Monday, June 17, 2013
Wow, where do I start? I am not sure. I feel like I should be vlogging this but I don't know I thought I would just type it out instead so if it is long I am sorry I am try to keep it short. Bare with me.
I signed up with SparkPeople forever ago it seems. I got a lot of motivation and met some really great people. I had a hard time losing then because I was in a relationship that constantly had me stressed to the max. We had been together a long time and well we had two kids together. Everything I would lose and I was happy it was like he was there to cut me down. I wasn't pretty enough, I wasn't skinny enough, blah, blah, blah. He would say look she lost weight and a lot too bad you can't look like her. It would get to me every time because I would just give up and cave in. A lot happened and I ended up living back at home. He promised me it would only be a few months but I have been here almost 3 years. Well, He left during the first 6 months if my memory gets it right. We haven't been together since but he has continuously said stuff to bring me down. A few weeks ago, I was brightened by the life and decided that he no longer had any control over me. I am a great woman and never did anything to make him question me. It feels good not to have that leech on me anymore. Him and his words have no bearing in my life.
Loving me! I am still having a hard time doing so. I take it day by day. I come to realize that I have to forgive the past and move on. That is why I think I am so stuck at times because I haven't forgiven what time has done to me. I have let go of all the hurt and anger. I am doing this one persona dn one situation at a time and it going really good. I have learned to forgive myself. We all make mistakes. I have learned from them and I now know what to in those situations. I may forgive but I will never forget.
Love Life. haha! What is that? Well I thought I had something recently until it all came crashing down. Well, I am glad that I found out now instead of too much ahead. It was a crazy connection but we just weren't mean to be together. I have realized that I have to learn to love myself before I can love anyone else to be in a relationship. My heart has been broken but it hasn't been defeated.
You have to take one day at a time and realize hat every mistake is a lesson learned. I am on this journey for no one but me. I started going about this all the wrong ways and I think I finally got it right. It is going to be a great journey. I am inspired, motivated. I have a plan and I plan on seeing it through all the way to my goal. Thank you all for reading my blog, remember to enjoy life to the best you can because this is the only life you have. Love yourself because in this journey its important for you to love yourself so that you love the journey you are successful! I am learning to do that now and let me tell you it makes a difference in how you feel.
Keep up the good work you all doing! You CAN do this! If I can do this so can you! Let's keep each other motivated, no one needs to be hated on, on here! Hugs!