Friday, July 06, 2012
Not long ago, 2 days to be exact, I was very unhappy and feeling 'blah'. Today I feel happy. I haven't changed much. I am eating better for sure, and I am thinking about ways to be a better mom and wife (and better to me). It's nice to just be happy. :)
I have been eating very well these past 2 days. My cravings haven't been unbareable. I think it's because I am so sick of eating junk. I spent so much time the past few months just stuffing my face until I couldn't eat anymore, I think my body is just happy to not feel full and bloated constantly.
I haven't started exercising yet, but that's okay. I have been moving around more which is good. I will start exercising this weekend. I am going to start the C25k plan on Sunday. I love running and I can't wait to start again.
Tomorrow I'm planning a trip to the beach for the family. I have already purchased all my snacks and have planned what I'm eating for the day. I should be just fine and not tempted by other peoples food. ;)
Thursday, July 05, 2012
Lately I've been thinkging alot about how lucky I am to have my family. It's probably due to seeing a close family member go through a very close call with their child. I am working very hard to be more aware each day and with each interaction with my kids and my husband. I think that part of not taking care of myself also included zoning out of my own life. I have been kind of sleep walking through - doing things but not really being in the moment. It seems like just yesterday I was pregnant with my oldest and now she's almost 12, I have 2 more kids and I've been with my husband for 10 years this week.
I honestly can say that I have missed most of that time. It's sad because I have always wanted a family just so that I can enjoy raising kids and seeing them grow up. I want my kids to look back and remember that I was really present for their life. No, I may not be the best mom or know just the right thing to do all the time, but I just want to be a participant in their life.
I'm not sure why it's so easy to zone out, but I know that I have to make a conscious effort to be aware.
I don't know for sure how to turn it around, but I have a couple ideas.
1. Spend at least an hour each day (3 on the weekends) on their level doing an activity that they enjoy.
2. Find more ways to allow them to 'help' me. My kids love to help cook, but it's usually easier and faster to just do it myself. No more. I will actively look for more ways to allow them to participate.
3. Make a to-do list for cleaning the house, one that's realistic in expectations, and do it. I get so depressed and overwhelmed by how much I have to do sometimes around the house that I just want to zone out and ignore it. I think that if the house was tidier then it would free up some room in my brain for the family (and physical room).
4. Stick to weekly date night with hubby. My poor eating and zoning out have completely taken over my evenings. My husband and I almost never have time with just the 2 of us when I'm not asleep or distracted by a TV show or playing with my cell phone. I will make our time a priority.
I will work on this and revisit it once in a while to see how I'm doing.
Monday, June 18, 2012
It has been a really long time since I visited Spark. Lots have happened. Mostly I haven't been taking very good care of myself or my family (mostly myself).
I don't really know why. . . maybe it's easier to just not care about myself. The truth is though it only seems easier. Through my poor food choices and not exercising at all not only have I gained back most of the weight I lost 2 years ago, but I have also gained a crappy attitude and lots of tired, miserable days.
I spent some time looking back at my most successful time and realized that I need to get back there. I was happy, energetic and took good care of myself.
Taking stock of some of the best goals I set in 2010 I have fallen short. BUT I can make it better. I can go forward from today working towards those goals again. That's the best thing about being alive, the chance to start new.
My #1 Goal is to take control of my food choices and make them based on my long-term mental and physical well being.
Goal #2 is to workout 3 - 6 days a week for 30 minutes.
Goal #3 is to enjoy my family!
I think these goals are still relevant and wrothwhile.
Getting to my goals.
Goal #1 - I am cutting out sugar, wheat, caffeine and highly processed foods.
Goal #2 - I am going to start working out again, right now 3 times a week after work, but will add more as time allows and my strength lets me.
Goal #3 - The first step is to take care of me again. I have let them done by not taking care of myself in the most basic ways. I will choose foods and drinks that give me energy and not ones that leave me lethargic. My kids are growing so fast, I can hardly believe that my youngest is 3.5 and my middle child is entering Kindergarten. I am so happy and I want to cherish this time. My oldest is also close to her teen years and I want to make sure that I don't miss this time that I have with her before she is too cool for mom. :)
Monday, January 16, 2012
I was so tired and irritable the end of last week. I just didn't feel like posting. Pretty much each day I woke up tired and fell asleep exhausted. Eating was mostly good. I did endulge several times on some low carb atkins candy I bought for my husband. I'm not sure why I did - I know it's junk. I definately didn't feel too good afterwards. I will make sure if I'm going to treat myself, it's atleast something I will enjoy like dark chocolate or cake.
I quit coffee on Friday. My headaches weren't bad, which was awesome. I quit in the hopes that my energy would get better, but nope. I guess I need to face facts that I need to take iron supplements for my low iron and low ferritin. I really don't want to because of the constipation and pain, but I don't know how long it might take for just eating Primal to help, or if it even will. I am hoping I can get an appointment with Chris Kessler about his without needing to do the whole intake thing (I can't afford it), but I want to get a second opinion on this.
I haven't been tracking my food much, but I will start again. Mostly so that I know my carb counts. I am a little curious about macro ratios and calories, but will not choose foods or limit foods based on these. For the most part I just want to see if my fat and carb intakes affect my energy at all.
Energy @ Waking: not much
Energy in Evening: **will record tomorrow**
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