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Holiday Eating tips (Funny)

Friday, December 28, 2012

Holiday eating tips
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare... You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin,Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand and wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great holiday season!!


Thanks to one of my fishing buddies who wrote this I had to share. I thought it was funny so please don't take this seriously. I will not let this way of thinking ruin my journey.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CIERAPOET 12/31/2012 2:48PM

    That Is Funny! And Even Funnier When I Read It The First Time I Had To Go Back To Make Sure I Was Reading It Correctly Because I Thought...For A Moment That They Were Serious! emoticon

Thanks For Sharing And Happy New Year's Eve!
Deb
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LIZZIECA55 12/29/2012 5:02PM

    How funny is that!!!

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SKEEWEE2MEK 12/28/2012 9:12PM

    I enjoyed reading this emoticon

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X5X52000 12/28/2012 7:55PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BABY_GIRL69 12/28/2012 5:07PM

    Those parties better some good & BAD stuff there or I am absolutely gone! lmbo

God bless & enjoy everyday!

Dee

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EPIPHANYANGEL 12/28/2012 4:13PM

    emoticon loved it especially 3 and 5 emoticon emoticon

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CAT609 12/28/2012 10:58AM

    Awesome!

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GARDENCHRIS 12/28/2012 10:35AM

    sounds like a plan!

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CYNCERELY4ME 12/28/2012 9:57AM

    LOL!!!! I'm reading this like WHAT. Great way to start the morning. emoticon

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KTTAYLOR21 12/28/2012 9:28AM

    That was too cute!! I love it!

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LAG1212 12/28/2012 8:51AM

    Very cute but dangerous 4 my health. It makes for a good laugh...lol. Happy Holiday... emoticon

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LOVESLIFE48 12/28/2012 8:29AM

    I like the "chocolate in one hand and wine in the other"!! emoticon

Wishing you much success in 2013!!!!!! emoticon emoticon

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MONIQUE138 12/28/2012 8:22AM

    This was a joke from one of my fishing buddies and had to share. I know we will not take him serious.

Great comeback MYBULLDOGS.

Comment edited on: 12/28/2012 8:23:15 AM

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MYBULLDOGS 12/28/2012 8:06AM

    heres what i do to be successful

i have lost 44 pounds by giving up grain and sugar products.

i walk 15000 steps a day.

i use a salad plate as my dinner plate.

i keep mandrtan oranges in the fridge. when the sweet tooth comes on i grab one or two tablespoons of the fruit.

have a great day

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What a great feeling!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Oh wow! finished 7 days of boxing and I feel great. I am really liking this so much. My workout buddy has been MIA from boxing for a couple of days but I realized since I missed a day because she wasn't coming I felt really bad. I had to get my butt in gear and just go alone. I have to do this with or without her. So I have lost 6 lbs since I started. She was amazed when I told her this and she said "so it's really working" what did she think. I don't know, so hopefully she will be back with me on Monday.

Have a great weekend my sparkling friends and keep sparking and doing your thing.

emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIZZIECA55 8/12/2013 1:43PM

    Congratulations on your loss AND you look fantastic!


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X5X52000 2/11/2012 8:00PM

    emoticon on the weight loss!!!

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CRAFTY626 2/11/2012 11:13AM

    What a great job you are doing. I am glad you found something you love and is beneficial to boot. emoticon emoticon

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LOVESLIFE48 2/11/2012 9:02AM

    That is so awesome!! 6 pounds!! emoticonand I'm very proud of your for going on your own!!! You are an inspiration my friend!! Keep up the great work! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MONIQUE138 2/10/2012 3:40PM

    Thanks a bunch!

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MRSBLAK27 2/10/2012 3:24PM

  emoticon maybe seeing you will motivate her



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TIFFY0906 2/10/2012 2:14PM

    emoticon on your weight loss and way to hang in there even when you had to go alone.

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Boxing Class Round 4 : (

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Had a great time on Friday with the girls. Had to test out my skills on my guy friend because he kept messing with my ponytail. I kept telling him to stop but he kept doing it and laughing at the same time. You know how we are about our hair. So I gave him a right punch to the chest and he fell in a chair through the back door. OMG! I didn't know I could do that. but he asked for it. LOL!

Yesterday was my day to go to my class and I ended up NOT going because I sat there waiting for my buddy who did not call me to tell me she had to go home. UUrgh! I texted her and finally she called me and said she had an emergency at home. By that time I was going to be late for the class. I probably could have still went but I didn't go because I didn't have a pass yet to get in so I thought they wouldn't have let me in. I should have tried anyway. So I ended up kicking myself all the way home. emoticon

Today I will make sure I get my pass and if this happens again I will go alone.

Hope your making it happen today. Have a great week my sparkling friends.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOVESLIFE48 1/31/2012 4:04PM

    So sorry your partner couldn't make it. Kick her butt in the ring!!! LOL!!!

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LIZZIECA55 1/31/2012 12:53PM

    It's the pits when you're waiting on someone and they don't show, but it's life. Keep up the good work and don't let this distract you. Push on! ...and tell your man, "that's what he gets!" LOL!!!

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Knock out!! Time to celebrate

Friday, January 27, 2012

Yesterday was my rest day. It's funny how I feel guilty for not going to boxing class. My body is aching and I need this break. I hope this break doesn't move me backwards and I start getting lazy. I'm also resting today its friday and I need a girls night out with my workout buddy and celebrate our 3 day success. I have planned a workout weekend of popping in my Biggest loser DVD on Saturday and Leslie Sanone walking DVD on Sunday. I have posted on the wall beside my bed to make sure I see it as soon as I get up. I pray that the lord gets me through this. Have a great weekend my sparkling friends.




  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIZZIECA55 1/27/2012 11:30PM

    Good job and good decision. Keep up the good work!

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7356WILMA 1/27/2012 9:59PM

  Enjoy your day off!! You will get your weekend finished!!

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JUICENUT 1/27/2012 9:33PM

    That boxing is such good exercise, but SO much intense work. You will do better after you rest a bit. Enjoy your weekend.

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X5X52000 1/27/2012 5:38PM

    Enjoy your day off!!!! emoticon

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RED_WRITINGHOOD 1/27/2012 11:16AM

    You are doing awesome!! Definitely let you body have the day off and I completely agree with that kitty!!!!

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2BLEAN_N_FIT_AZ 1/27/2012 8:42AM

    You definitely will move forward to continue what you've started! Have a great time with your friends, And then you'll emoticon it into gear on Saturday!
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Comment edited on: 1/27/2012 8:43:37 AM

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LOVESLIFE48 1/27/2012 8:35AM

    Enjoy your break!!! You will not move backwards, you are too determined to finish this!!! emoticon

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Boxing Class Round 3 Ding! Ding!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Yesterday was my third day. WOW! I made it through. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I feel like quiting every time. We did some boxing techniques that I really like but I am the type of person that if I don't do it right I get mad at myself. I have to just know that I am a beginner and in time I will get better. He made us do every ab exercise there is. At one point I just laid there and wanted to just go to sleep and meany came over and looked down at me like what are you doing I said I CAN'T! (never have I ever meant saying these words right then) he said you can and you will. Right there gave me the confidence that I needed. THANK YOU MEANY! Boy everytime I laugh my muscles hurt.

Today and Friday are my rest days but I will be getting a workout in on Saturday on my own.


Calories burned: 717


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ERICA071678 1/27/2012 8:04PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TIFFY0906 1/26/2012 5:47PM

    emoticon for not giving up - keep working at it and you will be a PRO before you know it

Comment edited on: 1/26/2012 5:48:06 PM

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LOVESLIFE48 1/26/2012 4:45PM

    I'm so proud of you for staying with it!! Keep it up!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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