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Nicolas - Gone Four Years!

Friday, March 07, 2014

Greetings SP Family!!

I realize that it's been a while, so how has everyone been doing in their journey? I haven't fared so well, but guess what - tomorrow is but another day!

Ok, so the title says it all...my son Nicolas passed away four years ago YESTERDAY & my heart hurts really, really BAD! I've been in the house pretty much all week & yesterday was a no-no as well. I messed up really bad...I baked a chocolate cake, for which I don't like, but it was one of his faves! I ate 3 pieces!!! I told myself that it was okay & that I would start over again on Friday...so far it isn't working. Why? I'm glad you asked...I had a surgical procedure on last week & have been in recovery mode since. I know that it's no excuse, but money is tight & to be honest, I'm just NOT feeling it.

I have a Church meeting on tomorrow, so that will lend assistance in getting me back on track, besides, this is Lent & I have decided to give up Dr. Pepper & sugar. Actually, with the exception of yesterday, I haven't had a DP for the last four days. Of course the exception to that is when I'm having a serious issue with my sugar. I continue to be a work in progress, so...

My everything hurts really bad & I think that my rheumatoid arthritis is in a terrible flare-up. I also think that my doctor needs to up my methotrexate. We'll see.

Anyway, we're only into March, so there is plenty of time to get it right!!

Blessings to each & every one of you!!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MICKEYD4 3/17/2014 11:17PM

    emoticon emoticon . you will get back on track.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 3/8/2014 5:47PM

    It was really good to hear from you. I know from having been your friend for a long time how much you miss your son. Anniversaries of our loved ones death are always so hard. I am praying for you.

My arthritis had been acting up too.

I will be rooting for you to meet your goals!


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FERRETLOVER1 3/8/2014 7:29AM

    I am so sorry about the loss of your son. It never gets easier. Try to just be kind to yourself and remember him with love and joy. emoticon

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DEDICATED2HIM 3/8/2014 6:38AM

    I'm so sorry about the loss of your son. Maybe give your rheumy a call (you do have one, don't you?) Maybe he can call in a script for some Prednisone to get you over the flare.

I do understand about the "close encounters with chocolate cake" lol. Just brush off the crumbs, forgive yourself and move on. Come join us in the Daily Chat on the RAD Team. You will find lots of support and friendship there.
blessings,
Cynthia

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ALLYALLYT 3/7/2014 11:46PM

    I can't imagine losing a child, my deepest sympathies. (((hugs))) WooHoo on no DP for 4 days, I gave up sweets for lent. Shouldn't be that hard, right? Nope, I made lemon bars the night before, have several boxes of girl scout cookies around and my sister brought me half a home made chocolate by death cheesecake..... I will stay strong!!!!

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THETURTLEBEAR 3/7/2014 11:39PM

    I think you can forgive yourself for having a rough time staying with the program this week. A day at a time...

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LAURELSPARK 3/7/2014 9:32PM

    So sorry about your son! (I'll be praying for you.)

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EMSSBEARS 3/7/2014 9:05PM

    I know how painful the loss of a loved one can be and I will pray for emotional healing. I will also pray for your physical healing you mentioned that you had just had surgery - you have a lot going on right now. Please just cut yourself some slack and forgive yourself when you slip up - hopefully the doctors can get your medications adjusted and your arthritis can get under control. Good luck with your sugar and Dr Pepper commitment for lent emoticon .

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PATRICIAAK 3/7/2014 8:40PM

    hugs

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NBUTLER91 3/7/2014 6:00PM

    I am so sorry to hear about the death of your son. I cannot even image what that would be like. Try turning over your pain to the Lord and the Blessed mother(she would understand better than most how you feel since she lost her son!). I too have RA and CAN understand that. I hope you week ahead is better for you. If you need to just sound off to anyone, remember I will listen.

Nancy

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JUSTME9898 3/7/2014 4:25PM

    Be kind to yourself. What would you say to your best friend if he was dealing with the issues you are dealing with - Now say that to yourself. Breathe, relax, and forgive yourself, remember it is not perfection we are striving for it is persistence.


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Merry Christmas!! ♡♡♡

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Greetings SP Family,

I know that it's been a while, so much going on for which we'll chat later. Just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas & a most prosperous New Year!! ♡♡

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

782298 1/7/2014 5:08AM

    I agree. Health first and the lost of a few pounds is an appreciated added bonus. emoticon

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ANGRITTER 12/25/2013 5:18PM

    Merry Christmas and happy hugs to your and yours!

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LINOVER 12/25/2013 1:33PM

    Hope you also have a very Merry Christmas!
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Comment edited on: 12/25/2013 1:35:11 PM

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MNOT2THICK 12/25/2013 10:08AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Have a Very Merry Christmas!!

Tea

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-PAULA 12/25/2013 8:23AM

    Merry Christmas!

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FERRETLOVER1 12/25/2013 7:29AM

    Merry Christmas!

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PAULALALALA 12/24/2013 10:39PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Merry Christmas to you, too!

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KELLIEBEAN 12/24/2013 10:25PM

    Merry Christmas darlin!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 12/24/2013 9:53PM

    Merry Christmas to you too and a happy new year!!!

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GODDREAMDIVA1 12/24/2013 9:52PM

    Merry Christmas

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HARPIE 12/24/2013 9:41PM

  Thanks! Merry Christmas to you!

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DETLOFFNAC 12/24/2013 9:39PM

  Merry Christmas to yuo too

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OMG!!

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Good Morning Sparklers!!!

Ok, so it's been a while since we last "talked"... how is everyone doing on their journey & what's going on?? So, let's "chat" before I go to my Women's Missionary Society meeting at Church this morning...

I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted. My hours have picked up quite a bit at work, with back to school & all. Let me tell you this, I don't know if it's the heat or just plain old "bad disposition", but between the teachers needing to get their stuff together & having to pay for all of the print jobs out of their own pockets & the other crazies, I'm about ready to walk out the door. But necessity dictates that I can't...LOL


Oh yeah, then there's this... the 6th of March was the anniversary of my son's death. On the 7th of March, not feeling well, I didn't want to go to work, but again, necessity dictates that I can't miss. Long story short, someone broke into my locker, STOLE everything OUT of my purse, including everything related to my identity & my keys. Had the audacity to walk out the door, & using the remote, LOCATED MY VEHICLE & STOLE MY TRUCK!!!!! Are you freaking kidding me??!!! That's MY truck, clear title & all!! Talk about adding injury to insult, did I not just say that I didn't want to go to work in the first place?! Dammit, get your own stuff... I'm just saying...

For three weeks, I didn't have access to my bank account, no money, no drivers license, credit cards, or ANYTHING!!! Oh yeah, they had brass balls & used my credit cards immediately after stealing everything, at three stores to the total of $600.00 UGH!!!!

Ok, so as I continue to deal with that, now I'm at the mercy of having to ask for help! Really?!! God, if you're listening, please have mercy on me & the idiot that stole my belongings, they're going to need it!!

Alright, so fast forward to NOW.... God is smiling on me, yes he is....

I have replaced my drivers license, social security card, funds have been replaced in my account, & I have been approved for another vehicle.... I really wasn't looking forward to car payments at this time, but I can no longer go without a vehicle... so for that I'm grateful, indeed!!

Rest assured that as soon as this back-to-school is OVER, I will be cutting my hours back a bit....I'm extremely tired & this rheumatoid arthritis is NOT my friend...

I will be signing off for now, so that I can prepare myself for my meeting at Church.

Blessings to you all!!

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I miss you terribly Nicolas!!! Forever in my heart, your Mother!! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOM2ACAT 8/18/2013 8:22PM

    emoticon

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DEDICATED2HIM 8/18/2013 3:56PM

    I'm so sorry. You are right about brass balls. Someone once stole just one credit card and $10 cash from my purse and chalked up $600 in ski equipment. Isn't it an infuriating and helpless feeling!?
well i'm glad that now you have gotten things squared away. I Hope you had theft insurance on your car.
Blessings and wishes that your RA is easing up.

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KELLIEBEAN 8/18/2013 6:47AM

    It's so great to see a blog by you again. So sorry about all you went through and right after the anniversary!

I'm glad everything got replaced. I hope you are having a wonderful weekend!!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 8/17/2013 9:14PM

    Oh my gosh! That is absolutely terrible. I hope they can get your truck back!! emoticon

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USMAWIFE 8/17/2013 8:57PM

    emoticon I can't imagine what you were going through. this person had your entire life in their hands. I am so glad that they did not try to use the keys to enter your house and take more of your life from you.

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SPARKLE1908 8/17/2013 8:40PM

    Sorry that happened to you but glad to see that you are pushing forward...take care of yourself!

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ROXYZMOM 8/17/2013 4:28PM

    Hang in there, keep going, you can get through.

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PATRICIAAK 8/17/2013 2:04PM

    Prayers being sent up for you

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MJ7DM33 8/17/2013 1:53PM

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CINDHOLM 8/17/2013 12:06PM

    emoticon

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NANCYPAT1 8/17/2013 11:03AM

    (HUGS) I know how hard the anniversary of our son's death (the 8th of October is the anniversary of MY son's death) can be and to have all of that "STUFF" happen on top of it is REALLY REALLY tough. I know you will accept my prayers and thoughts as you continue to deal with the challenges that have been put in your way. You are at least fortunate to have a church family to help provide some support and spiritual encouragement through these challenging times.

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GRAMMYNSC 8/17/2013 10:22AM

    WOW! You have really had a rough go of it! I'm sorry for the loss of your son and all the agony you went through with your purse and truck being stolen. I had my purse stolen out of my car once and it makes you feel so violated! I am gonna pray that God will bless you and you will find some $$$ where you least expect it! I beleive that! Also I will pray that God will cover you in his mercy and help your soul to heal from the loss of your son! Keep your chin up! God isn't finished with you yet!
Be Blessed
Love Kitty emoticon emoticon

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So Now What??!!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Greetings To All!!

My, it sure has been a while & I pray that everyone is doing well! Ok, so what's the biz?...

Here goes... I (we) finally finished school & graduated with my Bachelor's in Business Management!!! emoticon

What have you all been up to? Let's chat for a while... I'm sad & my heart hurts, but I really can't tell you why!!

Our company is going through some changes & have made the "corporate" decision to close our location...having said that, Thank God the associates will be transferring to other locations, hopefully close to their geographical location. As for me, I have a strong feeling that I will get a pink slip...why? I'm glad you asked... I have a lot of health concerns & I am very strong in my convictions that unless they are willing to keep my schedule the way it is now, with weekends off for Church functions on Saturday & free on Sunday to attend Church, I don't think that the store manager at the other location is willing to bend... I'm not either. Since Nicolas has gone on to glory, this truly has a different meaning entirely & is a huge part of my life.

So, on to the next phase... I was just recently diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis & this stuff is no joke. I kept telling my doctor that my ankles hurt terribly bad & it really felt like my bones were put in backwards & coming through!!! Since it is so advanced, they have put me on Methotrexate & folic acid to lend assistance with a sick tummy & hair loss...
I'm okay with that, except that it just hurts, & I want it to stop...

As I sit here thinking about a LOT of stuff, I have it in my spirit that I want to work from home for a while.... this keeps keeping to me & has been for quite some time... is this possibly a sign that change is in order. The last day for the store is November 17, so we'll see what happens....

I wanted to share this with everyone.... this is a little note that I wrote for Nicolas for graduation...

"Nicolas, when we first started this journey, WE were side by side; however, somewhere along the way, God called you on to Glory; thus making it harder to go it alone. Through many tears, & oftentimes feeling that I just couldn’t go on – I looked up toward the Heavens, knowing in my heart that you had been by my side all along. Our journey is now complete!"

In your honor & precious memory!

I love you!

Mother


As I close, I pray that everyone's spirit is calm, & if it isn't seek God first, then perhaps someone to talk you....

Please, please keep in touch & may everyone have a blessed night!!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JSTETSER 3/20/2013 6:39AM

    I added you as my new sparkfriend today. Keep moving forward!

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CHESAKAT41 2/21/2013 6:20AM

    I know this is late - but congrats on your success! I hope Nicholas has met my John in heaven - wouldn't that be nice? Blessings

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SPARKLE1908 10/28/2012 6:09PM

    God bless you and I pray that everything in your life turns out according to HIS will...nothing but blessings and warm wishes being sent your way...and congratulations on getting your degree...that is a wonderful accomplishment with more meaning than many will realize! emoticon

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BABY_GIRL69 10/27/2012 7:43PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon God bless & keep you...Dee

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MILLISMA 10/26/2012 9:38PM

    I know that Nicholas was there with you when you got your degree. Keeping you in my prayers and hope that things get better.

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LINOVER 10/26/2012 9:03PM

    Congratulations on getting your degree. Sorry that your company will be closing your location. I am sure that another door will open for you though!

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KEIPONY 10/26/2012 4:13PM

    God Bless You! I am glad you finished school, my heart is heavy for your loss and I am excited for your new chapter in your life. I hate that you have to deal with this physical pain of RA, but hang in there. I know there is support out in our SP world that can give you advise.

Keep up the prayers and keep in touch!

Good to hear from you.

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READYBETTY 10/26/2012 1:09PM

    Congratulations on getting your degree. What an accomplishment! I'm praying God will bless you during your job transition.

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FERRETLOVER1 10/26/2012 7:25AM

    When one door closes - another one opens - look forward to the changes that are ahead for you.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 10/25/2012 10:14PM

    Congratulations on getting your degree!! You worked hard for that!

I am sorry that your work situation is changing and hope that they will allow you to keep your schedule and stay. If not, I hope you can work from home.

I have R.A. too and it gets easier to cope with after a while. I have had it since I was 38 and I'm 60 now.

I'm sure that Nicholas is very proud of you.

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ACIMPEGGY 10/25/2012 10:12PM

    You betcha, Nicholas is still with you in Spirit! I only believe in transitions...not that d....h word.

Working from home sounds good to me. I was thinking today that I need a job that fulfills and exhilarates me again. Not one that leaves me beyond absolute exhaustion.

There is an RA team here on SP, though I haven't checked it out...

Sending Light and Love emoticon

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KELLIEBEAN 10/25/2012 9:47PM

    Congrats on your bachelors degree. That took a lot of work. I will keep you in my prayers!

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JGRAY76 10/25/2012 9:37PM

    Sounds like you have a lot going o. In your life. Take it one step at a time and one day at a time. Do something that brings you joy every day and keep the faith. Hope your days get brighter!

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Let's Give Them Something to Talk About...

Wednesday, July 04, 2012


Greetings Everyone!!

I'll start by telling my son, Nicolas HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Today would have been his 27th birthday, but he is in Heaven up above smiling down on me...Why? Because, with the exception of an essay, I have completed my undergrad program & I will be marching to receive my Bachelor's in Business Management.... This I have done in memory of my son, Nicolas!!!

By the grace of God, WE DID IT!!!!

Okay, so when I have completed my essay, what is my next step? Not sure, but I do know that while I am not ungrateful, this part time stuff is killing me financially!!! I feel that now that I am past being a full time student, I want to go back to work full time. I won't lie & say that I am not having concerns with my medical issues, especially now that I am having the dropsies, & dizzy spells, but, such as life...

Antywho....

How is everyone doing? I hope that all is well with everyone!! Life is way too short, so don't be too hard on yourself. Live a little!!

Hugs!!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KELLIEBEAN 10/19/2012 10:37PM

    I hope you are doing well! A beautiful story!

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MISSDAISY23 9/3/2012 8:16PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LARKSONGRUTH 9/3/2012 12:04AM

    Congratulations! What a great way to honor your son! I hope that you find work that will help you financially while still giving you time and energy to take care of yourself. I am also struggling with those same issues right now.

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LOVEABLELULU 7/25/2012 8:39AM

    Congratulations! I know Nicholas is very proud of you. God is so good and worthy to be praised.

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EABL81 7/16/2012 10:43PM

    Congratulations on a great achievement!

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JANIEWWJD 7/5/2012 7:15PM

    CONGRATULATIONS and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Nicolas in heaven!!! My husband's name is also Nicolas, without the "h". God bless you!!!!
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BABY_GIRL69 7/5/2012 3:07PM

    Happy Birthday Nick! Congrats mom for your accomplishment! He is so proud of you for this....

God bless,

Dee

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SHERYLDS 7/5/2012 10:30AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CINDYSDAY 7/5/2012 10:14AM

    Congrates and Hopefully you will find what you are needing!

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LAURELSPARK 7/5/2012 9:22AM

    Congrats on finishing your degree. Happy Birthday to Nicolas (by the way my son's name is also spelled without the h)! I''m sure you think of him every day.

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RUNNER4LIFE08 7/5/2012 9:13AM

    emoticon You have worked so hard and should be very proud of yourself!

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CAMROLA 7/5/2012 6:53AM

    Congratulations!

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CHEETARA79 7/5/2012 6:30AM

    Oh wow! Congratulations graduate!!!

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ROXYZMOM 7/4/2012 10:38PM

    Happy Birthday, Nicholas! This must be such a hard day for you, I can't begin to imagine it. I love your positive attitude!

Congrats in finishing your degree -- the sky is the limit -- go for it!!!

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ROCKYCPA 7/4/2012 10:32PM

    Congrats on your degree!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 7/4/2012 9:50PM

    I want to wish Nicolas a happy birthday even if he is in Heaven. I know he was very special because you are very special. He would be so proud of what you have accomplished! Congratulations!

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SLENDERELLA61 7/4/2012 9:38PM

    BIG CONGRATULATIONS on your accomplishment!! Now, go write that essay so you can really, really celebrate.

Best wishes for finding the exact job that uses your skills but you are comfortable doing. Take care.

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FITKAT62 7/4/2012 8:59PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CINDHOLM 7/4/2012 8:42PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MOONLIGHT38 7/4/2012 8:39PM

    emoticon
I agree life is to short. Keep up the good work and thanks for the encouraging words

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 7/4/2012 8:25PM

    emoticon

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SPARKLE1908 7/4/2012 8:18PM

    Congratulations on your degree...I know your son is very proud of you!!!! I am sorry that he isn't he physically but he is definitely with you in spirit!!!

I hope you do get back to full time work, if that is what you are looking for...but please take care..those dizzy spells, etc. don't sound like fun at all...

Take care!!!

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