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It's my choice how I react - one choice at a time

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Feeling pretty good today, but last night wasn't so great, or atleast it had the opportunity to not be good.

So last yesterday I left work feeling good, made good choices and had godo choices planned for the night. I planned on cooking a healthy stir fry over whole grain noodles (with lots of fresh veggies). When I got home I could see that my husband was in a really bad mood. In our house, when one of us is in a bad mood it usually rubs off on the other person. I would normally get wind of the bad mood, somehow in my head make it all about me (without even talking to him) and then order some pizza or whatever. Instead I decided to sit down and talk to him. He told me about his day, all the things that happened to upset him (none of them were about me). I noticed my old pattern emerging, my first instict while listening to all the negativity was to not cook, just order a pizza and sit down on the couch depressed. I quickly told myself that ordering a pizza was not an option, sitting on the couch was not an option, and I quickly turned my attention back to his story. When he was done I cooked dinner.

Now, I won't say that I was happy and cheerful and that I was in the best mood, but I did stick to my plan and cook the healthy meal. I prepped a little for the next day. I didn't sulk, I didn't eat emotionally, I did provide support to my DH and gave attention to my kids.

I know that life is made up of many of these choices. I know I'm not perfect and there may be times where I make the wrong choice and order the pizza. But I am SO proud of myself for sticking to my plan and not giving in last night.

Today I get to have lunch with my 10 yr old DD. She's going on a camping trip with her dad for 4 days (not my current husband), so I won't see her for a little while. We're going to take a long walk then eat lunch (healthy planned food). I don't get to spend much one-on-one time with her, so this is special.

Here's to another day of good choices.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATHGRACE5 8/10/2011 3:27PM

    WOW!!!!!! That's a great success! Thanks for sharing your strength and courage with us! I agree that each healthy choice adds up to a great life. Hope you have a great time with your DD!

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LUCKIEST24 8/10/2011 2:34PM

    Well done! Add up all those good choices and you have a successful, beautiful and happy woman! WTG!!!
Oh....and it doesn't matter if you weren't "in the mood" to keep these good choices. what matters is that you kept them!!!!

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Putting myself first

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Today I went to the podiatrist for some shin pain and other foot related problems. He suggested a custom orthotic. I normally wouldn't want to spend that much on myself for something I need, but I did. I want to be able to run and walk without pain.

I have made great choices today. I am sticking to my food plan that I created last night. Yesterday I stuck to my plan - even though I made fried rice and egg rolls for the family. It smelled good, but it wasn't on my plan so I just said no. I was glad I did, because the food I had planned was really good and more filling. I think the next time I make my chinese dinner I will make a small batch of fried rice with brown rice for me - I don't want to start depriving myself of things that I don't have to. Last night was different though - I just started this path and I don't want to start eating off plan. I don't think there's anything wrong with making a meal fit how I'm eating now just for myself. I would rather do that than eat something that I would feel bad about.

I walked almost 3 miles altogether yesterday. I won't be able to walk during my lunch today since I had my dr appt but I will be working out after the kids go to sleep with my DH. I will walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes and do about a 20 minute strength boot camp workout, Jillian style.

Overall I feel good today. I am happy that I'm taking care of myself by eating good food, getting my exercise and taking care of aches and pains.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNRIZING 8/10/2011 12:52AM

    emoticon emoticon

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    Thank you both!!!

OL1015 - you are so right, I spend so much time and money taking care of everyone else, but I'm realizing that they need me to take care of myself the same if not more than they need me to take care of them.

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OL1015 8/9/2011 1:11PM

  Why is it that as women we often put everyone else before ourselves? We always think twice before spending money or time on something for ourselves even if we need it. But if it was for our kids or husbands, we wouldn't think twice. I'm glad that you are taking care of yourself. If making your meal plans is what's going to keep you on track and help put yourself first, then go right ahead...keep it up! You are worth it! You deserve it! Do you!

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JENNKFIT 8/9/2011 12:56PM

    Good luck and take care of you!

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Making a committment to myself and my family

Monday, August 08, 2011

I have been really wanting to start over with my commitment to eliminate sugar and flour from my diet, but just haven't been able to do it. Last week was my turning point, I made myself so sick with junk that I had no choice but to make a change.

On Saturday and Sunday I visited two FA (Food Addicts) metings, and reconfirmed that the program is not for me. I am impressed by what the participants have achieved with their plans, but my life can be so chaotic that anything too structured right now is a train wreck waiting to happen. I like having a structured plan in terms of what I will eat and how much, but I don't like as much rigidity as they require. Also, they require so many meetings and daily communication. I wish I could do it, I would love to have people like me to speak with daily to help stay focused. However I can't make that the most important thing in my life.

I was disappointed yesterday when I realized that I wasn't going to be able to do the FA program, but I am relieved that I atleast found out all the details and made a decision.

I did stop eating sugar/flour on Saturday, but had a little bit Sunday. Poor planning.

I am doing great today, and feeling great. I have more energy already and my brain feels more normal. Not feeling hungry constantly.

My goals going forward are:

1. Put my family first - make sure I'm spending time being productive for us (not daydreaming about the future, snacking or being a TV zombie)
2. Treat my body with respect and care

The way I will meet these goals:
(goal 1)
1. Make to-do lists for each day and week so that I can accomplish household and personal chores more effectively
2. Do more prep work for meals the night before, so that I have more quality time with kids after work
3. Do more household chores during week, so that I am not stressed on the weekends

(goal 2)
1. No sugar (will allow Stevia in limited quantities)
2. No flour (wheat, processed grains - basically only non-wheat, whole grain items)
3. Stay within my calorie range 6 days a week, allow myself 1 day (probably Sunday) to go higher for either a planned treat, date with Hubby or other worthwhile thing *only 1 meal though, not going crazy entire day
4. Continue walking more
5. 2 days strength training

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OL1015 8/9/2011 1:15PM

  Looks like you've thought this through and you have a great plan. Good Luck!

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How quickly we forget - reviewing 2010's accomplishments

Friday, August 05, 2011

Wow. 2010 was a good year for me in terms of becoming more self aware. I learned some valuable lessons about how my body works best. I have strayed so far from this

and this

I was trying to think back about how I felt when I set my mind to start that journey (of no sugar, processed wheat, coffee) and I was so determined not to let anything get in my way. Also, I wasn't any where as stressed as I have been so far this year. I can think back to when I started my decent from my ideal way of eating to where I am now struggling daily, and it all started with 2 stressful things. Losing a friend and a huge money mistake I made. I don't think I ever forgave my self for the mistake and I think I've been eating the feelings instead.

Crystal, I forgive you. You are allowed to make mistakes. Your husband and kids love you no matter what. I love you no matter what. Let it go and move on.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OL1015 8/9/2011 1:18PM

  Often times our emotional burdens weigh more on us than pounds do. Forgiving yourself is a great way to relieve yourself and make amends to a new beginning.

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Confession time

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Time to confess to myself that I've been in denial the last few days. It started over the weekend. Saturday was great. A day of good choices and feeling great. Then on Sunday something happened, not sure what, but it ended with me eating my way through little debbies oatmeal cookie pies and telling myseld it was okay because I had eaten my vegetables and gotten in my exercise, plus my husband loves me just the way I am so I don't need to 'try' to lose weight.

Then Monday, the same thought from the end of Sunday, DH loves me just like I am, I don't need to lose weight. I ate my vegetables and got in my exercise so it was okay that I ate a couple fun size candy bars. They couldn't do too much damage.

Then Tuesday, instead of a couple fun size candy bars it was at least a dozen. Still got in my vegetables and exercise, though barely 10 minutes.

Then yesterday, dozens (heck, who am I fooling, I stopped counting after 10) of fun size candy bars, still got my vegetables but this time no exercise.

I don't like where this is going. I love my self too much to continue poisoning my body with all this sugar. I felt so sick and nauseous by the end of the day yesterday I just want to cry. Why do I keep doing this to myself, why to I let myself down time and time again. I would never let my kids do this, why do I let myself?

Today is a new day and a new chance to love myself. I am worth a nother chance, I will never be too far gone to start over.

Goals for today:

1. No candy, none, not even 1!

2. Get 20 minutes of activity.

3. 10 cups of water

4. Eat at least 4 veggie servings and 2 fruit servings.

5. Stop before eating something I didn't plan, take a break, take a walk, what ever I need to do to rethink eating something I don't need.


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