Wednesday, February 12, 2014
I had my nails done last Friday. Gel nails--absolutely love, love, love them! Feel so pretty and girly. Never thought spending the money on myself like that was worth it--that I was worth it. Well--I am! LOL
I've been staying on track. Getting all my food tracked. Making sure I do some type of strength training every day--even if it's only for a few minutes. Getting in 10,000 steps--even if that means having to hop on the treadmill at 8 pm--I WILL have those steps in before I hit the hay.
I've been stuck in the 280s for the past couple months. Up, down, and staying the same. I WILL be out of them once and for all by the 26th (my birthday goal to ME).
I feel strong. I feel confident.
Saturday, February 01, 2014
I have to say I'm very glad to see December/January go. The past two months haven't been good at all: my mom's surgery, the holidays, no sleep, binge eating, stress, stress, and more stress. Come on February!
I've spent the past week getting back on track--it's been difficult, but I believe I've done it. I've pulled my Fitbit back out (not sure why I ever stopped wearing it), dusted off the treadmill, and have been trying to log every bite I take. And it's working! I'm almost back down to where I was before everything hit the fan. 5 more pounds to go and I'll be there. I'm confident it'll happen.
When I look at my original goal when I started back to Sparkpeople, I'm 33 pounds behind at this point. This is a goal I had due to the fact that my son is getting married in July (oldest son--first one to get married). I am also confident that I will 'catch up' to my goal--maybe not this month...maybe not the next month--but I WILL catch up to where I wanted to be.
I begin every day thinking about how good God has been to me. Even though I had a very difficult past two months, He was with me all the way. I have to remember to thank Him for holding me up when I doubt I could do it myself. And now that I'm back on track things are really looking up! The gained weight is coming off. We are getting an unexpected small windfall of cash (bonus/tax refund) to help pay off some bills that have been dragging us down. AND I got a raise at work! God is great!
So, on this first day of February I say: I'm ready! BRING IT ON!!
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Thanks to those who commented and offered support on my last blog. I appreciate your kindness more than you know.
I've been back on track for the past few days--thankfully. I can't say it's been a breeze stopping the binge eating I had been doing. But for the past two days I've stayed within my calorie limit and have chosen healthy foods that are good for my body. Yes, I've found myself sitting at night thinking, "What can I eat to feel better?" Thankfully, I got up both times and walked on my treadmill instead.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Well, I hopped on the scale today just to see that I've gained almost 10 pounds over the past week. I can't seem to stop eating. Honestly, I've been on a binge for approximately 4 days and I can't seem to stop.
I don't really know what set me off. I've been feeling worthless, bored, have cabin fever, and just pretty much am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
The person I was partners with hasn't emailed me back since January 12th. I don't know if she quit, is too sick to post, etc. I could really use some support...a kick in the butt...something.
First thing I did after stepping on the scale was start working out. Something in me wants to stop this craziness.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
I'm still here. Things have been absolutely crappy lately.
My mom had to have emergency bypass surgery--quadruple a week before Christmas. She made it through the surgery. But now a month later she is still really struggling. Her body is retaining water. Really bad in her legs--especially the one they took the veins for the bypass out of. They say her kidneys aren't working correctly and they can't seem to get her Warfarin (blood thinner) where it needs to be. She's getting scared and depressed. And quite frankly, so am I. I pray. I pray. And I pray some more.
Then I just found out my uncle has stage 4 lung cancer, our church secretary has terminal stomach cancer, and another lady at church has cancer and is beginning chemo. WTH is going on?
My son's wedding is in July. I was on a goal plan to get to a certain weight by that time. I'm about 25 pounds behind and it makes me so mad at myself. I've been screwing around with my eating/exercising for the past month or so and have gotten absolutely no where.
I'm feeling stressed out. Yes, I'm eating right (now). Yes, I'm logging my food (lately anyways). Yes, I'm exercising every day. Yes, I'm losing again. But wow...I really could use some good news for a change.
I feel like crying...I'm so worried about my mom. Afraid I'll get a phone call and she'll be gone. And after all the pain and suffering she's been through the past month. It's not fair.
And now that I've read back through this, I'm going to stop and just post it. I sound like a sniveling baby--and that's not really who I am. But I need to let it be what it is so someday I can look back and realize I made it through.
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