what you make of it. Stopping the downward spiral is the hardest thing a person can ever do. The really cool part is that an upward spiral brings SO much more to the table, I cannot even think why I would have gone down the dark road in the first place.
Have faith in yourself. Forgive yourself when things get rough. Take time to appreciate all the little things that are in and around you. Know that despite everything, you have that inner energy and drive that can push you to new limits. Allow for bad days and revel in the good ones. Hug more, and tell those in your life how much you love them. Thank the higher powers that have given you this body on this time on this earth.
And keep on moving forwards...
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Last night I was watching Biggest Loser and they had the winner of Season 3 on. He had gained his weight back and I realized something. This new lifestyle, this new mindset that I am choosing has to be full on 100% all the time. This is no diet. This is no reality game show. This is the real deal.
I blogged about how the body creates new fat cells and they just don't go away. While this at first sounds like a no-win situation, it really isn't. All it tells me is that I have to be more diligent about my lifestyle. There are no "rules" that I have to follow on this - it is just matter of fact that if I am not exercising as much, then I need to change my eating habits. It means that the things that I DO eat should be healthier for me and not all the pre-processed foods that I had been eating. (I think pre-processed and I think of babyfood, bleah)
I am like many other people that go through this learning process. I too have tried diets and failed. I have "tried" to exercise, and failed. As one of the best lines uttered by Yoda from Star Wars "Do or Do not, there is no try." We look at ourselves and say "but life just gets in the way sometimes." Oh? Really? That is very true and I'm not dismissing the fact, but as much as life gets in the way, death is final. There is no "do over" or "try again".
It may seen harsh to say that - but I have pretty much dug deep within myself to come to realize that I needed to make a change. I have read lots of self help books and studied things like cognitive psychology and while doing that there was another statement that has stuck in my head. "There are football teams that play to get to the Superbowl, and then there are teams that play to WIN the Superbowl." That has made an impact on me because I am not in this game of life to just "get there", I want to win! I want that extra time in my life that I can go out and enjoy things. I don't want to cut things short because I choose to over eat or not exercise.
As I have said before - this is a personal choice to have a healthy lifestyle for life. I can't change others and they can't change me. The change is from within. It's deeply personal and sometimes we have to go pretty low before that change happens. For me it was stepping on the scale and seeing 400 pounds!
I just know that things are never easy. Heck, I don't WANT things to be easy. If life was easy, it would also be boring. All I know is that things are great. I'm going to continue on and be more aware of the food that enters my body. I'm going to exercise and sweat, and be sore, but the next day I'll feel better. My blood pressure will drop, my cholesterol will drop, my weight will drop, my energy will increase, and I'm going to have FUN!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
OK - I know that I started on this journey to a healthier lifestyle because I was tired of just being over weight. I got fed up with not being able to do things that I wanted to do. It also helped that my doctor pretty much laid it on the line of lose weight or die.
However, there is the vanity side of me that helps drive me to lose weight. I look at myself in the mirror and think "Oh geesh - look at all these jiggly parts that shouldn't be so jiggly". I poke, I prod, I even do things like pull the skin back from my face to try and find that thin me inside.
Then of course there are the dating sites. Granted, I have dropped them all for now because I need to concentrate on ME. I have pretty much decided that trying to pursue a relationship at this time isn't in the cards. I'm not sad about that, heck - it's a decision I have made that I'm happy with. The thing is that I want to be able to list myself as "fit", or even "average". I want to have pictures of me that show the inner thin me that is showing on the outside as well. It's a vanity thing - but I want to be more attractive to others.
In the past I think I have gone out with others that - shall I say - were not as driven as I am now to be healthy. Sometimes the relationships were even caustic to me, but I felt that I needed to "help" them. Um - no, that doesn't work with me anymore. I know that I can be supportive but the power to improve has to come from within each and every one of us.
So - all in all, I want to be better looking in this body of mine. I want to buy clothes from places other than "Reliable Tent and Awning". I want the strength and stamina to enjoy the better things in life. I want to buy that suit that gives me the "James Bond" look. I already have the confidence within, I just want that to show externally as well.
It's not all about just feeling better, eating healthier, and getting exercise. As I have seen stated somewhere else before - I just want that "I look better naked" thing! LOL It won't happen overnight, but it WILL happen. I know it because I'm in control of this body and it's going to get there.
Who knows - then I might even try and date again. Name: Ed ; Body style: Average. Sounds good to me!
Monday, May 10, 2010
I was doing some reading this weekend and found out something that I wasn't aware of, so I thought I would share it.
(addendum: This info was in a newsletter that was put out by our county health department, hence - no links)
Have you ever thought about where fat actually goes when you lose weight? Well you may or may not know that our body has these little cells that increase in size as they store fat (fat cells). When you burn more calories than you eat, your body uses triglycerides for energy. This makes those little fat cells shrink. There is a whole process that explains how things break down but the end result is that this produces things like water and carbon dioxide. This is another reason that we sweat when we work out.
Now here is the kicker. Those little fat cells shrink down, but stay in place. The bad part is that when you gain weight, you get MORE fat cells and THEY DON'T GO AWAY. They sit there like little sponges just waiting to fill back up again. The average man has about 26 billion fat cells and a woman has about 35 billion. When someone gets obese, that number jumps to as many as 270 billion!
So in my mind, that explains some things. That explains when you go on a diet, and come off it and start eating "normal" again, the weight comes back. We need to get moving as well to get that "burn" going on.
It also explains to me why a healthy lifestyle is what is needed. Knowing that even though I lose weight, my body is just waiting to suck up fat again really inspires me to not only lose, but to keep it off. This isn't an overnight thing and isn't just "for a while". This is for the rest of my life!
Friday, May 07, 2010
Stepping on the scale this morning was bitter sweet.
The good news - Mr. Plateau is gone. The bad news - I gained 5 pounds.
However the not so ugly thing is that I'm OK with that. I KNEW I was busting my butt on exercising as normal, but my eating kind of slid off the radar. Then yesterday I didn't get to do my weights as normal, but I was rewarded with learning that my BP is actually lower than I thought! It's almost in the "normal" range and THAT in itself was a huge amount of good news for me.
So I shrug my shoulders, and resolve to get back into a better eating habit, and move forwards. I LOVE the fact that now I just take this all in stride. No more self flagellation about how "bad" I have been and then throwing in the towel and ditching the diet.
Why is that? Well, no diet for one thing. Hard to ditch a healthy lifestyle! I know that weight loss is like life. Since I love cars, I tend to think in those terms. There is no flat road like across the desert. There is no drop off like the edge of a cliff. It's rolling hills. Kind of like what I grew up with around my home town. The road may have it's tops and valleys, but it's always toward the direction that I wanted to go.
So - I gained five pounds this week. I can accept that. It's fine with me. I know I have the power to get back with it and it will be just fine. I'm a good person and love myself and I will just continue,
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