Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Feeling pretty good today, but last night wasn't so great, or atleast it had the opportunity to not be good.
So last yesterday I left work feeling good, made good choices and had godo choices planned for the night. I planned on cooking a healthy stir fry over whole grain noodles (with lots of fresh veggies). When I got home I could see that my husband was in a really bad mood. In our house, when one of us is in a bad mood it usually rubs off on the other person. I would normally get wind of the bad mood, somehow in my head make it all about me (without even talking to him) and then order some pizza or whatever. Instead I decided to sit down and talk to him. He told me about his day, all the things that happened to upset him (none of them were about me). I noticed my old pattern emerging, my first instict while listening to all the negativity was to not cook, just order a pizza and sit down on the couch depressed. I quickly told myself that ordering a pizza was not an option, sitting on the couch was not an option, and I quickly turned my attention back to his story. When he was done I cooked dinner.
Now, I won't say that I was happy and cheerful and that I was in the best mood, but I did stick to my plan and cook the healthy meal. I prepped a little for the next day. I didn't sulk, I didn't eat emotionally, I did provide support to my DH and gave attention to my kids.
I know that life is made up of many of these choices. I know I'm not perfect and there may be times where I make the wrong choice and order the pizza. But I am SO proud of myself for sticking to my plan and not giving in last night.
Today I get to have lunch with my 10 yr old DD. She's going on a camping trip with her dad for 4 days (not my current husband), so I won't see her for a little while. We're going to take a long walk then eat lunch (healthy planned food). I don't get to spend much one-on-one time with her, so this is special.
Here's to another day of good choices.
Monday, August 08, 2011
I have been really wanting to start over with my commitment to eliminate sugar and flour from my diet, but just haven't been able to do it. Last week was my turning point, I made myself so sick with junk that I had no choice but to make a change.
On Saturday and Sunday I visited two FA (Food Addicts) metings, and reconfirmed that the program is not for me. I am impressed by what the participants have achieved with their plans, but my life can be so chaotic that anything too structured right now is a train wreck waiting to happen. I like having a structured plan in terms of what I will eat and how much, but I don't like as much rigidity as they require. Also, they require so many meetings and daily communication. I wish I could do it, I would love to have people like me to speak with daily to help stay focused. However I can't make that the most important thing in my life.
I was disappointed yesterday when I realized that I wasn't going to be able to do the FA program, but I am relieved that I atleast found out all the details and made a decision.
I did stop eating sugar/flour on Saturday, but had a little bit Sunday. Poor planning.
I am doing great today, and feeling great. I have more energy already and my brain feels more normal. Not feeling hungry constantly.
My goals going forward are:
1. Put my family first - make sure I'm spending time being productive for us (not daydreaming about the future, snacking or being a TV zombie)
2. Treat my body with respect and care
The way I will meet these goals:
1. Make to-do lists for each day and week so that I can accomplish household and personal chores more effectively
2. Do more prep work for meals the night before, so that I have more quality time with kids after work
3. Do more household chores during week, so that I am not stressed on the weekends
1. No sugar (will allow Stevia in limited quantities)
2. No flour (wheat, processed grains - basically only non-wheat, whole grain items)
3. Stay within my calorie range 6 days a week, allow myself 1 day (probably Sunday) to go higher for either a planned treat, date with Hubby or other worthwhile thing *only 1 meal though, not going crazy entire day
4. Continue walking more
5. 2 days strength training
Thursday, August 04, 2011
Time to confess to myself that I've been in denial the last few days. It started over the weekend. Saturday was great. A day of good choices and feeling great. Then on Sunday something happened, not sure what, but it ended with me eating my way through little debbies oatmeal cookie pies and telling myseld it was okay because I had eaten my vegetables and gotten in my exercise, plus my husband loves me just the way I am so I don't need to 'try' to lose weight.
Then Monday, the same thought from the end of Sunday, DH loves me just like I am, I don't need to lose weight. I ate my vegetables and got in my exercise so it was okay that I ate a couple fun size candy bars. They couldn't do too much damage.
Then Tuesday, instead of a couple fun size candy bars it was at least a dozen. Still got in my vegetables and exercise, though barely 10 minutes.
Then yesterday, dozens (heck, who am I fooling, I stopped counting after 10) of fun size candy bars, still got my vegetables but this time no exercise.
I don't like where this is going. I love my self too much to continue poisoning my body with all this sugar. I felt so sick and nauseous by the end of the day yesterday I just want to cry. Why do I keep doing this to myself, why to I let myself down time and time again. I would never let my kids do this, why do I let myself?
Today is a new day and a new chance to love myself. I am worth a nother chance, I will never be too far gone to start over.
Goals for today:
1. No candy, none, not even 1!
2. Get 20 minutes of activity.
3. 10 cups of water
4. Eat at least 4 veggie servings and 2 fruit servings.
5. Stop before eating something I didn't plan, take a break, take a walk, what ever I need to do to rethink eating something I don't need.
Get An Email Alert Each Time MOMMYRUNMOMMY Posts